


I just want to be loved

by aestia



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst with a Happy Ending, Chatting & Messaging, Denial of Feelings, Kidnapping, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mild Language, Minor Violence, Slow Burn, for some of them anyways, someone pray for kun, uh they all live in nova just roll with it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:07:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 53
Words: 96,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25054369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aestia/pseuds/aestia
Summary: dingdong: dear goddingdong: my roommate is a serial killer someone please helpteayong: nodingdong: why do you hate me smteayong: have you met yourselfdingdong: fair enougha chatfic ft. 11:11, dancing, angst, constant bickering and maybe the mafia?
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Qian Kun, Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Nakamoto Yuta, Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Taeyong/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Liu Yang Yang/Wong Kun Hang | Hendery/Xiao De Jun | Xiao Jun, Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le
Comments: 519
Kudos: 752





	1. friday

**Author's Note:**

> tags are in no particular order

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to hell I had to put the tomfoolery that came out of my mind somewhere so I birthed this
> 
> Chat names:  
> 11:11  
> Taeil: princess yue  
> Johnny: johnny appleseed  
> Taeyong: teayong  
> Yuta: yuTA  
> Kun: kung-fu  
> Doyoung: dingdong  
> Ten: number  
> Jaehyun: uknow  
> Jungwoo: jungle  
> Mark: markus  
> Jeno: jenna  
> Donghyuck: hockey hyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemming  
> Jisung: jwisung 
> 
> foreign swaggers  
> Johnny: chicago  
> Mark: canada  
> Jaehyun: connecticut
> 
> Nohyuckmin  
> Jeno: no  
> Donghyuck: hyuck  
> Jaemin: min

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 5:04]**

**[teayong is online]**

teayong: i thought i told you stupid fucks to take out the trash by friday aka TODAY

**[johnny appleseed, kung-fu, dingdong, and two others are online]**

johnny appleseed: it’s literally 5   
johnny appleseed: and wrong chat yong

teayong: shit

hockey hyuck: taeyong used a bad word i’m calling the police   
hockey hyuck: @dingdong

teayong: you say that as if you’ve never seen me swear before

dingdong: i saw the chat name and freaked out i thought i missed it    
dingdong: goddamn it taeyong 

teayong: i wish i could say i cared

kung-fu: i got it yong sorry i thought that ten was gonna do it

teayong: dw about it i’ll slaughter him in his sleep

kung-fu: please don’t   
kung-fu: it’s a lot of work cleaning blood stained sheets

johnny appleseed: how would you know

kung-fu: no comment

hockey hyuck: kun is a serial killer confirmed

kung-fu: i will neither confirm nor deny that statement without a lawyer present

dingdong: dear god   
dingdong: my roommate is a serial killer someone please help

teayong: no

dingdong: why do you hate me sm

teayong: have you met yourself

dingdong: fair enough   
dingdong: i’m going back to sleep kun p l e a s e kill me in my sleep thank you

kung-fu: you’ll have to pay up 

dingdong: fuck u

**[dingdong is offline]**

kung-fu: now that that menace is gone (jkjk ly doyoung)   
kung-fu: one of my friends invited me to a party tonight at 8 so any of yall wanna come?

teayong: do we know them? 

kung-fu: nah but he’s chill    
kung-fu: tall as fuck but other than that you would like him

johnny appleseed: why would we not like him for being tall

kung-fu: i know that taeyong doesn’t like tall people

hockey hyuck: lies he likes johnny

teayong: johnny is the only exception because he acts like he’s five feet and not six two

kung-fu: so yes or no

teayong: i’m down but idk about the rest of the children   
teayong: jisung is still in high school after all

kung-fu: dw about that   
kung-fu: one of my other high school friends is gonna be there and the bartender knows not to let the kids drink

johnny appleseed: i wanna go!   
johnny appleseed: you never introduce us to your friends 

kung-fu: sorry ig?? it just never came up

hockey hyuck: i wanna go too 

teayong: child

hockey hyuck: buzzkill

kung-fu: hyuck you’ll be fine

hockey hyuck: fucking bet   
hockey hyuck: well good night fuckers

**[hockey hyuck is offline]**

kung-fu: jungwoo stop lurking

kung-fu: dude

jungle: for your information i was not lurking   
jungle: i opened my phone and then fell back asleep let me read everything

jungle: oh i’ll go but who’s tending?

kung-fu: i doubt you’d know him but a sophomore named Dejun

jungle: i’ve heard the name before never a face   
jungle: is he cute?

kung-fu: yeah but he’s also taken sorry woo

jungle: damn i tried 

**[jungle is offline]**

johnny appleseed: when do you have to get everyone answer by

kung-fu: preferably before noon but i know that jaemin and jeno sleep like the dead so at least before 3

johnny appleseed: i can go wake ten up now?

kung-fu: nah he got the invite too he’ll probably respond on his own thanks tho

johnny appleseed: np i’m gonna go back to sleep now 

kung-fu: taeyong you should probably sleep too ik you just pulled those two all nighters

teayong: sleep is for the weak

kung-fu: taeyong…

teayong: fine smh

**[johnny appleseed and teayong are offline]**

kung-fu: yall better answer me by 3 or i won’t take you

**[kung-fu is offline]**

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 11:11]**

**[princess yue is online]**

princess yue: 🙏 make a wish bitches

**[johnny appleseed, teayong, yuTA, and ten others are online]**

kung-fu: 🙏

yuTA: 🙏

jwisung: 🙏

jaemming: 🙏

uknow: 🙏

dingdong: 🙏

johnny appleseed: 🙏

teayong: 🙏

hockey hyuck: 🙏

number: 🙏

jenna: 🙏

jungle: 🙏

markus: 🙏

teayong: thank you for always keeping us on time taeil

princess yue: you’re welcome 

johnny appleseed: i still don’t understand how you get it so consistently

princess yue: it’s a talent gifted to me by the gods   
princess yue: now farewell i must work   
princess yue: but to kun, yes

**[princess yue is offline]**

teayong: did he stop working just for 11:11

yuTA: well it’s an important ritual

jaemming: so he just got a random urge in the middle of work that it was 11:11

jenna: honestly at this point i wouldn’t be surprised taeil is just a wild card

kung-fu: oh right since all of you are here scroll up

dingdong: i’m going

jenna: ^

jaemming: ^^

markus: ^^^

uknow: ^^^^

yuTA: ^^^^^

jwisung: ^^^^^^

number: ^^^^^^^

kung-fu: your opinion is invalid ten

number: wow thanks

kung-fu: no problem dude

number:

johnny appleseed: d-dude zoned??

teayong: it’s okay ten it’ll get better

jwisung: as much as i’d love to see ten get absolutely wrecked i must leave before fucking mrs. kim takes my phone

dingdong: good luck in class jisungie

jwisung: thanks 

**[jwisung is offline]**

yuTA: whos hosting

kung-fu: sophomore named yukhei

markus: oh dear god yukhei

johnny appleseed: why oh dear god yukhei

markus: he’s cute as hell that’s why   
markus: he smiled at me the other day and i thought i would combust

hockey hyuck: inch arresting

markus: ??

hockey hyuck: nothing

**nohyuckmin** **  
** **[Today, 11:21]**

no: ah yes, you’re so subtle 

hyuck: jeno i won’t hesitate to snap that stupid neck of yours

min: pretty sure that’s assault

hyuck: pretty sure i don’t care

**foreign swaggers** **  
** **[Today, 11:21]**

connecticut: bro he’s jealous

canada: you don’t know that

chicago: we kind of do tho 

canada: silence

connecticut: only when you acknowledge that this isn’t one sided

canada: that sign can’t stop me because i can’t read

chicago: dude you’re going to have to do something eventually   
chicago: hyuck is popular   
chicago: he won’t be single forever

canada: and that’s perfectly fine   
canada: he won’t be happy if he’s with me

chicago: bruh

connecticut: bruh

canada: silence

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 11:34]**

teayong: love how everyone just stopped talking after markhyuck being stupid

yuTA: we’ve all given up on them 

johnny appleseed: i’m about to give up 

markus: :///

uknow: don’t give us that dumbass

hockey hyuck: sorry i ended the convo

dingdong: nah dw hyuck    
dingdong: just send the address later kun

kung-fu: alright    
kung-fu: farewell fuckers i have class 

**[kung-fu is offline]**

teayong: he just called us fuckers and dipped

jenna: to be fair we deserve it

jaemming: two of us deserve it *coughcough*

hockey hyuck: what is this?   
hockey hyuck: verbal abuse?   
hockey hyuck: i’m calling the police

johnny appleseed: acab

uknow: acab   
uknow: bro

johnny appleseed: bro

teayong: oh god

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why am i like this why can't i just focus on one work at a time  
> although it's not as bad as when i had 5 at the same time i almost deleted my Google account when that happened
> 
> Anyways! Congrats on getting through chapter 1 of hell it only gets worse from here on!


	2. friday/saturday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> johnny appleseed: oh my
> 
> dingdong: by seventeen
> 
> teayong: by monsta x  
> teayong: biTCH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (`□´) hisss it's chapter 2
> 
> Chat Names:  
> 11:11  
> Taeil: princess yue  
> Johnny: johnny appleseed  
> Taeyong: teayong  
> Yuta: yuTA  
> Kun: kung-fu  
> Doyoung: dingdong  
> Ten: number  
> Jaehyun: uknow  
> Jungwoo: jungle  
> Mark: markus  
> Jeno: jenna  
> Donghyuck: hockey hyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemming  
> Jisung: jwisung
> 
> kidz bop: (pretty self explanatory)
> 
> solemates: (pretty self explanatory too)

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 16:35]**

**[jwisung is online]**

jwisung: i need someone to drive me my parents are out tonight

**[teayong is online]**

teayong: i got you kid 

jwisung: thanks 

teayong: anyone else need a ride?   
teayong: speak now or forever hold your peace

**[dingdong, jenna, and hockey hyuck are online]**

dingdong: me!

teayong: i’m going to remove you and you can drive

dingdong: rude

jenna: can you take me and jaemin

hockey hyuck: i as well need a ride

teayong: yeah i can ask johnny to pick you guys up since jisung’s house is a little farther

jwisung: grr i can’t wait til i graduate   
jwisung: but at the same time there’s like 7 of you who are seniors

jenna: old

yuTA: i 

teayong: i won’t even try to defend myself anymore 

hockey hyuck: don’t worry i mean at least you’re not in your 30s yet

teayong: you guys treat kun and taeil like they’re 50

jwisung: they just give off that kinda vibe tho   
jwisung: most of you don’t   
jwisung: if i didn’t know better i’d think ten was like a junior or a sophomore

hockey hyuck: same tho 

yuTA: ten is a special case    
yuTA: we all know that he’s actually jisung’s age

jenna: i wouldn’t doubt it

teayong: anyways i just asked johnny he said he can come around 7:45

jenna: ty

hockey hyuck: booming system up up ty track ty track

teayong: i’m kinda regretting it now

jenna: i’m innocent i just said thank you

teayong: yes thank you jeno   
teayong: hyuck on the other hand

hockey hyuck: yw

teayong: i’m gonna tell johnny to leave you

hockey hyuck: i can just beg chani to take me

yuTA: why didn’t you just do that from the start 

hockey hyuck: he hasn’t been in the dorm all day so i thought he was busy but he just came back

teayong: i’m just kidding don’t bother the poor kid   
teayong: i feel bad enough that he has to share a dorm with you

hockey hyuck: fuck you i’m a delight

teayong: right   
teayong: just don’t ask him i heard from dawon that he was practicing for a performance and i don’t want to tire him out

hockey hyuck: hehe will do

teayong: next time i won’t be so merciful

hockey hyuck: oh god this bitch just fell asleep on the floor

**[hockey hyuck is offline]**

jenna: can we get an f in the chat for our boy kang chanhee

teayong: f

yuTA: f

jwisung: f

jenna: lowkey forgot that jisung was here

jwisung: that’s perfectly fine

teayong: do you not have homework to do 

jwisung: i’ll do it during homeroom

yuTA: quit slacking

jwisung: no

yuTA: child do you want to end up like me

jwisung: guess who’s doing their homework now   
jwisung: taeyong when are you coming

teayong: probably 7:30 ish

jwisung: okay thank you 

teayong: np kiddo

**[jwisung is offline]**

yuTA: i was lowkey hoping that he’d defend me

teayong: i don’t think he could

yuTA: sigh

jenna: i will remain speechless

yuTA: s i g h

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 19:46]**

**[johnny appleseed, dingdong, number, and two others are online]**

johnny appleseed: kun one of the dudes at the door is scary

**[kung-fu is online]**

kung-fu: oh shit sorry tell them that you’re with me and you’ll be fine

number: lol who was it

johnny appleseed: black hair

number: huh-

kung-fu: never thought i’d see the day when sicheng was called scary

dingdong: brown hair is kinda cute

kung-fu: hilarious

dingdong: what??

number: that kid is the devil and he’s also a freshman

dingdong: oh god i take it all back   
dingdong: i have sinned

jaemming: so we can just roam?

kung-fu: yes stay safe everyone   
kung-fu: sicheng dejun kunhang and yukhei try but they can never catch everything

jaemming: will do thanks for inviting us ^^

kung-fu: np

**kidz bop** **  
** **[Today, 23:48]**

jen: hey jaemin i’m not feeling too hot so i’m gonna go home first    
jen: are you gonna be okay?

jaem: yes!! go home and rest up!! dw about me i’ll be with renjun all night

jen: okay   
jen: stay safe don’t do anything that i wouldn’t

jaem: i know    
jaem: who’s taking you?

jen: doyoung

jaem: good   
jaem: feel better jen

jen: i will ^^ see you tomorrow

jaem: cya <3

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 11:11]**

**[princess yue is online]**

princess yue: 🙏 wake yall wasted asses up

**[johnny appleseed, teayong, kung-fu, and two others are online]**

johnny appleseed: 🙏

kung-fu: 🙏

dingdong: 🙏

jenna: 🙏

teayong: 🙏   
teayong: you’re literally never online unless it’s 11:11

princess yue: it’s a hassle to be constantly checking my messages so i take a 12 hour break

johnny appleseed: what if it’s urgent

princess yue: yall know what dms are   
princess yue: if it’s actually important then just use that

johnny appleseed: oh

princess yue: anyways 11:11 is over farewell

dingdong: bruh

princess yue: got a problem??

dingdong: nah

princess yue: that’s what i thought

**[princess yue is offline]**

teayong: jeno how are you feeling? jaemin told me that you went home early

jenna: a little better now   
jenna: and thanks doyoung for taking me back 

dingdong: np i’m glad you’re feeling better

kung-fu: are you sick?

jenna: yeah i think i’m coming down with something

kung-fu: sorry ://

jenna: no it’s not your fault!   
jenna: i think it’s just the random temperature changes

johnny appleseed: true   
johnny appleseed: it’s been really weird lately

jenna: it was literally in the 60s on wednesday and today it’s going up to 90

teayong: perhaps i should get a summer home in alaska

dingdong: if you can afford a summer home then you should pay off your loans first

teayong: hush   
teayong: i’m going to ignore doyoung from now on

dingdong: rude

teayong: i don’t care   
teayong: starting now i don’t know a kim dongyoung   
teayong: jeno who drove you home last night?? was it a stranger??

jenna:    
jenna: it’s okay you don’t know him

teayong: i don’t trust him i bet he’s a shady person

dingdong: this is so sad alexa play someday by jinho and hui

teayong: oh my god my alexa just turned on a ghost must be speaking

johnny appleseed: inch arresting

kung-fu: it’s okay doyoung

dingdong: the only one who cares

johnny appleseed: okay but doyoung your music taste?   
johnny appleseed: impeccable

dingdong: thank you

teayong: i now know a kim dongyoung   
teayong: jinho and hui are g o d s imagine having that talent

dingdong: shut up ty track you literally are the most talented person i know

teayong: no u whore

kung-fu: yall so aggressive for no reason   
kung-fu: calm your asses down

jenna: ^^

dingdong: must i remind you of the masterpiece that is mad city

teayong: must i remind you of the masterpiece that is don’t say goodbye

dingdong: ( ╬◣ 益◢）y━･~

teayong: ｢(#Φ益 Φo)∩

johnny appleseed: oh my

dingdong: by seventeen

teayong: by monsta x   
teayong: biTCH

dingdong: ﾚ(◣益◢#)ﾍ fight me 

kung-fu: i never thought i would have to do this

**[kung-fu (admin) has muted teayong for one minute]** **  
** **[kung-fu (admin) has muted dingdong for one minute]**

kung-fu: reflect on your actions or else i’ll mute you for the next 24 hours

**solemates** **  
** **[Today, 11:26]**

doyoungie: kun i’m sorry ://

kun-ge: are you really

doyoungie: perhaps

kun-ge: you’re just making things worse for yourself

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 11:26]**

jenna: why can we never be normal

johnny appleseed: i want admin rights too :(

kung-fu: sorry johnny but your phone is easy access for ten and i don’t trust admin rights anywhere near him

johnny appleseed: you hang out with ten the most out of all of us??

kung-fu: he’s never guessed my password so dw

johnny appleseed: i see 

jenna: that i’m icy

johnny appleseed: go rising up up 

kung-fu: i see that i’m icy

jenna: it makes me sad that half the group is in still high school but they can do stuff like that

johnny appleseed: weren’t almost all of us in high school when we started the group?

kung-fu: yeah lol jisung was still in middle school   
kung-fu: wild

jenna: that doesn’t even sound real wtf

teayong: alsdkjf   
teayong: oh thank god

johnny appleseed: wtf

teayong: i was spamming the entire time i was muted    
teayong: because actually the second that kun muted me was when i got a text from sicheng from last night

kung-fu: sicheng texted you first?? never thought i’d live to see the day that happened

dingdong: kun thanks a lot i reflected on my actions and i found that i truly was being a dickwad so i must apologize

teayong: who are you and what have you done with doyoung

dingdong: i’m a changed man now taeyong

teayong: sounds fake but i’m kinda busy so i’ll deal with it

johnny appleseed: what did sicheng want?

teayong: he was asking about if nct was accepting any new members

kung-fu: omg my child i never knew he was interested

jenna: what are you gonna tell him

teayong: idk   
teayong: i want to but i’d want to hear all your opinions first

kung-fu: i want him!! 

johnny appleseed: me too he seemed like he was a good kid

jenna: i didn’t meet him :(( but i want to 

dingdong: take him take him take him

kung-fu: take him do it now let’s add him

teayong: kun calm down lmao    
teayong: @uknow @jungle your thoughts? he’s the same age as you two

**[uknow is online]**

uknow: i knew i should’ve put my phone on silent before going to sleep   
uknow: but yes i’m fine with it the more the merrier    
uknow: jungwoo probably won’t wake up for a while so just add him 

teayong: alright

**[teayong (admin) has added Si Cheng Dong to the chat!]**

Si Cheng Dong: dear god why is the chat name that?

kung-fu: sicheng!

Si Cheng Dong: who are you?

kung-fu: it’s kun

Si Cheng Dong: oh sorry hi!

teayong: hi sicheng it’s taeyong! We just talked!

Si Cheng Dong: this is the nct group chat?

teayong: yes!

johnny appleseed: hi sicheng it’s johnny from last night

Si Cheng Dong: hi! 

jenna: i’m jeno! we didn’t meet in person yet but it’s nice to meet you

Si Cheng Dong: hi :) 

uknow: i’m jaehyun and my head hurts so i’m gonna skrrt

**[uknow is offline]**

Si Cheng Dong: hangover?

teayong: probably

dingdong: welcome to your worst nightmare i’m doyoung

Si Cheng Dong: you guys can’t possibly be worse than yangyang

kung-fu: you’d be surprised

Si Cheng Dong: i regret everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> will doyoung and taeyong ever stop fighting? will sicheng ever not regret joining nct? is taeil the god of time? we may never know
> 
> Our minor cameos for the chapter: Chani and Dawon from SF9! Chani is Donghyuck's roommate btw. Go support them!


	3. saturday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> soupcheng: yall better not make me regret asking taeyong to add you
> 
> Chen Le Zhong: lmaoo why is your name soupcheng 
> 
> soupcheng: don’t make me regret this chenle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm trying to make myself feel like I'm worth something so I'm posting this in the middle of the night
> 
> Chat names:  
> 11:11  
> Taeil: princess yue  
> Johnny: johnny appleseed  
> Taeyong: teayong  
> Yuta: yuTA  
> Kun: kung-fu  
> Doyoung: dingdong  
> Ten: number  
> Jaehyun: uknow  
> Sicheng: soupcheng  
> Jungwoo: jungle  
> Yukhei: yukas  
> Mark: markus  
> Dejun: of july  
> Kunhang: kun man  
> Renjun: renning  
> Jeno: jenna  
> Donghyuck: hockey hyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemming  
> Yangyang: sheepsheep  
> Chenle: angel le  
> Jisung: jwisung
> 
> Shrek 5 2k20:  
> Kun: horst  
> Ten: shrek  
> Sicheng: pinocchio  
> Yukhei: prince charming  
> Dejun: dragon  
> Kunhang: donkey  
> Renjun: fairy godmother  
> Yangyang: puss in boots  
> Chenle: rumpelstiltskin

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 22:26]**

number: so that should be a run down of everyone

Si Cheng Dong: does donghyuck play hockey?

hockey hyuck: nah it’s cause they beat me up like i’m a hockey puck

Si Cheng Dong: oh god should i call the cps?

hockey hyuck: ngl i deserve it sometimes

Si Cheng Dong: that’s not good   
Si Cheng Dong: the entire day passed but jungwoo still hasn’t come on yet?

uknow: yeah he values his sleep a lot   
uknow: plus he pushed himself really hard this week and needs a break 

Si Cheng Dong: i see   
Si Cheng Dong: i hope he feels better

uknow: he should be fine 

Si Cheng Dong: that’s good

jaemming: i kinda hate seeing an actual name in this chat we have to change it

Si Cheng Dong: ??

**[jaemming has changed Si Cheng Dong’s name to soupcheng]**

soupcheng: ?????

jaemming: that was the first thing that came to mind

soupcheng: why tho????

jaemming: you said last night that your name is pronounced like seu cheong so i just thought of soup

soupcheng: oh god

teayong: it only gets worse from here sicheng

soupcheng: i wanna leave 

hockey hyuck: too late for that

jaemming: you’re stuck here now

soupcheng: please

number: nothing i can do

soupcheng: fine i will accept my fate

number: that’s the spirit

soupcheng: @teayong some of the others wanna join too   
soupcheng: would that be okay?

teayong: yes! just tell them to text me!

soupcheng: will do

hockey hyuck: the others??

soupcheng: my other friends that you may or may not have met last night

teayong: i’m just gonna add them since they all seemed pretty nice

**[teayong (admin) has added Yuk Hei Wong, De Jun Xiao, Kun Hang Wong, and three others to the chat!]**

De Jun Xiao: that was quick 

Kun Hang Wong: fr

soupcheng:  _ yall better not make me regret asking taeyong to add you _

Chen Le Zhong:  _ lmaoo why is your name soupcheng  _

soupcheng:  _ don’t make me regret this chenle _

Chen Le Zhong:  _ no _

hockey hyuck: i feel outnumbered somehow

teayong: with our new additions we now have 9 chinese members so we almost are outnumbered

Yang Yang Liu: letsgo

soupcheng: introduce yourselves children

Yuk Hei Wong: im yukhei! you can call me lucas or xuxi tho i respond to everything and i’m a sophomore

**[jaemming has changed Yuk Hei Wong’s name to yukas]**

jaemming: naming squad has been dispatched donghyuck don’t disappoint me

hockey hyuck: as you command

yukas: interesting

De Jun Xiao: i’m xiao dejun i’m a sophomore nice to meet you

**[hockey hyuck has changed De Jun Xiao’s named to of july]**

jaemming: i see your sense has not died yet donghyuck 

hockey hyuck: indeed master

Kun Hang Wong: i’m kunhang/hendery and i’m the same age as dejun

soupcheng: i call this one

jaemming: i see sicheng is looking to join the squad

**[soupcheng has changed Kun Hang Wong’s name to kun man]**

hockey hyuck: con man?

soupcheng: yes

jaemming: today we welcome sicheng to the naming squad

hockey hyuck: welcome dong sicheng

of july: what the fuck

yukas: don’t question it dejun

kun man: i mean at least mine fits

Yang Yang Liu: i’m yangyang i’m a freshman

jaemming: freshie!!!

**[hockey hyuck has changed Yang Yang Liu’s name to sheepsheep]**

sheepsheep: thank you mr. hockey hyuck

hockey hyuck: you’re welcome

teayong: wait hyuck you know chinese

hockey hyuck: i only know the word for sheep 

teayong: interesting

Chen Le Zhong: i’m chenle and i’m a high school senior

teayong: oh you’re the one who kept jisung company last night right?

Chen Le Zhong: that’s me 

teayong: thanks for that

Chen Le Zhong: no problem ^^ he was nice to talk to 

**[jaemming has changed Chen Le Zhong’s name to angel le]**

angel le: isn’t everyone’s name a pun? what about mine?

jaemming: jisung said your name is pronounced cheonluh so i just took cheon and made cheonsa 

angel le: jisung…?

jaemming: he’s reading over my shoulder

angel le: oh! hi! (*^▽^*)

jaemming: he says hi too   
jaemming: who’s left?

of july: renjun but he’s working on a project rn

jaemming: omg renjun

**[jaemming has changed Ren Jun Huang’s name to renning]**

hockey hyuck: renjun the real g    
hockey hyuck: motherfucker never mentioned being into dance 

yukas: cause you literally met last night??

soupcheng: he’s actually hella good and he’s self taught    
soupcheng: my child 

teayong: hilarious how that’s what kun called you

soupcheng: i take it back i take it back i take it back i take it back

sheepsheep: lmao

teayong: anyways i’m taeyong and i’m a senior

hockey hyuck: i’m donghyuck, freshman 

jaemming: jaemin and i’m a freshman too

teayong: jaehyun and ten stop lurking

uknow: no   
uknow: i’m jaehyun and i’m a junior

number: they already know who i am

of july: oh god it’s ten

kun man: oh god it’s ten

sheepsheep: oh god it’s ten

number: wtf is that supposed to mean

teayong: the rest will introduce themselves later

yukas: chill

**[princess yue is online]**

princess yue: wassup whores 🙏

teayong: 🙏   
teayong: why are you like this

jaemming: 🙏

hockey hyuck: 🙏

number: 🙏

uknow: 🙏

kun man: what

teayong: it’s a ritual    
teayong: every 11:11 we make a wish

angel le: is that why the chat is named 11:11

teayong: yeah   
teayong: introduce yourself old man

princess yue: rude   
princess yue: i’m Taeil Moon and i’m a senior nice to meet you guys :))

hockey hyuck: taeil is the one who always reminds us of it   
hockey hyuck: he has superpowers or summ 

jaemming: fr he gets it every single time

princess yue: next time you guys have to join in too 

number: no exceptions

yukas: i gotchu

sheepsheep: it doesn’t count if you have an alarm right?

princess yue: yes   
princess yue: it has to be luck or someone in this chat reminding you for it to count

of july: oddly specific

teayong: we’ve kept this going since our junior year of high school so ofc there are a few rules lmao

angel le: you’re real fucking lucky then taeil 

princess yue: thanks i am the moon after all    
princess yue: also it felt so weird to have the screen name as angel le only for you to curse

angel le: oops sorry

princess yue: nah it’s whatever

jaemming: so now there’s 21 people in this chat that kinda sucks huh

hockey hyuck: yeah lol i’m gonna have to mute my phone permanently

yukas: it’ll be fun! 

teayong: i can feel the gray hairs

number: just dye your hair again you don’t seem to have a problem with that normally

teayong: damn 

princess yue: is he wrong tho

teayong: hush   
teayong: you’re online for longer than usual

princess yue: there are new additions i have to make sure you don’t die from stress   
princess yue: especially if they’re as bad as kun and sicheng say

number: is my opinion not valid 

princess yue:  _ kung-fu: your opinion is invalid ten {friday, 11:16 AM} _

of july: h-he got receipts 

number: this is bullying

princess yue: this is me not caring

hockey hyuck: taeil you’re an actual legend

princess yue: thank you i try

jaemming: nah you don’t even need to try you’re just naturally like that

princess yue: omg jaemin is now my favorite child 

jaemming: ( ˘ ³˘)♥ ly too

hockey hyuck: damn i got replaced

princess yue: donghyuck you were never my favorite child

hockey hyuck: ∑(ﾟﾛﾟ〃)

princess yue: you’re my favorite person it goes above child

hockey hyuck: oh okay    
hockey hyuck: dw you’re mine too

sheepsheep: what is this lmao

kun man: sus

hockey hyuck: ♡♡+.ﾟ(￫ε￩*)ﾟ+.ﾟ @ taeil

princess yue: (๑o̴̶̷̥᷅﹏o̴̶̷̥᷅๑) hyuck and jaemin are the only valid people to ever exist

angel le: dang

teayong: after everything i’ve done for you,,, the betrayal

number: fr

princess yue: irrelevant   
princess yue: except the new ones who have done nothing wrong

soupcheng: i see

number: that i’m icy

**Shrek 5 2k20** **  
** **[Today, 23:56]**

pinocchio: what was that about?

dragon: are there any boundaries that we shouldn’t cross

puss in boots: the relationship tea??

shrek: taeyong and johnny, doyoung and jaehyun, and jeno and jaemin are fine if you make fun of them relationship wise   
shrek: but don’t ever bring up donghyuck and mark cause they’re sensitive and in denial   
shrek: don’t call taeil old yet cause he only lets people that are really close to him do that   
shrek: if taeyong ever tells you to stop cursing then do it you don’t want angry taeyong   
shrek: jeno is really self conscious tho so don’t tease him that’s about it

rumpelstiltskin: will do

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 00:08]**

teayong: they disappeared??

soupcheng: sorry something urgent came up for a sec

jaemming: everything good?

of july: yeah we just decided we didn’t care

princess yue: that’s kind chaotic huh

kun man: it’s fine if we don’t care

teayong: i don’t think that’s how that works

sheepsheep: it is now

**[dingdong is online]**

dingdong: hi i’m doyoung i’m a senior and gO TO SLEEP   
dingdong: yall are so fUCKING LOUD

teayong: damn put your phone on silent 

dingdong: i have to leave my ringer on cause my dad had to go to the hospital and my mom said she was gonna call me when she got an update and i just hear ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding

teayong: oh sorry

hockey hyuck: that’s your name

dingdong: donghyuck 

hockey hyuck: sorry sorry i hope your dad is okay

dingdong: thanks but it’s not just my phone   
dingdong: you guys should get a healthy amount of sleep whenever you can   
dingdong: if you stay up too late then you’ll just fuck yourself over in the long run

angel le: sorry :((

dingdong: it’s okay i just don’t want you guys to pass out from exhaustion and sleep deprivation   
dingdong: just go to sleep   
dingdong: all of you   
dingdong: that includes you taeyong

teayong: fine fine    
teayong: sleep well guys

yukas: good night!!

sheepsheep: gn

kun man: good night

of july: sorry about your dad ://

dingdong: it’s okay   
dingdong: just take care of yourselves

angel le: yes sir!

**[teayong, dingdong, number, and eight others are offline]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I die and am face to face with God, He might punish me for my heresy.  
> "What have you done during your time on Earth?" He might ask, and I might respond to Him, saying, "I lived the best life I possibly could." Instantly, He might become overcome with rage at my blatant lie, pulling up my Google Docs and pointing to Klare Leu and I just want to be loved. His booming voice might fill heaven, howling in pure fury at my buffoonery.  
> "You dare to tell lies in front of me, your Supreme Ruler? You claim to bias both Renjun and Doyoung, yet you put them through this suffering? You are not My child, you are truly the spawn of Satan!"  
> At His words, angels might fly to my sides and cast me into the deepest pits of Hell. Maybe right before the hole closes, I may be able to hear Him hollering, "You are a disgrace!" I might spend all of eternity burning for my sins. 
> 
> BUT THAT'S A HUGE MIGHT BECAUSE I AM IMMORTAL UNTIL PROVEN OTHERWISE. 
> 
> if you couldn't realize my brain is so incredibly fucking fried rn and i'm just pressing letters and hoping they make sense my little bastard sentences are no longer my problem good luck trying to understand them i'd like to say i'm sorry but i can no longer comprehend emotions such as guilt and regret i hope you understand
> 
> I wanna see a therapist... But they're so expensive and I'm not worth that so I'll settle for ao3 author's notes... You guys don't have to read these anymore


	4. sunday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ren Jun Huang: do you want to die
> 
> yangyang: yes
> 
> Ren Jun Huang: then suffer as i leave you to live

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think my family is sick of me playing Kidult and Together. Those two songs are the only things that are giving me serotonin right now though, so they can suck a dick
> 
> Chat names:  
> 11:11  
> Taeil: princess yue  
> Johnny: johnny appleseed  
> Taeyong: teayong  
> Yuta: yuTA  
> Kun: kung-fu  
> Doyoung: dingdong  
> Ten: number  
> Jaehyun: uknow  
> Sicheng: soupcheng  
> Jungwoo: jungle  
> Yukhei: yukas  
> Mark: markus  
> Xiaojun: of july  
> Kunhang: kun man  
> Renjun: renning  
> Jeno: jenna  
> Donghyuck: hockey hyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemming  
> Yangyang: sheepsheep  
> Chenle: angel le  
> Jisung: jwisung 
> 
> freshies  
> Renjun: march  
> Yangyang: october
> 
> momo but with a glock  
> Taeil: iroh  
> Johnny: katara  
> Taeyong: aang  
> Yuta: bumi  
> Kun: zuko  
> Doyoung: toph  
> Ten: sokka  
> Jaehyun: appa
> 
> johnjae  
> Johnny: john  
> Jaehyun: jae

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 10:05]**

**[renning is online]**

renning: what the fuck

**[jungle, markus, and jenna are online]**

markus: god i feel like i haven’t been on here in weeks

jungle: same   
jungle: i don’t think i’ve been awake for over five minutes since friday night

renning: what am i doing here   
renning: who are you people

markus: you didn’t text taeyong about joining nct??

renning: nah who tf taeyong

**[sheepsheep is online]**

sheepsheep: renjunnie don’t be so mean

renning: bro who ARE you

sheepsheep: it’s yangyang

renning: what did you do you slimy motherfucker

sheepsheep: i asked taeyong to add you to this music group called nct

renning: now why on earth would you choose to do that

sheepsheep: for fun!   
sheepsheep: you never do anything!

renning: i sleep and i do my work that’s all i need to do    
renning: just that party on friday was enough social interaction for the rest of the year

markus: renjun it’s mark

renning: oh   
renning: sorry i was rude

markus: it’s okay you didn’t know anything

jungle: i’m jungwoo idk if you remember me

renning: nah i do nice to talk to you again

jenna: it’s jeno!!!

renning: omg did you get home okay???

jenna: yeah! 

sheepsheep: see you like it here already!

renning: i’m going to rip your shins out of your legs and force feed them to you while i get a flock of geese to eat your eyes

jungle: oh my

jenna: lord

sheepsheep: (☉｡☉)

markus: that’s terrifying

renning: sorry i should’ve done that in the dms

jungle: it’s okay as long as you don’t do it in front of taeyong or something

markus: although ideally we leave our shins in our legs and stay away from geese

renning: no promises

sheepsheep: i’m being threatened

renning: nice to meet you being threatened i’m not caring

jungle: renjun you’re gonna fit in really well lmao

renning: i wish i didn’t   
renning: i’m just gonna read everything from before then if you’ll excuse me

**Conversation with Yang Yang Liu** **  
** **[Today, 10:36]**

Jeno Lee: hi

Yang Yang Liu: omg why are we whispering   
Yang Yang Liu: lmao jkjk what’s up?

Jeno Lee: is that a regular occurrence? like for renjun

Yang Yang Liu: yeah   
Yang Yang Liu: he’s not one for social interaction   
Yang Yang Liu: i was actually really surprised when i found out he talked with you and jaemin and your friends

Jeno Lee: i see

Yang Yang Liu: that you’re icy?

Jeno Lee: yes   
Jeno Lee: thanks dude

Yang Yang Liu: np come to me anytime you want ^^

Jeno Lee: thanks    
Jeno Lee: you don’t seem like half the nightmare that kun and sicheng said you were

Yang Yang Liu: i’m toning it down because we’re not super close yet   
Yang Yang Liu: just you wait ;)

Jeno Lee: oh god i regret asking

**New Group Conversation** **  
** **[Today, 10:42]**

**[Yang Yang Liu (admin) has added Yuk Hei Wong, Mark Lee, De Jun Xiao, and seven others to the chat!]** **  
** **[Yang Yang Liu (admin) has changed the chat name to young people]** **  
** **[Yang Yang Liu (admin) has changed Yang Yang Liu’s name to yangyang]**

yangyang: welcome

Jeno Lee: what’s this

yangyang: so we can get closer!

Jeno Lee: huh

**[Jeno Lee has changed Jeno Lee’s name to jeno]**

jeno: i feel like this won’t turn out well for the upperclassmen

yangyang: that’s the goal here

**[Mark Lee has changed Mark Lee’s name to mark]**

mark: honestly anything goes as long as we don’t get in trouble

yangyang: facts

jeno: wow even mark is into it

mark: i need to have as much fun as i can before finals come

yangyang: Y E S   
yangyang: mark is the only woke person here

jeno: i will not argue

yangyang: yes because you cannot it is facts

Ren Jun Huang: why is this a thing

yangyang: you’re bad at scrolling up

Ren Jun Huang: do you want to die

yangyang: yes

Ren Jun Huang: then suffer as i leave you to live

yangyang: choke on a dick

jeno: this is kinda aggressive

Ren Jun Huang: dw jeno he deserves it

jeno: if you say so

yangyang: i will not attack unless provoked, which is what he’s doing

mark: huh   
mark: is that so

yangyang: yes do you doubt me   
yangyang: i have receipts

Ren Jun Huang: do you now

yangyang: yes   
yangyang: actually that sounds real fucking scary so i’m gonna say no

Ren Jun Huang: congrats you made the right choice

**[Ren Jun Huang has changed Ren Jun Huang’s name to renjun]**

yangyang: does this mean that you’ll kill me

renjun: tough luck kid

yangyang: goddamn it

jeno: just a thought but i don’t think that you should be asking renjun to kill you

yangyang: why not

jeno: it's just not healthy

yangyang: sucks for me then huh   
yangyang: also where is everyone else

jeno: everyone sleeps in on the weekends lmao

**[Jisung Park is online]**

Jisung Park: whatsup fuckers

yangyang: why do you have my phone

Jisung Park: fuck you that’s why

yangyang: truly a legend

Jisung Park: thank you sir yangyang

yangyang: you’re quite welcome sir jisung

**[Jisung Park has changed Jisung Park’s name to jisung]**

jisung: altho i have to say sir yangyang it would not be good for your health should you ask sir renjun to kill you

yangyang: i see sir jisung   
yangyang: i will take your advice into consideration

jisung: i truly hope that you stay in the best health

yangyang: you have my utmost gratitude

jeno: 

renjun: you disgust me yangyang

yangyang: bold of you to assume i care

renjun: bold of you assume i won’t burn your signed yixing pc

yangyang: you wouldn’t

renjun: try me

mark: yangyang the taste is impeccable   
mark: yixing world domination

yangyang: y e s    
yangyang: i said this earlier but mark is literally the only woke person in this chat

jisung: i’m not even sure what to think of this chat anymore lmao

yangyang: i made it cause jeno said i wasn’t ‘half the nightmare’ kun ge and sicheng said i was and i wanted to get closer!   
yangyang: cause it’s fun making life hell for old people!

jeno: i’m so fucking terrified of you

yangyang: you’re scared of me but not renjun   
yangyang: who literally threatened to have geese eat my eyes while he shoves my own shins down my throat   
yangyang: who just said that he would burn my signed yixing pc

jeno: i’m more concerned for him tbh   
jeno: but calling him scary is a stretch

renjun: suck it yang

yangyang: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**freshies**   
**[Today, 11:01]**

october: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

march: don’t fucking start   
march: i literally met him two days ago

october: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

march: i’m going to kill you

october: good

**young people** **  
** **[Today, 11:03]**

jisung: yall good?

renjun: he was being annoying so i slaughtered him

yangyang: UNFORTUNATELy   
yangyang: i’m still alive

mark: i don’t think you should be saying unfortunately   
mark: please don’t die i’m sure we would all miss you

yangyang: oh? (;･o･)   
yangyang: i’ve only known you for two days but you care more than renjun   
yangyang: who i’ve known since fourth grade

renjun: that’s cause he doesn’t know how much a hassle you are

yangyang: and it’s gonna stay that way

renjun: right

jisung: taeyong is gonna get gray hairs cause of you guys

yangyang: it’s okay we’ve already made kun start graying what’s one more to add to the list

renjun: press f to pay respects

jisung: f

jeno: f

mark: f

yangyang: f

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 11:11]**

sheepsheep: omg   
sheepsheep: 🙏

jwisung: 🙏

jenna: 🙏

markus: 🙏

jungle: 🙏

renning: wtf

**[princess yue is online]**

princess yue: 🙏   
princess yue: good job yang you even beat me

sheepsheep: i wasn’t actually expecting to get it lmao   
sheepsheep: everyone really does sleep in huh

jwisung: usually this chat dies on the weekends   
jwisung: @dingdong your dad okay??

**[dingdong is online]**

dingdong: idk   
dingdong: my mom hasn’t called me yet   
dingdong: i’m hoping that he is

sheepsheep: sorry for bothering you last night

dingdong: i said i t s o k a y   
dingdong: if anything i should be the one saying sorry   
dingdong: i was stressed and blew up and you guys didn’t deserve to be yelled at

renning: why does it sound like you’re blaming yourself   
renning: you were only worried about their health and you were having a hard time

sheepsheep: i hate to say it but i agree with renjun

renning: this is why i don’t like you

sheepsheep: i know you love me

renning: debatable

jenna: but renjun’s right    
jenna: you don’t need to apologize

markus: they all know that you just had their wellbeing in mind dw doyoung

dingdong: yeah   
dingdong: damn i missed 11:11 by like less than a minute

jwisung: lmao you’ll get it next time chief

dingdong: taeil being beaten?? something i never thought i’d see

jenna: ikr

sheepsheep: i am the revolution

renning: you are a pain in the ass

sheepsheep: i didn’t even do anything

renning: you existed

sheepsheep: fair

**momo but with a glock** **  
** **[Today, 11:13]**

iroh: doyoungie? you good?

toph: idk dude

**[katara is online]**

katara: i just read thru everything and you kinda seemed down doyoung

toph: hrngh   
toph: my mom did call me last night

iroh: oh god

toph: stroke   
toph: i left at like 1 for the hospital

katara: so that’s what all the noise was 

toph: sorry

katara: no it’s okay

toph: i made it right before he couldn’t hold on anymore   
toph: but i didn’t wanna make the kids worry

katara: i respect your decision   
katara: but the kids aren’t really kids anymore   
katara: they would want to support you any way they can

iroh: even yangyang and renjun were trying to help you

toph: hrngh i know but i would feel bad if i just told them right off the bat   
toph: i’m probably just gonna log off for a little bit   
toph: i can’t really process anything rn

iroh: yeah ofc

katara: i’m so sorry doyoungie

toph: it’s okay   
toph: i just   
toph: need a little break

katara: we love you 

iroh: come back whenever you’re ready

toph: love you too

**[toph is offline]**

**johnjae**   
**[Today, 11:36]**

john: WHORE WAKE UP

**[jae is online]**

jae: damn whatchu want

john: THE MOMO BUT WITH A GLOCK GC

jae: bruh

jae: oh NAH WTF   
jae: doyoungie…   
jae: i fucking missed him goddamn it

john: i really wanna tell you to go comfort him but he said he needs time

jae: i’m gonna go fucking insane   
jae: ofc the one day that i decide to not wake up at 11:11 this shit happens   
jae: god is telling me to die

john: it’s okay   
john: the second he says he’s ready you can go smother him

jae: fuck yeah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yangyang and Renjun = Taeyong and Doyoung  
> that's the dynamic pretty much but renjun is a lot more uh aggressive and yangyang craves death  
> i can't wait to burn in hell for torturing doyoung and renjun :)
> 
> also question  
> would yall like more frequent updates cause if you want i might be able to do an update every two days? idk yet but if yall want it i'm sure i can make it work


	5. monday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jwisung: oh to eat breakfast made by kun before classes start
> 
> angel le: it’s a dream too far away for us jisung
> 
> jwisung: one day we’ll make it don’t lose hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> say happy birthday to BC or else 🔫😠 i posted this a day early so tell my boy happy birthday 
> 
> Chat names:  
> 11:11  
> Taeil: princess yue  
> Johnny: johnny appleseed  
> Taeyong: teayong  
> Yuta: yuTA  
> Kun: kung-fu  
> Doyoung: dingdong  
> Ten: number  
> Jaehyun: uknow  
> Sicheng: soupcheng  
> Jungwoo: jungle  
> Yukhei: yukas  
> Mark: markus  
> Xiaojun: of july  
> Kunhang: kun man  
> Renjun: renning  
> Jeno: jenna  
> Donghyuck: hockey hyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemming  
> Yangyang: sheepsheep  
> Chenle: angel le  
> Jisung: jwisung
> 
> china line seniors  
> Kun: kunnie  
> Ten: tennie

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 3:12]**

**[number is online]**

number: anyone else slightly worried by the fact that taeil didn’t do the pm 11:11

**[teayong, yuTA, jungle, and five others are online]**

teayong: me

kun man: i feel like i should be??

yuTA: yes you should be

jungle: i’ve known him since junior year of high school and he almost never misses it

hockey hyuck: wasn’t the last time he missed it back in like my sophomore year

teayong: ye i’m kinda concerned

sheepsheep: i wonder if it has anything to do with doyoung?

renning: i am: worried  
renning: was it just me or did doyoung seem sad?  
renning: like i barely know him but the way he was texting

number: yeah it didn’t seem like he was okay

sheepsheep: i hope we don’t wake him up again

kun man: yeah he was pretty stressed last night

teayong: although i’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have to be as stressed if he didn’t wake up to people texting

hockey hyuck: you were there last night and today too

teayong: no comment  
teayong: but he does have a point  
teayong: it’s not good for you guys to stay up so late

jaemming: you’re staying up late literally every day

teayong: i’m old and my health is too far gone

yuTA: what about me

number: ^^

teayong: i’m older than both of you

yuTA: by a few months!

teayong: still older

number: you’re hopeless

jungle: i mean there’s no reason to speculate  
jungle: if doyoung wants to tell us what’s wrong then he’ll do it  
jungle: and taeil isn’t the guardian of 11:11

hockey hyuck: very true

sheepsheep: i beat him this morning! i should be the new guardian

kun man: you can’t guard anything for shit

sheepsheep: hush

teayong: i’m the last person who should be saying this but yall should go to sleep  
teayong: tomorrow is monday and if i’m not mistaken then some of you have morning classes

jaemming: only if you do

teayong: fine

number: still worried about doyoung and taeil

yuTA: they’ll be okay  
yuTA: they always somehow pull everything off

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 7:42]**

**[kung-fu is online]**

kung-fu: i doubt that you guys are gonna be awake rn but if you don’t want the cafeteria food then go over to the seniors’ apartment there’s breakfast by yours truly and taeyong

**[jenna is online]**

jenna: did i ever tell you that i love you

kung-fu: nope

jenna: well i love you

kung-fu: thank you

**[uknow, yukas, of july, and two others are online]**

yukas: you guys are gods

of july: me and yukhei are running we will see you in a few minutes

kung-fu: make sure you don’t get into an accident

of july: no promises

kung-fu: child please

uknow: i’m coming too that’s okay right

kung-fu: ofc i wouldn’t have offered otherwise

uknow: sweet

jwisung: if i wasn’t stuck on a bus rn then i’d totally come over 

angel le: fr  
angel le: it’s always so crowded

kung-fu: it’s okay you only have a few months left 

angel le: but 1/3 of the group is graduating

jwisung: yeah it’s gonna be lonely

jenna: are the rest of us dead to you

jwisung: yes

of july: damn

yukas: kinda hurts

uknow: didn’t know you hated us that much jisungie

jwisung: congrats now you do

angel le: damn

of july: kun please open door

kung-fu: yeah gimme a second 

jwisung: oh to eat breakfast made by kun before classes start

angel le: it’s a dream too far away for us jisung

jwisung: one day we’ll make it don’t lose hope

kung-fu: lol it’s not like we’re dying after this year  
kung-fu: we can still cook for you all 

jwisung: what did i say chenle  
jwisung: i can see the light already

angel le: i must’ve saved a country in my past life to deserve this

jenna: i would say that you’re being dramatic but  
jenna: kun probably cooked for the gods before coming down to earth to bless us humans

kung-fu: ^^;  
kung-fu: taeyong helped too

yukas: the chefs of the gods

uknow: what did i do to earn this

kung-fu: yall really  
kung-fu: love you guys

jwisung: :///

angel le: this is unfair  
angel le: jisung let’s just ditch

jwisung: ya yeet

kung-fu: no don’t  
kung-fu: if you do i won’t feed you

angel le: we just can’t win

jwisung: maybe if we ask jaemin…

jenna: don’t you dare wake him up just to make him cook for you

jwisung: that isn’t very cash money of you

angel le: frfr  
angel le: we just want good food

kung-fu: how bout this  
kung-fu: if you two focus today then i’ll make lunch for you tomorrow

angel le: !!!!!!

jwisung: deal

angel le: but are you gonna drop it off at our houses?

kung-fu: leave that to me  
kung-fu: class should be starting soon so good luck today!

angel le: i wish kun was my real dad

jwisung: same  
jwisung: kun would treat me right

uknow: cause he has daddy issues and doesn’t want anyone else to suffer like him

kung-fu: you didn’t have to be this loud

angel le: kun has wHAT

uknow: lol can i expose you

kung-fu: sigh  
kung-fu: i suppose so

uknow: he actually got fuckin disowned in like 6th grade for being the big homo

yukas: i feel like i’ve heard this story before

of july: you should’ve you were there when kun told us at first

jwisung: were me and chenle the only ones that didn’t know

kung-fu: i didn’t tell yang or ten either so dw  
kung-fu: focus on class!!

jwisung: feel like kun having daddy issues is more important than class

kung-fu: hush or i’ll mute you myself

angel le: okay bye!! 

uknow: don’t die children

jwisung: gonna do that now that you told me not to

uknow: hoe

**china line seniors** **  
** **[Today, 8:15]**

tennie: you got disowned by your dad?

kunnie: ??

tennie: in the 11:11 chat they were talking about it

kunnie: how’d you know?

tennie: notifications

kunnie: oh

tennie: how come you never told me?

kunnie: i just didn’t think it was important

tennie: how could parental problems not be important?  
tennie: i feel like you never tell me anything  
tennie: aren’t we best friends?

kunnie: we are!  
kunnie: i’m sorry

tennie: no fuck i should be the one saying sorry  
tennie: it was your secret to keep and i shouldn’t be trying to guilt trip you into anything

kunnie: ten you did nothing wrong

tennie: i kinda did tho  
tennie: i should’ve just waited for you to tell me instead of doing this

kunnie: it’s okay ten  
kunnie: altho you usually hate confrontation with your friends  
kunnie: is everything okay?

tennie: i don’t think i can complain about anything when we have doyoung whose dad is kinda not feeling so good

kunnie: doyoung is going thru it yes  
kunnie: but that doesn’t make you any less valid  
kunnie: what’s going on?

tennie: it’s all stupid stuff you don’t really need to hear about it lol

kunnie: ten...  
kunnie: i listen to xiaohenyang on a daily basis i’m sure that whatever’s bothering you isn’t nearly as stupid as them

tennie: fine  
tennie: i was talking with a classmate and i mentioned that you were my best friend  
tennie: they seemed really shocked that i was friends with someone like you

kunnie: like me?

tennie: mature, has their life together, doesn’t go out to parties every other day, eats 3 meals a day, doesn’t go to sleep at 6 in the morning

kunnie: tennie

tennie: let me finish  
tennie: so that got me thinking that maybe you were just tolerating me and didn’t really think of me in the same way i thought of you  
tennie: and i thought that you didn’t tell me about the parental problem cause i just wasn’t important to you  
tennie: see? i told you it was stupid

kunnie: ten it’s not stupid  
kunnie: i didn’t tell you because i knew that you had your own problems and i didn’t want to worry you  
kunnie: ten, i think the world of you. ever since we met, my best friend and top priority has always been you, and if you don’t realize that, then it means i’m not doing as good a job as i thought i was at showing you how much you mean to me  
kunnie: and yeah, i know that sometimes i can be rude to you but trust me, if i ever had to choose between you and literally anything else on this godforsaken planet, it would always  
kunnie: always  
kunnie: be you  
kunnie: you have been my only choice for the past 20 years  
kunnie: you’re the reason i would pick friendship over love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kun you absolute fucking idiot i'll slaughter you
> 
> why do i say that like i'm not the one making him be stupid
> 
> also i finally got a laptop! can't wait to finally be able to play minecraft and ig be able to write but MINECRAFT  
> aha alexa play numb by cix cause that's what i'm feeling right now ~3~


	6. monday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jwisung: fuckdjflkasdkf
> 
> [jwisung is offline] 
> 
> angel le: miss keisha? miss keisha?
> 
> angel le: oh my fucking god she fucking dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chat names:  
> support system  
> Johnny: youngho  
> Taeyong: taeyong  
> Ten: youngheum  
> Jaehyun: yoonoh
> 
> chem buddies  
> Johnny: johnny  
> Taeyong: taeyong
> 
> 11:11  
> Taeil: princess yue  
> Johnny: johnny appleseed  
> Taeyong: teayong  
> Yuta: yuTA  
> Kun: kung-fu  
> Doyoung: dingdong  
> Ten: number  
> Jaehyun: uknow  
> Sicheng: soupcheng  
> Jungwoo: jungle  
> Yukhei: yukas  
> Mark: markus  
> Xiaojun: of july  
> Kunhang: kun man  
> Renjun: renning  
> Jeno: jenna  
> Donghyuck: hockey hyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemming  
> Yangyang: sheepsheep  
> Chenle: angel le  
> Jisung: jwisung
> 
> greasy  
> Doyoung: hera  
> Jaehyun: Zeus
> 
> johnkun  
> Johnny: johnny  
> Kun: kun
> 
> china line seniors  
> Kun: kunnie  
> Ten: tennie

**support system** **  
** **[Today, 8:44]**

youngheum: _sent an image_  
youngheum: hi my name is ten and i wanna commit not alive anymore  
youngheum: and i feel bad cause doyoung is probably uhhh not feeling so good either

yoonoh: holy shit  
yoonoh: i’ll castrate him idc how good his food is

youngheum: no please don’t

yoonoh: and you are just as relevant as doyoung

**[taeyong is online]**

taeyong: oh god ten

youngheum: i mean it’s fine  
youngheum: at least this way i don’t have to tell him and then get rejected

taeyong: even if you didn’t get rejected  
taeyong: the very fact that you came here means that it hurt

youngheum: it does

taeyong: do you want me to come over to your room when i get back

youngheum: please

taeyong: ofc

**chem buddies** **  
** **[Today, 8:50]**

taeyong: wake your useless ass up  
taeyong: your roommate is dying and you’re sleeping

**[johnny is online]**

johnny: what’s wrong with ten?

johnny: oh  
johnny: oh my god  
johnny: i’ll take care of it 

taeyong: you better

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 11:12]**

**[angel le is online]**

angel le: oh goDDAMN IT

**[jwisung is online]**

jwisung: you were so close

angel le: surprising that taeil has missed it twice

jwisung: yeah i really hope he and doyoung are okay

angel le: i haven’t even known these people for a week but without any of them it feels :////

jwisung: they become part of your life so quickly you can’t defend yourself against them

angel le: i don’t think i want to tho ^^  
angel le: yall are fun

jwisung: fun is one way to say it lmao  
jwisung: fuckdjflkasdkf

**[jwisung is offline]**

angel le: miss keisha? miss keisha?

angel le: oh my fucking god she fucking dead

**greasy** **  
** **[Today, 13:50]**

**[zeus is online]**

zeus: hi doyoungie  
zeus: i know you asked for time in the momo but with a glock gc  
zeus: but i couldn’t catch you before you left  
zeus: so i just wanted to tell you that i’m here for you  
zeus: i can’t say that i’ll ever understand your pain  
zeus: but i’m gonna be there for you every step of the way  
zeus: i don’t care what happens  
zeus: i’ll keep supporting you no matter what  
zeus: i hope you know that  
zeus: i’m gonna go now

zeus: i love you|  
zeus: i love|  
zeus: i l|  
zeus: 

**[zeus is offline]**

**johnkun** **  
** **[Today, 16:44]**

**[kun is online]**

kun: i think i fucked up

**[johnny is online]**

johnny: fucked what up and what makes you think that

kun: _sent an image_  
kun: and after that he didn’t say anything

johnny: quit being a coward dude  
johnny: you’ve spent all this time worrying what if you ruin the friendship  
johnny: if he doesn’t like you back and is truly your best friend then nothing will change  
johnny: but if he does then bam you both are happy

kun: you make it sound so easy  
kun: yet you can’t do the same with taeyong

johnny: don’t change the subject  
johnny: we’re talking about you and ten rn

kun: i know it’s simple but i still just can’t do it  
kun: especially after that last message

johnny: then fuckin talk to him dude  
johnny: explain everything  
johnny: ten is a good guy  
johnny: he’ll understand

kun: 

johnny: literally if you hadn’t sent that last message you could’ve asked him out right then and there

kun: i know  
kun: i just panicked  
kun: i didn’t want to be overbearing

johnny: he literally d o e s n t c a r e  
johnny: you know him  
johnny: if anything he’d love the attention

kun: i know

johnny: if you know then do something with those braincells of yours

kun: but rn the focus should be on doyoung  
kun: i’m pretty sure he’s more important than my stupidity

johnny: if you get together with ten then you will help in making him feel better  
johnny: he loves the both of you with all his heart  
johnny: once he finds out that you two are happy together then at least part of him will be at ease

kun: okay

johnny: okay as in you understand or okay as in you’re finally gonna fucking do something

kun: both

johnny: good  
johnny: i’m rooting for you

kun: thanks  
kun: sorry if i bothered you

johnny: nah  
johnny: i’m happy to help  
johnny: if you’ll excuse me

kun: ofc

**[johnny is offline]**

**china line seniors** **  
** **[Today, 17:01]**

kunnie: hi

**[tennie is online]**

tennie: hi

kunnie: i wanna say sorry for earlier  
kunnie: i was stupid and probably hurt you judging from how you didn’t say anything

tennie: it’s okay  
tennie: i just got caught up in something else and couldn’t reply it’s fine

kunnie: either way i’m sorry  
kunnie: i shouldn’t have said all those misleading things only to say friend at the end  
kunnie: cause the truth is ten  
kunnie: i really fucking like you  
kunnie: i have since 7th grade and i never said anything about it because i was worried that you didn’t feel the same way and i’d ruin our friendship  
kunnie: but i had someone yell at me because i was being stupid and i kind of realized from that experience that i almost never do anything remotely dangerous and that for once  
kunnie: i should take a risk  
kunnie: i understand if you don’t feel the same  
kunnie: i just wanted to tell you

tennie: oh

kunnie: it’s okay if you don’t like me back  
kunnie: i just hope that this won’t change anything between us

tennie: this is anticlimactic lol  
tennie: i like you too

kunnie: !!

tennie: ??

kunnie: oh thank god  
kunnie: you just said oh and i was kinda debating moving to antarctica

tennie: i don’t think you can afford that

kunnie: i’ll sell one of my lungs and all but one of my kidneys

tennie: wouldn’t advise that  
tennie: but who yelled at you

kunnie: he didn’t really yell just like  
kunnie: pretty much called me stupid and a coward  
kunnie: but it was johnny

tennie: so are we uh  
tennie: a thing now?

kunnie: only if you want to be

tennie: i would like that very much

kunnie: (❁´▽`❁)  
kunnie: now that that problem is solved we can focus on doyoungie

tennie: as soon as i see him again i’m going to crush him 

kunnie: preferably we don’t crush anyone

tennie: i do what i want  
tennie: i’m an independent man 

kunnie: yes you are but crushing people is not very nice

tennie: i see your point  
tennie: very well i will not crush doyoung  
tennie: only if you make me food

kunnie: i would’ve made you food either way

tennie: but this way you get something out of it

kunnie: i would’ve gotten the knowledge that you were eating well

tennie: o-O  
tennie: you’re pretty sappy old man

kunnie: i’m regretting it now

tennie: ly

kunnie: ly2

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 18:26]**

**[soupcheng is online]**

soupcheng: chenji are so cute  
soupcheng: gonna adopt both of you  
soupcheng: i can cook for you smh kun feed the children

**[angel le is online]**

angel le: i’m all for that  
angel le: your food is also 134897129487/10

soupcheng: why thank you

angel le: but where would you keep me  
angel le: i don’t think minghao ge would approve of an extra human living in your dorm

soupcheng: he can deal with it  
soupcheng: worst case you guys are gonna live in the closet

angel le: i already am 

soupcheng: what?

angel le: what?

soupcheng: i see

angel le: that i’m icy

**[kung-fu is online]**

kung-fu: i wouldn’t advise adopting anyone when you’re still a junior sicheng

soupcheng: not like you can stop me

kung-fu: i can tho

angel le: no you can’t

kung-fu: sigh

soupcheng: someone has to take care of the children

kung-fu: i just said i wouldn’t feed them if they skipped school  
kung-fu: i never said i just wouldn’t feed them in general 

soupcheng: details  
soupcheng: idc i’m stealing them

angel le: i will go willingly 

soupcheng: great

kung-fu: i’m witnessing a kidnapping

angel le: i’m going of my own free will

kung-fu: if sicheng steals you today then i won’t be able to give you lunch tomorrow

angel le: !!!  
angel le: sorry sicheng we have to put a rain check on our plans

soupcheng: ofc  
soupcheng: until wednesday child

angel le: until wednesday

kung-fu: i’m gonna call the police

angel le: i’m giving my consent

kung-fu: you’re a minor your opinion means nothing in the eyes of the law

angel le: not for long 😎

soupcheng: oh right  
soupcheng: what do you want for your birthday lele?

angel le: to be fed good food  
angel le: i love chunhua but her cooking is kinda 

kung-fu: consider it done

angel le: fuck yeah

soupcheng: anything else?

angel le: not really lmao  
angel le: unless you can get me to graduate seven months early

kung-fu: tough luck kid

angel le: goddamn it

soupcheng: i would just give you money but i don’t think you need it

angel le: yeah keep it you broke college student

soupcheng: thank you for the mercy your highness

angel le: you’re quite welcome 

kung-fu: i can’t believe you’re turning 18 next week 

angel le: i can’t believe i’ve lived for 18 years and haven’t a single s.o

kung-fu: you’ll get there one day

soupcheng: don’t lose hope yet  
soupcheng: you could be like kun  
soupcheng: almost 22 and still not a single one

kung-fu: uh huh  
kung-fu: it could be much worse  
kung-fu: wait

soupcheng: what

kung-fu: nvm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i keep shaking imagine walking in on me rn you'd just see a tiny person having a mental breakdown in the closet haha i'm fine i swear  
> i just had to talk on a zoom and i'm this fucked over i can't even begin to remember what i wrote in this chapter so i can't even comment on it please accept this shitty thing


	7. monday/tuesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> renning: i refuse to be held back by society’s definition of manners and etiquette
> 
> teayong: are you an art student
> 
> renning:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for the beginning of my favorite ship in all of kpop
> 
> Chat names:  
> 11:11  
> Taeil: princess yue  
> Johnny: johnny appleseed  
> Taeyong: teayong  
> Yuta: yuTA  
> Kun: kung-fu  
> Doyoung: dingdong  
> Ten: number  
> Jaehyun: uknow  
> Sicheng: soupcheng  
> Jungwoo: jungle  
> Yukhei: yukas  
> Mark: markus  
> Xiaojun: of july  
> Kunhang: kun man  
> Renjun: renning  
> Jeno: jenna  
> Donghyuck: hockey hyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemming  
> Yangyang: sheepsheep  
> Chenle: angel le  
> Jisung: jwisung 
> 
> momo but with a glock  
> Taeil: iroh  
> Johnny: katara  
> Taeyong: aang  
> Yuta: bumi  
> Kun: zuko  
> Doyoung: toph  
> Ten: sokka  
> Jaehyun: appa  
> Sicheng: azula

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 23:19]**

**[jaemming is online]**

jaemming: the third time 11:11 has passed without me catching it: i can feel the luck that i’ve gathered over the past four years begin to disappear. will there ever come a time where i can catch it again? will the gods of time ever forgive me for missing it so many times? i may never know, i just know that all of the seniors other than kun have forsaken this damned chat

**[teayong, kun man, renning, and one other are online]**

teayong: quit being so dramatic   
teayong: johnny has a few essays that he procrastinated on, yuta has a test tomorrow, ten man idk, taeil idk either, doyoung is with his mom, and i’m just lazy

jaemming: i see   
jaemming: that i’m icy

renning: why do you do that everytime someone says i see

jaemming: cause icy is iconic

hockey hyuck: nothing but facts there

**[number is online]**

**[number is offline]**

teayong: heh??

hockey hyuck: can we get an f in the chat for ten

jaemming: f

kun man: f

teayong: f

renning: f

kun man: he fucking dead

jaemming: i wouldn’t be surprised at this point

teayong: fr

**[number is online]**

number: sorry lol    
number: my phone died for a little bit

renning: damn i thought you fr died   
renning: shame

number: whore

jaemming: renjun let’s be nice to each other

renning: fine

number: omg renjun actually listened to you

kun man: ikr it’s so weird

renning: it’s cause jaemin isn’t nearly as annoying as you guys

jaemming: ( ´ ∀ ` )

hockey hyuck: does he usually not listen to people??

number: not if they’re telling him to stop being an asshole

renning: i refuse to be held back by society’s definition of manners and etiquette

teayong: are you an art student

renning:

kun man: LMAO HE IS

renning: ten’s the one who called me a whore why am i getting scolded

jaemming: ten you shouldn’t call people whores

number: why are you suddenly nice   
number: what happened to the person who was about to throw a brick at mark at that picnic we had in july

hockey hyuck: you wHAT

jaemming: TEN SHUT THE FUCK UP I’LL BURY YOU UNDER THE BEACH VOLLEYBALL COURTS

number: hehe

renning: wow o_o

kun man: wow is the right word

hockey hyuck: jaemin...

jaemming: fuck you ten   
jaemming: genuinely fuck you

number: hehe

hockey hyuck: why the fuck were you about to throw a brick at mark

jaemming: no comment

renning: the vibes are immaculate

jaemming: (˘･ᴗ･˘)

kun man: how does it feel to have passed renjun’s vibe check jaemin

jaemming: pretty damn good

hockey hyuck: na jaemin

jaemming: skrrt

**[jaemming is offline]**

renning: LMAO

teayong: i worry for you all

**Conversation with Jaemin Na** **  
** **[Today, 23:36]**

Ren Jun Huang: why tho 

Jaemin Na: you haven’t been around when they interact but mark and donghyuck have really obvious crushes on each other   
Jaemin Na: and at the picnic mark was basically like ‘yeah donghyuck would be much better off with someone else cause there’s so much shit wrong with me’ and he was being so stupid that i just grabbed whatever was closest 

Ren Jun Huang: a legend

Jaemin Na: why thank you   
Jaemin Na: also question

Ren Jun Huang: shoot

Jaemin Na: who’s dejun dating?

Ren Jun Huang: oh kunhang and yangyang 

Jaemin Na: ∑(‘0‘＠)   
Jaemin Na: they what

Ren Jun Huang: yeah lol    
Ren Jun Huang: getting them together was the hardest thing i’ve ever had to do

Jaemin Na: damn

Ren Jun Huang: how’d you know he was dating someone?

Jaemin Na: before the party jungwoo asked if the bartender was cute and kun said he was taken so

Ren Jun Huang: i see    
Ren Jun Huang: that i’m icy

Jaemin Na: you’re adapting very quickly

Ren Jun Huang: why thank you

**[Ren Jun Huang has changed Ren Jun Huang’s name to renjun]**

**[Jaemin Na has changed renjun’s name to junnie]** **  
** **[Jaemin Na has changed Jaemin Na’s name to minnie]** **  
** **[Jaemin Na has changed the chat name to renmin]**

minnie: ( ˊᵕˋ )

junnie: o///o

minnie: lol    
minnie: weird how i’ve never seen you before tho   
minnie: considering how many times i pass by the art building

junnie: cause i either hide in there or in my dorm

minnie: :// you’re pretty antisocial

junnie: i have enough associates to be comfortable later on   
junnie: i never really entertained the idea of making more friends than i can count on my hands

minnie: well now you have 20!

junnie: (22 if you count jun and minghao)   
junnie: fun...

minnie: ikr aren’t we a blast

junnie: that’s one way to put it

minnie: lmao   
minnie: one day we’ll get you to love us

junnie: try your best

minnie: i certainly will

junnie: oh wait no don’t actually

minnie: too late now ੧| ‾́︶ ‾́ |੭

junnie: oh no

minnie: oh yes

**momo but with a glock** **  
** **[Today, 4:39]**

**[sokka is online]**

sokka: i just realized   
sokka: kun is zuko bc he has daddy issues wtf i’m so goddamn stupid

**[bumi is online]**

bumi: dude go to sleep

sokka: i could say the same for you

bumi: i have stuff to do

sokka: like?

bumi: studying for a test i forgot i had 

sokka: oh my

bumi: yeah see i have a valid excuse   
bumi: go to sleep   
bumi: even taeyong is asleep

sokka: true true   
sokka: okay farewell

**[bumi and sokka are offline]**

**[sokka is online]**

sokka: what if we add sicheng to this chat

**[bumi is online]**

bumi: omfg    
bumi: fine just go to sleep smh

sokka: yay! 

**[bumi (admin) has added Si Cheng Dong to the chat!]**

bumi: now go to sleep

sokka: fine fine fine

**[bumi and sokka are offline]**

**momo but with a glock** **  
** **[Today, 7:17]**

Si Cheng Dong: what the hell?

**[bumi is online]**

bumi: welcome to the world child

Si Cheng Dong: who are you?

bumi: yuta

Si Cheng Dong: oh   
Si Cheng Dong: did you even sleep?

bumi: irrelevant   
bumi: this is a chat with the seniors + you and jaehyun

Si Cheng Dong: why was i added tho?

bumi: ten wanted to add you

Si Cheng Dong: interesting   
Si Cheng Dong: it’s avatar themed?

bumi: yeah you have to change your name

Si Cheng Dong: hmm

**[Si Cheng Dong has changed Si Cheng Dong’s name to azula]**

azula: this is okay right?

bumi: yeah    
bumi: i just realized

azula: ??

bumi: you use a lot of question marks

azula: i’m always confused

bumi: mood

azula: what test are you studying for?

bumi: calc

azula: ew   
azula: what are you even majoring in?

bumi: information security or like cyber security

azula: oh god   
azula: why would you do that to yourself?

bumi: idk   
bumi: at the time it sounded cool but i’ve spent the past four years regretting it

azula: i bet   
azula: i could barely handle the coding in computer class when i was in like grade school

bumi: you took a computer class?

azula: i went to a private school that required it

bumi: damn rich boy

azula: not really tho ://   
azula: our school couldn’t even afford to buy a proper ceiling for the gym/cafeteria/auditorium   
azula: there were less than 150 students and only one hallway 

bumi: i take it back    
bumi: that must’ve sucked

azula: it did   
azula: i had the same practically the same 18 classmates from kindergarten to eighth grade   
azula: the worst part?   
azula: it was a catholic school and i’m atheist

bumi: oh no    
bumi: why would you go there then?

azula: my parents wanted a private school education    
azula: but all the non catholic ones were too expensive for us

bumi: god   
bumi: i would’ve hated going to a private school for one year much less nine

azula: i mean i was close with all my classmates   
azula: but it was kinda hard with the transition to private middle school to public high school 

bumi: you didn’t continue private?

azula: too expensive   
azula: well i got scholarships but private high schools are full of spoiled druggies who have never experienced a day of hardship in their lives   
azula: so i opted for public

bumi: i see

azula: that i’m icy

bumi: **(i can't insert the image for some reason so[here](https://www.emojipng.com/preview/380113) it is)**   
bumi: you’re fitting in so well

azula: i’m glad lol i was told that i was weird in hs   
azula: also is that yoosung from mm?

bumi: you know????

azula: ofc   
azula: as soon as i got my first phone i downloaded it   
azula: probably why everyone thought i was weird lol   
azula: cause what straight boy would play mm?

bumi: there’s always a chance lmao

azula: ehhh not really

bumi: your favorite?

azula: jumin but only for his bad ending

bumi: the cursed bad ending   
bumi: i see what kind of person you are

azula: ;)   
azula: hbu?

bumi: 707   
bumi: that bitch got me into computer shit and hacking

azula: the reset theory made me so sad   
azula: i couldn’t bring myself to play his route till right before i deleted the app

bumi: i played his route everytime 😎   
bumi: it was either his or zen’s but i only did zen’s for the hourglasses and at the very beginning of my playing days

azula: nerd

bumi: hey! 😢

azula: just kidding lol 

bumi: still think we should’ve gotten a vanderwood route

azula: we really should’ve    
azula: cheritz give us vanderwood route and saeran after ending

bumi: yes saeran   
bumi: my boy

azula: we love saeran

bumi: we really do 

azula: oh wait shit

bumi: all for the gram bitches love the gram

azula: lmao   
azula: but no   
azula: you should be studying and i’m distracting you i’m sorry 

bumi: it’s okay 😄    
bumi: i should’ve taken a break anyways

azula: don’t overwork yourself 

bumi: i’ll try

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SM Entertainment, if you don't give us more YuWin content, then I'll swim to Korea and bite off all of your staffs' kneecaps. Don't test me on this. I have been going feral over the lack of content ever since 2018 and I will go wild. Give it to us. Now.


	8. tuesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> markus: this doesn’t sound good
> 
> johnny appleseed: it’s not
> 
> hockey hyuck: oh fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like this whole chapter is an 'oh fuck' moment ngl but we love yuwin
> 
> Chat names:  
> 11:11  
> Taeil: princess yue  
> Johnny: johnny appleseed  
> Taeyong: teayong  
> Yuta: yuTA  
> Kun: kung-fu  
> Doyoung: dingdong  
> Ten: number  
> Jaehyun: uknow  
> Sicheng: soupcheng  
> Jungwoo: jungle  
> Yukhei: yukas  
> Mark: markus  
> Xiaojun: of july  
> Kunhang: kun man  
> Renjun: renning  
> Jeno: jenna  
> Donghyuck: hockey hyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemming  
> Yangyang: sheepsheep  
> Chenle: angel le  
> Jisung: jwisung 
> 
> Sichen??  
> Sicheng: si  
> Chenle: chen 
> 
> cohabitants  
> Sicheng: winwin  
> Minghao: the8

**Conversation with Yuta Nakamoto** **  
** **[Today, 7:35]**

**[Si Cheng Dong has changed Si Cheng Dong’s name to sicheng]** **  
** **[Si Cheng Dong has changed Yuta Nakamoto’s name to yuta]**

sicheng: do you know what’s going on with doyoung and taeil?   
sicheng: i am kind of worried about them

yuta: is chat history not on?

sicheng: no

yuta: oh shit let me just

**momo but with a glock** **  
** **[Today, 7:36]**

**[bumi (admin) has turned chat history on]**

**Conversation with Si Cheng Dong** **  
** **[Today, 7:36]**

yuta: there you go    
yuta: doyoung is toph

sicheng: okay thanks!

yuta: np

sicheng: oh   
sicheng: oh no

yuta: yeah that’s what’s up with doyoung   
yuta: taeil i’m not too sure   
yuta: he just disappeared without saying anything   
yuta: he hasn’t even been at home

sicheng: uh oh   
sicheng: you guys don’t have his location?

yuta: location?

sicheng: it’s an app if you have iphone   
sicheng: find my   
sicheng: but if you didn’t know before then i don’t think you’ll have his location

yuta: oh   
yuta: i see the app   
yuta: damn i should’ve paid more attention

sicheng: why don’t you ask his classmates?   
sicheng: he probably asked them to take notes or something

yuta: true true    
yuta: okay i’ll be right back thanks for the tip 

sicheng: np i hope you find him

yuta: me too

**Conversation with Sehun Oh** **  
** **[Today, 7:40]**

Yuta Nakamoto: hi i’m not sure if you’re awake yet but if you could tell me if you’ve seen Taeil Moon lately that’d be great and if you could ask your sister too that'd be amazing 

**Conversation with Jongin Kim** **  
** **[Today, 7:41]**

Yuta Nakamoto: hi i’m not sure if you’re awake yet but if you could tell me if you’ve seen Taeil Moon lately that’d be great

**Conversation with Jaebum Im** **  
** **[Today, 7:42]**

Yuta Nakamoto: hi i’m not sure if you’re awake yet but if you could tell me if you’ve seen Taeil Moon lately that’d be great

**Conversation with Hyungwon Chae** **  
** **[Today, 7:43]**

Yuta Nakamoto: hi i’m not sure if you’re awake yet but if you could tell me if you’ve seen Taeil Moon lately that’d be great

**Conversation with Hongseok Yang** **  
** **[Today, 7:44]**

Yuta Nakamoto: hi i’m not sure if you’re awake yet but if you could tell me if you’ve seen Taeil Moon lately that’d be great

**Conversation with Hyunjung Kim** **  
** **[Today, 7:45]**

Yuta Nakamoto: hi i’m not sure if you’re awake yet but if you could tell me if you’ve seen Taeil Moon lately that’d be great

**Conversation with Minji Kim** **  
** **[Today, 7:46]**

Yuta Nakamoto: hi i’m not sure if you’re awake yet but if you could tell me if you’ve seen Taeil Moon lately that’d be great

**Conversation with Bora Kim** **  
** **[Today, 7:47]**

Yuta Nakamoto: hi i’m not sure if you’re awake yet but if you could tell me if you’ve seen Taeil Moon lately that’d be great

**Conversation with Sungho Jin** **  
** **[Today, 7:48]**

Yuta Nakamoto: hi i’m not sure if you’re awake yet but if you could tell me if you’ve seen Taeil Moon lately that’d be great

**Conversation with Si Cheng Dong** **  
** **[Today, 7:49]**

yuta: okay so i texted a few of our mutual friends and now we wait for any news

sicheng: this probably isn’t good right?

yuta: oh yeah   
yuta: taeil is huge on communication   
yuta: for him to not tell us something...   
yuta: it’s really weird

sicheng: well when was the last time you saw him?

yuta: monday noon

sicheng: so it’s been almost a day?   
sicheng: was he at your place?

yuta: he was leaving for lunch with his parents

sicheng: hmmm   
sicheng: his name rings a bell i’m gonna be right back

yuta: okay tell me what you find 

sicheng: will do

**sichen??** **  
** **[Today, 7:51]**

si: hey you little gremlin i’ll get you out of school early if you answer me

**[chen is online]**

chen: fucking bet   
chen: what’s up

si: have you ever heard of Taeil Moon?

chen: ain’t that taeil in nct

si: anywhere else?   
si: i can’t shake the feeling that i heard his name before at one of your parties

chen: lol idk i can ask chunhua

si: please

chen: yep

chen: she says his parents are important ceos in korea   
chen: didn’t tell me of what tho   
chen: what’s going on

si: apparently he hasn’t just been missing 11:11 but he’s been missing in general

chen: heh???   
chen: should we call the cops

si: perhaps   
si: idk i’m talking to yuta rn

chen: okay don’t die or get involved with anything sus

si: i’m involved with you   
si: everything is sus

chen: you know what i mean

si: no promises

**Conversation with Yuta Nakamoto** **  
** **[Today, 8:00]**

sicheng: so apparently his parents are bigshots in korea

yuta: uh oh that doesn’t sound good

sicheng: yeah   
sicheng: and if he was going to lunch with his parents   
sicheng: hmm something seems sus

yuta: yeah   
yuta: i might go to the police at this point

sicheng: that might be best   
sicheng: but for now just focus on school   
sicheng: i don’t have any classes today so i’ll see what i can find out

yuta: thanks sicheng   
yuta: you barely even know him but you’re doing all this

sicheng: well he’s one of my friends now isn’t he?   
sicheng: plus he seems pretty important to the rest of you   
sicheng: so ofc i’ll do all i can

yuta: i really mean it tho   
yuta: thank you so much

sicheng: don’t mention it

**sichen??** **  
** **[Today, 8:02]**

si: how does 12 sound?

chen: very cool thank you 

si: np    
si: i’m gonna take you out with me tho

chen: ew errands

si: taeil related errands

chen: nvm   
chen: also is okay if jisung comes

si: if he can get out fine

chen: bet

**cohabitants** **  
** **[Today, 9:04]**

the8: heard from hyungwon that one of your friends was looking for Taeil Moon

winwin: yes

the8: since you’ve kept the room clean and helped me and the family out a lot i’ll tell you what i know

winwin: thanks dude

the8: np   
the8: he’s in korea rn with his parents that are trying to make him take over their family company   
the8: he apparently initially refused but they forced him to go back home to take over the family business   
the8: i doubt that you’re gonna stop at knowing where he is so i’m gonna do this   
the8: i’ll get you a ticket to korea as well as his location and a means to talk to him    
the8: all you have to do is work without pay for around three weeks after you get back

winwin: deal   
winwin: thank you so much

the8: anytime   
the8: i’ll text you once everything is finalized

winwin: okay

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 20:10]**

**[johnny appleseed, kung-fu, and number are online]**

johnny appleseed: hello i have an announcement to make as the honorary dad while taeyong and doyoung are out

kung-fu: i am the bearer of good news tho dw

**[uknow, soupcheng, jungle, and eleven others are online]**

markus: this doesn’t sound good

johnny appleseed: it’s not

hockey hyuck: oh fuck

sheepsheep: kun ge please go first i wanna be happy for once

of july: ^^

kung-fu: me and ten are dating now

markus: omg congratulations

soupcheng: !!!    
soupcheng: this is why you said wait when i called you single?

kung-fu: yes

uknow: congrats!

of july: congratulations!!!!

yukas: never thought that kun would get a man before me

jungle: ikr

jwisung: congratulations

angel le: i’m offended that neither of you told me smh

kun man: fr it’s like all my hard work getting into their good graces has gone to waste

number: kunhang stfu   
number: xiaohenyang literally make it a challenge to see how high you can get our bpms

sheepsheep: it’s hard work!

jenna: lmao   
jenna: but yes congrats to the happy couple!

jaemming: wishing you a lifetime of happiness

kung-fu: you’re making it sound like we got married

renning: i mean your chemistry,,, i wouldn’t be surprised

number: nah nah not yet

soupcheng: yet????

kung-fu: stop talking ten

number: damn

hockey hyuck: finally you guys got over yourselves good god

jungle: you’re not one to talk donghyuck

hockey hyuck: irrelevant

kung-fu: i hate to ruin uhh a sad moment but johnny does have something important

yukas: ah yes forgive us mr appleseed

johnny appleseed: ://   
johnny appleseed: taeil is missing 

jwisung: what

uknow: what

of july: what

kun man: what

markus: what

hockey hyuck: what

jenna: what

jaemming: what

sheepsheep: what

jungle: what

yukas: what

renning: what

soupcheng: wow i didn’t think that yall would announce it here

number: you knew?

soupcheng: yeah i was talking with yuta earlier   
soupcheng: i’m in the middle of finding him rn

johnny appleseed: you can find him?

angel le: sicheng is like the mafia   
angel le: i wouldn’t doubt him

johnny appleseed: noted

kung-fu: chenle you knew too??

angel le: yeah 

markus: waitwaitwaitwait

hockey hyuck: yall are acting like it’s no big deal????

of july: i feel like a missing person would be a bigger deal

jungle: have you gone to the police yet

jaemming: how long has it been?

sheepsheep: oh boy this is not good

johnny appleseed: yesterday he went for lunch with his parents and still hasn’t come back   
johnny appleseed: and no we have not gone to the police yet because yuta told me to wait

soupcheng: you probably shouldn’t need to do anything    
soupcheng: i have a lead already

renning: eh

jenna: already??

angel le: i told you sicheng is like the mafia   
angel le: all he does at parties is network

yukas: you just don’t feel real sicheng

soupcheng: i hope that’s in a good way

kun man: yes and no

johnny appleseed: and you were from a poor school??

soupcheng: my school was poor but the others were very much not so   
soupcheng: i learned early on that it was more than worth it to keep them close

angel le: that’s the only reason he talked to me at first (๑◕︵◕๑)

soupcheng: you know ily

angel le: ofc lol

kung-fu: but what’s the lead and how’d you get it??

soupcheng: secret   
soupcheng: but know that i’ll be leaving for a little bit :))

jwisung: you kind of terrify me

sheepsheep: ^^

of july: i knew there was a reason my instincts told me to not piss off sicheng   
of july: if i did he’d have me dead in a river by the next hour

soupcheng: you’re acting like i’m actually part of the mafia   
soupcheng: i just know a lot of people   
soupcheng: anyways don’t worry about taeil   
soupcheng: i should have him back within two weeks

johnny appleseed: i’m gonna worry anyways but thank you

soupcheng: ofc it’s no problem

**sichen??** **  
** **[Today, 20:24]**

chen: how did you find him?

si: minghao

chen: oh no   
chen: you made a deal with him??

si: you make it sound like i made a deal with the devil   
si: he’s just your cousin

chen: i love minghao ge but there is a reason dad chose him to inherit instead of me    
chen: what were the conditions

si: work without pay for three weeks

chen: oh thank god he went easy

si: i already take care of you whether i get paid or not smh   
si: ig it’s okay cause i love you

chen: love you too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RENJUN'S COVER OF FOOLS IS TRENDING FUCK YEAH RENJUN WORLD DOMINATION I LOVE ONE MAN AND ONE MAN ONLY I WILL LITERALLY SET UP A SHRINE FOR THIS MAN  
> I WILL NEVER DATE ANYONE CAUSE THEY WILL NEVER BE RENJUN
> 
> i'm posting this early cause i'm so happy ^_^ my baby  
> i'll also update in a few hours to somewhat keep my schedule
> 
> after chapter 9 i'll start doing every other day until i catch up with my google doc, so please look forward to more frequent updates!


	9. wednesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> of july: i’m going to beat your ass yang
> 
> sheepsheep: ;) 
> 
> of july: oh my god you’re a fucking nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chat names  
> 11:11  
> Taeil: princess yue  
> Johnny: johnny appleseed  
> Taeyong: teayong  
> Yuta: yuTA  
> Kun: kung-fu  
> Doyoung: dingdong  
> Ten: number  
> Jaehyun: uknow  
> Sicheng: soupcheng  
> Jungwoo: jungle  
> Yukhei: yukas  
> Mark: markus  
> Xiaojun: of july  
> Kunhang: kun man  
> Renjun: renning  
> Jeno: jenna  
> Donghyuck: hockey hyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemming  
> Yangyang: sheepsheep  
> Chenle: angel le  
> Jisung: jwisung
> 
> friends 😄  
> Taeil: taeil  
> Yuta: yuta  
> Kun: kun  
> Doyoung: dongyoung
> 
> young people  
> Yukhei: yukhei  
> Mark: mark  
> Xiaojun: dejun  
> Kunhang: kunhang  
> Renjun: renjun  
> Jeno: jeno  
> Donghyuck: donghyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemin  
> Yangyang: yangyang  
> Chenle: chenle  
> Jisung: jisung

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 11:11]**

**[jwisung is online]**

jwisung: in honor of our fallen soldier Taeil Moon 🙏

**[yuTA, jungle, markus, and five others are online]**

hockey hyuck: 🙏

angel le: 🙏

jungle: 🙏

of july: 🙏

yuTA: 🙏

markus: 🙏

sheepsheep: 🙏

kun man: 🙏

jungle: rip taeil he will be missed

yuTA: yall talking like he’s actually dead

hockey hyuck: you never know

of july: did you have your test yuta

yuTA: yeah

sheepsheep: how’d it go

yuTA: ehhh   
yuTA: i probably got a c or summ

kun man: that’s pretty good for a test that you forgot you had

yuTA: yes yes very true   
yuTA: also i see that we welcomed a new couple to the world   
yuTA: congrats @kung-fu @number

markus: are they the first couple in nct?

of july: nope

hockey hyuck: wait who’s the first??

kun man: oh right lmao we never told you

sheepsheep: me kunhang and dejun   
sheepsheep: we beat kunten by almost a year

jungle: oh wHAT

angel le: shiet it’s been almost a year already??

of july: dang you really forgot about us

angel le: i’m blocking you guys out of my memory

of july: rude

markus: altho i can’t say i’m surprised

sheepsheep: ?

markus: you guys just seem like a package deal   
markus: like when you were first introduced all three of you went ‘oh god it’s ten’ at the same time   
markus: and then when kunten made their announcement ten said xiaohenyang as like a ship name    
markus: it might’ve been me reading too much into it but idk it was sus to me 

kun man: wow mark has brain cells

jwisung: debatable 

angel le: debatable

hockey hyuck: chenji are also kinda sus

angel le: dude we literally met like less than a week ago

jwisung: ^^

jungle: you guys go to the same school but have never met in all four years of high school??

angel le: i transferred here in october

jungle: ohhh

yuTA: that’s when sicheng got here too

angel le: he’s really close with my family and they make him follow me around   
angel le: plus basically all of china line are transfers

hockey hyuck: sketchy   
hockey hyuck: i really feel like you two are part of the mafia

angel le: （￣へ￣）   
angel le: i’m not 

markus: what about sicheng tho   
markus: like he found taeil with no problem

angel le: he’s not dude   
angel le: only LIKE the mafia

of july: everyone who goes to a private school ends up fucked up in some way

kun man: coughcoughtencoughcoughcough

sheepsheep: frfr

jungle: ew ten went to a private school

jwisung: he mentioned it before i’m pretty sure

kun man: it was only for a year   
kun man: but any time spent at a private school is sure to fuck you up

yuTA: wait where did you even transfer from chenle

angel le: confidential ( *¯ ³¯*)

hockey hyuck: you’re just giving me more reason to think you’re part of the mafia

angel le: LMAO   
angel le: i’ll tell you guys eventually dw

markus: someone ss that   
markus: we need receipts and i’m out of storage

jungle: gotchu

angel le: goddamn it

sheepsheep: shouldn’t have said it if you didn’t mean it

angel le: it was an empty gesture smh 

jwisung: gonna have to tell us at one point

angel le: that sign can’t stop me because i can’t read

of july: i remember teaching you how to read.... good times

kun man: that makes you sound so old 

sheepsheep: he is

of july: i’m going to beat your ass yang

sheepsheep: ;) 

of july: oh my god you’re a fucking nightmare

sheepsheep: if you also thought of it then you are also a nightmare   
sheepsheep: don’t blame this all on me 

hockey hyuck: dejun you what

of july: we’ve been close our entire lives and le’s parents were kinda funky so i had to teach him

markus: funky lol

kun man: i mean that’s the polite way of saying it    
kun man: don’t quite fancy getting my head bludgeoned by the bourgeoisie

jungle: eat the rich

angel le: oop

jwisung: while i am all for eating the rich i don’t think we should eat chenle

jungle: just his family then

hockey hyuck: the french had the right idea

angel le: feeling kind of threatened

sheepsheep: dw we’ll protect you lele

angel le: that just makes it even worse

sheepsheep: rude

markus: i have a feeling he’s not wrong tho

of july: he isn’t but he should be   
of july: we gotta step up our game boys

jwisung: chenle has his own bodyguard squad??

angel le: nah nah they’re just family friends that are very weird

kun man: i take that as a personal offense

angel le: good

**Conversation with Yuta Nakamoto**   
**[Today, 11:35]**

yuta: your flight leaves soon, right?   
yuta: stay safe

**[sicheng is online]**

sicheng: i will    
sicheng: don’t worry   
sicheng: i’ll get us both back in one piece

yuta: i wish i could go with you    
yuta: or just someone else   
yuta: i don’t like that you’re going alone

sicheng: yuta i’ll be fine lmao   
sicheng: this isn’t my first time flying alone

yuta: grr   
yuta: ik but i’m worried

sicheng: you really don’t have to be

yuta: you’re going this far out of your way for someone that you’ve known for less than a week 

sicheng: it doesn’t matter how long i’ve known him    
sicheng: he’s still one of my friends    
sicheng: i’m more than willing to do anything for a friend

yuta: you’re too nice

sicheng: only for some people   
sicheng: if we hadn’t met in person friday night and had a three hour long conversation then i wouldn’t have cared at all

yuta: our conversation was only half an hour long would you save me if i was missing

sicheng: perhaps

yuta: :////

sicheng: i’m kidding   
sicheng: i would

yuta: 😄

sicheng: i have to put my phone on airplane mode now   
sicheng: i’ll text you when i land okay?

yuta: okay   
yuta: don’t die

sicheng: i’ll certainly try    
sicheng: bye 

yuta: byee

**[sicheng is offline]**

**friends 😄** **  
** **[Today, 11:45]**

yuta: you guys think it’s bad that i’m catching feels for someone within a week of knowing them

**[kun is online]**

kun: we’re the only two in this chat who haven’t fucking died smh   
kun: but perhaps?

yuta: grr   
yuta: i’ve only seen him once in person   
yuta: but he’s so nice    
yuta: he cares so much about his friends and he’s so fun to talk to and whenever i see any message from him my heart goes 📈📈📈

kun: and you’ve only known him for a week

yuta: less than a week

kun: and you’ve only seen him once

yuta: yes

kun: it might be kinda fast

yuta: i thought so

kun: but you also haven’t caught feels for anyone since jeonghan and that was back in freshman year of high school   
kun: so i think i can excuse you this once

yuta: my heart belongs to 707, saeran, nakahara chuuya, and the entire cast of hq what can i say

kun: weeb

yuta: i am quite literally japanese and cannot be a weeb

kun: weeb

yuta: ://

kun: do i know this person

yuta: mayhaps

kun: very helpful

yuta: yes

kun: am i allowed to know who it is

yuta: not quite yet

kun: okay   
kun: just don’t get hurt ig

yuta: i will try my hardest but no promises

kun: i’m rooting for you

yuta: why thank you   
yuta: also a very large congratulations on your marriage

kun: marriage...??   
kun: we’re not married ffs 

yuta: not yet

kun: it’s been two days i don’t think that we’re getting married anytime soon

yuta: you don’t know that

kun: please leave me alone

yuta: no

kun: why

yuta: just because

kun: you’re kind of annoying

yuta: but you love me

kun: very very very debatable 

yuta: i’m hurt

kun: good

**young people** **  
** **[Today, 15:17]**

**[yukhei, mark, dejun, and one other are online]**

mark: can one of you please tell me why ms b is screaming profanities in the gen ed building   
mark: i know you guys are at fault

dejun: now mark you have no way of confirming that

mark: shut up dejun i saw yukhei’s bright fucking turquoise hair just as he turned the corner

yukhei: you got me there

mark: it looked good when you first got it but you really stand out too much dude

yukhei: yeah ik i’m gonna get it changed soon

kunhang: let’s stay calm now markie boy

mark: what did you even do

dejun: let’s say that ms b now has two newly dyed sheep plushies

mark: oh my fucking god   
mark: you guys are gonna get slaughtered

yukhei: that’s why we’re running   
yukhei: did you have a class now

mark: no i came to drop off my roommates dance bag

dejun: chan lee the G O A T

kunhang: i have never seen someone with so much talent

**[yangyang is online]**

yangyang: we love chan   
yangyang: am i a carat? yes

mark: aren’t we all   
mark: jihoon possesses so much musical sense that it’s terrifying

yukhei: cause it’s all condensed

dejun: damn you did him like that

yangyang: random but   
yangyang: we should get together sometime   
yangyang: like the seniors live together, jaehyun and jungwoo are roommates, and sicheng’s dorm building is right next to theirs   
yangyang: but we haven’t seen each other since the party

kunhang: yes i’m down 

yukhei: me too

dejun: me three altho i already see yukhei and kunhang a bit too much for my liking

kunhang: whore

dejun: your whore

kunhang: damn straight

yukhei: neither of you are straight

yangyang: their dicks are

mark: and this is where i replace my eyedrops with bleach   
mark: google how to unsee something

dejun: you love us

mark: unfortunately   
mark: but yes i would also like to see you guys again for some reason

yukhei: damn

yangyang: alright so it’s settled

kunhang: what about the other six

yangyang: i do not wait for their opinion because they do not matter

dejun: kinda rude

yangyang: you love me anyway

dejun: do i

yangyang: （¬＿¬)

dejun: ig i do

mark: wow a relationship

yukhei: i’m told that you could be in one too if you weren’t fuckin stupid

mark: suddenly i’m helen keller

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i miss yuwin... so much... 
> 
> also i'm trying to download valorant but it won't let me download without making a riot account first, but whenever i press the button to sign up it takes me to a blank page. any ideas?


	10. thursday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jwisung: whatchu want?
> 
> angel le: hashbrown 
> 
> kung-fu: you have to eat healthier than just a hashbrown
> 
> angel le: two hashbrowns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chat names:  
> 11:11  
> Taeil: princess yue  
> Johnny: johnny appleseed  
> Taeyong: teayong  
> Yuta: yuTA  
> Kun: kung-fu  
> Doyoung: dingdong  
> Ten: number  
> Jaehyun: uknow  
> Sicheng: soupcheng  
> Jungwoo: jungle  
> Yukhei: yukas  
> Mark: markus  
> Xiaojun: of july  
> Kunhang: kun man  
> Renjun: renning  
> Jeno: jenna  
> Donghyuck: hockey hyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemming  
> Yangyang: sheepsheep  
> Chenle: angel le  
> Jisung: jwisung

**Conversation with Yuta Nakamoto** **  
** **[Today, 2:08]**

**[sicheng is online]** **  
** **[sicheng has changed the chat name to yucheng]**

sicheng: i landed now :)   
sicheng: hopefully you’re asleep

**[yuta is online]**

sicheng: ofc you’re not

yuta: i was worried!

sicheng: stop worrying!   
sicheng: i’m fine! now sleep!

yuta: but now you’re here   
yuta: why would i sleep when i could talk to you

sicheng: yuta please   
sicheng: just get some rest   
sicheng: i’ll text you at like 8 in your time zone

yuta: fine fine fine   
yuta: good night? good afternoon?

sicheng: good night kiddo

yuta: i’m older than you

sicheng: then act like it   
sicheng: jkjk don’t get sad please   
sicheng: i’ll tell you all developments

yuta: thanks    
yuta: bye

sicheng: good night ^^

**[yuta and sicheng are offline]**

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 7:45]**

**[angel le is online]**

angel le: call out post for park jisung   
angel le: fake ass motherfucker

**[kung-fu, jenna, and jwisung are online]**

jwisung: what did i do???

angel le: you know what you did   
angel le: or rather   
angel le: what you didn’t do

kung-fu: it’s not nice to call people motherfuckers

angel le: he deserves it

jenna: jisung what did you do

jwisung: idk???

angel le: bitch    
angel le: you told me that you would send me the calc hw last night   
angel le: and guess who never did   
angel le: and guess who had to finish it instead of eating my cousin’s breakfast because he has calc first period on even days   
angel le: and guess whose cousin’s food is on the same level if not better than kun’s

jwisung: fuck   
jwisung: i’m so sorry lele

angel le: it’s okay now but dude he came over at 6 to make me food bc chunhua went back to china and i feel so bad that i couldn’t eat anything

jwisung: lele i’m actually so sorry   
jwisung: i won’t give excuses because i don’t have any    
jwisung: i’m so sorry

angel le: it’s okay   
angel le: i just feel really bad bc he’s struggling enough with just college but now he has to take care of me bc sicheng is out of the country and neither of my parents trust me at home alone and my other cousins are busy and can’t help   
angel le: it’s not even your fault i should’ve done it before   
angel le: grrrr i hate this i hope sicheng comes back soon

kung-fu: we all do kid

jenna: you’ll be okay chenle!   
jenna: he said he only needed like two weeks right?   
jenna: if your parents are okay with it i could come cook sometimes too

angel le: idk    
angel le: i think they’re only okay with people they know coming   
angel le: and like they know kun ge and ten and the china line    
angel le: but i hate imposing on people   
angel le: i’m already on the verge of sending jun back to his dorm

kung-fu: last i checked jun’s not your cousin???

angel le: i call him that bc it’s shorter than cousin’s friend who’s a boy who likes him and has his love reciprocated but neither of them are allowed to date each other bc their parents are homophobic

jwisung: oh my   
jwisung: i’m still so sorry lele

angel le: i t s o k a y   
angel le: say sorry one more time and i’ll cut off the bottom half of your legs 

jwisung: please don’t i need all the height i can get

jenna: no you’re too tall jisung   
jenna: chenle do it

angel le: i’m gonna do it

kung-fu: please do not cut off jisung’s legs

angel le: it’s only the bottom half of his legs

kung-fu: that’s not any more reassuring

jwisung: help i just said sorry

angel le: oh my god you said it    
angel le: say goodbye to your shins

jwisung: no please   
jwisung: i have a family

angel le: not for long

jwisung: What

angel le: What

jenna: the longer i know chenle the less i think that he deserves his screen name

kung-fu: i’ve been thinking that ever since he could move

angel le: it’s a gift

jwisung: i’d say it’s a curse but you do you

angel le: you just don’t appreciate me

jenna: we appreciate you   
jenna: your goblinesqueness? not so much

angel le: it’s a sophisticated taste

kung-fu: not really but okay

jwisung: but i mean unless we can think of another pun i don’t think we can change his name

angel le: haha suck it losers

jenna: you’re gonna regret saying that   
jenna: i will summon the spirit of all the dads in the world 

angel le: i await your ideas

jenna: all the dads have failed me 

angel le: i thought so

jenna: your name is hard dude

angel le: ik lol 

jwisung: chenlay

kung-fu: the two most powerful members of exo

jenna: that’s subjective

kung-fu: yeah ik i regretted it as soon as i sent it

angel le: i am also very powerful tho

jwisung: you’re tiny

jenna: and a baby

kung-fu: and noodle arms

angel le: in terms of my bank account i outrank all of you

kung-fu: very true

jenna: silver spoon baby

angel le: hush

jwisung: you’re probably like 10’ standing on your money ngl

angel le: i am thank you for noticing   
angel le: altho it’s all family money lmao

jwisung: still better than most of us   
jwisung: both me and my family are broke lmao

angel le: i can be your sugar daddy jisung ;)

jenna: 

kung-fu: WOAH let’s calm down a bit

jwisung: hmmmm   
jwisung: i’m not entirely opposed    
jwisung: but you’re turning 18 soon and that would be: illegal

angel le: that’s true   
angel le: then i’ll just pay you lmao

jwisung: nah don’t want that   
jwisung: i turn 18 in like three months so i can wait

jenna: wtf is going on

jwisung: i’m getting a sugar daddy that’s what’s going on

kung-fu: oh my god   
kung-fu: i don’t even know what to feel rn

jenna: same   
jenna: you guys are both 17 chilllll

angel le: lmao   
angel le: wait i just realized that sicheng is gonna be gone for my birthday :(

kung-fu: oh fuck that’s true

jenna: when is your birthday 

angel le: november 22   
angel le: next friday

jenna: oh

jwisung: we’re gonna hope he meant two weeks at the most

angel le: ^^

kung-fu: don’t you two have class why are you on your phones

angel le: sub is taking attendance

jwisung: free period   
jwisung: don’t you also have class

kung-fu: it hasn’t started yet

jenna: same for me

angel le: jisung you have a free period???

jwisung: yeah i don’t have a second period

angel le: lucky    
angel le: are you at school?

jwisung: nah i’m at the library with taehyun and samuel

angel le: you wanna get me mcdonalds i’ll pay you back

jwisung: whatchu want?

angel le: hashbrown 

kung-fu: you have to eat healthier than just a hashbrown

angel le: two hashbrowns

kung-fu: :///

jwisung: okay   
jwisung: should i go drop it off

angel le: nah i’ll sneak out thank you

kung-fu: :///////////////////

angel le: :)

kung-fu: i don’t condone this

jwisung: very convenient that i don’t care then

jenna: oop

angel le: damn   
angel le: jisung did you like that are you just gonna take it 

kung-fu: yes because i’m lazy

jenna: wow

jwisung: hehe

angel le: do you want cash or should i venmo you

jwisung: idrc i don’t even need you to pay me

angel le: !!!

jwisung: i never make anyone pay me back for food

jenna: you’re such a nice person jisung

angel le: i’m gonna pay you anyways

jwisung: grr no

angel le: yes

jwisung: no

angel le: yes

jwisung: no

angel le: yes

jwisung: if you give me money i’m just gonna put it back in your backpack

angel le: then i’ll find it and give it back

kung-fu: jisung just let him give you the money   
kung-fu: you’re not gonna win

jwisung: no 

angel le: i’m doing it whether you like it or not

jwisung: that’s not cash money of you

angel le: just take it

jwisung: you’re a friend and i will take care of you for free   
jwisung: i’m the reason you didn’t eat this morning anyway

angel le: grrr i hate you

jwisung: ://

angel le: jk i strongly dislike you at this moment

jwisung: :)

kung-fu: i’m gonna quote donghyuck   
kung-fu:  _ hockey hyuck: chenji are also kinda sus {wednesday, 11:20 AM} _

jenna: seconded

jwisung: chenle gonna catch a case

angel le: frfr leave us alone   
angel le: class is also finally starting so i must go   
angel le: thank you jisungie

jwisung: np

kung-fu: good luck with class chenle

angel le: thanks i have no clue what i’m doing

jenna: mood

jwisung: mood

kung-fu: ...good luck lele

angel le: :)

**[angel le is offline]**

jwisung: what about you two when do your classes start

jenna: too soon for my liking

kung-fu: mine was supposed to start like five minutes ago but the professor isn’t here yet   
kung-fu: i spoke too soon

jwisung: good luck kun

kung-fu: thanks stay safe children

jenna: bye bye

kung-fu: bye

**[kung-fu is offline]**

jwisung: and then there were two

jenna: you know i have to go soon too

jwisung: goddamn it

jenna: just talk to taehyun and samuel

jwisung: they’re doing homework for a class that i took last year

jenna: then help them

jwisung: they don’t need help   
jwisung: it’s just ap psych that class is a fucking joke

jenna: they actually do hw for psych

jwisung: their parents monitor everything

jenna: ew that’s so nasty   
jenna: we hate helicopters

jwisung: frfr i feel kinda bad for them   
jwisung: taehyun says that his parents are forcing him to go to either gmu or nova so he can stay at home

jenna: that’s so fucked up    
jenna: he’s almost 18 let him make his own choices

jwisung: samuel is going to nova only so he can save up enough money to get him and doyoung out of there as soon as he can

jenna: damn   
jenna: i feel so bad for kids with parents like that   
jenna: like samuel isn’t even 18 yet but he has to take care of both himself and doyoung

jwisung: ik   
jwisung: maybe chenle should be his sugar daddy instead of mine

jenna: JISUNG

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've had star 1117 stuck in my head for the past week  
> not that i'm complaining  
> looking for star looking for love


	11. friday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kun man: @of july @sheepsheep how do you feel about necromancy
> 
> of july: yes
> 
> sheepsheep: yes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I even gonna bother with the chat names... nah yall know who's who by now

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 11:11]**

**[dingdong is online]**

dingdong: 🙏

**[johnny appleseed, teayong, yuTA, and sixteen others are online]**

teayong: OMG DOYOUNGIE  
teayong: 🙏

of july: 🙏

soupcheng: 🙏

hockey hyuck: 🙏  
hockey hyuck: welcome back legend

sheepsheep: 🙏

jaemming: 🙏

yuTA: 🙏  
yuTA: i love you doyoung

angel le: 🙏

kung-fu: 🙏  
kung-fu: it’s good to see you again

johnny appleseed: 🙏

markus: 🙏

yukas: 🙏

uknow: 🙏  
uknow: we missed you doyoungie

number: 🙏

kun man: 🙏

jwisung: 🙏  
jwisung: doyoung Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ

jungle: 🙏

jenna: 🙏  
jenna: ＼(*T▽T*)／ we missed you sm

renning: 🙏

teayong: almost full attendance 

jaemming: rest in peace taeil

dingdong: what happened to taeil?  
dingdong: i still have to read thru everything  
dingdong: you guys talked a lot

johnny appleseed: he’s actually uh  
johnny appleseed: i wouldn’t say missing since sicheng knows where he is 

yuTA: he’s just inactive  
yuTA: sicheng how has it been?

soupcheng: ehhhh  
soupcheng: i might need all two weeks ngl

dingdong: taeil’s missing?????

yukas: if you want good news then ten and kun ge got together!

dingdong: what????  
dingdong: oh god  
dingdong: i really missed so much

uknow: are you feeling better?

dingdong: a little bit  
dingdong: enough

renning: take your time  
renning: you don’t need to rush to come back

dingdong: thank you  
dingdong: we haven’t even met irl yet

renning: doesn’t matter  
renning: i’m part of the group and so are you  
renning: do i need any other reason to care?

sheepsheep: am i allowed to ask about how your dad is doing?

dingdong: oh

sheepsheep: you don’t have to answer if you’re not comfy!

jenna: he’s right  
jenna: only do what you’re comfortable with

dingdong: actually um  
dingdong: he died

sheepsheep: oh my god i’m so sorry

dingdong: no you’re good  
dingdong: i would’ve announced it eventually

angel le: you don’t have to push yourself doyoung  
angel le: we just want to help you

dingdong: thank you

jwisung: no need to thank us  
jwisung: we’re just doing what we should as your friends :)

kun man: @of july @sheepsheep how do you feel about necromancy

of july: yes

sheepsheep: yes

number: no

kung-fu: no

dingdong: i appreciate the gesture but it’s okay

kun man: okay our plans have been canceled

sheepsheep: ┐(´∇｀)┌

of july: the offer will always stand

dingdong: i think i’ll be okay without it but thank you

kun man: anytime sir doyoung

dingdong: should we not be more worried about taeil?

markus: eh sicheng has it handled

soupcheng: don’t put too much trust in me

yuTA: too late

soupcheng: Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑)  
soupcheng: i don’t like that you guys now have expectations of me

dingdong: where are you?

soupcheng: hmm  
soupcheng: it should be fine to tell you guys  
soupcheng: i’m in korea rn

jaemming: !!!

yuTA: i knew you had to fly somewhere i just didn’t think it’d be that far...

soupcheng: sorry :(

teayong: what are you doing in korea?

soupcheng: hmmm  
soupcheng: negotiating

johnny appleseed: ominous

soupcheng: if i can get these fucking conservatives to change their minds then it would be fine

number: i’m guessing it’s not that easy

soupcheng: ofc not  
soupcheng: also lol did you guys know that taeil has a little brother?

jwisung: seriously??

dingdong: i don’t think that any of us knew that

soupcheng: there’s two of them actually

jungle: oh  
jungle: what’re their names?

soupcheng: the older one is bin but most people call him moonbin  
soupcheng: the younger one is jehyun

angel le: are they important to negotiations?

soupcheng: yes  
soupcheng: very important  
soupcheng: well bin is

markus: how so?

soupcheng: if i can convince the parents to let bin take over the family business, then taeil will be free to do what he wants, especially since bin has always wanted to take over and taeil has wanted nothing to do with it  
soupcheng: but the parents are very biased towards taeil even tho bin is much better in the business aspect than taeil is

hockey hyuck: that’s bs  
hockey hyuck: it should depend on skills  
hockey hyuck: stupid conservatives

soupcheng: i’m trying to get them to see it from an objective view but it hasn’t really been going too well  
soupcheng: i might need to get in touch with chenle’s parents if they absolutely will not change their minds

angel le: please do  
angel le: you know they love you

soupcheng: yeah but if i ask for more favors then i might be working the next six months without pay

dingdong: you have a job?

soupcheng: yeah i work for chenle’s family  
soupcheng: but it’s 12:30 am for me rn and i have to meet up with bin at 7, so i’m gonna go to sleep now  
soupcheng: welcome back doyoung :) don’t stress out too much

dingdong: i’ll try

yuTA: bye sichengie

kung-fu: good night

teayong: sleep well

renning: good luck tomorrow 

soupcheng: thanks guys

**[soupcheng is offline]**

johnny appleseed: so  
johnny appleseed: taeil is the heir of a company and his parents want him to take over  
johnny appleseed: that’s it right?

angel le: pretty much

jwisung: the world of the rich is too complicated for me

number: taeil didn’t even tell us he was rich  
number: fake

jungle: if you didn’t think it was sus that he had no student debt then you’re just stupid

number: f u

uknow: but doyoung we’re all really glad that you’re back

dingdong: thank you  
dingdong: it took me a while but i finally was able to process it

teayong: it’s fine if it took you a little bit  
teayong: it was pretty sudden

dingdong: yeah i never would’ve seen it coming

sheepsheep: you know the sixth stage of grief is a boss battle against god

dingdong: i don’t think i could win that O_O

of july: that’s why we’re here to help!

kun man: yukhei makes a great forward attacker

yukas: i do not fear god i will be a tremendous addition to the team

kung-fu: how about we don’t fight god

sheepsheep: it’s just part of the stages of grief

markus: in a fight against god would the saints be on his side??

of july: i’m pretty sure that if you fought god you’d have get past the saints the angels and then god himself

hockey hyuck: but what about jesus and the holy spirit  
hockey hyuck: where do they fit into this

jenna: i’m pretty sure you’d fight them along with god cause they’re technically the same person

renning: so it would be 21 humans against 3 gods?

markus: no there’s only 1 god but three people  
markus: like fucking voltron

renning: ohh

kung-fu: i’m gonna repeat myself  
kung-fu: how about we don’t fight god

dingdong: idk it sure seems like it could relieve a lot of stress and anger

uknow: we’re fighting god kun

kung-fu: uh

teayong: kids let’s not fight god right now even if it is part of doyoung’s recovery

angel le: wait would i be on the human side or the angel side

jwisung: lele you’re a demon you’d be watching from the sidelines as we get our asses kicked

yuTA: lmao 

uknow: we’re fighting god taeyong  
uknow: if doyoung says so then we fight god

teayong: ik that  
teayong: i just meant let’s not do it right now bc we’re down a person

uknow: oh whoops

yukas: i call the first one to go attack

johnny appleseed: i don’t think we can win against god tho

kun man: you never know  
kun man: i bet that you and yukhei are the same height as him  
kun man: fucking giants

hockey hyuck: god doesn’t have a physical body??

jaemming: what about those fucking uhhh jeez its

markus: the what

jaemming: the circles that the grimey old men give you to eat

kung-fu: jeez its-

renning: i’m not even religious but i know that they’re not called jeez its

kun man: anyways isn’t that a physical body  
kun man: the old men are always saying that that’s jesus so if jesus is 1/3 of voltron then god’s physical body is just 3 of those

johnny appleseed: that’s not really how it works--

sheepsheep: it seems logical to me

markus: they're 3 different people not like clones of each other  
markus: their bodies are different

kun man: oh  
kun man: we tried

sheepsheep: we certainly did

renning: i bet if we tried hard enough we could win

johnny appleseed: i don’t think so

hockey hyuck: nah you gotta have some faith in us johnny

jungle: if we get hyuck to smile at them they could be blinded  
jungle: then xiaohenyang and chenle could idk scream and all three would go deaf at the same time  
jungle: we’d get a pretty good advantage then

markus: does god even have senses  
markus: cause like  
markus: he ain’t physical

hockey hyuck: true  
hockey hyuck: we’d be fighting in a spiritual realm

jenna: we don’t even know what our spirits look like

jaemming: i bet that we could just make it look like whatever we want

sheepsheep: i want my spirit to have three eyes

number: why

sheepsheep: why not

of july: i want my spirit to be at least 6 feet tall

renning: you’re never gonna be 6 feet tall

of july: neither are you

renning: and i’ve accepted it  
renning: have you?

of july: you’re annoying

johnny appleseed: wouldn’t your spirit just be a reflection of who you are on the inside

kun man: on the inside i am pulsing red flesh  
kun man: i don’t want my spirit to look like that

dingdong: that description made me uncomfy

kun man: sorry 

dingdong: nah it’s just  
dingdong: muscle  
dingdong: would our spirits just look like the fucking colossal titan then??

johnny appleseed: i regret saying anything

teayong: i think he meant your personality traits  
teayong: like maybe jungwoo would look like a puppy or something

jungle: fURSONA??????

sheepsheep: our spirits are furries?????  
sheepsheep: i don’t wanna fight god looking like a fucking sheep

teayong: i’m just gonna stop talking now

markus: good choice

kung-fu: as much as i love you guys i don’t think you’re winning in a fight against god 

dingdong: what if it turns out that god doesn’t exist

of july: nah god exists the science doesn’t lie

yuTA: i thought you didn’t believe in god?

of july: i know he exists i just don’t care

yuTA: i see

yukas: that i’m icy

teayong: are we just ignoring the fact that jaemin called the priests grimey old men

hockey hyuck: that’s what i’m doing

markus: that’s what i’m doing

hockey hyuck: ayyy

markus: 👉😏👉  
markus: they should add finger gun emojis

hockey hyuck: fr

jenna: 👀

jaemming: they are grimey old men!!  
jaemming: you can’t tell me i’m wrong

johnny appleseed: more like we’re too lazy to say anything

jaemming: either way i win

kung-fu: right  
kung-fu: go ahead and believe that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This whole Yuta thing,,, I used to want Yuta to apologize (although I didn't really see much wrong) but with all the new information that we're getting, it should be the youtuber apologizing. From what we know, he just met the bastard and probably didn't have the time to go through everything. I don't think Yuta is at fault, and from what I'm seeing, kfans have died down a little. I hope SM lets him release a statement. 
> 
> Also lol I'm gonna work on this only when I want to from now on cause Uhhhhh NoRenMin  
> Just NoRenMin  
> surely yall can understand my priorities sorry lol


	12. friday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yangyang: stupid ass
> 
> kunhang: fuck you
> 
> yangyang: you already do
> 
> kunhang: and i do a damn good job of it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry i'm too lazy to put the chat names  
> i think you'll be able to figure it out? no promises

**young people** **  
** **[Today, 14:35]**

**[chenle and jisung are online]**

jisung: me and le are here   
jisung: wya

**[yukhei is online]**

yukhei: which entrance are you guys at?

chenle: the one right next to amc

yukhei: we’re in barnes and noble    
yukhei: i would come meet you guys but i have no clue what the layout of this place is

jisung: it’s okay i can take him   
jisung: i know tysons like the back of my hand

chenle: who’s here so far

yukhei: everyone except xiaohenyang

jisung: renjun didn’t leave with yangyang?

yukhei: nah he wanted to leave with dejun and kunhang   
yukhei: they’re on the way rn tho

jisung: which floor are you guys on

yukhei: there’s more than one?????

jisung: yes there’s 2

yukhei: the upper one ig??   
yukhei: we’re in the manga section if that helps

jisung: yes that does help thank you

chenle: lol why are you in the manga section

yukhei: cause we’re all weebs and simps for hak and jae ha

jisung: same

chenle: lmao   
chenle: are we late?

yukhei: nah me and renjun just got here   
yukhei: feel like a sixth wheel tho

chenle: ?

yukhei: for some reason renjun jeno and jaemin are vv close   
yukhei: and i finally get to see markhyuck irl

jisung: are they as disgusting as you were told

yukhei: even worse

chenle: ew

yukhei: i swear if i ever get an s/o then i’ll make them suffer

jisung: you’re a good person and pretty damn good looking   
jisung: you’ll get there eventually

yukhei: thanks dude

chenle: i bet i could set you up with someone 

yukhei: why do i not feel safe

chenle: you shouldn’t

yukhei: oh god 

jisung: you brought this upon yourself 

yukhei: no please

chenle: yes please

jisung: rip yukhei

yukhei: fUCKGHALDGIJSDFGHADFGADKSFJALSKDJFA

chenle: lol and i’ll do it again bap bap

jisung: the people around us just shot us the dirtiest look possible

**[dejun, kunhang, and yangyang are online]**

yangyang: yukhei you good??

yukhei: chenle just snuck up from behind the bookshelf and scared the everliving shit out of me

kunhang: lmao

dejun: we’re on our way down

jisung: do you guys know where to go?

dejun: we can figure it out

kunhang: we’ll just ask around lol   
kunhang: wait nvm there’s a map

yangyang: stupid ass

kunhang: fuck you

yangyang: you already do

kunhang: and i do a damn good job of it

dejun: there’s no lie there

jisung: i’m still a child please

chenle: i would like to call god and get the last minute of my life back

yukhei: i’m used to this   
yukhei: but i wish i wasn’t

jisung: you shouldn’t be

chenle: yall are NASTY

yangyang: you know you love us

yukhei: do we now   
yukhei: this is news to me

jisung: i might love you if you stop being disgusting

kunhang: it’s okay jisung one day you’ll get someone who you can do this with too

jisung: i would rather never do THAT thank you very much

chenle: i’m pretty sure there is not another person on earth who would like to do what you guys do

dejun: yall just jealous

yukhei: of what   
yukhei: certainly not of the numerous sexual jokes you guys make

yangyang: hoes mad

kunhang: stay mad

chenle: i actually hate you guys

dejun: hate you too

jisung: oh hello how did you know where the manga section is

kunhang: we actually have a tracker on you guys

yukhei: you three are actually so fuckin weird

chenle: i would rather not be tracked ://

yangyang: sucks we don’t care

chenle: ://////////////////////////

jisung: yall see that look jaemin is giving us lmao he thinks we’re insane

dejun: i mean he could join the convo too if he wasn’t a coward

yukhei: i wish i wasn’t in this convo ngl

chenle: it was okay but then   
chenle: why did you have to do that yang

yangyang: it was a necessity

jisung: ehhh

kunhang: perhaps

yangyang: lol sorry

chenle: sigh

jisung: sigh

yukhei: are we just gonna stay in barnes and noble the entire time

jisung: we can go anywhere you like    
jisung: since the weebs are almost finished catching up with their series

dejun: are there any bubble tea places here?

jisung: yeah

dejun: bet

**greasy** **  
** **[Today, 17:07]**

hera: oh my god it took me so long to go thru everything   
hera: thank you for being here   
hera: i   
hera: it’s just been probably the worst week of my life    
hera: and ik yangyang was trying to cheer me up with that battling god shit but    
hera: reading your messages honestly made me more happy than i would be if i beat the shit out of our supreme ruler   
hera: so really   
hera: thank you for everything

**[zeus is online]**

zeus: doyoungie you don’t even have to thank me   
zeus: we all really care about you    
zeus: especially me idk if you knew that already   
zeus: i’ll do everything i can to make sure that you’re feeling as happy as you were the first time we met jisung   
zeus: cause that’s the least i can do

hera: you’re gonna make me cry   
hera: heck u

zeus: i’m sorry :(   
zeus: i don’t want you to cry i’m sorry

hera: you don’t have any classes rn right

zeus: do you want me to come over?

hera: yes   
hera: everyone is working or doing homework

zeus: of course i’m on my way

**china boyfies** **  
** **[Today, 17:35]**

**[tennie is online]**

tennie: the front door just opened   
tennie: did you come back?

**[kunnie is online]**

kunnie: not yet    
kunnie: who’s home?

tennie: everyone but you

kunnie: maybe it’s food?

tennie: idk    
tennie: i’m heading out to check

kunnie: stay safe

tennie: lol it was just jaehyun

kunnie: how’d he get in?

tennie: apparently doyoung told him where we kept the spare

kunnie: oh   
kunnie: i hope doyoung is okay :/

tennie: i feel like jaehyun is here bc he’s not

kunnie: cute

tennie: ikr   
tennie: he was so worried and antsy when i stopped him

kunnie: i hope everything goes okay   
kunnie: has taeyong gotten started on dinner yet?

tennie: no i think he’s still working on homework

kunnie: alright   
kunnie: you can order delivery   
kunnie: use my card

tennie: you sure?   
tennie: i don’t mind paying

kunnie: nope   
kunnie: you don’t get paid nearly as much as me   
kunnie: and since we have jaehyun here too   
kunnie: just use my card

tennie: alright

kunnie: i’ll be home in a few minutes don’t die

tennie: i won’t   
tennie: you don’t die either

kunnie: i won’t   
kunnie: love you

tennie: love you too

**senior citizens** **  
** **[Today, 18:14]**

**[emperor of japan, braincells, and thaicon are online]**

thaicon: pizza in the living room   
thaicon: cheese pepperoni and supreme    
thaicon: one of each

**[mother is online]**

mother: did you buy it yourself? sorry 

braincells: no it was my card   
braincells: and dw about it taeyong    
braincells: ik you’re busy

mother: alright me and johnny are on our way out

emperor of japan: @mentally crippled you have to come eat too   
emperor of japan: bring jaehyun too

emperor of japan: doyoung?

thaicon: i’ll go check on them

thaicon: oh

braincells: ?

thaicon:  _ sent an image _

mother: wait they’re so cute

emperor of japan: ^^

braincells: lol jaehyun looks like he’s gonna kill someone in his sleep

thaicon: yeah ik   
thaicon: that’s why i’m iffy on waking them up

mother: leave them be   
mother: we’ll just leave some pizza for later

thaicon: will do 

**young people** **  
** **[Today, 19:58]**

yangyang: mark can you please hurry your stupid ass up

mark: why are we even leaving i thought we were eating dinner here?

kunhang: confidential

renjun: sound off with your status and your driver

chenle: tired and with yukhei who is looking very angry

jisung: annoyed and with yukhei

yangyang: pissed and with dejun

kunhang: also pissed and with dejun

donghyuck: ??? and with jeno

jaemin: neutral and with jeno

mark: exhausted and with jeno

renjun: great everyone’s here

mark: would you guys please like to tell me why we had to leave so quickly

yangyang: for fun!

mark: why the fuck

**Shrek 5 2k20** **  
** **[Today, 20:03]**

rumpelstiltskin: i’m sorry guys

**[horst is online]**

horst: what happened?

donkey: um   
donkey: we were at tysons with the other underclassmen and we happened to see people that recognized chenle and kept harassing him   
donkey: we had to skrrt real quick

horst: oh    
horst: is everyone okay?

puss in boots: i wish that they weren’t   
puss in boots: but 

horst: lele?   
horst: they didn’t touch you right?

rumpelstiltskin: no ofc not dejun would’ve cut off their hands if they had   
rumpelstiltskin: it was just really uncomfy

fairy godmother: i’m sorry we didn’t react sooner lele

rumpelstiltskin: it’s okay

horst: did anyone else see?

donkey: jisung did

horst: oh   
horst: did he question it?

puss in boots: not yet

horst: chenle what’s your plan of action?

rumpelstiltskin: i’ll have to tell him if he asks   
rumpelstiltskin: those people weren’t exactly subtle   
rumpelstiltskin: i’m sure that he understands the gist of it

fairy godmother: those fuckers are so dead

horst: no renjun   
horst: you can’t kill anyone   
horst: you’re not in china anymore   
horst: you don’t have the same connections that can get you out of jail

fairy godmother: fuck jail you know i won’t get caught anyway   
fairy godmother: they insulted chenle for something he can’t control   
fairy godmother: it’s not his fault he was born to piece of shit parents

horst: renjun watch it you know they're doing what they can

rumpelstiltskin: it’s okay renjun   
rumpelstiltskin: please don’t kill anyone   
rumpelstiltskin: i don’t want sicheng to come back to america with more to deal with than when he left

puss in boots: you’re just going to tell jisung straight up?

rumpelstiltskin: it’s not like i have much of a choice   
rumpelstiltskin: besides i feel like jisung is the type that can keep a secret

horst: it’s so stupid that you came to america to live a more normal life but people still recognize you

rumpelstiltskin: it’s alright   
rumpelstiltskin: it really is

donkey: it’s really not    
donkey: but you know we’ll support you no matter what

rumpelstiltskin: i know   
rumpelstiltskin: thank you guys for that

horst: you don’t have to thank us   
horst: our allegiance is to you   
horst: not your family business

puss in boots: when you say family business you make it sound so normal

fairy godmother: it is a family business   
fairy godmother: just the shittiest business one could run

rumpelstiltskin: at least i won’t be required to take over   
rumpelstiltskin: minghao ge gave up everything for me   
rumpelstiltskin: and all of you fought for my freedom   
rumpelstiltskin: i can never thank you guys enough

donkey: don’t thank us   
donkey: we love you you know that   
donkey: we’re all willing to do anything for you

rumpelstiltskin: i know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe i just started writing a norenmin fic please look forward to when i release it


	13. friday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sungie: oh thank god  
> sungie: i thought he was like  
> sungie: uhm  
> sungie: sorry i forgot the word  
> sungie: uhh  
> sungie: a...?  
> sungie: butt  
> sungie: STABBY STABBY PERSON

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chat names  
> Shrek 5 2k20  
> Kun: horst  
> Ten: shrek  
> Sicheng: pinocchio  
> Yukhei: prince charming  
> Xiaojun: dragon  
> Kunhang: donkey  
> Renjun: fairy godmother  
> Yangyang: puss in boots  
> Chenle: rumpelstiltskin

**the children** **  
** **[Today, 22:33]**

**[sungie is online]**

sungie: hey lele  
sungie: can we talk?

**[lele is online]**

lele: sorry i’m suddenly mute

sungie: this is a text conversation

lele: i’m suddenly helen keller

sungie: lele please

lele:  
lele: fine  
lele: what do you want to talk about?

sungie: what was that?

lele: i’m sorry  
lele: you’ll have to specify  
lele: yukhei’s horrible driving, xiaohenyang flirting with the waiters at iron age, or norenmin suddenly becoming a power couple

sungie: those people at tysons calling you a heartless murderer  
sungie: a “silver spoon brat who spills blood just to drink it”  
sungie: i promise i won’t tell anyone i just want you to be safe  
sungie: i want to know what’s going on so if it ever happens again then i can help protect you

lele:  
lele: um  
lele: oh god i knew i was gonna have to tell you it’s just hard to find the words rn

sungie: take your time  
sungie: i’m gonna be here no matter what

lele: you’re too nice

sungie: i’m only nice to people who deserve it  
sungie: and you do

lele: ew debatable  
lele: um  
lele: you know how everyone was sus of sicheng being in the mafia

sungie: yeah

lele: well uh  
lele: he is?  
lele: and so am i?  
lele: and so is the rest of china line?

sungie: oh

lele: sorry this is probably really weird

sungie: you haven’t killed anyone before right?

lele: no  
lele: i’m not allowed to get blood on my hands

sungie: i see  
sungie: but if you haven’t killed anyone then why did they call you that?

lele: because i’m the son of china’s best assassin and the mafia’s boss  
lele: everyone assumes that i’m following in my parents’ footsteps

sungie: oh

lele: forget i said anything lol you can use your imagination to figure what happened bye

sungie: nO  
sungie: lele please

lele: this is Awkward  
lele: i didn’t think people would recognize me in america  
lele: and we all let our guards down and now we ruined today for everyone :/

sungie: you didn’t ruin anything  
sungie: you know none of the others care  
sungie: did you see how much fun they were having at iron age?  
sungie: you would never see those smiles at fucking california pizza kitchen  
sungie: and even if we weren’t thinking about that  
sungie: your safety is more important than an overpriced white food place

lele: thanks i’m emo now

sungie: twins!

lele: (*~▽~)

sungie: do you think you’ll ever tell the others?

lele: i don’t really want to if i don’t have to  
lele: it’s just weird to tell people i consider friends  
lele: ‘hey i’m actually the son of a mob boss so please watch your language around me or you might die’

sungie: oh

lele: sorry that came out kinda rude

sungie: no it’s okay  
sungie: thank you for telling me lele  
sungie: i mean it  
sungie: i’m really glad that you trusted me

lele: of course  
lele: it’s only been a week since we met but i feel like i would trust you with my life

sungie: (◕︵◕)  
sungie: i have noodle arms you shouldn’t do that

lele: i’ll do it anyway  
lele: because you’re pretty cool yknow?

sungie: no u  
sungie: also can i ask another question?

lele: yeah go ahead!

sungie: sicheng said he worked for your family right?  
sungie: what exactly does he do...?

lele: you sound scared lol  
lele: he’s a bodyguard

sungie: oh thank god  
sungie: i thought he was like  
sungie: uhm  
sungie: sorry i forgot the word  
sungie: uhh  
sungie: a...?  
sungie: butt  
sungie: STABBY STABBY PERSON

lele: LMAO  
lele: an assassin

sungie: YES that’s it

lele: no he is not an assassin

sungie: are any of the china line members stabby stabby people

lele: do you really want to know?

sungie: if you’re okay with telling me then yes

lele: oki  
lele: they’re all bodyguards but each of them have different roles?  
lele: kun ge makes sure we don’t die aka the leader, ten is in charge of relations, yukhei is just a regular bodyguard, kunhang is in charge of communications with home, sicheng is part of a smaller section of relations that deal with actual negotiations and my ‘main’ bodyguard/caretaker, and yang is the tech geek  
lele: the actual assassins are dejun and renjun

sungie: dejun????  
sungie: i mean ig since he’s kinda small but  
sungie: i don’t think i would’ve ever guessed that  
sungie: renjun tho i understand  
sungie: i’m so scared of him it's unreal

lele: LOL

sungie: please don’t tell him i said that he’s gonna kill me

lele: dw neither of them are allowed to kill anyone for the time being

sungie: ?????i don’t think that’s any better??????  
sungie: why can’t they kill anyone????

lele: well first off assassins aren’t just serial killers who just go stabby stabby to anyone they feel like  
lele: they can only kill people that they’re ordered to  
lele: two even if they could just kill anyone they wanted to they can’t do that in america bc we’re still working on getting enough relations to get them out of jail if that ever happens

sungie:  
sungie: that’s kind of insane but really fuckin cool at the same time

lele: cool?  
lele: you think the mafia is cool?

sungie: well i mean killing people is very much Not A Gamer Move  
sungie: but um  
sungie: idk i feel like it’s cool that my best friend is the son of a mob boss 

lele: best friend?

sungie: sorry sorry should i not say that?

lele: No! I Like It Very Much And I Am Honored To Be Your Best Friend

sungie: but if your parents are so powerful and involved in Bad Stuff then i’m guessing that you didn’t really have much of a childhood?

lele: no actually

sungie: ?

lele: my dad took really good care of me and was always trying to make sure that i lived a normal life outside of the mafia  
lele: and chunhua (my mom but she gets uncomfy when i call her that) really really tried her hardest to make it feel like we were a regular family  
lele: they really cared a lot for me 

sungie: oh sorry

lele: no it’s okay! i understand why you would assume that

sungie: i’m not really sure what i can ask ngl

lele: if it makes it any better there is literally no question you can ask me that i haven’t heard before

sungie: really??  
sungie: i’m taking that as a challenge

lele: do your worst

**Shrek 5 2k20** **  
** **[Today, 00:23]**

rumpelstiltskin: so jisung took it really well  
rumpelstiltskin: he swore on his baby cousin that he wouldn’t tell so i’m going to hope nothing happens

**[horst is online]**

horst: good job lele  
horst: you didn’t feel too uncomfortable right?

rumpelstiltskin: no he was really understanding about it

horst: i’m glad

**[pinocchio is online]**

rumpelstiltskin: oh no

pinocchio: why are you oh no ing

rumpelstiltskin: bc someone found out?

pinocchio: i don’t care about that  
pinocchio: if anything happens the jun’s will take care of it  
pinocchio: i’m just eating lunch rn and decided to progress report

horst: yes please do

**[donkey and puss in boots are online]**

horst: why aren’t you two asleep?

puss in boots: why aren’t you  
puss in boots: you’re the one with morning classes

horst: i will not acknowledge that statement  
horst: anyways begin sicheng

pinocchio: right so uhh  
pinocchio: i told you guys about bin right?

rumpelstiltskin: yes

puss in boots: yea

pinocchio: so he actually doesn’t know where taeil is rn and that’s kind of a problem that i didn’t address in the 11:11 chat  
pinocchio: he knows that his parents took away taeil’s phone but he doesn’t know where they’re forcing him to stay

donkey: assholes

pinocchio: i know  
pinocchio: my flight leaves next sunday and since it’s saturday for me rn we agreed that he would spend the next five days continuing to try and convince his parents while i track down taeil  
pinocchio: if he still can’t get it by next thursday i’m gonna have to use the z word

horst: we hate conservatives

puss in boots: we really do

pinocchio: but a slight problem we’re not sure if the z word works in korea

rumpelstiltskin: true they might not even know what you’re talking about

pinocchio: yeah it’s kind of a problem  
pinocchio: bin says that if it gets to that point then we’ll just have to give up

horst: i mean yea  
horst: there’s not much you can do then

puss in boots: it’s gonna suck tho  
puss in boots: as soon as we join the group we lose a member

donkey: it’s okay we’ll just make the jun’s kidnap him or summ

horst: no???

donkey: yes

rumpelstiltskin: for legal reasons he is joking haha you’re so funny kunhang

puss in boots: for legal reasons i don’t agree at all with kunhang’s suggestion

pinocchio: i don’t see anymore i’m helen keller

horst: kunhang why are you like this

donkey: _of july: everyone who goes to a private school ends up fucked up in some way {wednesday, 11:22 AM}_

pinocchio: you went all the way back to wednesday just to get that 

donkey: it was only two days ago

horst: oh god  
horst: this week has gone by so fast and slow at the same time

rumpelstiltskin: i can’t believe the party was a whole ass week ago

puss in boots: i feel like it’s been a month  
puss in boots: sm has happened

donkey: ikr  
donkey: like we joined and then suddenly doyoung’s dad is dead and taeil is missing and kunten get over their 10 ish years of pining and finally get together and jisung finds out about us and sicheng has to go bargain for taeil’s fuckin freedom

horst: oh my god it was 10 years????

pinocchio: 9 years for you 12 for ten

**[shrek is online]**

shrek: YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO FUCKING EXPOSE ME LIKE THAT 

pinocchio: oh hey i summoned him

horst: t-twelve years i’m so sorry tennie

shrek: sigh  
shrek: it’s okay baby we’re together now aren’t we

horst: :’( i don’t deserve you

shrek: yeah you don’t  
shrek: i’m going back to sleep

rumpelstiltskin: damn

horst: good night baby

shrek: gn

**[shrek is offline]**

pinocchio: my talent,,, it’s almost legendary

donkey: how did you even do that lmao  
donkey: the last time i had to wake ten up he was still sleeping after i dumped a cup of ice down his shirt and pants

puss in boots: lmao those were the good times

pinocchio: he has a 6th sense we just embarrass him and bam he’s there

horst: twelve years....

rumpelstiltskin: we get it you love him 

horst: damn right i do now go to sleep you heathens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol yall guessed it right off the bat  
> i mean it wasn't supposed to be something that i hid for chapters and chapters and chapters  
> good job
> 
> Also!  
> Thank you guys sm for 200 kudos and 3000+ hits! I started this on a whim (like I always do) and I'm so happy that people out there actually like what I'm doing! Really! Thank you! I love you guys


	14. saturday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> soupcheng: no
> 
> teayong: s i g h
> 
> soupcheng: i can’t hear your disappointment over the sound of my CRUNCH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 11:11  
> Taeil: princess yue  
> Johnny: johnny appleseed  
> Taeyong: teayong  
> Yuta: yuTA  
> Kun: kung-fu  
> Doyoung: dingdong  
> Ten: number  
> Jaehyun: uknow  
> Sicheng: soupcheng  
> Jungwoo: jungle  
> Yukhei: yukas  
> Mark: markus  
> Xiaojun: of july  
> Kunhang: kun man  
> Renjun: renning  
> Jeno: jenna  
> Donghyuck: hockey hyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemming  
> Yangyang: sheepsheep  
> Chenle: angel le  
> Jisung: jwisung
> 
> chem buddies:  
> Johnny: johnny  
> Taeyong: taeyong

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 6:07]**

**[teayong is online]**

teayong: ik most of you are asleep but we should probably start thinking about performances for nct  
teayong: it’s already almost december and since we have a bunch of new members we should start planning

**[soupcheng is online]**

soupcheng: oh god i totally forgot about that  
soupcheng: how have you guys been organizing it so far?

teayong: we had three units  
teayong: nct 127 (me, taeil, johnny, yuta, doyoung, jaehyun, jungwoo, mark and hyuck)  
teayong: nct dream (mark hyuck jaemin jeno jisung)  
teayong: and nct u which was rotational 

soupcheng: so i guess the china line members make a new unit? since there’s kind of a lot of us

teayong: you can pick whatever unit you want  
teayong: if you do decide to make your separate unit then you might have to be leader  
teayong: you guys can have kun and ten since they weren’t in a unit other than u

soupcheng: then i pass the burden of leader to kun 

teayong: fair enough  
teayong: our school’s culture night is usually in april so we have a little bit to prepare

soupcheng: alright  
soupcheng: why are you up so early?  
soupcheng: isn’t it like 6 for you?

teayong: my body doesn’t let me sleep normally

soupcheng: that doesn’t sound good

teayong: it isn’t  
teayong: but what are you doing rn?

soupcheng: i’m eating dessert  
soupcheng: jehyun got me some cookies and they slap  
soupcheng: but i’m worrying about your sleeping schedule

teayong: i never sleep the same hours for more than two days  
teayong: doesn’t matter how much melatonin i take

soupcheng: have you seen any doctors?

teayong: can’t really afford to see them for something like this lmao

soupcheng: ://  
soupcheng: i hate america’s health care

teayong: same  
teayong: but i can’t really afford to move out of country either

soupcheng: not even to canada?

teayong: no  
teayong: cause i’m in *whips* crippling student debt

soupcheng: america sucks  
soupcheng: part of me wishes we had transferred to canada but if we had we wouldn’t have met you guys

teayong: 💕💕

soupcheng: we’ll get you guys out of here eventually

teayong: nah  
teayong: as much as the country sucks i can’t picture myself ever living anywhere else

soupcheng: not even korea?

teayong: maybe  
teayong: i’ve never gone

soupcheng: we’ll take you one day

teayong: i appreciate it but i don’t wanna impose   
teayong: let’s just focus on school for now lol

soupcheng: no promises

teayong: sigh just listen to me for once smh

soupcheng: no

teayong: s i g h

soupcheng: i can’t hear your disappointment over the sound of my CRUNCH

teayong: S I G H

soupcheng: C R U N C H

teayong: i give up

soupcheng: good choice

teayong: anyways  
teayong: do you have any ideas for the name of the new unit?

soupcheng: does it have to include nct in the name?

teayong: nope

soupcheng: hmm  
soupcheng: yang is the creative one not me

teayong: i mean there’s no rush  
teayong: we have until march to register

soupcheng: oh  
soupcheng: you guys write your own songs right?

teayong: yeah pretty much  
teayong: you guys are more than welcome to pick from the demos we already have

soupcheng: i’ll keep that in mind, but i think they’ll want to write their own music  
soupcheng: thanks tho

teayong: yeah ofc you’re part of the group now  
teayong: everything we have is now available to you too

soupcheng: thank you so much taeyong  
soupcheng: i never expected to have such good friends in a country like this lol

teayong: there are a lot of assholes in america yeah  
teayong: especially considering that our president is a CHILD  
teayong: but not all of us are bad

soupcheng: ik that now  
soupcheng: you guys all really opened my eyes

teayong: glad to help

**chem buddies** **  
** **[Today, 6:17]**

**[johnny is online]**

johnny: yong u good?

taeyong: yeah why

johnny: mango is gone

taeyong: oh  
taeyong: i didn’t think you’d notice

johnny: it’s hard to not notice the enormous chicken on your bed is missing

taeyong: oh

johnny: is everything okay?

taeyong: i guess

johnny: where are you?

taeyong: it’s okay you should go back to sleep

johnny: taeyong where are you?

taeyong: kitchen

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 8:27]**

**[johnny appleseed is online]**

johnny appleseed: hello i would like to announce that i have taken away taeyong’s phone for the day so if you have any concerns you can text me

**[jwisung is online]**

jwisung: what happened to taeyong?

johnny appleseed: just stressed  
johnny appleseed: i figured it’d do him some good to stay offline for a little bit

jwisung: i see  
jwisung: i hope that he feels better ://

johnny appleseed: i’m making him rest all day but only time will tell  
johnny appleseed: what are you doing up so early?

jwisung: idk  
jwisung: i woke up at like 7 for no reason and rn i’m just chilling at the parking garage behind my house

johnny appleseed: you’re actually outside right now?

jwisung: yeah  
jwisung: i just couldn’t stand being at home

johnny appleseed: everything good?

jwisung: yeah it’s not like anything’s wrong  
jwisung: it just felt stuffy

johnny appleseed: alright stay safe kiddo

jwisung: okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry i forgot to update a few days ago i'm currently at the beach and haechan has decided to make me suffer and burn my entire body


	15. saturday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> angel le: pretty EXPENSIVE
> 
> yukas: you didn’t even pay for them i don’t wanna see you complaining
> 
> angel le: then close your eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 11:11  
> Taeil: princess yue  
> Johnny: johnny appleseed  
> Taeyong: teayong  
> Yuta: yuTA  
> Kun: kung-fu  
> Doyoung: dingdong  
> Ten: number  
> Jaehyun: uknow  
> Sicheng: soupcheng  
> Jungwoo: jungle  
> Yukhei: yukas  
> Mark: markus  
> Xiaojun: of july  
> Kunhang: kun man  
> Renjun: renning  
> Jeno: jenna  
> Donghyuck: hockey hyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemming  
> Yangyang: sheepsheep  
> Chenle: angel le  
> Jisung: jwisung 
> 
> Shrek 5 2k20  
> Kun: horst  
> Ten: shrek  
> Sicheng: pinocchio  
> Yukhei: prince charming  
> Xiaojun: dragon  
> Kunhang: donkey  
> Renjun: fairy godmother  
> Yangyang: puss in boots  
> Chenle: rumpelstiltskin

**sichen??** **  
** **[Today, 9:04]**

**[si is online]**

si: hello you fucking gremlin

**[chen is online]**

chen: good morning to you too ig   
chen: what’s up?

si:  _ sent an image _   
si: i’ll give you a sec to decode it 

chen: oh no it’s dad

chen: uhh

si: sigh   
si: you could’ve told me that you were gonna ask for his help so early   
si: i could’ve saved a lot of time and energy   
si: especially bin who was fighting a losing battle

chen: i’m sorry

si: you did well tho   
si: i don’t think bin would be able to convince his parents   
si: i wish you had told me but thank you for getting help

chen: ^^;   
chen: i told dad that you would want to do it yourself

si: i didn’t really have much hope ngl

chen: oops

si: sigh    
si: i do appreciate it tho   
si: i really do   
si: tomorrow i’ll talk it over with bin   
si: if everything goes well, i’ll be back in time for your birthday

chen: don’t rush ge!    
chen: taeil is more important than my birthday   
chen: do you at least know where he is?

si: yeah   
si: i tracked him down already   
si: contacting him is a different problem but at least we have his location

chen: that’s good!

si: i guess   
si: what are your plans for the day?

chen: i think i’m just gonna stay at home   
chen: make things easier on jun ge

si: you know that you’re not a bother for him right?

chen: feel like i am tho ://   
chen: if it wasn’t for me he could be with minghao ge

si: they both love you lele don’t worry about bothering them

chen: easier said than done

si: i’m gonna call jisung and make him crush you in hugs

chen: why jisung

si: you’re not exactly subtle child

chen: fym   
chen: i feel nothing   
chen: i am a mean lean fighting machine

si: gonna call him rn

chen: no please don’t    
chen: he mentioned a few days ago that he only goes to the parking garage when he’s not feeling too hot i don’t wanna take away his happy time

si: but might as well be sad together yknow?

chen: no

si: fair enough   
si: jun’s staying in with you?

chen: yeah   
chen: maybe minghao ge is coming too but idk 

si: okay   
si: tell them i said hi

chen: will do   
chen: do you have to leave?

si: yeah   
si: are you gonna be okay?

chen: yeah dw about me   
chen: good luck   
chen: sorry for not telling you about dad

si: it’s okay   
si: thank you for contacting him   
si: you know i would’ve waited a few more days despite how useless it was

chen: no problem ^^ i’m just glad i could help

si: you did help a lot   
si: i’m gonna go now   
si: have a good day lele

chen: good night!

**[si is offline]**

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 11:11]**

**[uknow is online]**

uknow: 🙏

**[johnny appleseed, yuTA, kung-fu, and six others are online]**

hockey hyuck: 🙏

yukas: 🙏

jungle: 🙏

yuTA: 🙏

johnny appleseed: 🙏

number: 🙏

kung-fu: 🙏

markus: 🙏

angel le: 🙏

yuTA: kind of rare for jaehyun to actually be active here when doyoung isn’t

uknow: doyoung has nothing to do with it   
uknow: i jst woke up and chcked th tim   
uknow: yall r lucky my timing is god

number: yes yes you’re so very cool

uknow: damn right

markus: but you do uhh

hockey hyuck: lurk a lot

markus: yeah that   
markus: you don’t usually actually talk

hockey hyuck: the only person who talks less than you is yukhei

yukas: i just don’t spend a lot of time on my phone!   
yukas: you guys know i’m a lot louder irl

angel le: we know all too well

yukas: :/

uknow: o wll   
uknow: usally i dont talk bc im laz but rn my arm is knda being incapacitated so i dont wana tak

jungle: wow big word   
jungle don’t use up all your braincells at once

uknow: stfu

markus: what’s up with your arm

johnny appleseed: oh wait you never left

uknow: ye so    
uknow: knda dying

hockey hyuck: left where

yuTA: should we

kung-fu: maybe...?

uknow: y

yuTA: i understand you less and less with every message you send

angel le: i think that’s a yes 

johnny appleseed: he came over last night and slept over with doyoung ig?

number: gay

kung-fu: we are literally

number: ew get your brain cells away from me

jungle: yes jaehyun get your mans

uknow: he jst ddnt feel good nd sked me to cme ovr   
uknow: m being a good fried   
uknow: friend

markus: that’s nice tho   
markus: you guys know doyoung doesn’t do too well on his own

hockey hyuck: yeah which begs the question where were his five other roommates

yuTA: not aware that he was dying atm

angel le: then check on him?

johnny appleseed: he doesn’t do well on his own but he doesn’t like people being with him unless he asks for them   
johnny appleseed: which is why we have jaehyun    
johnny appleseed: who is the only person doyoung ever wants to see

uknow: he said yall wr busy

number: i wasn’t ://

yukas: he probably didn’t want your company

number: that’s so incredibly rude why on earth would you ever say that to me don’t you know how i feel about that kind of stuff 

yukas: !!   
yukas: i’m sorry!!!

number: dude i was kidding   
number: everyone knows i’m the worst person to go to when you’re sad cause my solution is alcohol

yuTA: i mean,,,   
yuTA: it’s a quick fix

kung-fu: yeah but it never lasts for very long   
kung-fu: not a good solution

number: we were talking about doyoung not my coping mechanisms

kung-fu: i won’t forget this

number: you will if i go sangwoo on your head

johnny appleseed: sangwoo-

jungle: do you even have a baseball bat

number: i’ll take my pick from yukhei’s stash

yukas: hey >:( i worked hard on that collection you can’t use it for petty shit like this

angel le: i am kind of against giving kun ge amnesia

kung-fu: me too tf

yuTA: ehhhhhhhhhhhhhh

markus: yall are ignoring the main question

hockey hyuck: why does yukhei even have a baseball bat collection

markus: yes that question   
markus: thank you donghyuck for asking the important things

hockey hyuck: ah yes your welcome

angel le: you’re*

jungle: wow hyuck used the wrong form of your

hockey hyuck: shut up english is hard

yuTA: you’ve never fucked it up before

hockey hyuck: shut up

yukas: the bats were for fun!

johnny appleseed: what kind of fun tf

yukas: uh they were pretty

angel le: yeah   
angel le: pretty EXPENSIVE

yukas: you didn’t even pay for them i don’t wanna see you complaining

angel le: then close your eyes

yukas: shut up child

angel le: no u

markus: so you just    
markus: collected baseball bats    
markus: cause they were pretty?

yukas: ye pretty much

hockey hyuck: weren’t they uh pricey??

yukas: ig?   
yukas: depends on your version of pricey

yuTA: above $50

yukas: then yes they were very pricey

hockey hyuck: wow rich people

yukas: :/

kung-fu: are we just ignoring ten saying that he’s going to erase my memory

number: yes

angel le: please don’t

number: okay ig you’ll live kun

kung-fu: i’d like to file for a divorce

number: you’re not getting away

yuTA: i can be your lawyer kun

kung-fu: as much as i love you you are not good at uhhh   
kung-fu: debates

yuTA: fair

johnny appleseed: yuta why are you supporting them divorcing

yuTA: i would never support staying in a toxic relationship    
yuTA: and i think ten smashing kun’s skull is kinda toxic

hockey hyuck: ehhhhhh   
hockey hyuck: i’d say more of physical abuse than toxic 

jungle: i feel like hyuck is the type to abuse his partner

hockey hyuck: what did you get out of saying that

jungle: the joy of making you suffer

hockey hyuck: aren’t you supposed to be nice

jungle: i can be whatever i want to be

markus: i don’t think hyuck is as mean as you’re saying he is :/

hockey hyuck: jungwoo’s opinion: not valid   
hockey hyuck: mark’s opinion: valid

markus: yay

angel le: i feel like donghyuck treats mark like a baby

markus: nah he’s actually a little mean to me

hockey hyuck: ∑(ﾟﾛﾟ〃)   
hockey hyuck: i thought i was nice to you

johnny appleseed: you have a very special way of showing your affection when it comes to mark

markus: yeah lol

hockey hyuck: oh sorry

markus: it’s okay!   
markus: i know you mean well   
markus: well i hope you do 

hockey hyuck: i do!

markus: (˘･ᴗ･˘)

kung-fu: cute

number: ah   
number: young love

hockey hyuck: !!

markus: love???

hockey hyuck: as a friend!

markus: ^^ yes that

angel le: 

yukas: uh

yuTA: you broke them ten

number: whoops not sorry

johnny appleseed: and we were doing so well too

kung-fu: oh well what’s done is done

**Shrek 5 2k20** **  
** **[Today, 11:33]**

rumpelstiltskin: so that’s what you meant by they’re sensitive and in denial   
rumpelstiltskin: they’re more in sync than me and jisung

shrek: yeah it physically hurts me to watch them interact

prince charming: that was so painful

horst: they had a vibe going   
horst: we ruined it oops

rumpelstiltskin: smh   
rumpelstiltskin: how long has this even been going on

shrek: too long

prince charming: that’s an oof

horst: ik   
horst: one of these days they’ll pull their heads out of their asses

shrek: yeah i don’t think so

horst: let me be hopeful ten

rumpelstiltskin: you guys just have to give them a little push   
rumpelstiltskin: only if you know FOR SURE that they like each other and you’re not just guessing

shrek: oh we know   
shrek: i wish i could count the amount of screenshots i’ve gotten from johnny and jaemin showing mark and hyuck complaining about how it’s ‘one sided’

horst: same but with jaehyun and jeno

prince charming: so many j names...

rumpelstiltskin: and that’s without jungwoo and jisung   
rumpelstiltskin: aren’t j names like   
rumpelstiltskin: supposed to be assholes

horst: yeah but no one in nct is an asshole   
horst: on purpose

prince charming: on purpose???

shrek: yeah it sometimes happens but whenever it does they get called out instantly and apologize just as fast

horst: yes that   
horst: douchebags are not tolerated by anyone

prince charming: nice to know

rumpelstiltskin: but you guys have never tried to push markhyuck together?

number: nah

horst: no

rumpelstiltskin: guess i know what i’m doing this weekend

prince charming: oh???

horst: uhhhhh

rumpelstiltskin: do you not approve?

horst: idk if it’s me not approving but um   
horst: i hope it turns out well that’s all

shrek: yall need my help?

rumpelstiltskin: no

prince charming: no

shrek: aite fair

rumpelstiltskin: thanks tho i’ll keep you in mind

prince charming: not sure how useful someone who pined for 12 years is but yeah ofc

shrek: rude

horst: i don’t wanna laugh but i might

shrek: rude


	16. saturday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jaem: i’m not gonna force him to do something he doesn't want to do
> 
> jen: oh  
> jen: is he just tired?
> 
> jaem: nah  
> jaem: something’s bothering him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 11:11  
> Taeil: princess yue  
> Johnny: johnny appleseed  
> Taeyong: teayong  
> Yuta: yuTA  
> Kun: kung-fu  
> Doyoung: dingdong  
> Ten: number  
> Jaehyun: uknow  
> Sicheng: soupcheng  
> Jungwoo: jungle  
> Yukhei: yukas  
> Mark: markus  
> Xiaojun: of july  
> Kunhang: kun man  
> Renjun: renning  
> Jeno: jenna  
> Donghyuck: hockey hyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemming  
> Yangyang: sheepsheep  
> Chenle: angel le  
> Jisung: jwisung
> 
> foreign swaggers  
> Johnny: chicago  
> Mark: canada  
> Jaehyun: connecticut
> 
> kidz bop  
> Jeno: jen  
> Jaemin: jaem
> 
> pink haired icons  
> Jaemin: bubblegum  
> Jisung: mold

**foreign swaggers** **  
** **[Today, 11:33]**

chicago: you’re so hopeless mark

canada: i didn’t ask to be attacked like this

chicago: you did tho

canada: how???

chicago: cause you’re hopeless and dense and it hurts me to watch you two dance around each other

canada: hrngh  
canada: you know  
canada: yesterday  
canada: i went to tysons with the other underclassmen  
canada: and he  
canada: he

chicago: take your time kid

canada: he was like  
canada: attached to my arm??  
canada: like a fuckin koala and i thought i would di e  
canada: and when we went to kft he was just staring at my lips i think  
canada: oh god even thinking about it now makes me wanna commit toaster bath dude

chicago: and you have the nerve to say that he doesn’t like you

canada: i’m opening up to the idea  
canada: but i am kind of fucked in the head and i don’t want to make him suffer

chicago: if you’re fucked in the head then we should all be in a mental hospital

canada: :/  
canada: you know what i mean

chicago: you’re not that bad  
chicago: besides you deserve someone who is gonna help you through everything  
chicago: and that’s exactly what hyuck would do  
chicago: he already does

canada: yeah ik  
canada: i just can’t help but feel that i’m holding him back

chicago: you’re the only one who feels that way mark

canada: yeah but my opinion is the most important in this scenario isn’t it?  
canada: even if hyuck likes me back and wants to get together i’m too selfish to respect his wishes  
canada: i wouldn’t want to force him to be around me more than usual

chicago: ://  
chicago: i respect your decision but i really feel like it’s the wrong one  
chicago: i won’t make you do something you really don’t want to but i can’t help but feel that it’s a mistake

canada: you’re not the only one  
canada: but i would never be okay if we got together and i was a burden on him  
canada: he just deserves so much better

chicago: there are other people with no mental issues but you are the best match for donghyuck and i think we all know that  
chicago: i have never seen two people with a better bond than you two  
chicago: i just don’t want you to do something that you’ll regret  
chicago: or in this case  
chicago: i don’t want you to not do something

canada: i’m really glad that you care so much but  
canada: i don’t want to be involved with anything until i’m finally stable

chicago: i respect that  
chicago: i really want you to be happy 

canada: i will be  
canada: eventually

chicago: we’re all gonna be with you even after that happens

canada: ^^ thanks i’m not emo at all  
canada: also jaehyun fucking died i guess

chicago: @connecticut 

connecticut: hello it is doyoung jaehyun is in the bathroom rn  
connecticut: and i will leave so as to not read anything else

canada: no it’s okay  
canada: what do you think of everything?

connecticut: i’m allowed to read through?

chicago: go ahead

connecticut: hmm  
connecticut: like what johnny said  
connecticut: we just want you to be happy  
connecticut: and i talked with hyuck about this before  
connecticut: he wants the same for you  
connecticut: he would like to take the next step but he knows that you’re not really comfortable

canada: oh  
canada: i feel kinda bad

connecticut: that’s the opposite of what he wants  
connecticut: just take your time  
connecticut: “i’ve waited four years what’s a few more?” a direct quote from him back in september

canada: Oh

chicago: you kind of outed him

connecticut: he’s chill with it  
connecticut: but mark  
connecticut: whatever mental issues you have  
connecticut: those come first  
connecticut: not a single person in nct or even in general wants you to try to do something you’re not ready for 

canada: :(  
canada: okay

connecticut: anyway jaehyun is giving me puppy eyes for his phone so bye!  
connecticut: i really hope everything goes well 

canada: thank you doyoung

connecticut: no problem kiddo

**pink haired icons** **  
** **[Today, 12:03]**

**[bubblegum is online]**

bubblegum: yo jisung wya  
bubblegum: tu madre says you're not at home

bubblegum: jisung?

bubblegum: if you don't reply in the next ten minutes then i’m gonna look for you

bubblegum: alright ready or not here i come

**kidz bop** **  
** **[Today, 13:15]**

**[jen is online]**

jen: did you ever find him?

**[jaem is online]**

jaem: yeah  
jaem: he was at the parking lot sleeping

jen: why would he be asleep?

jaem: beats me

jen: you didn't ask him about it?

jaem: he didn't seem to wanna talk about it  
jaem: he seems really tired  
jaem: i’m not gonna force him to do something he doesn't want to do

jen: oh  
jen: is he just tired?

jaem: nah  
jaem: something’s bothering him

jen: take care of him

jaem: i will  
jaem: we're at tea-do next to iron age if you wanna come too

jen: yeah sure gimme a few minutes 

jaem: yep see you there 

**kidz bop** **  
** **[Today, 14:34]**

**[jen and jaem are online]**

jen: something really is wrong

jaem: okay i’m glad i wasn’t the only one seeing it

jen: do you have an idea what it could be?

jaem: not really  
jaem: with jisung it could be anything  
jaem: you know how he is

jen: i wish he would trust us a little more

jaem: me too  
jaem: i’ve been so close with his family for so long  
jaem: i would’ve thought that he would trust me with stuff but ig not

jen: it’s okay nana  
jen: he might not want to ‘burden’ us

jaem: i wish he didn’t think of it that way  
jaem: we take care of him bc we want to

jen: ig that means we just have to shower him in more affection

jaem: i’m gonna give him so many cuddles next time i see him

jen: preferably don’t suffocate him tho

jaem: he needs to be suffocated

jen: nana no

jaem: nana yes

jen: don’t kill the child

jaem: i’m gonna do what i want

jen: please don’t kill jisung we’re trying to show him that we care i don’t think that killing him is a sign of affection

jaem: i see  
jaem: you have a point

jen: yes so don’t kill him

jaem: but if i can’t suffocate him with cuddles then who am i gonna suffocate?

jen: why do you have to suffocate someone

jaem: why not?

jen: it’s just not good

jaem: it’s good for my health  
jaem: doctor’s orders i have to suffocate at least one person in cuddles per month

jen: you can suffocate me then ^^ i don’t want you to be convicted of murder unless i’m the one you kill

jaem: alrighty then

**11:11**  
**[Today, 14:52]**

**[of july is online]**

of july: does anyone know why i just saw jaemin jeno and donghyuck sprinting across campus like they were being chased by fucking mothman

**[renning is online]**

renning: i told them that the first one to make it to my dorm would get free boba whenever they wanted for the next week

of july: do you have the funds to support that

renning: yes

of july: what did you even gain from doing this

renning: the joy of seeing their faces as they realize they don’t know where my dorm is

of july: you’re evil

renning: ik

of july: they really didn’t realize that you never told them where to go before leaving?

renning: yeah they’re kind of stupid like that

of july: why are you like this

renning: i’m trying to have fun with the idiots  
renning: since i’ve accepted that i’m not getting rid of them

of july: i’m so glad you’ve never pulled this shit on me before

renning: don’t speak too soon

of july: i’m going to call the police on you for aggravated assault

renning: no you won’t

of july: you’re right i won’t  
of july: and you better consider yourself lucky

renning: i am Very Lucky 

of july: you really are

renning: anyways how long do you think it’ll take for them to notice

of july: maybe another few seconds ngl

renning: it’s been 2 minutes already

of july: how stupid are these three

renning: yes

of july: lmao

**[hockey hyuck is online]**

hockey hyuck: renjun you whore  
hockey hyuck: where in the fuck is your dorm

renning: the record is 2:34 dejun

of july: that’s insane  
of july: not a big brain moment

hockey hyuck: idk what’s going on but i’m pretty sure that you’re making fun of me rn

renning: you’re not with jaemin and jeno anymore?

hockey hyuck: nah we split a little bit ago

renning: okay then  
renning: unless they check their phones then you’ll be winning  
renning: i’m in v building room 308

hockey hyuck: fuck yeah i’m coming you sexy motherfucker

renning: ;)

hockey hyuck: ;)

**[hockey hyuck is offline]**

of july: what about the other two?

renning: the timer is still going for them  
renning: 3:23

of july: lol  
of july: this is kind of entertaining 

**[yuTA, number, uknow, and two others]**

yuTA: this seems interesting

jenna: lovely renjun where is your dorm

renning: 3:45

of july: damn i was kind of hoping to at least hit 4 minutes

number: renjun why are you like this

renning: why not  
renning: jeno i’m in v building room 308

jaemming: see you then

renning: don’t trip and fall you absolute buffoons

jenna: we won’t

**[jenna and jaemming are offline]**

number: why did they not get annoyed at all

yuTA: and why did jeno call you lovely

renning: cause i am lovely

of july: you didn’t even flinch or panic at all  
of july: who are you and what have you done with gay panic renjun

renning: first of all  
renning: fuck you

of july: no u

renning: second  
renning: it’s just a word that he threw out why would i panic

yuTA: wow

number: wow

uknow: wow

renning: what is that supposed to mean

yuTA: just saying  
yuTA: i don’t think i’ve ever heard jeno use the word lovely in my life  
yuTA: much less use it to describe someone

renning: inch arresting  
renning: must just be you then

number: ?

renning: idk i’ve heard him use it a lot  
renning: granted i’ve only known him for a week

of july: also not @ jaehyun just saying wow and then effectively shutting up

uknow: gotta get used to it dude

of july: i’m slowly becoming accustomed to it

uknow: good

renning: update  
renning: jeno and jaemin have somehow beaten hyuck having a minute head start

yuTA: absolute beasts i tell you

of july: how the fuck...

**[hockey hyuck is online]**

hockey hyuck: i got sidetracked!

number: how could you lose with a minute head start

hockey hyuck: i forgot the way to the v building...

yuTA: you’re wild hyuck

hockey hyuck: shut up!  
hockey hyuck: i made it in the end didn’t i 

renning: yeah but you still lost

hockey hyuck: they beat me by less than five seconds!

number: still a loss

hockey hyuck: hrngh

of july: but who actually won

renning: jeno but it’s not like anyone is actually surprised

hockey hyuck: fuck yeah renjun you sexy motherfucker

renning: ;)

hockey hyuck: ;)

yuTA: i am: uncomfy

number: what happened

hockey hyuck: ‘since you guys gave me three and half minutes of entertainment i’ll get you all boba for the next three days’

of july: how come i never get this treatment

renning: cause you’re not as entertaining as watching three people scramble around campus looking for my dorm

hockey hyuck: you were watching

renning: could see it all from my window

hockey hyuck: and you didn’t do anything

renning: nope

hockey hyuck:

of july: lmao

hockey hyuck: know what it’s fine  
hockey hyuck: i got free boba out of it 

yuTA: pretty low maintenance

hockey hyuck: only cause it’s renjun and he’d beat my ass if i complained

renning: damn straight

hockey hyuck: i normally refuse to go down without a fight but i’m also too lazy to use any energy  
hockey hyuck: i wouldn’t win against renjun

renning: wow look at you  
renning: using your brain for once

hockey hyuck: genuinely fuck you

renning: ;) sure

hockey hyuck: ;)

of july: i am very uncomfortable with the energy that we’ve created in the studio today

number: ✨ u n c o m f y ✨

yuTA: for some reason i feel like i’m watching an affair even tho both of you are single

hockey hyuck: not anymore right renjun

renning: yes

uknow: thanks i hate it

number: imagine how **** would feel if he knew

hockey hyuck: i’m allowed to have fun aren’t i tho

renning: *spits out tea* wait donghyuck are you cheating on me??!!!

hockey hyuck: *looks at you with pleading eyes* i would never! where did you get that idea??

renning: i’m sorry, this relationship is over *turns away, distraught*

hockey hyuck: no renjun please! i can explain! *stands up*

renning: *whips around with angry eyebrows* don’t talk to me anymore! how could you! i trusted you! *turns away again*

hockey hyuck: renjun we can talk about this! *grabs your wrist*

renning: *rips wrist away and holds it as if it’s been hurt* no we can’t! goodbye donghyuck. *walks out the door*

hockey hyuck: *falls to the ground sobbing* no please renjun! come back!  
hockey hyuck: *cries myself to sleep in the same place*

of july: p-please admin  
of july: do something

**[dingdong is online]**

dingdong: worry not my child 

**[dingdong (admin) has removed renning from the chat]** **  
** **[dingdong (admin) has removed hockey hyuck from the chat]**

number: eyedrops but make it ✨bleach✨

uknow: i wish i was helen keller right now

yuTA: that was  
yuTA: quite interesting

of july: i wish i never learned how to r e a d

dingdong: the last thing i wanted to see when i looked at my notifications was renjun and donghyuck roleplaying  
dingdong: that was disgusting  
dingdong: i want to give myself amnesia

yuTA: what are jaemin and jeno even doing

number: @jaemming @jenna

**[jenna and jaemming are online]**

jaemming: they’re complaining that you guys kicked them out of the chat

of july: they deserved it

jenna: what’d they do

yuTA: they were roleplaying with like the asterisks and shit

jaemming: oh they did deserve it

jenna: i more than support your actions  
jenna: we should just not add them back

of july: maybe after a day it’ll be okay for them...

number: nope they deserve a worse punishment

dingdong: i’ll add them back at midnight then

jaemming: i hope they learn their lesson

yuTA: we left roleplaying back in 2011

jenna: facts

of july: i’m ashamed to know those two 

dingdong: fr

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> an apology of sorts for the very short last chapter. 
> 
> does respecting someone's boundaries count as slowburn? cause if so then get ready for the markhyuck and jaedo slowburn  
> spoiler alert chenji and norenmin take the longest to get together  
> poor lele... haha...  
> EDIT: I FORGOT ABOUT JOHNTAE THOSE TWO TAKE THE LONGEST OUT OF EVERYONE OMG I FORGOT I'M SO SORRY
> 
> hope you guys are doing well ^^ as always, thank you for reading.


	17. sunday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jungle: that is the least convincing thing i’ve heard all week
> 
> kun man: the week started half an hour ago
> 
> jungle: i’m going to murder you in the s building bathroom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW//DEPRESSION AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AT THE END OF THE CHAPTER  
> yall see the mental issues tag???? yeah that  
> be careful
> 
> 11:11  
> Taeil: princess yue  
> Johnny: johnny appleseed  
> Taeyong: teayong  
> Yuta: yuTA  
> Kun: kung-fu  
> Doyoung: dingdong  
> Ten: number  
> Jaehyun: uknow  
> Sicheng: soupcheng  
> Jungwoo: jungle  
> Yukhei: yukas  
> Mark: markus  
> Xiaojun: of july  
> Kunhang: kun man  
> Renjun: renning  
> Jeno: jenna  
> Donghyuck: hockey hyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemming  
> Yangyang: sheepsheep  
> Chenle: angel le  
> Jisung: jwisung
> 
> kim chungha enthusiasts  
> Mark: roller coaster  
> Donghyuck: stay tonight
> 
> markcest  
> Mark’s old account: minhyung  
> Mark: mark

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 0:34]**

**[teayong is online]** **  
** **[teayong (admin) has added Ren Jun Huang and Donghyuck Lee to the chat!]**

teayong: don’t bully the children

**[jungle, markus, kun man, and four others are online]**

jungle: oh it’s mark   
jungle: that’s rare

**[Donghyuck Lee has changed Donghyuck Lee’s name to hockey hyuck]** **  
** **[Ren Jun Huang has changed Ren Jun Huang’s name to renning]**

hockey hyuck: you’re not sleeping yet mark?

markus: nope

jaemming: why not

markus: i’m just vibing dude why would i go to sleep when i could vibe instead

kun man: what

sheepsheep: i don’t know mark that well but i feel like that’s not something he’s supposed to do

teayong: he’s not supposed to 

renning: have you tried putting him in rice

markus: i feel like being put in rice would feel really nice tho  
markus: haha i rhymed

jungle: he’s fucking broken

jaemming: mark go to sleep

markus: no ❤️

kun man: dude are you okay

markus: yeah dude i’m fine

sheepsheep: you sure?

markus: yeah i’m fine yeah i’m fine  
markus: oh fuck

hockey hyuck: it really doesn’t seem like you are

markus: Hello 👋, finally 😌introducing✨ Loona🌙 Are 🌟you 😍girls 👭 ready🙈? Okay👌, let's 🌚go🤩!

jungle: taeyong what do we do

teayong: hm  
teayong: mark go to sleep 

markus: no ❤️

teayong: what’s going on with you  
teayong: you usually never stay up late

markus: cause i’m ✨ stressed ✨

renning: what happened?

markus: chan is not at the dorm  
markus: it’s kind of ✨ s p o o k y ✨

sheepsheep: spooky?

jungle: his dorm is in the haunted s building

sheepsheep: there’s a haunted building here?????

jaemming: we didn’t tell you?

sheepsheep: no????

kun man: this is news to me too

sheepsheep: fear not mark i will come to your rescue

markus: no

sheepsheep: damn

markus: the second that door knob moves i’m throwing my pole at whatever comes through and then jumping through the window

renning: is it that bad?

hockey hyuck: it’s bad  
hockey hyuck: i have a friend who lives there and he said that his first night in the dorm there was a shit ton of noise in the bathroom and when he checked in the morning there were bloody handprints all over

teayong: you’re friends with sanha?

hockey hyuck: yeah sanha the man  
hockey hyuck: jongho is pretty chill too i’m just scared he’ll crack my skull open

kun man: it wasn’t just someone else who used the bathroom?

jungle: nope the bathroom was empty all night

sheepsheep: how do yall know 

jaemming: it was in a princess suite and the other dorm sharing the bathroom didn’t have anyone in it yet

renning: that’s so fucking sketchy

markus: yes so you can understand my terror  
markus: yangyang if you even touch my door you’re dead

sheepsheep: noted

teayong: are you gonna be okay by yourself mark

markus: yes i’ll be fine i’m fine and dandy i’m just vibing you know???

jungle: that is the least convincing thing i’ve heard all week

kun man: the week started half an hour ago

jungle: i’m going to murder you in the s building bathroom

hockey hyuck: what a way to go out  
hockey hyuck: at least he can say hi to sanha and jongho before he goes

jungle: i’ll make sure they don’t come back in time for him to talk to them

hockey hyuck: you monster

kun man: i don’t even know sanha and jongho

sheepsheep: yoon sanha and choi jongho?

teayong: how do you know them?

sheepsheep: i don’t  
sheepsheep: not personally at least

jaemming: how’d you know then

sheepsheep: i’ve heard the names before from other people on campus

hockey hyuck: oh lol i thought you were just stalking us

sheepsheep: nah nah that’s a privacy violation

renning: since when did you care about those

sheepsheep: since i was born

kun man: 👀

sheepsheep: if you know what’s best for you then you’ll shut up

kun man: shutting up!

markus: i’m going to focus on every little noise in the hallway now so if you’ll excuse me 

teayong: try and get a little sleep okay?

markus: no  
markus: i’m jk i love you thank you 

**[markus is offline]**

sheepsheep: i should go over and jiggle his doorknob

teayong: yangyang!

**kim chungha enthusiasts** **  
****[Today, 0:41]**

stay tonight: i know you said you were gonna focus on noises but are you okay

**[roller coaster is online]**

roller coaster: yes i’m perfectly fine you do not need to worry

stay tonight: :// that’s not really convincing 

roller coaster: it’s nothing you need to bother yourself with

stay tonight: you’re my friend and fellow byulharang  
stay tonight: your wellbeing is very important to me no matter what

roller coaster: oh

stay tonight: so if it helps i can talk to you all you want 

roller coaster: you should sleep tho

stay tonight: you know my sleep schedule is fucked up

roller coaster: yeah and i shouldn’t be encouraging it by making you stay up later than normal

stay tonight: sigh  
stay tonight: you know what?  
stay tonight: if you don’t wanna talk to me that’s fine i won’t force you into anything  
stay tonight: i just want you to know that i’ll be here if you ever do want to take your mind off of stuff

roller coaster: thanks hyuck

stay tonight: of course  
stay tonight: i really do care about you i hope you know that

roller coaster: yeah i do  
roller coaster: thanks tho

stay tonight: np  
stay tonight: now try to get some sleep okay?

roller coaster: i’ll do my best

**tw//depression and suicidal thoughts  
** **do not read past here if those make you uncomfortable**

**markcest** **  
****[Today, 0:48]**

mark: I wonder if Hyuck realizes what he does to me.  
mark: I mean probably not, right?  
mark: Why would he care enough about me to notice the little things that change when we're together?  
mark: Was it stupid of me to want to have him for myself?  
mark: He deserves so much better than me.  
mark: Why did he waste four years on a dysphoric piece of shit like me?  
mark: There are tons of people out there better for him.  
mark: He seems to be getting along pretty well with Renjun.  
mark: That's good.  
mark: He deserves to be happy.  
mark: But why do I still feel so empty?  
mark: I want to accept that he’s moving on but it hurts so much.  
mark: Knowing that while he enjoys his life I'll be stuck in my own head.  
mark: That’s so selfish of me.  
mark: Johnny and Doyoung said that they won’t force me to do anything, but I feel like they just said that because they’re that sick of me.  
mark: They definitely are.  
mark: I’ve been complaining about this since sophomore year, there’s no way they don’t want to strangle me.  
mark: I want to strangle me, how could they not?  
mark: Idk maybe I’m just being selfish again.  
mark: Ha.  
mark: I’m such a shitty person.  
mark: Wbk tho aha.  
mark:  
mark: I wish I had never been born.  
mark: I wish I had never lived.  
mark: I wish I had enough courage to kill myself.  
mark: I wish I didn’t feel like suicide is the only way out.  
mark: I wish I could meet someone who actually cared.  
mark: I wish I wasn’t worthless.  
mark: I wish that I wasn’t a waste of space.  
mark: I wish I could die peacefully.  
mark: I wish I had something I wanted to accomplish.  
mark: Aha  
mark: Everytime I have to go onto a second line I keep thinking that it’s a read receipt and someone out there is reading my messages.  
mark: But there’s no one out there who would ever want to burden themselves with my ennui.  
mark: I’m just being overdramatic aren’t I?  
mark: I have food, access to clean water, a shelter, a family.  
mark: I have so much but I’m this fucked up.  
mark: Friends... those are such a vague concept.  
mark: What is the line between friend and associate?  
mark: Just talking to someone doesn’t make them a friend.  
mark: What amount of conversations do you need to have a friend?  
mark: Whatever that number is, I’m sure I haven’t passed it.  
mark: I can’t talk, and because of that, I’m alone.  
mark: Everyone in NCT is gonna eventually find out that I’m annoying and not worth the time of day.  
mark: They’ll all leave eventually.  
mark: I have no choice but to believe that.  
mark: It’s stupid of me to think otherwise.  
mark: They’ve already stopped caring.  
mark: It doesn’t matter to them what I feel.  
mark: Of course not.  
mark: Why would it?  
mark: They don’t care.  
mark: They SHOULDN’T care.  
mark: I’m just a disappointment. An accident that should end everything before he becomes any more of an inconvenience.  
mark: Why would they care about something like me?  
mark: I’m not even a human anymore.  
mark: I’m just a piece of trash.  
mark: I can’t please anyone.  
mark: How does it feel to wake up every morning, just to wish that you hadn’t?  
mark: To have hands pushing you down because you’ll never be enough?  
mark: To be choked by the knowledge that you’re so incredibly stupid and your opinions matter to no one?  
mark: I wish I didn’t know these feelings as well as I do now.  
mark: I wish so badly that those feelings were foreign to me.  
mark: But what we wish for isn’t always what we get.  
mark: I wonder how these feelings are going to last.  
mark: I wonder if they’ll ever end, or if they’ll plague me until I draw my last breath.  
mark: If so, I wish that last breath would come a little quicker.  
mark: But at the same time, I’m terrified of death.  
mark: What I wouldn’t give to just go into a coma and shrivel away.  
mark: I have nothing to lose but a life that I never wanted in the first place.  
mark: I can’t have anything taken away from me because I have nothing.  
mark: My “friends” will always leave.  
mark: That’s just a way of life.  
mark: No one wants me around.  
mark: What’s stopping me from walking off of a building other than my own cowardice?  
mark: I can’t even begin to understand what words my fingers type out for me.  
mark: I can’t hope to understand what’s going on in my head.  
mark: I wish something could make me feel full again.  
mark: But that’s thinking too wishful for someone like me.  
mark: The most I can do is give up and just die in peace.  
mark: I don’t have a right to struggle for my life.  
mark: I never wanted it in the first place.  
mark: Why waste energy on an existence that should’ve never happened?  
mark: I’m just tired.  
mark: So so tired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i literally take one of my old rants and plaster it word for word in here? yeah ❤️
> 
> anyways this is why markhyuck takes a while haha yes
> 
> i feel like i haven't built a lot on jungwoo and yukhei a lot  
> i think the only ones that actually have much of a character and the seniors, sicheng, jaehyun, chenle, jisung, and maybe mark and hyuck  
> everyone else it seems like i've left them behind  
> i have to change that
> 
> CLC COMEBACK WHAT THE FUCK OH MY GOD OH MY GOD  
> I'M LITERALLY GONNA DIE OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD I HATE CUBE SMMMMMM


	18. sunday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> johnny appleseed: you really have connections everywhere  
> johnny appleseed: you’re like sicheng
> 
> hockey hyuck: still sticking by my theory that sicheng and chenle are part of the mafia
> 
> angel le: hey leave me out of this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i figured i should apologize for the angst of the previous chapter with a double update
> 
> 11:11  
> Taeil: princess yue  
> Johnny: johnny appleseed  
> Taeyong: teayong  
> Yuta: yuTA  
> Kun: kung-fu  
> Doyoung: dingdong  
> Ten: number  
> Jaehyun: uknow  
> Sicheng: soupcheng  
> Jungwoo: jungle  
> Yukhei: yukas  
> Mark: markus  
> Xiaojun: of july  
> Kunhang: kun man  
> Renjun: renning  
> Jeno: jenna  
> Donghyuck: hockey hyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemming  
> Yangyang: sheepsheep  
> Chenle: angel le  
> Jisung: jwisung
> 
> yucheng  
> Yuta: yuta  
> Sicheng: sicheng

**yucheng** **  
** **[Today, 9:05]**

**[sicheng is online]**

sicheng: good news!  
sicheng: i was gonna tell the gc but i wanted to tell you first!

**[yuta is online]**

yuta: what happened??

sicheng: i managed to convince the parents!

yuta: wait seriously?!

sicheng: yeah!

yuta: how did you manage that?

sicheng: i have friends in high places ^^

yuta: i’m not gonna question that  
yuta: good job!  
yuta: when are you coming back?

sicheng: i’m booking a flight for tomorrow  
sicheng: or for you guys today

yuta: how’s taeil?

sicheng: he seemed more tired than anything  
sicheng: i don’t think he got a lot of sleep the past week

yuta: that’s not good

sicheng: i’m thinking it’s just stress  
sicheng: he said he’ll probably knock out on the plane  
sicheng: and he’s sleeping right now

yuta: that’s good then?

sicheng: yeah i think so 

yuta: when are you telling the gc?

sicheng: i'm debating as to whether i should be the one to announce it or let taeil say it himself  
sicheng: letting taeil come online and saying he's back would have more of an impact yknow?

yuta: ah so the drama

sicheng: yeah pretty much 

yuta: but you told me?

sicheng: yeah bc i wouldn't have been able to do this without your support 

yuta: 🥺  
yuta: really? i didn't do much tho

sicheng: i mean if not for you adding me to the momo but with a glock gc and talking to me i would've never been comfortable enough to ask about taeil  
sicheng: and even after i left you would keep encouraging me and telling me that i could do it  
sicheng: i went there knowing that i would fail but you kept supporting me  
sicheng: me and taeil owe you  
sicheng: if not for you i would’ve left within three days

yuta: 🥺🥺🥺  
yuta: i'm so glad i could help

sicheng: i’m glad you helped too  
sicheng: i’m glad we’re friends now yuta ^^

yuta: me too 😄  
yuta: but i should probably let you go to sleep now tho

sicheng: i’ll talk to you in the morning okay?

yuta: yep!  
yuta: good night sichengie

sicheng: good night yuta 

**[sicheng is offline]**

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 11:11]**

**[princess yue is online]**

princess yue: 🙏 i’m back bitches did you miss me

**[johnny appleseed, teayong, yuTA, and seventeen others are online]**

soupcheng: 🙏  
soupcheng: i thought you were asleep!

jaemming: 🙏  
jaemming: The Return of the King

jenna: 🙏  
jenna: welcome back!

markus: 🙏 

yukas: 🙏 

jungle: 🙏  
jungle: did you enjoy your week of silence

teayong: 🙏  
teayong: thank god you’re back

yuTA: 🙏 

hockey hyuck: 🙏  
hockey hyuck: my favorite person!

jwisung: 🙏  
jwisung: we missed you taeil

kung-fu: 🙏  
kung-fu: finally another person with braincells

dingdong: 🙏  
dingdong: the gang’s all here!

johnny appleseed: 🙏  
johnny appleseed: hope everything’s okay

kun man: 🙏 

number: 🙏 

sheepsheep: 🙏  
sheepsheep: our god has returned

of july: 🙏 

angel le: 🙏  
angel le: welcome back!

uknow: 🙏  
uknow: missed you old man

renning: 🙏 

jwisung: full attendance let’s go

princess yue: i was asleep but you know  
princess yue: duty calls  
princess yue: god i missed having my phone

hockey hyuck: it’s nice to have you back ^^

princess yue: you really are my favorite donghyuck

hockey hyuck: i will defend that title with my life

teayong: what about the rest of us??

princess yue: sicheng is pretty chill too  
princess yue: and lele and yuta

jaemming: rude

princess yue: i’m jk  
princess yue: i missed all of you

johnny appleseed: when are you two coming back to virginia?

soupcheng: uh yeah about that lol

yuTA: what is that supposed to mean

princess yue: we’re staying for another few days cause i miss my brothers

jenna: what??

princess yue: i haven’t seen them in six years! and the past week i wasn’t allowed to see them so now that i’m free i wanna catch up! jehyun is suddenly 19! i missed out on his teen years! i have to know what happened while i was in the us!  
princess yue: and bin is finally achieving his lifelong dream! what kind of person would i be to not congratulate him in person at least five times?!

sheepsheep: a normal one?  
sheepsheep: five is a little excessive

princess yue: i’m trying to be a good brother  
princess yue: i did essentially abandon them after all

soupcheng: even tho neither of them take it personally :/

princess yue: doesn’t matter i’m gonna try and make up for it

teayong: please come back quickly i feel like i’m gonna go insane without you at home

number: what is that supposed to mean??

kung-fu: you guys are all nightmares

teayong: yeah pretty much

dingdong: i have literally done nothing to deserve this 

johnny appleseed: you let jaehyun know where the spare key was

uknow: was that bad?

yuTA: nah they’re just stingy with who knows

princess yue: i’m sure we can make an exception for jaehyun

dingdong: see?? i’m not that bad

teayong: i will not comment further on the matter

dingdong: asshole

teayong: bingle 👺 bangle 👹 round 😈 what 😎 comes 😯 around 😠 goes 😔 around 😚

dingdong: kidney 🍕 function 🕺 is 😌 not 👷♂️a 🥒 right 🧠, it's 😇 a 🍐 privilege 🤪

kung-fu: please stop  
kung-fu: someone remind me why these two have admin rights

angel le: you could always take it away from them

kung-fu: oh?

teayong: wait--

 **[kung-fu (admin) has removed admin rights from dingdong]** **  
** **[kung-fu (admin) has removed admin rights from teayong]**

dingdong: why would you do that chenle i thought i could trust you

angel le: ;)

of july: so when are you two coming back?

soupcheng: at least before friday  
soupcheng: dw lele we’ll be back in time for your birthday

angel le: o(*^▽^*)o

kun man: you better bring us souvenirs from korea

soupcheng: i will but only bc i’m nice

princess yue: dw! i’ll get you all stuff

jwisung: but if you’re so rich then why did you work?

princess yue: rich?  
princess yue: me?

markus: yes?

princess yue: i’m not rich  
princess yue: my family is but the most money they give me is to pay for tuition  
princess yue: i’m on my own for housing, food, anything else i want 

yukas: damn that’s rough

princess yue: it’s alright  
princess yue: it’s nice knowing that i don’t have to pay for school

hockey hyuck: what about now?  
hockey hyuck: are they still paying for your tuition

princess yue: well i only have one semester left  
princess yue: i wouldn’t mind paying for it

jungle: so they’re not paying?

princess yue: i don’t think so  
princess yue: i’m fine with paying, but it all comes down to whether bin wants to try to convince my parents to spend more for my schooling

of july: are they paying for your brothers?

princess yue: ofc  
princess yue: cause bin and jehyun didn’t basically abandon the company

dingdong: what’s that mean?

princess yue: i convinced my grandma to make my parents let me go to america to study  
princess yue: i haven’t contacted anyone in korea other than byulyi since junior year

markus: who’s...

princess yue: my older cousin  
princess yue: helped me convince grandma, so it’s pretty much thanks to her that i met any of you  
princess yue: but i practically up and left everything behind

teayong: if that’s the case then i’d say take as long as you want in korea 

yuTA: i’m just worried about your school work dude

princess yue: dw about that  
princess yue: i asked another cousin to get all my stuff for me

johnny appleseed: you really have connections everywhere  
johnny appleseed: you’re like sicheng

hockey hyuck: still sticking by my theory that sicheng and chenle are part of the mafia

angel le: hey leave me out of this

soupcheng: i’m not part of the mafia...

number: you could’ve asked us to take notes

princess yue: by the time i figured out that i was being taken back to korea i had already gotten my phone taken  
princess yue: couldn’t really do anything  
princess yue: but jehyun said that once he found out that i had been brought back he looked into my classmates and found a cousin to take care of school work

kung-fu: your family is something else huh...

princess yue: yeah lol  
princess yue: you guys talked a lot  
princess yue: it’s gonna take me a long ass time to read thru everything  
princess yue: that reminds me  
princess yue: doyoungie are you okay?

dingdong: well  
dingdong: i’m improving

princess yue: that’s good  
princess yue: if you all will excuse me  
princess yue: we can catch up fr another time

soupcheng: go to sleep you dolt it’s 12

princess yue: no ❤️

soupcheng: how dare you defy me like this

kung-fu: both of you go to sleep

soupcheng: no

princess yue: no

kung-fu: why does no one respect me

jwisung: i might respect you more if you breathed fire but you don’t  
jwisung: how sad

kung-fu: why would....  
kung-fu: i’m not even gonna question it

angel le: no but he has a point  
angel le: if you had some sorta super power i’m sure you’d get a lot more respect

kung-fu: idk what you expect me to do about that

sheepsheep: just get a super power

kun man: duh

of july: it ain’t rocket science

yukas: just dump a spider in nuclear waste or summ  
yukas: then bam

kung-fu: where would i find nuclear waste

jungle: just look around i’m sure you’ll find it

teayong: notice how it’s only your children bullying you

kung-fu: jisung started it and he’s your child

teayong: jisung you’re disowned

jwisung: what the fuck is this  
jwisung: i was just offering my opinion

teayong: you have brought disgrace to my family

jwisung: what the fuck what the fuck

angel le: it’s okay we can adopt you  
angel le: right kun?

jenna: you’re gonna be his sugar daddy even though you’re in the same family

jwisung: ... i thought you forgot about that

kung-fu: i don’t think i’ll ever forget about two minors discussing a sugar daddy arrangement

dingdong: wtf  
dingdong: i don’t remember reading those messages

renning: it was last thursday i’m pretty sure

angel le: yeah it was thursday

yuTA: chenle would you lend money to a poor old man

angel le: yeah what’s your venmo

yuTA: wait what

renning: why are you so surprised you’re the one who asked

yuTA: i didn’t think he’d actually agree

teayong: lele you shouldn’t just give money to people  
teayong: even if you are rich it never hurts to save up

angel le: true true  
angel le: but ik how expensive college is in america and if i can help then i will

yuTA: 😭 you’re so sweet chenle 

jwisung: wait chenle you’re my exclusive sugar daddy smh

angel le: i mean if that’s what you want ofc ;)

yukas: yall are children s t o p 

sheepsheep: i’m not even that much older but this hurts to see

jwisung: smh yall just jealous i have a sugar daddy

of july: you’re both 17????

kun man: this feels so wrong

jungle: fr i can’t deal with this

jwisung: kun give me admin rights

kung-fu: absolutely not  
kung-fu: if i didn’t trust taeyong and doyoung with them what makes you think i’m going to give them to you?

angel le: kun ge give me admin rights

kung-fu: no!  
kung-fu: why do you two suddenly want admin??

jwisung: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

angel le: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

johnny appleseed: thanks i hate it

number: thanks i hate it  
number: ayyy

johnny appleseed: ayy

teayong: sigh  
teayong: jisung chenle what are you two planning

angel le: we’re planning to add joe

soupcheng: no...

yukas: you can’t do this

kung-fu: who’s joe?

uknow: kUN NO

jwisung: JOE MAMA

kung-fu: 

yuTA: you walked right into that

jungle: there was nothing more we could’ve done 

of july: here lies qian kun’s final resting spot

kun man: we get an f in the chat 

yuTA: f

angel le: f

jwisung: f

number: f

jaemming: f

jenna: f

hockey hyuck: f

sheepsheep: f

markus: f

yukas: f

kun man: f

number: f

soupcheng: f

jungle: f

dingdong: f

teayong: f

johnny appleseed: f

renning: f

kung-fu: i have nothing to say for myself

jwisung: haha boomer  
jwisung: should’ve known

angel le: who in their right minds would make friends with someone named joe

renning: i don’t think i know a single joe

jenna: joe is just a real fucking ugly name

markus: i don’t think anyone can argue with that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> somehow this chapter was longer than usual whoops  
> welcome back taeil


	19. sunday/monday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sheepsheep: yeah doesn’t it suck that you’ll be stuck in dream
> 
> renning: better than being stuck with you
> 
> sheepsheep: yeah but you still have to live with me
> 
> renning: not if i lock you in the haunted s bathroom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 11:11 (admins: KN)  
> Taeil: princess yue  
> Johnny: johnny appleseed  
> Taeyong: teayong  
> Yuta: yuTA  
> Kun: kung-fu  
> Doyoung: dingdong  
> Ten: number  
> Jaehyun: uknow  
> Sicheng: soupcheng  
> Jungwoo: jungle  
> Yukhei: yukas  
> Mark: markus  
> Xiaojun: of july  
> Kunhang: kun man  
> Renjun: renning  
> Jeno: jenna  
> Donghyuck: hockey hyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemming  
> Yangyang: sheepsheep  
> Chenle: angel le  
> Jisung: jwisung
> 
> the children  
> Chenle: lele  
> Jisung: sungie

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 23:11]**

**[princess yue is online]**

princess yue: 🙏

**[number, soupcheng, jungle, and five others are online]**

renning: 🙏

jaemming: 🙏

jungle: 🙏

hockey hyuck: 🙏

number: 🙏

soupcheng: 🙏

sheepsheep: 🙏

kun man: 🙏

jaemming: it feels so weird to finally be getting them consistently again

hockey hyuck: you never know how good taeil is until he’s gone 

princess yue: i’m glad you appreciate me  
princess yue: i’m actually out with my brothers rn so cya

number: tell them i said hi

princess yue: i don’t think they know you but alright will do 

**[princess yue is offline]**

sheepsheep: god i actually really missed him

jungle: you’re telling me  
jungle: taeil just has this presence that makes you fall in love tbh

renning: oh??

jungle: not in like  
jungle: a romantic way  
jungle: but before you know it you’re attached to him

hockey hyuck: he does have that pull  
hockey hyuck: he isn’t as loud as the rest of us but he’s certainly a core member of nct  
hockey hyuck: and his vocals are godlike

kun man: i wanna hear them live :(  
kun man: i’ve listened to some of yall songs and i really wanna hear him

number: well taeyong was already discussing culture night so once we figure out new unit lineups then you’ll be able to

sheepsheep: fucking bet

jaemming: none of you have chosen your units yet right?

kun man: i don’t think so  
kun man: i haven’t at least

renning: you and jeno are literally bullying me into choosing dream jaemin

jaemming: :(  
jaemming: i guess you don’t have to

renning: no shut up i’m gonna join dream fuck you you absolute fool

jungle: alright then...  
jungle: kunhang and yang what about you?  
jungle: any ideas?

kun man: idk i don’t think i could fit with either of the fixed unit concepts

sheepsheep: same  
sheepsheep: i would join dream but i just can’t see myself in there

hockey hyuck: ten and sicheng?

number: me neither  
number: might be best for us to make a separate unit  
number: altho lele would fit in with dream really well

soupcheng: the new unit might be best for me  
soupcheng: tho yuta has told me to join 127 multiple times

jungle: you should join 127!  
jungle: it would never hurt to have someone else with braincells in the group  
jungle: ofc we have taeil but that’s never enough

soupcheng: i’ll consider it

jaemming: but won’t you be in two units?

hockey hyuck: taeyong usually fixes the schedules for me and mark  
hockey hyuck: i’m sure he can do the same for sicheng

renning: but we’d need a name for the china line unit

sheepsheep: i was actually thinking about that

kun man: what’d you come up with

sheepsheep: you ever realize how all of china line except for kunten and lele have dorms in the v building

jungle: oh shi you right

jaemming: so are you gonna do something with that?

sheepsheep: yeah lol  
sheepsheep: back when renjun was tormenting hyuck jeno and jaemin with the boba thing hyuck mentioned that he forgot the way to the v building and i got an idea  
sheepsheep: WayV sounds like a pretty cool name right?

kun man: oh wait it does sound pretty good

sheepsheep: ikr 

number: i like it

soupcheng: ^

renning: ^^ you finally did something right yang

sheepsheep: yeah doesn’t it suck that you’ll be stuck in dream

renning: better than being stuck with you

sheepsheep: yeah but you still have to live with me

renning: not if i lock you in the haunted s bathroom

soupcheng: stop both of you

sheepsheep: fine

renning: no

soupcheng: renjun...

renning: fine  
renning: watch your back yang

sheepsheep: i hope the bathroom ghost kills me

jungle: wait that actually slaps tho

hockey hyuck: yeah fr  
hockey hyuck: i wish we had had your creativity when naming our units yang

sheepsheep: thanks lol

jaemming: it’s weird how every single one of you ended up in v building tho

soupcheng: it must’ve been fate or summ

kun man: oh god that’s so cheesy 

number: i never thought i would hear something like that come out of your mouth sicheng

soupcheng: it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity  
soupcheng: you’re lucky that you can ss it

sheepsheep: i’m gonna ss it print it out and a make a shrine for it

jungle: that’s a little much

jaemming: just realizing that taeyong isn’t here  
jaemming: hoe finally sleeping at night

number: nah i’m pretty sure johnny took his phone again  
number: i can hear him talking in the living room with doyoung

hockey hyuck: stupid  
hockey hyuck: tell them both to go to sleep

number: lol if i told them to go to sleep they’d just tell me to sleep instead

hockey hyuck: ah

soupcheng: you guys should sleep

kun man: tsk

sheepsheep: it’s not even 12 yet

soupcheng: there are four more minutes until 12 don’t play with me  
soupcheng: go to sleep  
soupcheng: idc if you don’t have morning classes 

jungle: :/  
jungle: ig that’s that  
jungle: gn fellow fools

hockey hyuck: gn

kun man: good night 

sheepsheep: gn!!

jaemming: good bye

number: gn to all

renning: ig i have to sleep then

soupcheng: yang please make sure that he does

sheepsheep: oki

renning: 🐍

soupcheng: hush renjun this is for your own good

renning: fine gn

**[number, soupcheng, jungle, and five others are offline]**

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 7:25]**

**[kung-fu is online]**

kung-fu: i made breakfast again

**[teayong, uknow, yukas, and four others are online]**

jenna: you wake up hella early

kung-fu: i mean my alarm is at 6:45

yukas: 6:45 for a class that doesn’t start til 8????  
yukas: are you some kind of masochist

kung-fu: i just like being able to take my time getting ready

of july: kun ge you’re insane

kung-fu: :///

teayong: don’t complain he made you guys food

kung-fu: yes thank you taeyong

teayong: np i’ll be out in like ten minutes

kung-fu: ok

jenna: i’ll come over in a little bit i just woke up from your texts

yukas: same with me and dejun

uknow: my class got cancelled :/  
uknow: but i’ll still drop by if that’s ok

teayong: yeah ofc  
teayong: you can say hi to doyoung too

uknow: aite bet i’ll come around like 7:45

kung-fu: okay

jwisung: i wonder if my mom would be willing to drive all the way to your place...

angel le: i can drive you jisung :D

jwisung: you can drive??

uknow: you can drive?

angel le: well not me  
angel le: jun

yukas: ah that makes more sense

jwisung: you would take me??

angel le: i’d have to ask first but he has to go around that area anyways  
angel le: i’m sure he wouldn’t mind picking you up

kung-fu: what if you two are late for school

angel le: do you doubt jun’s driving skills?

kung-fu: not that  
kung-fu: traffic  
kung-fu: and your school and our place are in opposite directions  
kung-fu: and it’s like 20 minutes from your house to ours 

angel le: eh we’ll be fine

**the children** **  
** **[Today, 7:29]**

sungie: we’re gonna be late aren’t we

lele: most likely  
lele: that’s okay with you?

sungie: yeah ofc i don’t have a second period  
sungie: but isn’t today an even day

lele: yeah what about it

sungie: don’t you have calc first period 

lele: ehhhhhhhhhhhhh  
lele: i’ll just have jun call in sick for me or summ

sungie: would he let you skip the whole day

lele: i can always beg  
lele: ik he’s weak

sungie: i wish you could call in sick for me smh

lele: do you want me to?

sungie: you can do that?

lele: one of my cousins is very very close with the principal  
lele: i’m sure it’ll work out

sungie: how many cousins do you even have 

lele: well biologically i only have two  
lele: but in title i have 17 in america

sungie: kind of a lot

lele: eh  
lele: there’s more in china

sungie: so i can skip with you?

lele: yeah ofc  
lele: only if you want to tho

sungie: ofc i do  
sungie: why would i willingly go to school when i could hang out with you

lele: :))

sungie: altho how is your cousin gonna get me out? or is that a secret

lele: LOL  
lele: she just knew the principal and has a lot of blackmail on every staff here

sungie: every single one??

lele: yeah

sungie: damn.  
sungie: i wish she’d share her knowledge

lele: i think she’s actually friends with jungwoo

sungie: what???

lele: they’re in the same grade

sungie: damn,,, i should get to know her then

lele: go ahead lol  
lele: she loves meeting new people

sungie: loves meeting new people to make friends or to do background searches on them

lele: hmmm.... i’d have to say both

sungie: scary  
sungie: i’m sure i’ve said this before but your family is scary

lele: i mean  
lele: as long as you don’t have anything they want and you don’t do anything bad they’re nice people

sungie: still scary

lele: if it’ll make you feel any better i can introduce you to all of them sometime 

sungie: i feel like i’d die of a heart attack

lele: but jun is gonna be driving us?

sungie: hm  
sungie: jun is different cause i’ve known him for a while now

lele: is he now

sungie: and he’s kind of babie

lele: so are the rest of my cousins  
lele: except for one of them lol he scares me shitless

sungie: see?? if you’re scared of them then there’s no way i’ll survive

lele: alright then  
lele: but i thought you wanted to know my cousin’s ways with the school staff

sungie: i’ll make an exception for her  
sungie: only cause i want to be able to blackmail my teachers into passing me

lele: do you really wanna meet her?  
lele: i can ask jun to take us to their college 

sungie: would you really?

lele: yeah lol  
lele: jun was gonna get coffee from the plaza near the seniors’ house and then go to campus to drop it off for minghao  
lele: we can go visit her then

sungie: aite bet

lele: we’re on our way to your house now so i hope you’re ready 

sungie: yeah i’m ready

lele: your parents are okay with this?

sungie: my parents don’t need to know anything past “a friend is driving me to school”

lele: evil 

sungie: you’re the one who’s getting me out of school so who’s the real evil one here

lele: you got me there

sungie: i thought so

lele: lol  
lele: i’ll see you in a few minutes then 

sungie: cya lele ^^

lele: (´▽`)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yangyang big brain  
> or am i the big brain for making the connection  
> i never realized that i put them in the v building i just thought "yo my name starts with v why not put my favorite unit in there" and somehow...


	20. monday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> markus: i beg to differ
> 
> jwisung: then beg
> 
> [markus has left the chat]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> greasy  
> Doyoung: hera  
> Jaehyun: zeus
> 
> johnjae  
> Johnny: john  
> Jaehyun: jae
> 
> 11:11  
> Taeil: princess yue  
> Johnny: johnny appleseed  
> Taeyong: teayong  
> Yuta: yuTA  
> Kun: kung-fu  
> Doyoung: dingdong  
> Ten: number  
> Jaehyun: uknow  
> Sicheng: soupcheng  
> Jungwoo: jungle  
> Yukhei: yukas  
> Mark: markus  
> Xiaojun: of july  
> Kunhang: kun man  
> Renjun: renning  
> Jeno: jenna  
> Donghyuck: hockey hyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemming  
> Yangyang: sheepsheep  
> Chenle: angel le  
> Jisung: jwisung

**greasy** **  
** **[Today, 10:03]**

**[hera is online]**

hera: thanks for staying jaehyun

**[zeus is online]**

zeus: ofc  
zeus: i would go with you to your class but i don’t think that mr adams would appreciate that

hera: i wish you could come with me  
hera: i hate hate hate that class 

zeus: i bet  
zeus: ofc nothing is stopping you from skipping

hera: i’d love to but you know how it is

zeus: yeah  
zeus: good luck okay?  
zeus: don’t die  
zeus: if anything happens just text me and hang around wonwoo or something

hera: i know jaehyun  
hera: i’m glad you’re worried about me but i can go to class just fine 

zeus: alright...

hera: i’ll come pick you up from your class when i’m done okay?

zeus: okay

hera: i’ll see you then

zeus: yep

**[hera and zeus are offline]**

**johnjae** **  
** **[Today, 10:31]**

**[john is online]**

john: so i heard that you were with doyoung all morning until he went to his class?  
john: how’s it going soldier

**[jae is online]**

jae: i keep wanting to say something but  
jae: his dad just died  
jae: you know how close they were  
jae: i don’t want to overstep my boundaries until he’s ready 

john: you two were cuddling a few days ago tho?

jae: that’s different  
jae: it was just for comfort  
jae: it wasn’t romantic or anything

john: oh 

jae: ikr  
jae: nothing is going to be happening outside of therapy for a while

john: i’m sorry jae

jae: it’s alright  
jae: he’s not asking me to wait for him but i’ll do it anyway

john: you’re so devoted to him

jae: not like you’re one to say anything  
jae: how are things going for you?

john: well  
john: i’ve been taking on a lot of extra shifts for the past few months but you knew that already

jae: how much longer do you think you’ll need

john: i’m not sure  
john: being able to afford housing, food, utilities, that’s not super hard especially if i pick up a third job  
john: it’s just the problem of these student loans  
john: i got off sort of easy thanks to scholarships but i’ll still have to pay them off

jae: taeyong know anything yet?

john: he’s really worried about me overworking myself but i don’t think he knows what i’m trying to do

jae: you’re a lot more devoted than me johnny  
jae: altho i’m sure that you don’t have to wait to have enough money to live comfortably until you confess

john: because we’ve already spent kindergarten to present day together  
john: i’ve seen every side of him possible and i feel like we can make it pretty far  
john: i want to be able to offer him something

jae: altho i don’t think that yongie will care much as to what you can offer him

john: i just can’t shake the feeling that i have to be able to provide  
john: even if we don’t get married or move in together later on

jae: that’s your choice ofc  
jae: altho you could always ask your parents for money

john: you know that’s never gonna happen

jae: it would never hurt to ask them

john: it would hurt bc you know they’re gonna give me the money when they barely have enough for themselves

jae: you’re also putting all the burden on yourself  
jae: taeyong is more than capable of helping out

john: i don’t want to make him 

jae: a relationship is mutually giving and taking  
jae: you can’t just give everything and expect him to give nothing

john: let me be selfish for once jae

jae: no  
jae: you are aware that yong makes almost 50 an hour right

john: yeah but he’s also very busy with school  
john: i don’t want to make him have to work more than he has to

jae: i’m not gonna be able to change your mind am i 

john: nope

jae: well then i’m gonna help you out

john: nope

jae: sucks for you cause i’m gonna do it anyway  
jae: you can’t refuse my help 

john: too bad i’m refusing 

jae: very convenient that i don’t care

john: you’re not helping me  
john: i feel bad just hearing about it

jae: too bad  
jae: just stop feeling so guilty about everything we do to help you

john: sorry 

jae: you better be you fool  
jae: just accept the help with gratitude cause you’re not changing my mind

john: thank you jaehyun

jae: no problem  
jae: i will do everything in my power to help you

john: you’re actually the best

jae: after taeyong?

john: after taeyong

jae: thought so

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 11:11]**

**[princess yue is online]**

princess yue: 🙏 

**[dingdong, yukas, markus, and three others are online]**

jenna: 🙏 

dingdong: 🙏 

yukas: 🙏 

angel le: 🙏 

jwisung: 🙏 

markus: 🙏 

princess yue: how are your days going children

jenna: i got a 98 on my political science quiz applaud me

dingdong: good job jeno 

yukas: 👏👏

markus: imagine getting grades in the 90s couldn’t be me 

jwisung: fr

angel le: i think my highest grade this year was a 92 on an english test

yukas: i mean you’ve only been at this school for like  
yukas: less than a month

angel le: details

jenna: but a 92 is pretty good too

angel le: is it tho

dingdong: i mean you didn’t fail

angel le: 92 is such an ugly number

jwisung: ngl it kinda is 

markus: i think so too  
markus: but it’s better than a 50

angel le: at least 50 is attractive

princess yue: how is a number attractive

angel le: in the same way that a number is unattractive

jwisung: it’s just the feel you get from it

dingdong: i can’t find myself arguing  
dingdong: i just hate 92 for some reason

jenna: it’s an ugly number but it’s a good grade

angel le: ig :/  
angel le: still not satisfied with it tho

princess yue: it’s okay lele  
princess yue: what have you guys been doing all day

yukas: chilling in the dorm while dejun takes henyang out

markus: ah young love

dingdong: you’re the same age as two of them

markus: older by a few days/weeks

jenna: basically the same age

markus: let me have my moment

jenna: no

markus: why

jwisung: cause it’s more fun to bully you

markus: i ain’t gonna stick around if you guys are just gonna bully me all day

yukas: bye then ig

markus: i can’t do shit around this house huh

angel le: yeah pretty much

princess yue: stay strong mark

markus: i can’t take this disrespect any more

**[hockey hyuck is online]**

hockey hyuck: yall stop bullying him

dingdong: you bully him the most of him out of all of us

hockey hyuck: i just do some light teasing

markus: ...

hockey hyuck: wait i don’t???  
hockey hyuck: i’d like to apologize then

markus: i’m just kidding  
markus: if it’s you then i can tolerate it

hockey hyuck: 

dingdong: 

princess yue: 

angel le: i have...

jwisung: no words...

yukas: hyuck how you deal with this is beyond me

jenna: someone give mark idiot of the year award

hockey hyuck: just for the record  
hockey hyuck: i am simply respecting his boundaries  
hockey hyuck: he does not think that he is ready for anything so i will keep my distance

markus: ^^

angel le: wait you guys got your heads out of your asses??

hockey hyuck: well it was just doyoung 

dingdong: i mean in my defense you said you didn’t care whether he knew or not

hockey hyuck: i never said that it was a bad thing  
hockey hyuck: i’m just saying that it was thanks to you that something happened

jwisung: so you’re just gonna wait until mark is ready

hockey hyuck: yeah pretty much

jenna: wow good job

princess yue: altho hyuck how did you know that we were ‘bullying’ mark

hockey hyuck: idk  
hockey hyuck: i just got an urge to go onto my phone and when i did you guys were doing  
hockey hyuck: that

yukas: we weren’t even being that mean to him

markus: ://  
markus: i beg to differ

jwisung: then beg

**[markus has left the chat]**

dingdong: i hope he knows that kun is the only admin left and we can’t add him back 

jenna: he knows lol  
jenna: he just texted me complaining that he forgot about you losing your admin status

dingdong: this is a sign kun  
dingdong: give me back my admin rights

princess yue: i really don’t think that he’s gonna listen to you

dingdong: sucks for him i’ll just make another gc 

jwisung: and end a six year old gc

dingdong: i just want my admin rights back i don’t even do anything but argue with taeyong  
dingdong: and even then i never do anything with them  
dingdong: @kung-fu you suck  
dingdong: lele you suck too for giving him the idea

angel le: O_O  
angel le: sorry

dingdong: yeah you fool

yukas: don’t be mean to lele or i’ll have to whip out the baseball bat collection on you

dingdong: try it  
dingdong: i didn’t do baseball from 6th to 8th grade for nothing

angel le: wait fr

dingdong: no  
dingdong: baseball is gay

princess yue: explains why you did it then

dingdong: hey  
dingdong: baseball is gay but in the bad way  
dingdong: if that makes sense

hockey hyuck: it does but it also doesn’t

jenna: i think i get it?  
jenna: but i can’t put it into words

hockey hyuck: yeah me neither

princess yue: i get the vibes that you’re trying to send

dingdong: yeah it makes sense

yukas: still a little put off by you doing baseball 

dingdong: what’s wrong with baseball 

jwisung: almost everything

angel le: were you even good at it

dingdong: i will not answer that

hockey hyuck: you just exposed yourself 

dingdong: it was years ago and only for fun  
dingdong: my hundred time was almost 20 seconds you can’t judge me

princess yue: what does that even mean

dingdong: run 100m in 20 seconds

yukas: isn’t that a track thing

dingdong: yeah

angel le: you did track?

dingdong: yeah 

jenna: i’m learning more about doyoung right now than i have the past six years combined 

hockey hyuck: fr

dingdong: yukhei did you do track too

yukas: yeah for a little bit back in high school  
yukas: what’s your hundred rn 

dingdong: haven’t had the chance to time in a while  
dingdong: last one was in sophomore college and it was 12.72

yukas: that’s a pretty good improvement 

dingdong: cause my legs got longer  
dingdong: wbu

yukas: haha i’m at 11.42

dingdong: goddamn it  
dingdong: i’m gonna start timing again  
dingdong: i WILL beat you

yukas: good luck lol

angel le: oh god sports

jwisung: ikr  
jwisung: could never be me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry this took longer than usual to get out i haven't been feeling well lately. you might have to look out for slower updates as the school year starts though. sorry!


	21. monday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sheepsheep: shut up old man
> 
> kun man: make me ;)
> 
> sheepsheep: catch a case you old fart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chats are pretty self explanatory

**z word (now available in america!)** **  
****[Today, 21:21]**

 **[kun is online]** **  
****[kun (admin) has removed chenle from the chat]**

kun: alright what are we doing for friday

**[victoria, st.van, jackson, and twenty others are online]**

jun: are you guys not doing anything with that nct group

elkie: nct?  
elkie: the music group on campus?

the8: yeah

ten: we might?  
ten: we don’t have anything set in stone yet since winwin still isn’t back from korea

winwin: sorry  
winwin: i’ll be back on thursday at the latest

victoria: that’s still pretty late

winwin: sorry

st.van: don’t worry too much winwin  
st.van: kun have you discussed having a celebration with nct?

kun: our leader is thinking about it

yangyang: why don’t we just have a joint party

jackson: please tell me that you see all the things that could go wrong with that

yangyang: can’t say i do 

vivi: we could always have parties on two separate days?

jacob: yeah that’s true

yanan: we don’t necessarily have to celebrate the day of

sally: idk if it’s relevant but chunhua and the boss won’t be coming to america  
sally: chunhua just confirmed it with me

xuanyi: is anyone busy on friday or saturday?

elkie: i can’t do friday 

yuqi: neither can i 

jun: same

the8: me too

victoria: so saturday it is

yiren: what exactly are we gonna do?

victoria: jun, chunhua put you in charge of lele’s house right?

jun: yes  
jun: do you want me to set something up?

victoria: yeah

yangyang: still a little confused on what’s wrong with a joint party?

meiqi: doesn’t one of them know about chenle? about us?

kun: yeah

jackson: and going by our usual way of assuming worst case scenarios  
jackson: a joint party would not be the best option

kyulkyung: are we trying to have a surprise party?

victoria: it can’t be a surprise bc chenle already knows that we’re planning something

elkie: if he knows already why don’t we just ask him what he wants to do?  
elkie: he obviously trusts whoever knows enough to tell them  
elkie: we should trust his choices a little more as he’s getting older

chengxiao: it’s not that we don’t trust him, it’s that we’re just sticking to the routine 

st.van: as much as i’d love to bring lele’s opinion into this, it’s a matter of safety  
st.van: i trust him, but i would rather follow protocol  
st.van: we’ve survived this long by following the rules  
st.van: i hope you understand

elkie: yeah ofc i do

xuanyi: but i would love to know more about the person that knows about us

kun: he’s young  
kun: same age as chenle  
kun: they became close friends really quickly

yiren: can we get a name?

ten: promise you won’t do anything to him

yuqi: that all depends on how much danger he could be

lucas: he’s harmless

the8: you never know for sure  
the8: just give the name

kun: park jisung

elkie: the one who looks like a mouse?  
elkie: looks like he doesn’t know how tall he really is?

ten: you know him?

elkie: yeah he asked me this morning if i could teach him how to blackmail the high school teachers

chengxiao: what on earth 

st.van: have you done a check on him yet?

elkie: not yet  
elkie: i didn’t know his last name

victoria: how much do you know about him?

kun: what about him?

victoria: family relations

kun: i know that he’s adopted  
kun: his adoptive parents are very close to another of our members’ family

sally: names?

**china boyfies** **  
****[Today, 21:49]**

tennie: hey is it really okay for us to be giving this much information about the members?

kunnie: it’s either we give it or elkie yiren or yuqi will find it themselves

tennie: it just doesn’t sit right with me

kunnie: it’ll be okay, alright baby?  
kunnie: if they find anything they’ll let us know  
kunnie: but i don’t think that there’ll be anything too bad

tennie: i hope you’re right

**z word (now available in america!)** **  
****[Today, 21:52]**

xuanyi: kun?

kun: yeah sorry got caught up with something else  
kun: other boy is na jaemin

elkie: i’m skimming park jisung’s file

jacob: anything worth noting?

elkie: he was born in china to south korean parents  
elkie: they immediately put him up for adoption  
elkie: leading to him getting adopted by his current parents, park jaegun and bonhwa  
elkie: jaegun’s sister married into the na family and is jaemin’s mother, so jisung and jaemin are basically cousins  
elkie: other familial relations...  
elkie: oh. 

jun: oh?

elkie: park bonhwa’s second cousin  
elkie: park eunhwa

jackson: ah hell no

the8: park eunhwa??

kyulkyung: i know her son  
kyulkyung: park seonghwa  
kyulkyung: i don’t think he’s aware of his mother’s gang affiliations and past

meiqi: i’m close with his boyfriend as well  
meiqi: neither of them know anything about the underground, whether it be here or in korea

hendery: but park eunhwa has nothing to do with with jisung right?

elkie: not that i’m seeing  
elkie: ofc i’m just reading the more public files  
elkie: i still have yet to get into everything  
elkie: yiren or yuqi, if you two could do a check on the na family and park seonghwa that’d be amazing

yiren: already on the na family

yuqi: i’ll do seonghwa then

elkie: thank you 

victoria: so it’s settled that we won’t be having a joint party  
victoria: sorry yang

yangyang: it’s okay i understand

st.van: so while yuyiyan do their checks we should perhaps focus on the party?

xiaojun: i’m already working on getting chenle out of the house for the whole day 

jun: are we going big or no?

xuanyi: go all out

jun: okay

the8: we’ll get started with buying everything tomorrow then

vivi: don’t forget receipts 

jun: yes ma’am

**Conversation with Tingyan Chong** **  
****[Today, 22:05]**

Kun Qian: hi there elkie

Tingyan Chong: hi kun  
Tingyan Chong: what’s up?

Kun Qian: i was wondering if you could tell me everything you find on jaemin and jisung?

Tingyan Chong: so that’s what this is about  
Tingyan Chong: thought so   
Tingyan Chong: alright, will do

Kun Qian: really?

Tingyan Chong: i’m no sure what intentions you have, but knowing you, you’ll probably do something good with the information  
Tingyan Chong: so yes, really

Kun Qian: thank you so much elkie

Tingyan Chong: of course  
Tingyan Chong: your first piece of information   
Tingyan Chong: jisung was actually sold on the black market before coming to america

Kun Qian: what??

Tingyan Chong: from what i’m reading, when he first got put into adoption in china, he was adopted by a man who then sold him   
Tingyan Chong: it looks like the person he was bought by took a kidney before dumping him in front of an orphanage in america

Kun Qian: oh

Tingyan Chong: quite the revelation, huh?

Kun Qian: very much so

Tingyan Chong: i’m currently looking into his real parents right now, so i’ll get back to you when i find out more about then

Kun Qian: thank you so much elkie

Tingyan Chong: don’t mention it

**[Tingyan Chong is offline]**

**11:11**   
**[Today, 23:11]**

**[princess yue is online]**

princess yue: 🙏 

**[johnny appleseed, yuTA, kung-fu, and ten others are online]**

renning: 🙏 

kung-fu: 🙏 

jenna: 🙏 

jaemming: 🙏 

hockey hyuck: 🙏 

yuTA: 🙏 

jungle: 🙏 

uknow: 🙏 

kun man: 🙏 

sheepsheep: 🙏 

johnny appleseed: 🙏 

number: 🙏 

soupcheng: 🙏 

jaemming: oh jeno how lovely that you decided to join us tonight

hockey hyuck: don’t you live in the same dorm  
hockey hyuck: wouldn’t you know if he was awake

jaemming: au contraire  
jaemming: he hides under his blanket

jenna: it’s comfier

jaemming: i still don’t know how you breathe but whatever floats your boat dude

soupcheng: i can barely breathe in regular air tbh

sheepsheep: same i choke so much on nothing it’s like i was never taught how to breathe

johnny appleseed: jeno you just  
johnny appleseed: stay under the blanket all night?

jenna: yeah pretty much

renning: how have you not suffocated yet

jenna: it’s a talent

yuTA: why do you 

jenna: i said it was comfier :/  
jenna: and my father used to do random bedroom checks at night so i had to get used to hiding my phone  
jenna: altho usually i’m asleep pretty quickly

uknow: i feel like that’s cause you pass out from lack of oxygen

jenna: details  
jenna: ignore me  
jenna: rare for kun to lurk

kung-fu: sorry lol i got sidetracked 

**[kung-fu (admin) has added Mark Lee to the chat!]**

kung-fu: that’s the only reason i’m here  
kung-fu: don’t stay up too late you brats

**[kung-fu is offline]**

yuTA: fake he didn’t even say anything before he dipped

princess yue: to be fair i wouldn’t want to be here for long either

hockey hyuck: ∑(ﾟﾛﾟ〃)

princess yue: i’m just kidding

johnny appleseed: how are your brothers?

princess yue: they’re good  
princess yue: bin is psyched to take over the company

jungle: what about jehyun?

princess yue: he’s pretty happy  
princess yue: i’m actually helping him dye his hair rn

number: what color?

princess yue: split with a really vibrant red and black

number: send pictures when it’s done

princess yue: aite

jenna: just out of curiosity how old are your brothers

princess yue: bin is a college junior and jehyun is a sophomore

yuTA: ah so they’re babies

jaemming: everyone is a baby compared to you old man

yuTA: gasp!  
yuTA: how could you do this to me

renning: i don’t see a lie though

yuTA: i’m not even that much older than you guys

sheepsheep: you’re in your 20s that seems pretty old to me

number: oh god i keep forgetting that you guys aren’t in your 20s yet

kun man: babies

sheepsheep: shut up old man

kun man: make me ;)

sheepsheep: catch a case you old fart

johnny appleseed: y-you guys realize that you’re both legal

sheepsheep: nope i’m actually only 9

kun man: chill

sheepsheep: there’s a lot you don’t know about me  
sheepsheep: like how i’m actually a female

kun man: yOU MCFUCKIN WHAT

hockey hyuck: love the difference between kunhang finding out that yangyang is only 9 vs him finding out that yangyang is a woman

kun man: i can’t possibly be  
kun man: *whispers* heterosexual  
kun man: that’s a direct attack on my person  
kun man: how could you betray me like this yangyang  
kun man: is that even your real name

sheepsheep: that’s for me to know and for you to not find out

kun man: was it all a lie?  
kun man: have you been acting for the past year?

sheepsheep: of course  
sheepsheep: you and dejun are but stepping stones on my path to success

kun man: ...you’re kidding right

sheepsheep: ofc i am  
sheepsheep: love you MWAH

kun man: ( ˘ ³˘)♥  
kun man: love you too

jenna: you guys are so cute wtf

jaemming: frfr 

renning: it’s all fun and games until you scroll up and see that kunhang told yang to make him shut up with a winky face

soupcheng: xiaohenyang being soft?  
soupcheng: it’s fake  
soupcheng: they always have something in mind

jungle: noted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah jisung is adopted ∑(ﾟﾛﾟ〃) what's the deal with this eunhwa person? i couldn't tell you. i might fuck around and make it a plot hole haha
> 
> f for jisung's kidney ig


	22. thursday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jaemin: so how do you intend to outdo the upperclassmen  
> jaemin: who have money and cars
> 
> yangyang: i have an idea
> 
> mark: why do i feel like i won’t like where there is going

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 11:11  
> Taeil: princess yue  
> Johnny: johnny appleseed  
> Taeyong: teayong  
> Yuta: yuTA  
> Kun: kung-fu  
> Doyoung: dingdong  
> Ten: number  
> Jaehyun: uknow  
> Sicheng: soupcheng  
> Jungwoo: jungle  
> Yukhei: yukas  
> Mark: markus  
> Xiaojun: of july  
> Kunhang: kun man  
> Renjun: renning  
> Jeno: jenna  
> Donghyuck: hockey hyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemming  
> Yangyang: sheepsheep  
> Chenle: angel le  
> Jisung: jwisung
> 
> young people  
> Jungwoo: jungwoo  
> Yukhei: yukhei  
> Mark: mark  
> Xiaojun: dejun  
> Kunhang: kunhang  
> Renjun: renjun  
> Jeno: jeno  
> Donghyuck: donghyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemin  
> Yangyang: yangyang  
> Chenle: chenle  
> Jisung: jisung
> 
> the children  
> Chenle: lele  
> Jisung: sungie
> 
> momo but with a glock  
> Taeil: iroh  
> Johnny: katara  
> Taeyong: aang  
> Yuta: bumi  
> Kun: zuko  
> Doyoung: toph  
> Ten: sokka  
> Jaehyun: appa  
> Sicheng: azula

**11:11** **  
****[Today, 8:31]**

**[princess yue and soupcheng are online]**

soupcheng: guess who’s finally on the flight back   
soupcheng: FINALLY 

princess yue: sorry!! i won’t be able to see them again for god knows how long 

soupcheng: we were almost late!

princess yue: sorry!

**[teayong, yuTA, kung-fu, and nine others are online]**

teayong: stay safe!

angel le: did you at least enjoy your time in korea?

princess yue: i did! idk about sicheng

soupcheng: it was alright  
soupcheng: i missed you guys tho

yuTA: 🥺 i missed you too

dingdong: he probably wasn’t talking about you 

yuTA: rude

soupcheng: i missed all of you :/

dingdong: yea ik it was a joke

jungle: when do you think you’ll be back

soupcheng: i think we’ll be back around 10 ish?

yukas: yall need a ride

soupcheng: nah  
soupcheng: taeil’s cousin is picking us up

jwisung: gotdamn how many cousins do you have

princess yue: not that many  
princess yue: it’s the same one who was giving me my schoolwork

angel le: and who’s that

princess yue: jongup

markus: jongup is your cousin??

dingdong: this is news to me

princess yue: literally just look at the last name lol

of july: who’s jongup?

jwisung: the goat

teayong: he’s just a senior that’s pretty well known for being one of the ‘hottest men on campus’

kun man: ah i see

renning: that i’m icy

soupcheng: okay time for airplane mode

princess yue: see you guys in a little bit!

jwisung: have a safe flight!

angel le: don’t die!

soupcheng: will try our best

**[princess yue and soupcheng are offline]**

**young people** **  
****[Today, 12:22]**

**[yukhei, dejun, kunhang, and one other are online]**

yangyang: shall we

dejun: go ahead

**[mark, renjun, jeno, and four others are online]**

renjun: what’s going on

 **[yangyang (admin) has removed chenle from the chat]**   
******[yangyang (admin) has added Jungwoo Kim to the chat!]**

yangyang: there

jisung: why would you kick chenle :/

kunhang: we have to outdo the upperclassmen

jeno: jungwoo is an upperclassman tho?

yukhei: he is an underclassman in spirit

Jungwoo Kim: i’m honored

**[Jungwoo Kim has changed Jungwoo Kim’s name to jungwoo]**

jaemin: so how do you intend to outdo the upperclassmen  
jaemin: who have money and cars

yangyang: i have an idea

mark: why do i feel like i won’t like where there is going

**the children** **  
****[Today, 12:24[**

lele: why did i get kicked :(

sungie: idk

lele: that was fake of them smh

sungie: it's ok  
sungie: also you wanna hang out with me and a few friends?

lele: who's going?

sungie: me samuel taehyun hyejoo and yeojin

lele: where are you going?

sungie: we're gonna go to a park near hyejoo’s house to chill

lele: alright i’ll go

sungie: great i’m gonna come pick you up

lele: okay i’ll see you then

sungie: :)) can't wait

lele: ^3^

**momo but with a glock** **  
****[Today, 14:48]**

**[katara, aang, bumi, and four others are online]**

appa: so there’s no way that the kids haven’t started planning to outdo us

bumi: oh ye for sure

sokka: i tried asking yang about what they were doing and he refused to tell me

aang: even tho we’re all going to be together

toph: shh let them have their fun

katara: we have to beat them smh  
katara: i would never be able to live it down if they were more extra than us

appa: it would be a lot easier if we had a mole but none of them would ever rat the others out

zuko: why does it have to be a competition ^^;

bumi: it’s just a friendly competition lol  
bumi: you know this happens every year

zuko: as long as lele doesn’t get caught in the crossfire

aang: dw they would never do anything to ruin his day  
aang: right?

katara: uh

sokka: we will certainly try our best

zuko: for some reason i can’t find myself trusting you tennie

sokka: :(

toph: if anything goes wrong you can just kick everyone out lol

zuko: yall hear that  
zuko: no trouble   
zuko: at all

katara: as his highness commands

aang: nothing will happen kun don’t worry about it 

zuko: alright only cause i trust you taeyong

sokka: not even me??  
sokka: i would never sabotage our child’s birthday

zuko: oh really now

sokka: okay that one time was an exception  
sokka: what did you expect me to do just let him spit all over the cake??

bumi: ten what did you do

sokka: on lele’s second birthday he was tryna blow out the candles but like a regular toddler he was just spitting so i got a blowdryer and blew out the candles with it

aang: why would you do that

katara: with a blowdryer???  
katara: why not just with your mouth???

sokka: jackson told me that if i used the blowdryer then all the spit would blow off too

toph: you believed him?

sokka: yea i thought he was the god of wisdom until i was like 12 don’t yall remember this

bumi: oh right

sokka: ANYWAYS  
sokka: the point is i would never mess up lele’s day

zuko: alright whatever you say 

aang: what do you guys have in mind?

appa: well…

zuko: i’m already stressed i hate you guys

appa: relax old man  
appa: all we really have to do is bury him in gifts

aang: i can bake something if you want!

toph: omg yes  
toph: a taeyong cake would be the best gift you can give him

katara: i can help?

aang: yeah ofc

katara: yay

bumi: see we won’t be that extra

zuko: sounds fake

sokka: what if we make like  
sokka: a big ass cake

toph: how big

sokka: enough to fit a person,,,?

aang: absolutely not  
aang: i’d need more than a day to prepare for that

sokka: damn

zuko: maybe another time

katara: for kun’s birthday

sokka: omg you’re right

zuko: oh god

appa: but will the cake and a lot of shit outdo whatever the kids have planned…

toph: we’ll be fine  
toph: i feel like chenle wouldn’t be the type of person to care much

bumi: wait aren’t we outnumbered

sokka: shi you right  
sokka: even with sicheng and taeil we’re still 9 to 11

aang: what about woo?

toph: jungwoo has been claimed by the children already

katara: fr??

appa: damn rip

zuko: i still don’t see why this has to be a competition

bumi: let us spoil your child

zuko: you can spoil him but i don’t want you guys to take it too far  
zuko: i know how competitive some of you get   
zuko: coughcoughjohnjaedotencoughcough

katara: i-

sokka: is he wrong tho

appa: not really

toph: i embrace the title

zuko: and yuta ish

bumi: we’ll be fine  
bumi: have a little more trust in us 

aang: give him one good reason to

katara: even you don’t trust us tyongie?

aang: eh

katara: heart❤️ been broke💔 so many times⏰ oh i dont⁉️know 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️what to believe😭mama👩👧👦say it’s my fault🙇🏻♀️it’s my fault 🙇🏻♀️I wear my heart❤️on my sleeve👕

zuko: but i remind you yet again that you guys go overboard then i will kick you out

sokka: as you command 

toph: yes sir

bumi: understood

katara: okay then :/

appa: fine

**the children** **  
****[Today, 19:43]**

**[lele is online]**

lele: i still can’t believe that you guys did that

**[sungie is online]**

sungie: did you like the surprise at least?

lele: ofc i did  
lele: i just   
lele: you guys really set up a party for me

sungie: we wanted to do it tomorrow but everyone said that they would probably be a in food coma from thanksgiving  
sungie: yeojin said we should do something for you

lele: i can’t believe that even hyejoo participated :’)  
lele: i really worry whether i bore her during programming

sungie: nope  
sungie: she actually complimented your work the first week after you guys met

lele: omg O////O

sungie: i bet you’re very good

lele: you flatter me too much

sungie: i’m just saying the truth

lele: you really do so much for me thank you jisungie

sungie: ofc ofc you’re my best friend and you deserve everything i can give you and more

lele: (๑o̴̶̷̥᷅﹏o̴̶̷̥᷅๑)  
lele: and the bracelet you gave me 

sungie: you’re okay with it being a womens thing?

lele: ofc i am  
lele: but this shit looks real!!

sungie: you think i would give you some cheap fake gold??  
sungie: nah

lele: add in the price of the gold, the topaz, and the amethyst  
lele: how much did you even spend on this?

sungie: that’s for me to know and you to never find out   
sungie: but even then it wasn’t that much   
sungie: i’m sure there are better ones out there that i couldn’t get

lele: but even this is beautiful  
lele: i love it

sungie: i’m really glad you do

lele: did you get the amethyst cause of your birthday?

sungie: ...perhaps?

lele: cute

sungie: no u

lele: i really do love it  
lele: no offense to the rest of my family but this might be the best gift i’ve ever gotten

sungie: omg really?

lele: yeah

sungie: thank god   
sungie: i was so worried whether you would like it or not or if it was weird putting on the amethyst but ig it turned out well

lele: the amethyst is the best part

sungie: ?

lele: cause it’ll remind me of you  
lele: in the rare scenario that i forget who gave me this i can look at it and remember that oh it was jisungie 

sungie: O_O  
sungie: if you're goal is to me look like a tomato then you've succeeded 

lele: that wasn't the goal but it’s definitely a bonus  
lele: cutie

sungie: not cute  
sungie: you are

lele: i am aren't i

sungie: yes absolutely

lele: i’ll be even cuter with the ice on my wrist given to me by a cutie

sungie: a clementine gave you the bracelet

lele: no!

sungie: i’m not cute i’m a manly man

lele: adorable

sungie: stop it!

lele: not until you admit that you’re cute

sungie: never

lele: i’m just gonna keep calling you cute until you accept it

sungie: i will never

lele: so i guess i’ll just say it every time i see or talk to you

sungie: no

lele: yes

sungie: fine ig i’m cute

lele: ( ＾∇＾) yes you are

sungie: sigh

lele: you are!  
lele: you really are ( ˘ ³˘)♥

sungie: thank you lele

lele: of course  
lele: you deserve all the compliments in the world

sungie: lol taehyun is looking at us funny

lele: so are the rest of them  
lele: maybe we should stop texting?

sungie: that sounds like a plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [the bracelet that Jisung got for Chenle](https://www.jewlr.com/products/JWLB0132-2/14k-white-gold-generations-2-stone-bezel-set-mother's-bracelet?shopfeed=1&s1=12BTPZ&s2=02AMTH&sku=14KW&gclid=CjwKCAjwmrn5BRB2EiwAZgL9osFNq_9Roec7Ms0yby3pCW-6wwrvJb7gc6cBwFjFwwK0C3QeI8gc7hoCnfEQAvD_BwE)


	23. friday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> angel le: hush number i am the incarnation of adorable
> 
> jenna: i’m never going to let the sugar daddy convo die
> 
> jwisung: unless you die
> 
> jenna: Σ(゜ロ゜;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 11:11  
> Taeil: princess yue  
> Johnny: johnny appleseed  
> Taeyong: teayong  
> Yuta: yuTA  
> Kun: kung-fu  
> Doyoung: dingdong  
> Ten: number  
> Jaehyun: uknow  
> Sicheng: soupcheng  
> Jungwoo: jungle  
> Yukhei: yukas  
> Mark: markus  
> Xiaojun: of july  
> Kunhang: kun man  
> Renjun: renning  
> Jeno: jenna  
> Donghyuck: hockey hyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemming  
> Yangyang: sheepsheep  
> Chenle: angel le  
> Jisung: jwisung
> 
> young people  
> Jungwoo: jungwoo  
> Yukhei: yukhei  
> Mark: mark  
> Xiaojun: dejun  
> Kunhang: kunhang  
> Renjun: renjun  
> Jeno: jeno  
> Donghyuck: donghyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemin  
> Yangyang: yangyang  
> Chenle: chenle  
> Jisung: jisung
> 
> Nohyuckmin  
> Jeno: no  
> Donghyuck: hyuck  
> Jaemin: min

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 0:00]**

**[princess yue, johnny appleseed, teayong, and eighteen others are online]**

kung-fu: happy birthday lele!

number: happy birthday!!

soupcheng: happy birthday

jenna: congrats on becoming legal!

kun man: 🎉🎉🎉

teayong: happy birthday chenle!

dingdong: happy birthday kiddo

princess yue: happy birthday!

yuTA: happy birthday 🎉

yukas: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

jungle: happy birthday!!

of july: happy 18th birthday lele!

jaemming: happy birthday!

sheepsheep: happy birthday lele good luck with 18

hockey hyuck: happy birthday legend

uknow: happy birthday chenle!

renning: happy birthday brat you can now go to big people jail

johnny appleseed: happy birthday!

markus: happy birthday chenle!!!

jwisung: haha losers i got to say it in person i beat all of you

angel le: thank you guys ೭੧(❛▿❛✿)੭೨

jaemming: jisung you’re with chenle at this time Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑)

jwisung: yes perhaps   
jwisung: relax it’s thanksgiving break i can do what i want

jaemming: your parents are okay with this?

jwisung: yeah mom met chenle earlier and she apparently trusts him already

jenna: that’s a first

jwisung: ikr

angel le: i’m just that awesome ig 

renning: more like we raised you to get on people’s good side

angel le: but i’m actually able to do it

renning: somewhat

angel le: hey :(

johnny appleseed: any special requests for activities lele?

angel le: nope!   
angel le: as long as i get to be around everyone i’m fine with anything!

dingdong: you’re so cute

number: only sometimes

angel le: hush number i am the incarnation of adorable

jenna: i’m never going to let the sugar daddy convo die

jwisung: unless you die

jenna: Σ(゜ロ゜;)

renning: no killing anyone

of july: you’re the last person i wanna hear that from 

kun man: neither of your opinions are valid when it comes to killing

uknow: why

yukas: cause they’re too small to be able to kill anyone lol

renning: you may have the height advantage but your knees don’t

of july: ^

teayong: why is china line so violent

princess yue: who knows at this point

jungle: but it’s not like chenle can be jisung’s sugar daddy anymore

angel le: nothing’s stopping me from randomly sending him money   
angel le: we just won’t have    
angel le: sugar

markus: but jisung is turning 18 in a few months so it would be okay

jaemming: are you supporting this???

markus: i mean i don’t see a problem once jisung is legal   
markus: altho they’re only like two months apart

hockey hyuck: to be fair there’s not really much wrong with it   
hockey hyuck: as long as like   
hockey hyuck: no one is being taken advantage of

markus: yes my thoughts exactly

soupcheng: you children should get to sleep tho   
soupcheng: children as in chenji

angel le: absolutely not

jwisung: no

angel le: it’s only midnight why would we go to sleep this early 

soupcheng: cause it’s healthy to sleep proper hours

jwisung: actually in adolescents melatonin is released later at night than it is for adults, making it harder for teens to fall asleep at ‘normal times’, aka the circadian rhythm that causes people to be awake during the day and asleep at night

teayong: aite whatever

angel le: ayyy

jwisung: ayy

hockey hyuck: nerd 

jwisung: hey >:( it's just common knowledge

jaemming: jisung that is very much not common knowledge 

jwisung: well it should be it is very important to know

soupcheng: you two better not stay up too late

angel le: it’s only 12!

soupcheng: idc   
soupcheng: i’ll sic jun on you

angel le: oh hell nah

jwisung: good night everyone!

kung-fu: good night children

teayong: sleep well

**[angel le and jwisung are offline]**

**young people** **  
** **[Today, 0:14]**

yangyang: hen you got the shit right

kunhang: yeah

jungwoo: me and yukhei already have the distraction ready

yukhei: it’ll keep the upperclassmen for at least two hours

jeno: at this point i’m scared to ask

jaemin: me too

renjun: as long as we don’t get in trouble

donghyuck: you guys will be fine   
donghyuck: jungwoo is smart about this kind of stuff

jungwoo: thank you for trusting me

mark: i have secured a ride from amy at 2   
mark: you guys will have to get to my dorm before then

kunhang: can i ask who amy is

mark: ah right   
mark: she’s my cousin

dejun: oh   
dejun: can she drive well

mark: well enough 

yangyang: why does that not sound reassuring   
yangyang: whatever tho 

jaemin: so xiaohenyang and markhyuck will go to lele’s house and me jeno and renjun have to drag the kids out right?

dejun: yeah pretty much

jeno: that won’t be hard at all :/

renjun: lure them out with food or something   
renjun: i know that lele will come running if you offer to buy him popeyes   
renjun: and with him will come jisung

jungwoo: i feel like we forget that jisung is still in this gc

yukhei: oh shoot he is

mark: i mean he should be asleep rn so we can talk about whatever

donghyuck: would jisung ever go to sleep this early

jeno: you say that as if he doesn’t have the most normal sleep schedule out of everyone

dejun: he does doesn’t he   
dejun: it’s not fair

kunhang: i miss the days when i had a proper sleep schedule

jaemin: don’t we all

jeno: ah those were the days

yukhei: sucks to be you guys doesn’t it

mark: i have a decent sleep schedule so i don’t think i can complain

yangyang: neither can you dejun   
yangyang: stop talking as if you stay up past 12

dejun: what??   
dejun: are you forgetting literally every single day before we came to the us

kunhang: oh yeah lol

jungwoo: was it bad

yukhei: very bad

renjun: he used to not come home and sleep for days   
renjun: i think even one time we didn’t see him for a whole ass month

dejun: that S U C K E D   
dejun: i could barely keep my eyes open when i got back

jaemin: what on earth were you even doing for a month

dejun: working

jeno: working?

donghyuck: you have a job?

dejun: all of china line works for chenle’s family

mark: oh frfr?

kunhang: yeah lol   
kunhang: but that month was the worst    
kunhang: couldn’t even talk to him

yangyang: i thought i would die of loneliness

kunhang: ikr   
kunhang: ily but there was no variety

yangyang: yeah…

dejun: anyways the point is you can’t make fun of me for sleeping regularly

yangyang: okay okay

kunhang: only cause you’re babie

dejun: damn right

**[jisung is online]**

jaemin: why are you awake

jisung: only to mute the chat

jeno: sleep well kiddo

jisung: thanks you too

**[jisung is offline]**

jungwoo: should we get to sleep too   
jungwoo: we need all the energy we can get for the party

mark: yes that seems like a good idea

dejun: good night then!

renjun: good night you fucking geezers

yangyang: good night!!

yukhei: for the ones i know are staying up don’t stay up too late

donghyuck: no promises!

jaemin: sleep is for the weak

jeno: good night everyone!

kunhang: good night!

**[jungwoo, yukhei, mark, and four others are offline]**

**nohyuckmin** **  
** **[Today, 0:42]**

hyuck: so how are you two feeling about tomorrow

no: wdym

min: like do we think it’ll turn out well?

hyuck: yeah ig

min: i think it’ll be okay

no: depends on what woo and yukhei have planned for their distraction

min: i mean as long as they don’t set anything on fire right?

hyuck: knowing woo…

no: let’s just trust in him and yukhei   
no: hope nothing burns down

hyuck: what are you two gonna do to get the kids out?

min: probably just do what renjun said   
min: lure lele out with food

no: where would we even bring them?

min: ...the dorm?

no: sure ig   
no: it’s a mess tho

min: eh   
min: it’s nothing jisung hasn’t seen before

no: but renjun is coming too   
no: and chenle*

hyuck: you literally forgot about the birthday boy

no: leave me alone

hyuck: 👀

no: what is that for

min: it’s okay they can deal with it   
min: maybe we get a ride to tysons or summ

no: from who   
no: my car is being fixed rn

min: jihyo ig?   
min: i think she’s going out with her bf near that area

no: what good date spots are near there…

min: they’re going with friends

no: even then there’s like no actually good spots

min: you just don’t eat anything there   
min: tgif is pretty good

hyuck: feeling kind of left out

no: sorry hyuckie :(

hyuck: disgusting   
hyuck: i can feel the puppy eyes from here

no: :(

hyuck: d i s g u s t i n g

min: don’t call him disgusting >:(   
min: i’ll step on you

hyuck: okay beanpole

min: shut up >:(

no: don’t call him a beanpole >:(

hyuck: are you two ganging up on me rn

no: noooo

min: where did you get that idea

hyuck: man fuck you both

min: gay

no: i mean if you’re up for it

hyuck: no

no: damn

hyuck: jaemin we are literally all gay

min: all of us???

hyuck: unless you have something to tell me?????

min: did you mean us three or all of nct???

hyuck: all of nct i think????   
hyuck: sicheng yukhei and chenle i have no evidence but they seem a little fruity

no: renjun too???

hyuck: b r u h   
hyuck: maybe if you two weren’t so busy staring into each other’s eyes on wednesday at kft you would’ve heard it   
hyuck: but 👀   
hyuck: are you interested

no: perhaps

hyuck: damn how does that feel jaemin

min: i mean 👀   
min: taste

hyuck: 👁️👄👁️   
hyuck: don’t you two like each other   
hyuck: why don’t you do something about that first

no: !!!

min: 

hyuck: wait what   
hyuck: am i wrong

no: ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

hyuck: fuck did i make things weird

min: nah   
min: you heard him nono   
min: how about we do something

no: sure

min: alright?

no: alright

hyuck: what in the ACTUAL FUCK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have my first class in like seven hours but instead of sleeping i'm updating this lol  
> ik that i didn't really give yall a lot of nomin and i'm sorry but i had to get them together before the next set of events in order to start norenmin please forgive me


	24. friday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> roller coaster: is this bullying?  
> roller coaster: i think so
> 
> stay tonight: hush you overgrown watermelon 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there are kind of a lot of chats
> 
> nohyuckmin  
> Jeno: no  
> Donghyuck: hyuck  
> Jaemin: min
> 
> kidz bop  
> Jeno: jen  
> Jaemin: jaem
> 
> kim chungha enthusiasts  
> Mark: roller coaster  
> Donghyuck: stay tonight
> 
> 11:11  
> Taeil: princess yue  
> Johnny: johnny appleseed  
> Taeyong: teayong  
> Yuta: yuTA  
> Kun: kung-fu  
> Doyoung: dingdong  
> Ten: number  
> Jaehyun: uknow  
> Sicheng: soupcheng  
> Jungwoo: jungle  
> Yukhei: yukas  
> Mark: markus  
> Xiaojun: of july  
> Kunhang: kun man  
> Renjun: renning  
> Jeno: jenna  
> Donghyuck: hockey hyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemming  
> Yangyang: sheepsheep  
> Chenle: angel le  
> Jisung: jwisung
> 
> young people  
> Jungwoo: jungwoo  
> Yukhei: yukhei  
> Mark: mark  
> Xiaojun: dejun  
> Kunhang: kunhang  
> Renjun: renjun  
> Jeno: jeno  
> Donghyuck: donghyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemin  
> Yangyang: yangyang  
> Chenle: chenle  
> Jisung: jisung
> 
> the duck song  
> Dejun: man  
> Kunhang: duck  
> Yangyang: grapes
> 
> pink haired icons  
> Jaemin: bubblegum  
> Jisung: mold
> 
> momo but with a glock  
> Taeil: iroh  
> Johnny: katara  
> Taeyong: aang  
> Yuta: bumi  
> Kun: zuko  
> Doyoung: toph  
> Ten: sokka  
> Jaehyun: appa  
> Sicheng: azula

**nohyuckmin** **  
****[Today, 1:08]**

hyuck: what in the ACTUAL FUCK

min: why are you so surprised  
min: you’re the one who just told us to do something

hyuck: yeah well i didn’t think you would just   
hyuck: do it like that

no: i mean we were sorta planning on it

min: preferably i would yknow  
min: have something fancy but oh well   
min: i’ll do it another day

hyuck: oh my god  
hyuck: wait wdym planning on it

no: well we ain’t stupid

min: we knew that we liked each other  
min: but kunten got together recently and we wanted to give them their time in the spotlight 

hyuck: what the fuck  
hyuck: of all the things to be considerate about

no: but oh well  
no: what’s done is done right babe?

min: right  
min: anyways onto our next target

no: right

hyuck: you guys moved on so quickly…  
hyuck: but congrats!!!   
hyuck: are you going to tell anyone?

min: what do you think nono  
min: idc either way

no: neither do i  
no: but since it’s lele’s birthday   
no: let’s just say if anyone asks we’ll tell but we won’t announce until saturday

min: sounds like a plan

hyuck: are you gonna tell renjun at least

min: if he asks ig

no: actually  
no: can we not tell renjun

min: ?

no: sorry hyuck i wanna talk about this with jaemin separately

hyuck: it’s okay dw about it  
hyuck: i’m wishing for your happiness

min: thanks hyuck

hyuck: np  
hyuck: don’t stay up too late

no: no promises

min: gn

hyuck: gn

**[hyuck is offline]**

**kidz bop** **  
****[Today, 1:10]**

jen: i would talk out loud but you know how wonwoo’s hearing is and how thin the walls are

jaem: yeah that’s fine  
jaem: but is something wrong?

jen: do you like renjun?  
jen: like actually like him?

jaem: jeno…

jen: i won’t like you any less   
jen: i just wanna know

jaem: i could  
jaem: right now it’s more infatuation than anything   
jaem: but in the future i definitely could   
jaem: why?

jen: i think i do  
jen: i really think i do

jaem: i’m happy for you baby  
jaem: but is there a reason you don’t want to tell renjun?

jen: i don’t want to ruin the slim chance we might have with him

jaem: what?

jen: if we tell him right off the bat that we’re dating don’t you think he’ll be put off a little bit?  
jen: in the rare occasion that he likes us telling him would be the equivalent of telling him to back off   
jen: that’s what i think anyway but idk

jaem: we can just explain to him  
jaem: he’s been friends with dejun kunhang and yang for how long?   
jaem: i’m sure he knows how polyamory works and he won’t be mad

jen: i guess

jaem: but if you don’t want to tell him then we won’t  
jaem: but what if one of the others tells him?

jen: we ask them not to  
jen: god i’m so sorry   
jen: we just got together and i’m already being high-maintenance

jaem: jeno if this is high maintenance then you’re going to break up with me by morning bc of my needs  
jaem: and i understand where you’re coming from   
jaem: i do   
jaem: so don’t worry okay?

jen: okay

jaem: great i’m jumping over to your bed

jen: no please

jaem: ya yeet

jen: cOME DOWN FROM YOUR BED DON’T JUMP ACROSS THE ROOM  
jen: JAEMIN

**kim chungha enthusiasts** **  
****[Today, 1:10]**

stay tonight: are you asleep

**[roller coaster is online]**

roller coaster: no  
roller coaster: what’s up?

stay tonight: i’m lonely

roller coaster: :(  
roller coaster: why   
roller coaster: you jaemin and jeno didn’t go offline are they not talking to you

stay tonight: they were but they wanted to talk privately about something

roller coaster: Σ(-᷅_-᷄ )  
roller coaster: that’s not cash money of them

stay tonight: it’s okay ig  
stay tonight: are you trying to sleep?

roller coaster: not really  
roller coaster: i have to keep you from being lonely

stay tonight: can i ask you a question?  
stay tonight: you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to

roller coaster: go ahead

stay tonight: johnny and doyoung didn’t tell me much but they said that you were struggling with something mentally  
stay tonight: is everything okay?

stay tonight: you know it’s okay  
stay tonight: let’s talk about something else

roller coaster: i’m sorry

stay tonight: don’t be  
stay tonight: i was just a little curious but i understand if you don’t want to tell me

roller coaster: still i’m sorry

stay tonight: i said don’t be sorry!  
stay tonight: i’m always here for you if you ever want to talk

roller coaster: okay  
roller coaster: this was supposed to be me helping you not be lonely how did it turn out like this   
roller coaster: sorry

stay tonight: you’re helping me plenty dw

roller coaster: am i really

stay tonight: you are  
stay tonight: stop doubting yourself

roller coaster: sorry

stay tonight: say sorry one more time i dare you

roller coaster: or what

stay tonight: i’ll break into your dorm with a chainsaw and make you stop

roller coaster: you’d subject chan to that

stay tonight: i’ll tell him to evacuate

roller coaster: if he evacuates then i do too

stay tonight: then ig neither of you get to leave

roller coaster: is this bullying?  
roller coaster: i think so

stay tonight: hush you overgrown watermelon 

roller coaster: this is bullying i’m going to call the police

stay tonight: you can call whoever you want but it won’t help you

roller coaster: please spare me

stay tonight: then don’t apologize to me okay?

roller coaster: okay

stay tonight: i could hear your struggle to not say sorry

roller coaster: i’m glad you could lol cause i was struggling a lot 

stay tonight: good job i’m proud of you

roller coaster: thank you

stay tonight: how tired are you?

roller coaster: it’s not that bad  
roller coaster: why?

stay tonight: i want to know how late i can keep you up

roller coaster: i can stay up as late as you want me to

stay tonight: okay bet

**11:11** **  
****[Today, 11:11]**

**[princess yue, teayong, angel le, and one other are online]**

princess yue: 🙏 

teayong: 🙏 

jwisung: 🙏 

angel le: 🙏 

**[dingdong and uknow are online]**

uknow: 🙏 

dingdong: 🙏 

teayong: children please tell me that you’ve eaten breakfast 

angel le: 

jwisung: 

princess yue: i’m willing to bet they just woke up

uknow: why would they wake up early when they don’t have to go to school

dingdong: do you have food at home

angel le: ofc i do  
angel le: would i even be asian if i didn’t have at least a box of ramen and five containers of spam for emergencies

teayong: true true

uknow: make sure you at least eat lunch

jwisung: we will try our best

dingdong: it’s just you two at home?

angel le: yep   
angel le: don’t worry we’ll just order delivery

teayong: i think i will always be worried but alright

**young people** **  
****[Today, 11:17]**

**[renjun, jeno, and jaemin are online]**

jaemin: yo chenji forget about that ordering in thing 

jisung: what

jeno: we’re gonna take you two out at like two ish

jisung: why

jeno: can’t we take you out for lunch

jisung: but won’t we eat dinner together?

renjun: tell chenle i’ll buy him popeyes if he comes out with us

jisung: he says okay bet  
jisung: i feel like we’re being led into a trap

jaemin: dw about it jisungie

jisung: when i hear it from you it makes me worry even more

jaemin: what??? why???  
jaemin: why do you have so little trust in me??

jisung: idk if you’ve realized but…  
jisung: you’re very suspicious

jaemin: wtf is this  
jaemin: i didn’t ask to be attacked like this

renjun: he’s not that bad you guys are just mean

jeno: fr >:(  
jeno: leave him alone

jisung: he deserves it 

jaemin: don’t bully me tf  
jaemin: you’re being mean to the person who’s buying lunch

jisung: it’s chenle  
jisung: i’m sure that renjun would pay if i asked him   
jisung: right? ;))))))

renjun:   
renjun: i don’t like this

jisung: so would you or would you not

renjun: i like having a job so yes

jisung: right answer

jeno: isn’t this like blackmail

jaemin: chenle is being a tyrant

jisung: as if he doesn’t get paid like $200 an hour

jeno: he wHAT

renjun: considering that i only work like two hours a month that isn’t that much

jisung: that one month 👀

renjun: that one month was different

jaemin: what happened during that one month

jisung: this bitch made a lot more than 200 i’ll tell you that

renjun: but i worked a lot more than my usual two hours  
renjun: i was out for the whole month if you don’t remember

jisung: yeah yeah details  
jisung: it’s jisung again is it just me who wants to know how much renjun made

jeno: no

jaemin: no

**[jungwoo, yukhei, mark, and four others are online]**

yangyang: yeah junnie tell them how much you made

renjun: do you want to be strangled on chenle’s birthday

yangyang: maybe i want to be the center of attention

jisung: chenle again  
jisung: :/

jungwoo: how much did you make?

jisung: i love how everyone came all at once

yukhei: yes renjun tell us

renjun: you already know how much asdkfjasldfa

dejun: but the rest of us don’t

renjun: you made the same amount as me dejun stfu

donghyuck: damn the jun’s be making bank

dejun: my pockets do be full 24/7

kunhang: way to flex

dejun: as if half my salary doesn’t go towards you and yang

yangyang: and i’m forever grateful

dejun: you should be

mark: still waiting on how much you made renjun

renjun: no

jisung: well if you don’t tell them i will

renjun: no wtf

jaemin: yes lele spill the tea

renjun: please don’t encourage this

donghyuck: why don’t you want us to know???

renjun: no comment

jungwoo: see there’s no problem tell us chenle

jisung: USD $6.2 million

jeno: WHAT THE FUCK

mark: i can’t believe there are people out there making this much

donghyuck: what the fuck were you even doing during this month  
donghyuck: what kind of fucking job pays you that much i’d like to be hired thank you

renjun: you don’t want to trust me

donghyuck: i need m o n e y renjun

renjun: then get a job???

donghyuck: i am not going to make 6 million a month working at some trashy retail store 

renjun: i usually make like 400 a month please leave me alone

mark: i’m very curious as to what the jun’s do for a living

jungwoo: me too tf   
jungwoo: iron age could never

dejun: we rob banks

jeno: i mean that makes sense

jaemin: if i help you rob them will you give me money

renjun: you don’t need to help   
renjun: if you need money then i can just give it to you

jaemin: O_O

yangyang: me too??

renjun: hoodie but without the hoo

yangyang: aite bet

kunhang: nO

dejun: renjun please don’t tell yang to die you know he’ll do it 

renjun: no fun

yangyang: no fun

yukhei: it’s not no fun they’re trying to keep you from dying yang

renjun: no fun

yangyang: no fun  
yangyang: i say let me die

renjun: i second that

dejun: stop yangyang

kunhang: you’re not allowed to die then i’ll be stuck with jun

dejun: hey wtf  
dejun: this is so mean and cruel i’m gonna go cry now

jungwoo: don’t make the baby cry

yukhei: there is no way in hell that dejun is a baby

dejun: you’re right   
dejun: i am not a baby   
dejun: i am babie

**[yangyang (admin) has removed dejun from the chat]**

**the duck song** **  
****[Today, 11:46]**

man: you know i remember a time just a few hours ago when kunhang called me babie so wtf

duck: i take it back

man: fuck you both

grapes: i mean if you want to go ahead

**pink haired icons** **  
****[Today, 14:03]**

**[bubblegum is online]**

bubblegum: yo we’re pulling up rn wya

**[mold is online]**

mold: otw

bubblegum: okay bet

**momo but with a glock** **  
****[Today, 14:21]**

**[iroh, katara, aang, and six others are online]**

toph: update please kun and yong

zuko: xiaohenyang are at chenle’s house  
zuko: yukhei is at the school for some reason   
zuko: chenle and renjun are at lil thingamajigs

aang: i don’t have jungwoo and jeno’s location  
aang: but jaemin and jisung are with renjun and chenle   
aang: and markhyuck are also at chenle’s house

bumi: what on earth is yukhei doing at the school  
bumi: doesn’t he hate it there

azula: where is he exactly?

zuko: the practice rooms

sokka: i have a bad feeling about this

iroh: me too

appa: uh jungwoo is also at the practice rooms

toph: you have his location?

appa: yeah

katara: this doesn’t sound good   
katara: what on earth are they planning

**New Group Conversation** **  
** **[Today, 14:34]**

**[Jungwoo Kim (admin) has added Taeil Moon, Johnny Seo, Taeyong Lee, and seven others to the chat!]**

Jungwoo Kim: hello i have an announcement

Jaehyun Jung: what are you doing

Taeyong Lee: what’s up woo?

Jungwoo Kim: me and yukhei have actually been working on a dance for lele’s birthday   
Jungwoo Kim: so we were wondering if you guys could all come watch the last practice

Kun Qian: ah so is that why you guys are at the practice rooms

Yuk Hei Wong: yeah

Doyoung Kim: all of us?

Jungwoo Kim: yeah ^^

**momo but with a glock** **  
****[Today, 14:39]**

bumi: there’s no fucking way

sokka: no way in hell

aang: but you know that woo always likes to do extra stuff for our birthdays  
aang: maybe we should give them the benefit of the doubt?

toph: we’re going to regret this

  
  
  


_“D-Did they just lock us in the storage room?”_

_“It would seem so.”_

_“I mean, they did have that little dance though, so technically, I was right.”_

_“Taeyong, I love you, but now is not the time for that.”_

_“How long are we going to be stuck in here?”_

_“Too long.”_

_“I’m going to slit their throats once we get out.”_

_“Please not on Lele’s birthday, we don’t want to clean up blood.”_

_“That’s your problem with that sentence?”_

_“Um, guys, I hate to be a burden, but I don’t deal well with the dark…”_

_“KIM FUCKING JUNGWOO, IF YOU DON’T OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW—”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is calm before the storm 😼😼  
> can't wait for this next part god  
> HAHA ANGST
> 
> also thank you for 300+ kudos, 7000+ hits, and 100+ subscriptions I'm literally in tears right now


	25. saturday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> october: so
> 
> march: so
> 
> october: what’s wrong with you
> 
> march: i don’t like today’s vibes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chat names are pretty self explanatory  
> aHAHA sorry not sorry

**z word (now available in america!)** **  
** **[Today, 8:22]**

**[jun is online]**

jun: kun please tell me that you guys are going to clean up after yourselves

**[kun, ten, and winwin are online]**

kun: omg yes   
kun: i’m so sorry

winwin: you don’t have to worry jun we’ll have everything back to normal by the time you guys get here

jun: tyty   
jun: renjun just sent me snaps of the house and i’m pretty sure that hao was about to have a stroke

ten: it’s not that bad idk what part of the house he sent you

jun: the basement

ten: oh lol nvm then   
ten: yeah we’ll clean

jun: thank you    
jun: me hao and yanan are coming around 5 ish?

kun: okay yeah we’ll have everything done by then

jun: thank you

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 9:30]**

**[angel le is online]**

angel le: i’d like to say thank you everyone   
angel le: thank you for taking the time to plan this all out, for getting me stuff and making more food than we could finish   
angel le: i think this was my favorite birthday so far ^^

**[teayong, dingdong, yukas, and four others are online]**

teayong: it was our pleasure lele   
teayong: you’re part of the family now

dingdong: even tho jungwoo and yukhei locked us in a closet for two hours it was a really fun day 

yukas: ahaha

dingdong: i still don’t forgive you for that

yukas: at least we turned on the lights after i remembered that sicheng’s scared of the dark

dingdong: you didn’t even remember yuta screamed at you until you got it

yukas: :/ ik i’m gonna be apologizing to sicheng for the rest of my life i feel bad about it still

teayong: as you should >:(

renning: i’m glad you enjoyed yourself chenle

angel le: you guys really went all out on the decorations too

markus: that was mostly xiaohenyang and donghyuck

sheepsheep: stfu mark you helped a lot too

markus: uh huh   
markus: anyways happy birthday again chenle!

jwisung: i hope you have many more!

angel le: (´｡･v･｡｀)   
angel le: no promises but i will try my best

teayong: please don’t die

angel le: dw you guys are stuck with me for many more years

jwisung: idk about the others but i don’t really mind that

renning: ig i don’t either

angel le: gee thanks ily2 ig

renning: mwah

dingdong: if anyone minds being with you then we’re going to have a problem

sheepsheep: ^

teayong: ^^

markus: ^^^

yukas: ^^^^

angel le: you guys are the best

**the distraction team** **  
** **[Today, 10:38]**

**[xuxi is online]**

xuxi: yo btw you left your portable at chenle’s

**[woo is online]**

woo: oh thank god i thought i lost it

xuxi: you want to come here to pick it up or you want me to drop it off

woo: uhhh   
woo: are you busy?

xuxi: not really   
xuxi: if you want me to drop it off then i can

woo: could you?

xuxi: yeah ofc   
xuxi: remind me where your dorm is again?

woo: u building room 105

xuxi: okay gimme like twenty ish minutes ^_^

woo: tysm yukhei

xuxi: dw about it   
xuxi: i’ll see you then

woo: cya!

**freshies** **  
** **[Today, 12:01]**

**[march and october are online]**

october: so

march: so

october: what’s wrong with you

march: i don’t like today’s vibes

october: that’s what dejun said too   
october: you assassins just have some weird sense huh

march: how do you think we’ve survived this long

october: true   
october: can you ever predict the future

march: no one can predict the future   
march: except maybe chengxiao jie but she’s a little odd even among us

october: so you won’t be able to tell why the vibes are off until the thing happens

march: unfortunately   
march: if i had things my way we’d cancel all plans for tonight but ik that lele is looking forward to it

october: wouldn’t it be better if we were near lele tho

march: yeah i think so    
march: but usually these kinds of things only happen when we’re all assembled

october: i just don’t know what could go wrong   
october: all potential threats are neutralized and even the ones who aren’t threats haven’t spoken of anything bad

march: even the people at the mall last week?

october: they’re no one important   
october: just stupid pieces of shit who think they’re worth more than my toenail clippings

march: i might talk about it with kun

october: that’s probably best   
october: tell me what happens

march: yeah ofc   
march: i’m surprised you even noticed tho 

october: i’ve known you since we were like nine ofc i noticed lol   
october: you can hide from everyone else but you can’t hide from me

march: disgusting

october: i know you love me

march: i might

october: oh my god 

march: that’s the best you’re ever gonna get

october: i will savor whatever i can get

**renkun** **  
** **[Today, 12:10]**

renjun: hey kun ge are you busy?

**[kun is online]**

kun: not particularly   
kun: do you have a bad feeling about tonight too?

renjun: you do?

kun: not quite but i just talked to dejun about it    
kun: and xuanyi said chengxiao told her the same thing

renjun: are the admins gonna do anything?

kun: victoria said everything will continue as planned but everyone should bring protection just in case   
kun: she’ll probably formally announce it in a few minutes   
kun: we were waiting to see if you had the feeling too before saying anything

renjun: okay thank you ge

**z word (now available in america)** **  
** **[Today, 12:20]**

**[victoria, st.van, jackson, and two others are online]**

victoria: psa for tonight   
victoria: bring weapons, bring protection, and be on your guard

**[ten, handong, jun, and sixteen others are online]**

elkie: why?

st.van: nothing confirmed yet, but our assassins are getting bad vibes

xuanyi: if anything seems suspicious, tell an admin   
xuanyi: doesn’t matter how farfetched it might sound   
xuanyi: tell us

jackson: say okay if you understand

ten: okay

handong: okay

jun: okay

jacob: okay

sally: okay

yanan: okay

vivi: okay

winwin: okay

chengxiao: okay

meiqi: okay

elkie: okay

kyulkyung: okay

lucas: okay

xiaojun: okay

hendery: okay

yuqi: okay

yangyang: okay

yiren: okay

kun: any questions?

kyulkyung: what danger level are we assuming?

jackson: the jun’s and chengxiao, what do you think?

renjun: idk about the others, but i’m thinking be prepared for at least orange

xiaojun: that’s what i was thinking too

chengxiao: me as well

st.van: anyone else?

meiqi: think that’s everyone

victoria: good   
victoria: dismissed

**z word (now available in america!)** **  
** **[Today, 17:34]**

**[st.van is online]**

st.van: open up   
st.van: me jacob and jackson are here

**[jun is online]**

jun: sorry sorry   
jun: yanan is on his way   
jun: might take a minute or so

st.van: where are you guys

jun: attic   
jun: final checks on security

st.van: do you know where chenle is?

jun: he and xiaohenyang are at the block right now   
jun: they’ll come back around 7

st.van: okay   
st.van: i’ll come up to the attic to help you guys out

jun: thanks we appreciate it

st.van: no problem

**[st.van and jun are offline]**

**z word (now available in america!)** **  
** **[Today, 18:48]**

**[hendery is online]**

hendery: we’re on our way back now   
hendery: we have all our bases covered, right?

**[victoria, xuanyi, and kyulkyung are online]**

victoria: we’re in the middle of our final check right now

kyulkyung: me and st.van have already checked every system in the house at least five times

xuanyi: yuyiyan insist that they haven’t seen any suspicious activity so i think we’re okay

hendery: okay   
hendery: we’re five minutes out

victoria: see you then

**[victoria, xuanyi, kyulkyung, and one other are offline]**

**z word (now available in america!)** **  
** **[Today, 21:18]**

**[lucas is online]**

lucas:  **_@admins_ ** movement on the east side   
lucas: they’re off the property but they’re there

**[victoria, st.van, jackson, and twenty others are online]**

st.van: heading up to the attic right now

victoria: kyulkyung and yangyang, go up to the attic   
victoria: lucas, once st.van is there, show him the target then go meet up with your squad   
victoria: yuyiyan, rooftop   
victoria: the rest of st.van’s men, escort chenle somewhere safer   
victoria: the rest of you are on perimeter check

kun: understood

xuanyi: understood

jackson: understood

victoria: stay safe kids

jackson: chenle is in the basement

victoria: any suspicion from him?

jun: little to none

victoria: keep it that way   
victoria: perimeter, check in

xiaojun: west side emergency exit a is blocked off   
xiaojun: detecting metal that may or may not be pipes

meiqi: north side emergency exits b and c are buried    
meiqi: also detecting metal

handong: south side emergency staircase e is unscrewed and unstable   
handong: metal detectors also going off

victoria: east side, check in

ten: get chenle out of there, now   
ten: metal detectors are picking up something underground that is not supposed to be there

kun: it isn’t a coincidence that all the emergency exits are blocked   
kun: get him out while you can

jackson: roger   
jackson: taking him out through the middle west side bottom window

hendery: ready to provide cover if needed

victoria: st.van, yangyang, kyulkyung, prepare to make your exits as well   
victoria: makes no sense to stay there if the target hasn’t done anything yet

st.van: understood   
st.van: yangyang has almost finished identifying targets, but kyulkyung is on her way out

elkie: four targets   
elkie: i suggest that everyone evacuates

victoria: rendezvous at location gamma

st.van: understood

kun: understood

xuanyi: understood

elkie: understood

victoria: st.van, get yangyang out of there now

st.van: he needs another minute

victoria: get him out NOW.    
victoria: this is not up for debate

_ Incoming call from ‘loml hang’. _

_ Connecting… _

_ Connecting… _

_ Connecting… _

_ Call failed to connect.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i post this today cause vav comeback made me happier than i am torturing my characters  
> stream Made For Two or else yukhei uses his baseball bat collection to break your knees


	26. sunday/wednesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> princess yue: i can’t believe i fucking missed 11:11 cause my phone died  
> princess yue: anyways that’s not why i’m here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chat names are self explanatory

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 12:21]**

**[teayong is online]**

teayong: does anyone know where kun and ten are?   
teayong: i haven’t heard from them all day and they didn’t come home last night either

**[yuTA, jungle, jenna, and two others are online]**

jwisung: i haven’t heard from lele either   
jwisung: he said he would tell me what his cousins got him for his birthday

jenna: i’ve been trying to reach renjun all day but he hasn’t picked up for either me or jaemin

jungle: i tried asking yukhei about some stuff too but he hasn’t replied

yuTA: same with sicheng

teayong: how could all of them just disappear?   
teayong: i know that ten is addicted to his phone so why isn’t he answering anything?

jaemming: kind of sus

yuTA: it really is   
yuTA: it’s already noon and not a single one of them has come online at all

jungle: wait   
jungle: i think i see xuxi rn 

teayong: where are you?

jungle: in front of the v building   
jungle: he looks anxious   
jungle: brb

jenna: it’s weird that all of china line vanished

jwisung: i’m pretty sure that xiaohenyang have been gone too

teayong: what could be going on…

jungle: xuxi said that they’re all just really tired from yesterday but i don’t believe him

jaemming: why not?

jungle: he tried hiding it with makeup but he has a bunch of cuts and stuff 

**[johnny appleseed is online]**

johnny appleseed: it would seem that none of you check the news

jwisung: that’s for losers

johnny appleseed:  _ sent a video _

teayong: that’s chenle’s house.

jenna: it burned down?

jaemming: oh my god

jungle: i mean it would explain xuxi’s injuries but why aren’t the rest of them online

yuTA: don’t tell me they got hurt

johnny appleseed: report says there was no one at the site when authorities got there    
johnny appleseed: but obviously xuxi was there   
johnny appleseed: or something along those lines

jwisung: so they could all be injured right now?

johnny appleseed: it’s a possibility

teayong: we just can’t catch a break can we

yuTA: it would seem not

**the children** **  
** **[Today, 12:43]**

sungie: lele please tell me you’re okay   
sungie: your house is on the news and jungwoo said that yukhei looked beat up   
sungie: please tell me you’re okay

**[lele is online]**

lele: i’m sorry jisungie i can’t talk for long   
lele: i’m okay tho   
lele: i’ll talk to you later alright?

sungie: wait lele please

lele: sorry this can’t wait   
lele: give me a little bit

sungie: okay   
sungie: stay safe

lele: you too

**[lele is offline]**

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 23:12]**

**[princess yue is online]**

princess yue: i can’t believe i fucking missed 11:11 cause my phone died    
princess yue: anyways that’s not why i’m here

**[johnny appleseed, teayong, yuTA, and eight others are online]**

markus: what’s up

princess yue: i went to the hospital as a medical student does

dingdong: i don’t like where this is going

princess yue: guess who i see in the intensive care wing 

teayong: oh please god please don’t let it be china line

princess yue: i mean it wasn’t all of them   
princess yue: i’m sure that some of them were in different wings but   
princess yue: dejun kunhang and yukhei   
princess yue: absolutely trashed   
princess yue: didn’t even register that it was me    
princess yue: and even tho a nurse was yelling at them they just ran further into the intensive care and into another room

hockey hyuck: oh my god

uknow: why would they even be in there

jenna: the fire i guess?   
jenna: if the firefighters didn’t find anyone at the scene then why are they so beaten up?

princess yue: also   
princess yue: you know how the news doesn’t always have the full story   
princess yue: and how much gossip goes around a hospital

yuTA: what’d they say

princess yue: it apparently was an explosion?   
princess yue: i couldn’t hear much before i had to go shadow a different nurse but yeah

jaemming: what in the actual fuck

princess yue: i also saw a bunch of other students   
princess yue: they tried hiding from me but i saw them anyways   
princess yue: i even saw victoria

johnny appleseed: i thought she went back to china?

princess yue: apparently not

jwisung: who’s victoria?

teayong: an alumnus that kun and ten were really close to

markus: what on earth are they hiding from us

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 2:22]**

**[yukas is online]**

yukas: hi guys

**[jungle, hockey hyuck, and jaemming are online]**

hockey hyuck: what happened to you?

yukas: i see you guys already heard   
yukas: some of us were caught in an explosion on saturday

jungle: are you okay?

yukas: i got off easy   
yukas: i was one of the farthest from it

jaemming: what exploded?

yukas: one of the gas tanks in the basement

hockey hyuck: what about the others?

yukas: some of us were very close to it   
yukas: i’m not supposed to say who

jungle: are they recovering well?

yukas: if i’m being honest?   
yukas: no   
yukas: one was really close to the initial explosion and it’s a miracle he isn’t dead yet   
yukas: he’s just barely hanging on right now   
yukas: then three others got caught in the chain reaction   
yukas: but all of them have yet to regain consciousness

jungle: oh my god   
jungle: i’m so sorry xuxi

yukas: it’s okay   
yukas: you couldn’t have done anything about it

hockey hyuck: can any of them get visitors yet?

yukas: no   
yukas: altho i have broken that rule more times than i can count in the past two hours

jungle: wait this actually fucking sucks

hockey hyuck: i’m glad that you guys are alive tho

jaemming: me too 

yukas: thanks    
yukas: anyways i only went online to explain a little bit   
yukas: i’ll get going now

jungle: rest well and heal up >:(

yukas: okay, i will

**[yukas is offline]**

**_< time skip to wednesday, nov 27>_ **

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 18:33]**

**[soupcheng is online]**

soupcheng: hey   
soupcheng: i have a few announcements

**[princess yue, johnny appleseed, teayong, and nine others are online]**

teayong: sicheng are you okay :(

soupcheng: not really   
soupcheng: do you want the good or bad news first

markus: i want good news first idk about anyone else 

hockey hyuck: me too

yuTA: any objections?

yuTA: guess not

soupcheng: okay    
soupcheng: good news is    
soupcheng: two of them finally woke up

soupcheng: that's good!

uknow: but half are still out huh

soupcheng: fml    
soupcheng: i should’ve made vic do this for me   
soupcheng: uhm yeah that’s the good news

jenna: what’s the bad news?

soupcheng:

johnny appleseed: take your time sicheng

soupcheng: fuck    
soupcheng: um i’m giving my phone to someone else

soupcheng: Due to the lack of safety in the states, Chenle’s family has made the decision to bring Kun, Ten, Sicheng, Yukhei, Dejun, Kunhang, Renjun, Yangyang, and Chenle back to China as soon as the injured members are in a condition to travel. 

yuTA: what

teayong: wasn’t the explosion a gas tank’s fault? why would they need to go back to china?

soupcheng: Forgive me. I was not involved in the decision making process, and therefore can not tell you why the Zhong family has made the decision they did. I apologize greatly for your loss. 

johnny appleseed: it’s alright   
johnny appleseed: thank you for telling us

soupcheng: I will give the phone back to Sicheng now. My condolences. 

princess yue: thank you

soupcheng: so yeah   
soupcheng: that’s that

jwisung: sicheng is there something you’re not telling us?   
jwisung: why would chenle’s parents pull you back for a gas explosion?

soupcheng: i can’t answer that

uknow: neither of you can answer it huh   
uknow: does anyone know anything

soupcheng: i’m sorry jaehyun   
soupcheng: i don’t have a choice in this   
soupcheng: trust me, if i did, i would never ever leave, and the rest of china line feels the same   
soupcheng: but if our employer gives us an order to go back home, then that’s what we have to do   
soupcheng: i’m so sorry

markus: it’s not your fault sicheng

jenna: it’s not.    
jenna: you don’t need to apologize for something you can’t control

jaemming: but you only leave once everyone can travel, right?

soupcheng: right

jaemming: we still have time   
jaemming: we can’t spend all of it moping around for a day that could come years from now

hockey hyuck: he’s right   
hockey hyuck: even once the other two wake up, you don’t recover from being almost blown to smithereens that quickly   
hockey hyuck: especially if someone was that close to it 

soupcheng: you’re right but still

yuTA: it’s gonna be okay sicheng   
yuTA: you’re going to be okay

soupcheng: okay

princess yue: are you still at the hospital

soupcheng: of course

dingdong: still no visitors?

soupcheng: no one outside of family

uknow: you guys are family?

soupcheng: chenle managed to convince them that anyone working for his parents was family

teayong: did you eat dinner yet?

soupcheng: why would i   
soupcheng: dinner is a luxury i cannot afford right now

dingdong: you can’t do that to yourself

soupcheng: well i’m doing it right now so obviously i can   
soupcheng: sorry that was rude

markus: sicheng you should go eat something

soupcheng: maybe   
soupcheng: i’ll talk to you guys later

**[soupcheng is offline]**

uknow: i can’t believe it

jwisung: they haven’t even been here for a full month   
jwisung: and now they’re leaving bc of a gas explosion that they couldn’t control

jaemming: i hate this

teayong: me too but there’s not much we can do is there   
teayong: we could never hold as much power as chenle’s parents, and if they want them back, then that’s that

jenna: i don’t want them to leave

dingdong: it’ll be okay   
dingdong: everything will work out

yuTA: he’s right   
yuTA: we got taeil back, right?   
yuTA: we can get thru this 

princess yue: that’s right   
princess yue: it might sound cheesy but as long as we have each other we can do anything   
princess yue: we’ve managed the past few years right?   
princess yue: it’s just another little bump

johnny appleseed: we got this guys   
johnny appleseed: we just have to stay strong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm like a good seven chapters ahead in my draft so i figured i could post on my old schedule for a little bit
> 
> poor sicheng...
> 
> also if uriboos is correct and we are getting 2 more members I'd have to add them in somehow 🤔 what unit are those fuckers even gonna join???


	27. wednesday/thursday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> moon: sicheng  
> moon: what exactly happened on saturday
> 
> moon: sicheng
> 
> moon: i know you’re reading these messages  
> moon: answer me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chat names  
> kim chungha enthusiasts  
> Mark: roller coaster  
> Donghyuck: stay tonight
> 
> friends 😄  
> Taeil: taeil  
> Yuta: yuta  
> Kun: kun  
> Doyoung: dongyoung
> 
> ring ding dong  
> Taeil: moon  
> Sicheng: dong
> 
> senior citizens  
> Taeil: ancient  
> Johnny: dad(dy)  
> Taeyong: mother  
> Yuta: emperor of japan  
> Kun: braincells  
> Doyoung: mentally crippled  
> Ten: thaicon
> 
> 11:11  
> Taeil: princess yue  
> Johnny: johnny appleseed  
> Taeyong: teayong  
> Yuta: yuTA  
> Kun: kung-fu  
> Doyoung: dingdong  
> Ten: number  
> Jaehyun: uknow  
> Sicheng: soupcheng  
> Jungwoo: jungle  
> Yukhei: yukas  
> Mark: markus  
> Xiaojun: of july  
> Kunhang: kun man  
> Renjun: renning  
> Jeno: jenna  
> Donghyuck: hockey hyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemming  
> Yangyang: sheepsheep  
> Chenle: angel le  
> Jisung: jwisung
> 
> yuil  
> Taeil: illie  
> Yuta: yuyu

**kim chungha enthusiasts** **  
****[Today, 19:42]**

stay tonight: hey i’m just checking up on you  
stay tonight: how’re you feeling?

roller coaster: if i’m being honest i feel like actual shit

stay tonight: figured as much  
stay tonight: do you wanna go to mosaic?

roller coaster: right now?

stay tonight: yeah  
stay tonight: some fresh air never hurt anyone

roller coaster: just us?

stay tonight: if you want it to be then sure  
stay tonight: if you want other people then i can ask jeno and jaemin

roller coaster: i don’t think i can go out right now sorry hyuck

stay tonight: that’s okay  
stay tonight: do you want company?

roller coaster: can you?

stay tonight: yeah ofc  
stay tonight: sit tight i’ll be there in a minute

roller coaster: thank you 

stay tonight: don’t mention it

**friends 😄** **  
****[Today, 21:44]**

**[yuta is online]**

yuta: so

**[taeil and dongyoung are online]**

taeil: yeah

dongyoung: i can’t believe this is happening  
dongyoung: nothing is going our way

yuta: i just don’t understand why they’re being pulled back for something that isn’t anyone’s fault

taeil: i mean  
taeil: the way i see it  
taeil: it’s a miracle that they didn’t lose their jobs

yuta: wdym

taeil: cause they work for chenle’s parents right?  
taeil: who are out of the country rn?  
taeil: protection of their son would fall on china line and that explosion proved that they couldn’t do their job correctly

dongyoung: but how is that their fault  
dongyoung: no one could’ve predicted the thing exploding

taeil: just a thought ignore me nvm

yuta: well if chenle’s family is rich enough to employ all those people don’t you think that he’d be a in a little danger?  
yuta: i’m not really sure how things work for people of their status but for any competitors of their family business, taking out the heir while he’s in a foreign country without his parents would be good, right?

dongyoung: well that makes sense but what on earth do they do for a living that puts chenle’s life at risk?

taeil: it’d have to be kind of shady  
taeil: i don’t know a lot of proper companies that would be so threatened by another that they risk their reputation to try and take them out of the business

yuta: yeah so it’s kind of weird  
yuta: maybe they really are part of the mafia lol

dongyoung: it would explain how sicheng had enough influence to get you back taeil

taeil: yeah  
taeil: ig  
taeil: there’s no point in speculating tho

yuta: true

dongyoung: let’s just savor whatever time we have left

yuta: that is if they allow visitors  
yuta: i feel so bad for them  
yuta: wish there was something i could do

dongyoung: taeil next time you go to the hospital check on them

taeil: yeah ofc

**ring ding dong** **  
****[Today, 20:13]**

moon: sicheng  
moon: what exactly happened on saturday

moon: sicheng

moon: i know you’re reading these messages  
moon: answer me

moon: it’s not like i’m completely clueless  
moon: tell me

**[dong is online]**

dong: i already did  
dong: it was an accident

moon: i think we both know that’s bullshit  
moon: tell me what really happened

dong: i can’t do that

moon: and why is that  
moon: i already know about the zhong family’s sketchy business  
moon: if this has to do with that then you can tell me

dong: i still can’t  
dong: privacy issues  
dong: i hope you understand

moon: fine  
moon: i just wish you didn’t have to worry  
moon: i’m sure there are things you can never tell anyone but you haven’t even told us who got hurt

dong: privacy issues  
dong: in the rare case that my phone is being watched the worst thing i could do would be to give the names of the members who were injured  
dong: i’d basically be inviting people to try and attack chenle  
dong: i can’t do that  
dong: we already failed to protect him once and now we’re being punished for it

moon: but chenle isn’t hurt  
moon: i saw him around the hospital perfectly fine  
moon: that means you did your job, doesn’t it?

dong: not quite  
dong: the damages to the members, the damages to the house, the news coverage, and the failure to identify the assailants, much less capture them, all count as failures  
dong: yes, chenle is unharmed but that’s only one requirement out of many to be considered a success  
dong: we failed, without a doubt  
dong: and now we’ve lost the trust that the zhongs had in us and the chance for chenle to live a more normal life in america  
dong: and i know you’re going to say that it isn’t our fault, but it is  
dong: we couldn’t even protect the house, despite doing multiple checks just hours before and keeping a constant eye on security cameras  
dong: we just barely got chenle out of the house before everything went to hell, and thanks to our carelessness, almost half of china line is stuck in hospital for god knows how long  
dong: we don’t even know if two of those four will wake up

moon: so someone attacked you guys

dong: meet me at the er entrance

moon: be there in five minutes tops

**senior citizens** **  
****[Today, 21:29]**

**[mother is online]**

mother: do you guys want to watch a movie together?

**[emperor of japan and mentally crippled are online]**

mentally crippled: what movie?

mother: whatever one you want  
mother: i might ask the members too

emperor of japan: i’m down  
emperor of japan: gimme a minute

mentally crippled: me too

mother: okay i’ll ask everyone

**11:11** **  
****[Today, 21:35]**

teayong: does anyone want to come to the senior apartment to watch a movie or something?

**[uknow, jungle, jenna, and one other are online]**

jenna: i’m down  
jenna: so is jaemin

uknow: ^

jungle: ^^

jwisung: i don’t have a ride

teayong: that’s okay  
teayong: if you want i can come pick you up  
teayong: only if your parents are okay with you going out this late

jwisung: let me ask

jwisung: they said it’s okay as long as i can make it to school tomorrow

teayong: okay i’ll be there in a little bit  
teayong: does anyone else want a ride?

jungle: i think i’m okay ^^

jenna: me too 

teayong: alright  
teayong: anyone hear from mark or donghyuck?

jenna: i think they’re together right now  
jenna: i could call them if you want?

teayong: it’s alright  
teayong: i’ll see you all in a little bit

**Conversation with Number Withheld** **  
** **[Today, 4:18]**

Number Withheld: SSdtIGdvaW5nIHRvIGdpdmUgeW91IG9uZSBjaGFuY2UuIEdpdmUgdXMgYWNjZXNzIHRvIHRoZSBsb2NhdGlvbiBvZiBaaG9uZyBDaGVubGUsIG9yIHdlIHdpbGwgaGF2ZSBubyBjaG9pY2UgYnV0IHRvIGtpbGwgTmEgSmFlbWluLiBZb3UgaGF2ZSAyNCBob3VycyB0byByZXBseSB0byB0aGlzIG1lc3NhZ2UsIGFuZCBpZiB5b3UgdGVsbCBhbnlvbmUgYWJvdXQgdGhpcywgd2Ugd2lsbCBtdXJkZXIgeW91ciBlbnRpcmUgZmFtaWx5IHRyZWUu

**[Jaemin Na is online]**

Jaemin Na: nah fam what the fuck do you want it’s 4 am and there’s class tomorrow   
Jaemin Na: you must be on some fuck shit to think i have the time or patience to decode that 

Number Withheld: VGhpcyBpcyBub3QgYSBqb2tlLiBHaXZlIHVzIFpob25nIENoZW5sZSdzIGxvY2F0aW9uIG9yIHdlIHdpbGwga2lsbCB5b3UgYW5kIHlvdXIgZmFtaWx5LiA=

Jaemin Na: what did i just say   
Jaemin Na: [are you dumb stupid or dumb](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLhyNOyi8_k%C2%A0)

Number Withheld: you stupid fucker

Jaemin Na: says you   
Jaemin Na: congrats you’re finally speaking in regular human now what do you want

Number Withheld: I'm going to give you one chance. Give us access to the location of Zhong Chenle, or we will have no choice but to kill you. You have 24 hours to reply to this message, and if you tell anyone about this, we will murder your entire family tree.

Jaemin Na: woah scary

Number Withheld: This is not a joke. 

Jaemin Na: uh huh   
Jaemin Na: by the way   
Jaemin Na: i don’t know where chenle is   
Jaemin Na: fuck off and find someone else to threaten

Number Withheld: I suppose we have no choice but to kill you then. We can’t have any loose ends. 

Jaemin Na: ✨ c o o l ✨   
Jaemin Na: also i’m not jaemin lol   
Jaemin Na: whatsup my name is jared, i’m 19, and i never fucking learned how to read

Number Withheld: You’re lying. 

Jaemin Na: nah bro   
Jaemin Na: anyways your location was very easy to access by an information security major and i’m reporting you to the police for attempted murder and arson

Number Withheld: Report us to whoever you want, they won’t do anything. 

Jaemin Na: oh really?   
Jaemin Na: do you know how much grief you’ve caused us?   
Jaemin Na: poor jisungie is losing his best friend, you’re ripping away two of my best friends, you’re ripping my best friend’s crush away, you’re taking away the sweetest boy i’ve ever met, you’ve put the brightest person i know in a fucking coma and you’ve forced his boyfriends to wait in agony because no one knows if he’ll wake up, and you’ve made someone with the voice of an angel lose that   
Jaemin Na: i should just fucking kill you myself

Number Withheld: As if you could do that.

Jaemin Na: seems you’re underestimating me   
Jaemin Na: anyways, you seem to be very knowledgeable in the zhong family    
Jaemin Na: i’m actually really close with them now    
Jaemin Na: but sicheng only told me so much   
Jaemin Na: so how about we become friends?

**[You can no longer send messages to this user.]** **  
** **[You have deleted this chat]**

**Conversation with Hoyeon Ryu** **  
** **[Today, 4:30]**

Minjun Kim: that was rude

Hoyeon Ryu: you’re not a member of that stupid music group

Minjun Kim: i’m offended that you think me so stupid as to use my real name while chatting with someone who hurt my very dear friends

Hoyeon Ryu: what do you want with me?

Minjun Kim: answers would be good enough, i suppose   
Minjun Kim: why did you attack the zhong’s?

Hoyeon Ryu: why else would i if not to kill the heir of a business of monsters?

Minjun Kim: you are aware chenle isn’t the heir right lol   
Minjun Kim: you attacked the wrong person omg you’re actually fucking stupid

Hoyeon Ryu: but the heir was in that house that night

Minjun Kim: do you even know what the heir looks like

Minjun Kim: you don’t even do your job correctly    
Minjun Kim: anyways you’re a useless whiny cunt and i’ve been able to get all information on you and your family   
Minjun Kim: can’t wait for your parents to lose their job working under Moon Enterprises

Hoyeon Ryu: what kind of influence do you have? you can’t fire them

Minjun Kim: i can’t fire them, you’re right   
Minjun Kim: but i do have some very close friends in positions to blacklist them from every company in south korea   
Minjun Kim: oh dear me   
Minjun Kim: it seems the police have arrived at your hideout   
Minjun Kim: don’t ever try to come after my friends again   
Minjun Kim: have fun in prison!

Hoyeon Ryu: you can’t even keep me in there   
Hoyeon Ryu: all evidence was destroyed 

Minjun Kim: ah yes but that’s the joy of technology   
Minjun Kim: even if the zhong estate cameras were destroyed, the feeds were saved to a series of backups   
Minjun Kim: and that’s it for us!   
Minjun Kim: do say hello to the rats in your cell for me!

Hoyeon Ryu: you fucking conceited asshole

Minjun Kim: that’s not very kind of you   
Minjun Kim: i was trying to be polite

Hoyeon Ryu: fuck you

Minjun Kim: farewell, Hoyeon Ryu

**yuil** **  
****[Today, 4:47]**

illie: i’m sorry to keep you up yuta

yuyu: it’s okay! i’m glad to help even if you won’t tell me what it was for

illie: maybe one day  
illie: thank you for your help

yuyu: ofc!

illie: go and head to bed now

yuyu: don’t pull an all nighter taeil

illie: i won’t  
illie: good night, yuta

yuyu: good night!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> spoiler: taeil and sicheng's workloads are going to increase quite a bit ^^;  
> i just started chapter 34 in my draft and i really want to update everything so i don't have to worry about giving away too much but then i'd have like seven updates at once and my schedule would get all wonky
> 
> haha ring ding dong
> 
> hmmm  
> productivity decreasing significantly  
> have to take notes for ap world but updated this instead forgive me teacher  
> wanna write an nct among us au but have to finish homework and then the other seven wips  
> i said i would write norenmin fic a dozen chapters ago but still haven't gotten past 5k on that yet  
> anyways thanks for reading


	28. sunday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fairy godmother: if i had to go in for surgery then i’d walk out of this hospital
> 
> prince charming: we’d put you back 
> 
> fairy godmother: no fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i forgot to post this last night sorry :(
> 
> Shrek 5 2k20  
> Kun: horst  
> Ten: shrek  
> Sicheng: pinocchio  
> Yukhei: prince charming  
> Xiaojun: dragon  
> Kunhang: donkey  
> Renjun: fairy godmother  
> Yangyang: puss in boots  
> Chenle: rumpelstiltskin
> 
> 11:11 (admins: KN)  
> Taeil: princess yue  
> Johnny: johnny appleseed  
> Taeyong: teayong  
> Yuta: yuTA  
> Kun: kung-fu  
> Doyoung: dingdong  
> Ten: number  
> Jaehyun: uknow  
> Sicheng: soupcheng  
> Jungwoo: jungle  
> Yukhei: yukas  
> Mark: markus  
> Xiaojun: of july  
> Kunhang: kun man  
> Renjun: renning  
> Jeno: jenna  
> Donghyuck: hockey hyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemming  
> Yangyang: sheepsheep  
> Chenle: angel le  
> Jisung: jwisung

**Shrek 5 2k20** **  
****[Today, 10:36]**

pinocchio: you’re absolutely sure?

fairy godmother: how many times do i have to say yes

pinocchio: i’m just making sure  
pinocchio: i don’t want you to feel pressured to see people

fairy godmother: maybe for once in my life i actually want to see my friends  
fairy godmother: it just sucks that i won’t be able to talk to them

rumpelstiltskin: you can always text them

fairy godmother: i miss my vocal chords

pinocchio: at least there were no tears in the tissue

fairy godmother: yeah thank god  
fairy godmother: if i had to go in for surgery then i’d walk out of this hospital

prince charming: we’d put you back 

fairy godmother: no fun

**11:11** **  
****[Today, 10:40]**

renning: hello i’m announcing my return

**[princess yue, johnny appleseed, teayong, and nine others are online]**

jenna: renjun welcome back 🥺

soupcheng: he’s not out of the hospital yet but he’s apparently okay to start getting some visitors  
soupcheng: groups of five or less 

teayong: i feel like i already know the answer but how’re you feeling renjun?

renning: like shit  
renning: but the meds are helping a little bit

yuTA: a little bit is better than nothing

jaemming: what time are visiting hours?

soupcheng: 10 to 3

jaemming: that’s not a lot of time :(

princess yue: who wants to go first?

johnny appleseed: should we let dream go first?

jwisung: is chenle gonna be there too? if yeah then it might be too many people

renning: i’m sure the staff can make an exception for him

dingdong: i’m for letting dream go

hockey hyuck: bet i’m on my way renjun you sexy motherfucker

renning: okay bet mwah

jenna: i can take anyone who needs a ride

jwisung: ha losers imagine not living right behind the hospital and needing to drive

hockey hyuck: park jisung i’m going to smash your skull in and you’ll be in a bed next to renjun

markus: or you could not

hockey hyuck: yeah ig :/ but that’s no fun

teayong: please no more people in the hospital other than visiting

yuTA: so renjun was one of the two who woke up on wednesday?

soupcheng: uhh  
soupcheng: yes

yuTA: you’re never going to tell us who the others are are you

soupcheng: use your brain dude

dingdong: going sherlock holmes mode  
dingdong: taeil said he saw dejun kunhang and yukhei fine   
dingdong: also chenle is fine   
dingdong: sicheng is also fine

uknow: so the only ones left are kun ten and yangyang

teayong: oh wait sicheng i’m so sorry about them

soupcheng: they’ll be okay  
soupcheng: i know they will

jungle: but who’s awake and who’s not

soupcheng: now that is information i cannot tell you

johnny appleseed: in time we’ll get it out of you

soupcheng: do your worst

teayong: jeno drive safe

jenna: no  
jenna: also just to confirm renjun what hospital are you at

renning: inova on gallows  
renning: the one next to mosaic

jenna: okay give us ten minutes

jwisung: give me five 😎 cause i’m a cool kid who can run

renning: you can take your time lol

jwisung: no cause i need to make the most of visiting hours

renning: whatever you say

teayong: stay safe

jwisung: okay okay

**New Group Conversation** **  
** **[Today, 10:48]**

**[Ren Jun Huang (admin) has added Mark Lee, Jeno Lee, Donghyuck Lee, and three others to the chat!]** **  
** **[Ren Jun Huang (admin) has changed Ren Jun Huang’s name to renjun]** **  
** **[Ren Jun Huang (admin) has changed the chat name to dreamies]**

renjun: btw my throat is injured and i cannot talk

Mark Lee: oh renjun :(

**[Mark Lee has changed Mark Lee’s name to mark]** **  
** **[Donghyuck Lee has changed Jeno Lee’s name to jeno]** **  
** **[Donghyuck Lee has changed Donghyuck Lee’s name to donghyuck]** **  
** **[Jaemin Na has changed Jaemin Na’s name to jaemin]** **  
** **[Jaemin Na has changed Jisung Park’s name to jisung]** **  
** **[renjun has changed Chen Le Zhong’s name to chenle]**

renjun: it’s okay ig  
renjun: i can just text

jaemin: is that the only thing that’s hurt badly?

renjun: i apparently have a lot of head trauma but it’s okay ig

donghyuck: that’s not okay are you dumb stupid or dumb

renjun: yes

donghyuck: no >:(

renjun: yes >:(

mark: does it hurt a lot?

renjun: eh i’m like kind of living off pain killers rn   
renjun: boutta come out of the hospital addicted to tylenol or summ

jaemin: or you could not  
jaemin: i don’t think being addicted to painkillers would be very fun

renjun: no fun but fine ig  
renjun: i can see your point   
renjun: i don’t want to go thru rehab

jisung: haha i made it to the hospital without getting mugged

mark: that was fast

jisung: i’m sonic the hedgehog  
jisung: my name is barry allen, and i am the fastest man alive   
jisung: the lady at the desk is giving me a funky look

jaemin: why

jisung: idk  
jisung: maybe cause i look like a just ran a marathon   
jisung: god i should start running regularly

donghyuck: running is a waste of energy  
donghyuck: do the stairclimbers they’re better

jaemin: idk personally i like the bike :/

renjun: omg are you guys   
renjun: 🤢   
renjun: gym rats

donghyuck: can’t let murderers catch me slipping 

renjun: how is a stairclimber gonna help with that

donghyuck: the stamina  
donghyuck: and gotta make sure my legs look good ;)

renjun: imagine working out

jisung: you don’t?

renjun: i do the absolute bare minimum   
renjun: i will never exercise unless there is some monetary reward

mark: mood

renjun: see?  
renjun: mark understands   
renjun: exercising is a waste of energy

jisung: i just want to be able to run half a mile without feeling like i just ran 50

mark: yeah that’s understandable  
mark: but otherwise you won’t ever catch me in a gym

donghyuck: i’m pretty sure i saw you just last week tho

mark: that was only to drop stuff off for you and chan and does not count

donghyuck: i mean i did catch you in a gym tho

mark: oml

jaemin: you know who has the best legs i’ve ever seen?  
jaemin: chan

donghyuck: omg you’re right tho  
donghyuck: that boy could probably demolish a watermelon with his thighs within five seconds

jisung: *whispering* renjun idk who they’re talking about

renjun: *whispering back* dw neither do i

mark: i thought you know chan, renjun?

renjun: i’ve seen him around but i don’t actually know anything about him other than he’s your roommate and apparently he has really strong legs

donghyuck: jisung you don’t know him either

jisung: nope  
jisung: you know i don’t talk to that many people much less college students that i didn’t know beforehand

jaemin: we gotta start introducing you to people then

renjun: ayyyyy  
renjun: jisung is now my new favorite

mark: what did he do?

jisung: i got him a moomin stuffed animal  
jisung: almost three feet you’re welcome

renjun: i will never forget this

jisung: where’s chenle?

renjun: probably visiting one of the others  
renjun: he’ll be here in a little bit

jisung: cool cool

renjun: how far out are you guys?

jaemin: five minutes ish?  
jaemin: probably more

donghyuck: _sent an audio recording_

renjun: is that jeno roadraging

mark: traffic is so bad   
mark: idk why it’s literally barely 11

donghyuck: _sent an audio recording_

jisung: LMAO  
jisung: did he stutter? no

jaemin: ‘you ugly pickly crusty smelly stupid looking prick get your sniveling bitch ass out of my mcfucking blind spot before i curbstomp you thru this godforsaken planet and you come out in the middle of the fucking indian ocean’  
jaemin: he’s such a poet 🥰

renjun: truly  
renjun: i have never heard a better chain of words

mark: normally i wouldn’t support being mean to people but   
mark: people above 60 should not be allowed on the fucking road it’s like they forgot how to d r i v e

donghyuck: frfr  
donghyuck: i say we get rid of cars and just ride horse pulled carriages from now on

jisung: but the air conditioning,,,

donghyuck: just deal with it

renjun: what if you’re tryna go somewhere far

donghyuck: just don’t ❤️

renjun: fair enough  
renjun: you ever think about chenji’s friendship and just go 🥰

donghyuck: all the time

jaemin: yeah ❤️

mark: 24/7

jaemin: jeno says they live in his mind rent free

renjun: chenle came into the room and jisung forgot i was here and just launched himself at lele  
renjun: he’s checking over every inch of lele as if the doctors haven’t already done that   
renjun: ‘oh my god you’re here you’re okay are you sure you’re okay there’s no injuries right not even a little cut right you have to tell me if there’s anything’   
renjun: they’re so grrrrrr

jaemin: how is this fair to the rest of us  
jaemin: they aren’t even dating but they act more like a couple than every single couple on earth

donghyuck: 👀

jaemin: what  
jaemin: don’t look at me   
jaemin: i’ll stab your eyes out

mark: 👁️👄👁️  
mark: please do not stab hyuck’s eyes out

jaemin: okay i’ll only poke them hard with a bobby pin

donghyuck: please don’t that hurts so much

jaemin: unless you silence yourself then i will have no choice

renjun: how do you know what it feels like hyuck

donghyuck: i have done it more times than i’d like to admit

renjun: lmao loser

donghyuck: i’d like to see you try to put them in with one hand while playing bedwars with the other hand and you have to make sure you have everything or else you won’t have enough and you also have a headset on  
donghyuck: yeah that’s what i thought get clapped

**[chenle is online]**

chenle: renjun is very good with putting them in tho   
chenle: i’ve seen him put five in perfectly with headphones on in like a few seconds

donghyuck: unless it was one handed i will not acknowledge it

chenle: it was one handed

renjun: are you referring to march

chenle: yeah   
chenle: i will forever remember how badass you looked

renjun: thank you thank you i try my best

mark: no offense but how does one look badass while just putting in bobby pins

chenle: he was doing it while shooting a moving target and he was running at the same time

jaemin: so he had headphones on, a gun in hand, was running and shooting and putting in bobby pins all at once

renjun: not to flex or anything 

donghyuck: okay i admit defeat   
donghyuck: i would’ve liked to see that tho

mark: what kind of circumstances would you even have to be for that to happen  
mark: were you at like a shooting range?

renjun: yeah  
renjun: i was on a time limit but my hair got in my face so i had to improvise 

jisung: that was you improvising??

renjun: yeah

jaemin: sexy brain move i think 

donghyuck: i really wanna see renjun with a gun now

renjun: one day hyuck  
renjun: once i get out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've worked almost everything out and i think that sungchan and shotaro will make their debut in this fic around chapter 34, so ig look forward to that. they'll have some pretty major parts :)))))))))


	29. monday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rumpelstiltskin: how are you feeling?
> 
> shrek: like i want to go back to sleep
> 
> dragon: then go back to sleep ffs
> 
> shrek: you can’t tell me what to do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shrek 5 2k20  
> Kun: horst  
> Ten: shrek  
> Sicheng: pinocchio  
> Yukhei: prince charming  
> Xiaojun: dragon  
> Kunhang: donkey  
> Renjun: fairy godmother  
> Yangyang: puss in boots  
> Chenle: rumpelstiltskin
> 
> 11:11  
> Taeil: princess yue  
> Johnny: johnny appleseed  
> Taeyong: teayong  
> Yuta: yuTA  
> Kun: kung-fu  
> Doyoung: dingdong  
> Ten: number  
> Jaehyun: uknow  
> Sicheng: soupcheng  
> Jungwoo: jungle  
> Yukhei: yukas  
> Mark: markus  
> Xiaojun: of july  
> Kunhang: kun man  
> Renjun: renning  
> Jeno: jenna  
> Donghyuck: hockey hyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemming  
> Yangyang: sheepsheep  
> Chenle: angel le  
> Jisung: jwisung
> 
> the children  
> Chenle: lele  
> Jisung: sungie
> 
> freshies  
> Renjun: march  
> Yangyang: october

**Shrek 5 2k20** **  
****[Today, 7:56]**

**[shrek is online]**

shrek: good morning whores let’s get this bread

**[pinocchio, prince charming, dragon, and two others are online]**

donkey: are you even allowed to be on your phone

shrek: yeah i am now

rumpelstiltskin: how are you feeling?

shrek: like i want to go back to sleep

dragon: then go back to sleep ffs

shrek: you can’t tell me what to do

prince charming: ten go back to sleep

shrek: i was unconscious for almost four days i’m never sleeping again

pinocchio: even tho you just said you were feeling like you want to go back to sleep

shrek: no i didn’t

dragon: yes you did

shrek: i didn’t  
shrek: oh fuck i did

donkey: it’s time to get off your phone ten

shrek: ig :/  
shrek: i’ll see you guys later then

rumpelstiltskin: rest well :(

shrek: i’ll certainly try

**[shrek is offline]**

pinocchio: that was mildly concerning

dragon: the doctors said it’ll heal in a few weeks

donkey: ten and renjun will be fine in a few weeks but what about the other two

prince charming: there’s nothing we can do but hope that they’ll be okay

rumpelstiltskin: it’s already been over a week  
rumpelstiltskin: maybe if i had paid a little more attention or if i didn’t even have you guys come over

pinocchio: lele it’s not your fault  
pinocchio: they would’ve done something like this no matter what   
pinocchio: it was only a matter of time

rumpelstiltskin: still…

prince charming: it’s not your fault  
prince charming: it was ours for not being able to catch them

dragon: don’t think that this happened because of you lele

donkey: you couldn’t control this 

rumpelstiltskin: but because i wanted to go to america they got hurt   
rumpelstiltskin: if i had just stayed home then this wouldn’t have happened

pinocchio: this would’ve happened tho   
pinocchio: if these people could track you to america and pull off something like this then they can sure as hell do it in china too

prince charming: don’t blame yourself chenle  
prince charming: this didn’t happen because of you okay?

rumpelstiltskin: okay  
rumpelstiltskin: i guess

donkey: good

dragon: i’ll run out to get some proper food okay?  
dragon: i’ll be back in maybe ten minutes

donkey: i’m coming with

pinocchio: buddy system children

dragon: okay  
dragon: see you in a little bit

**11:11** **  
****[Today, 10:08]**

**[jenna and jaemming are online]**

jenna: hello jaemin and i figured that we could all use a little good news right now so this is a formal announcement that we’re dating

**[teayong, yuTA, soupcheng, and four others are online]**

hockey hyuck: omg about time

jaemming: hush

teayong: congratulations!

yuTA: congrats you two

jungle: congrats!!

jwisung: oh wow now i have to watch the pda

jenna: we know you love us jisungie

jwisung: i do

jaemming: omg he actually admitted it

jwisung: i have to say it while i still can

teayong: that sounds so sad

jwisung: thanks that was the goal 

yuTA: jisung 🥺

markus: congratulations you two!  
markus: i’m happy for you guys!

jenna: thanks ^^

soupcheng: is this a new development?

jaemming: sort of?  
jaemming: since lele’s birthday 

teayong: and you didn’t tell us :(

jenna: well we didn’t want to take attention from lele on his day so we were gonna wait til like saturday but then uh yeah  
jenna: and then we were debating a lot about whether we should tell you guys or not

jungle: oh well that’s reasonable ig  
jungle: i wish you many years of happiness

jaemming: thanks lol

markus: me too!  
markus: gosh they grow up so fast :`(

hockey hyuck: lmao  
hockey hyuck: they’re just a year younger than you

markus: i feel like i’ve watched two of my children grow up into fully functioning adults 

jenna: fully functioning adults?  
jenna: yeah no

markus: let me hope

teayong: i wish i could have at least one functioning child

jungle: what about me??

yuTA: what about you

jungle: okay fair enough

soupcheng: i’m functioning right??

jaemming: barely

jwisung: no

jenna: sorta

teayong: uhhh

yuTA: 

markus: yeah!

hockey hyuck: for the most part ig

jungle: not right now

soupcheng: damn tough crowd huh  
soupcheng: mark is the only valid person in this chat

markus: i’m honored

hockey hyuck: suck up

markus: shut up i’m doing this for my future

jenna: what is sicheng gonna be able to do for you 

markus: not sure but i’m sure he’ll be of use in the future or something like that

soupcheng: wow thanks 

markus: you’re welcome

jwisung: he’s already very useful tho   
jwisung: you know how much boba i’ve been able to make him buy for me?   
jwisung: a lot

soupcheng: didn’t you say i wasn’t functioning

jwisung: functioning and being able to buy me stuff are two different things

soupcheng: gasp  
soupcheng: am i simply being used for my money

jwisung: oh no you’ve finally found out my secret  
jwisung: im jk ily

yuTA: jisung you’re finally admitting you love us omg

jwisung: gonna do it while i still can

teayong: o_o

**sicheng and jisung** **  
****[Today, 10:25]**

sicheng: is this about us leaving?

jisung: yeah  
jisung: i didn’t like showing affection and now i’m not going to be able to   
jisung: i figured i should make up for all those years even if i haven't known you for that long

sicheng: oh jisung baby

jisung: i feel kind of pathetic  
jisung: idk   
jisung: i just don’t want you guys to leave

sicheng: that’s not pathetic at all   
sicheng: i wish we didn’t have to go either   
sicheng: i would give everything i had if it meant that we could stay   
sicheng: but like jaemin said we shouldn’t be sad about something that could be happening months from now   
sicheng: let’s just enjoy whatever time we have left baby 

jisung: okay  
jisung: okay 

sicheng: do you want to talk more?

jisung: i can’t sorry  
jisung: my teacher is about to snatch my phone   
jisung: next period

sicheng: okay   
sicheng: good luck

jisung: you too ^^

**[jisung is offline]**

**the children** **  
****[Today, 14:05]**

**[sungie is online]**

sungie: i just realized  
sungie: how have you been getting your work for the past week

**[lele is online]**

lele: haven’t been getting any  
lele: as soon as my parents found out about the thing they pulled me out of school

sungie: oh

lele: yeah

sungie: well everyone says they miss you  
sungie: even some of the underclassmen have noticed you were gone and told me to tell you that they hope you get better   
sungie: yeojin and yerim even got you a card and made everyone sign it

lele: damn i feel kind of bad for just disappearing   
lele: i really wish i could go back

sungie: i think everyone just wants you to be safe whether you’re in school or not  
sungie: me too

lele: still feel bad

sungie: don’t :(  
sungie: you couldn’t control this 

lele: i guess  
lele: aren’t you in class?

sungie: i already finished everything i needed to  
sungie: what have you been doing all day?

lele: sitting in a hospital room and attempting to play pubg on my phone  
lele: it hasn’t been going well

sungie: why not?

lele: idk  
lele: i mean i’m playing fine   
lele: but it’s not really fun anymore

sungie: did you try another game maybe?  
sungie: fortnite mobile or something?

lele: yeah  
lele: i just didn’t enjoy it   
lele: even tho i can usually play for hours on end

sungie: maybe it’s stress?

lele: it might be  
lele: i would take a walk but i’m not supposed to go outside

sungie: :(  
sungie: i can go to the hospital after school if you want

lele: no it’s okay  
lele: i don’t want to be a bother

sungie: you’re not bothering me tho :/

lele: do whatever hw you have  
lele: ik you’re procrastinating on something

sungie: you know me so well

lele: i do don’t i lol  
lele: anyways i have to go now   
lele: have to talk to xiaodery

sungie: yeah ofc  
sungie: feel better lele 

lele: i’ll definitely try my best

sungie: bye :(

lele: bye jisungie  
lele: i’ll talk to you later okay?

sungie: okay :(  
sungie: i’ll miss you

lele: i’ll miss you too  
lele: but i’ll see you another time 

sungie: okay :(

lele: bye bye ^^

sungie: bye :(

**[lele is offline]**

**freshies** **  
****[Today, 22:29]**

**[march is online]**

march: god i’ve found myself here somehow  
march: the nurses told me it’s good to do stuff i used to do as routine   
march: i texted you a lot before everything happened huh   
march: ig i missed it somehow   
march: ik you won’t be able to read this for a while   
march: so ig i should say it now so you can’t tease me   
march: i miss you you absolute fool   
march: so wake your stupid ass up so i can bother you again   
march: and everyone wants you to wake up so do it   
march: this is what you get for staying in the house until the last possible second   
march: dumbass   
march: as soon as you wake up and your boyfriends are done smothering you i’ll be next   
march: getting my phone taken away so bye   
march: ly

**[march is offline]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> productivity has dropped to an all time low because of school and Bluebell, might take me another week to get the next chapter out? sorry, i'll really try my best to get the chapters up until 34 out as soon as possible but ap world is genuinely kicking my ass right now


	30. tuesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [moon is online]
> 
> moon: about that favor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ring ding dong  
> Taeil: moon  
> Sicheng: dong
> 
> dreamlees  
> Jeno: eye  
> Donghyuck: melanin
> 
> chem buddies  
> Johnny: johnny  
> Taeyong: taeyong
> 
> the distraction team  
> Jungwoo: woo  
> Yukhei: xuxi

**ring ding dong** **  
** **[Today, 5:22]**

**[moon is online]**

moon: about that favor   
moon: i talked to him about it and he said he’ll try his best   
moon: but if kun and ten are incapacited then you might need to go over there

**[dong is online]**

dong: one of us has to go?   
dong: it can’t just be you?

moon: i’m not sure   
moon: i’ll ask

moon: he says that having one of china line there might make things easier

dong: okay   
dong: ig i’m going

moon: i’m going with you

dong: no you’re not

moon: you’re not telling me i can’t go home   
moon: besides you need as much support as you can get

dong: you were already missing for a week or so    
dong: i don’t want to take away whatever time the babies have left with you

moon: but it’s fine for you to leave?

dong: it’s not necessary for me to stay here

moon: or we could all go?

dong: absolutely not   
dong: first because everyone is still in the hospital    
dong: second because we can’t possibly afford a trip to korea in the middle of the school year

moon: you’re right that was stupid

dong: i appreciate the sentiment   
dong: i really do   
dong: but i have to do this myself

moon: and what if they wake up and you’re not there?

dong: they’ll understand   
dong: they’ll know that i’m doing what i have to

moon: but you don’t have to

dong: in case you haven’t realized i’m in negotiations   
dong: this is literally what i was trained to do

moon: you know who else in relations?   
moon: the literal fucking heir 

dong: well i would never ask him to try and bargain for us

moon: he doesn’t have to be bargaining for all of you   
moon: he cares enough about chenle to take the burden of leading away from him   
moon: he should care enough to try and let him stay here

dong: well the reality is that obviously the states aren’t safe   
dong: and ofc china isn’t either but at least there he’ll be with more of the others   
dong: more heads is better

moon: not necessarily

dong: i know you have the best intentions in mind taeil   
dong: but i won’t drag anyone else into this mess   
dong: especially him

moon: okay   
moon: but you have to know that we all love you so much   
moon: and i hate that you’re about to just take off without anyone else

dong: i’ll be fine   
dong: if it means that they can wake up and not have anything burdening them then i can do anything

**dreamlees** **  
** **[Today, 9:45]**

**[eye is online]**

eye: yo    
eye: wya i’m lonely

**[melanin is online]**

melanin: i’m    
melanin: a little wrapped up

eye: wtf is that supposed to mean

melanin:  _ sent an image _

eye: oh you’re at mark’s   
eye: sorry to bother you

melanin: it’s okay   
melanin: he’s asleep anyways

eye: is he okay?

melanin: are any of us okay   
melanin: especially you and jaemin

eye: it’ll be fine   
eye: nana is still processing   
eye: he says he’s fine with it but i can tell that it hasn’t really sunk in for him yet

melanin: and you?

eye: well   
eye: i don’t want to lose any of them   
eye: not renjun, not a single one of them

melanin: that makes the two of us

eye: but you know how sicheng is   
eye: there is no way that he isn’t scheming

melanin: ofc he is   
melanin: if he wasn’t then i would truly be worried

eye: but what if he fails?

melanin: he won’t   
melanin: we have to trust him on this   
melanin: i mean if he could get taeil back i’m sure he can do this

eye: true   
eye: and taeil’s parents were probably more stubborn because they had a company that needed running

melanin: exactly   
melanin: sicheng knows what he’s doing

eye: okay   
eye: anyways i’ll leave you to tend to mark   
eye: make sure he’s eating and drinking water

melanin: i will   
melanin: sorry about skipping

eye: no worries   
eye: i’ll bring you notes

melanin: i love you

eye: i love you too

**chem buddies** **  
** **[Today, 13:37]**

**[taeyong is online]**

taeyong: hey    
taeyong: do you know who got the chicken breast?

**[johnny is online]**

johnny: i did   
johnny: is it the wrong brand?   
johnny: i’m still around target i can get a different one if you need

taeyong: no it’s okay   
taeyong: you didn’t get a receipt did you?

johnny: nope

taeyong: i thought i told you to start getting receipts :/

johnny: well i did but i know that if i show you then you’ll insist on paying me when i’m just doing my job as a person living in here

taeyong: well i don’t want you to keep spending money on groceries that i need without getting your money back

johnny: i get paid in food that’s all i need   
johnny: don’t worry about it okay?

taeyong: fine   
taeyong: but please next time

johnny: if it makes you feel better then okay i will start showing you

taeyong: thank you so much

johnny: of course

taeyong: i better see that receipt next time then 

johnny: aha…

taeyong: johnny…

johnny: what if i just say it’s a gift?   
johnny: you shouldn’t ask people to see the price of a gift they gave you

taeyong: no

johnny: :(   
johnny: i just know that you’re stressed and i don’t want to make it worse by making you feel like you have to pay me back for basic things like groceries

taeyong: please   
taeyong: if anything you finally getting receipts and showing me will make me less stressed   
taeyong: i promise i won’t try to force money on you    
taeyong: it just helps to know how much money we’re spending a month and if i can cut it down somehow

johnny: we aren’t over budget so don’t worry yongie   
johnny: trust me i check everything

taeyong: you’re sure?

johnny: i’m sure   
johnny: i will start showing you the receipts to help you ease your stress but you absolutely cannot stress out even more that defeats the purpose

taeyong: okay

johnny: promise me

taeyong: fine i promise

johnny: good   
johnny: you actually might love what i got at target as an impulse buy

taeyong: oh no

johnny: don’t worry it wasn’t that much

taeyong: how much was it 

johnny: you don’t need to know you stupid motherfucker 

taeyong: what??

johnny: sorry voice to text and someone cut me off   
johnny: but i won’t tell you haha

taeyong: i feel like i should be concerned   
taeyong: should i be concerned?

johnny: no do not be concerned   
johnny: i swear to god you’ll love it

taeyong: i'm holding you to that

johnny: i will not disappoint you 

taeyong: you never do

**the distraction team** **  
** **[Today, 16:32]**

**[woo is online]**

woo: hi i’m checking in on you    
woo: just wanted to ask how you are

**[xuxi is online]**

woo: omai

xuxi: hi   
xuxi: i’m doing as well as anyone could be after you know   
xuxi: that

woo: yeah ofc   
woo: there aren’t any major injuries right

xuxi: i’m sure the nurses said something about it but idk

woo: did you hit your head?

xuxi: if so then that explains this big ass headache 

woo: ah you did then   
woo: if that’s the case i’ll let you rest 

xuxi: wait no i’m lonely

woo: :(    
woo: what about the rest?

xuxi: um   
xuxi: i don’t want to take them away from the others that aren’t awake yet

woo: okay   
woo: so how’s the hospital

xuxi: kind of bad   
xuxi: well not bad   
xuxi: i’m just worried about medical expenses

woo: you guys probably won’t have a problem with that tho if chenle’s family is as rich as you guys say

xuxi: what have you been doing for the past week?

woo: worrying

xuxi: aside from that   
xuxi: if you weren’t worrying about me i’d be sad :(

woo: don’t worry i will always be worrying about you 😼

xuxi: yay    
xuxi: but how has school been? any other new developments?

woo: have you been reading the 11:11 messages?

xuxi: not really   
xuxi: i only check dms and the china line group chat cause if i was to go through everything else my head would hurt

woo: oh that’s fair   
woo: jaemin and jeno started dating

xuxi: good for them!   
xuxi: i might go into the other chat to congratulate them

woo: if it makes your head hurt then don’t bother i can do it ^^

xuxi: i would feel a little bad about not doing it myself

woo: it’s okay!   
woo: you can say it in person next time they come around

xuxi: ig   
xuxi: what about school?

woo: it’s been okay   
woo: i can’t wave to you after my tuesday classes tho   
woo: but everything else is the same

xuxi: how is everything being the same working for you

woo: ig it should be good   
woo: apparently normalcy is good   
woo: idk    
woo: it doesn’t feel like normal tho

xuxi: how so

woo: cause you and ten and kun and sicheng and the others are all gone and everyone is trying their best to not be sad but you can tell that they are

xuxi: i’m sorry

woo: you have nothing to apologize for   
woo: there was no way that you could’ve predicted this happening

xuxi: still

woo: there’s nothing for you to be sorry about   
woo: we all understand   
woo: we just want you guys to rest and heal bc no one should be in a hospital for longer than they need to be

xuxi: i’ll definitely try my best and i’m sure the others will too

woo: you should get off your phone now tho   
woo: rest well and get better soon okay?

xuxi: okay   
xuxi: thank you

woo: for what?   
woo: i haven’t done anything

xuxi: for checking in on me   
xuxi: means a lot

woo: cause you’re my friend and i care about you   
woo: there’s nothing to thank me for

xuxi: if you say so

woo: rest up xuxi

xuxi: i will

**[xuxi is offline]**

**Jaemin Na** **  
****_User ID: njaemin00_**

Chat   
Contacts   
Archive   
Trash (1)   
Settings   
>Account   
>Preferences   
>Privacy   
>Contact Support

**Trash (1 Conversation)**

Conversation with Number Withheld

_ What the fuck.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i forced myself to post this before depression drought hits. sorry for the late update. i'm not sure when i'll be back. in the meantime, take care of yourselves.


	31. tuesday/wednesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dong: did you use jaemin’s phone to message a withheld number?
> 
> [moon is online]
> 
> moon: yeah but i deleted it?
> 
> dong: the new update lets you see conversations that are in the trash
> 
> moon: fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ring ding dong  
> Taeil: moon  
> Sicheng: dong
> 
> yucheng  
> Yuta: yuta  
> Sicheng: sicheng 
> 
> renmin  
> Renjun: junnie  
> Jaemin: minnie 
> 
> Shrek 5 2k20  
> Kun: horst  
> Ten: shrek  
> Sicheng: pinocchio  
> Yukhei: prince charming  
> Xiaojun: dragon  
> Kunhang: donkey  
> Renjun: fairy godmother  
> Yangyang: puss in boots  
> Chenle: rumpelstiltskin
> 
> freshies  
> Renjun: march  
> Yangyang: october

**Conversation with Si Cheng Dong** **  
** **[Today, 21:01]**

**[Jaemin Na is online]**

Jaemin Na:  _ sent an image _ _   
_ Jaemin Na:  _ sent an image _ _   
_ Jaemin Na:  _ sent an image _ _   
_ Jaemin Na: do you know what this is about?

**[Si Cheng Dong is online]**

Si Cheng Dong: no?

Jaemin Na: that’s weird

Si Cheng Dong: this is the night that you slept over right?

Jaemin Na: yeah   
Jaemin Na: and idk who got ahold of my phone then    
Jaemin Na: i only know that your name was mentioned

Si Cheng Dong: odd

Jaemin Na: ikr

Si Cheng Dong: i can ask since i think i know who it was

Jaemin Na: ?

Si Cheng Dong: it’s okay you don’t need to know

Jaemin Na: but what are they talking about?   
Jaemin Na: they hurt china line and attempted to kill them?    
Jaemin Na: they were threatening to kill me?

Si Cheng Dong: you don’t have to worry about it jaemin   
Si Cheng Dong: just please don’t tell anyone about this   
Si Cheng Dong: delete the screenshots and the chat   
Si Cheng Dong: i’ll find out what this is about but you can’t tell anyone about it

Jaemin Na: why can’t you tell me   
Jaemin Na: if they were messaging me then don’t i have a right to know   
Jaemin Na: are you really part of the mafia??   
Jaemin Na: that would explain a lot of things

Si Cheng Dong: it’s best you don’t know    
Si Cheng Dong: just trust me on this    
Si Cheng Dong: please   
Si Cheng Dong: delete everything   
Si Cheng Dong: forget this   
Si Cheng Dong: let me take care of it

Jaemin Na: fine   
Jaemin Na: but if there’s ever anything i can help with   
Jaemin Na: please ask    
Jaemin Na: i don’t want you to take on so much responsibility by yourself   
Jaemin Na: you already got taeil back basically all by yourself

Si Cheng Dong: i’ll be okay   
Si Cheng Dong: don’t worry

Jaemin Na: i’m literally always worried about you but okay   
Jaemin Na: i won’t tell anyone about this i promise   
Jaemin Na: just don’t   
Jaemin Na: don’t get hurt   
Jaemin Na: we can’t have anyone else getting injured right now

Si Cheng Dong: i won’t   
Si Cheng Dong: trust me on this jaemin

Jaemin Na: okay   
Jaemin Na: i trust you

Si Cheng Dong: thank you   
Si Cheng Dong: rest well okay kiddo?

Jaemin Na: i’ll certainly try

**ring ding dong** **  
****[Today, 21:15]**

dong: did you use jaemin’s phone to message a withheld number?

**[moon is online]**

moon: yeah but i deleted it?

dong: the new update lets you see conversations that are in the trash

moon: fuck

dong: so you know who did it?

moon: yeah  
moon: a kid named Ryu Hoyeon

dong: and the information security student has to be yuta

moon: i didn’t tell him anything and he promised not to tell that i was using him to track someone 

dong: i’ll talk to him later  
dong: what did you get out of hoyeon

moon: he’s arrested now but he was trying to kill the heir  
moon: i don’t think he knew that lele isn’t that

dong: an assassin who doesn’t even know his target?

moon: i don’t know if he was working for anyone tho  
moon: i didn’t want to get yuta involved anymore

dong: don’t worry about it  
dong: i’ll take care of everything

moon: you don’t have to do everything by yourself you know  
moon: you’re not going to accept my help but you can always ask chenle’s cousins

dong: they’re already swamped with other things

moon: and yukhei?  
moon: and dejun and kunhang?   
moon: can’t you ask them for help

dong: i would never ask dejun and kunhang to help me  
dong: not with everything else they have going on   
dong: as for yukhei, i just want to let him rest   
dong: he always takes these things hard

moon: but you’re also taking it hard?

dong: i’m in a position where i can’t afford to let that stop me from anything  
dong: it’s okay this is for the best   
dong: i’m keeping myself busy so i don’t think about how i don’t know if they’ll ever wake up   
dong: as soon as i rest…   
dong:   
dong: bottom line is i can’t afford to rest and i won’t bring anyone else into this   
dong: you’re already more involved than i would’ve ever wanted

moon: too bad i’m here to stay

dong: i know that but that doesn’t mean i like it  
dong: you know that you’re just putting yourself in more danger right?   
dong: there’s no way you don’t know

moon: oh i know  
moon: i don’t care tho   
moon: you went thru the trouble of getting me back from korea nad i’m going to help you with whatever you need

dong: uh huh  
dong: also   
dong: i might just be overthinking things but

moon: what’s up?

dong: you were describing everyone to hoyeon and i was able to match up your descriptions to everyone except the person your best friend has a crush on and i’m also the only one i couldn’t match a description for…

moon: oh  
moon: um

dong: i mean i could be wrong  
dong: i just want to know if like i’m being stupid or something 

moon: yeah…   
moon: well he hasn’t said your name specifically but i can tell

dong: okay  
dong: cool   
dong: it must suck for him huh

moon: i’m assuming you’re not a romance person

dong: i would love to be but i don’t want to get involved with anyone bc they could be put in danger and that’s something i never want for anyone  
dong: me and renjun think the same way   
dong: the thought of being in love is attractive to us both but we know that we could never keep a relationship with our jobs

moon: that sucks huh

dong: it’s whatever  
dong: i’ve tried to be in a relationship before but it was too hard to manage my job at the same time

moon: that makes sense ig 

dong: but please don’t tell whoever it is i said that  
dong: i don’t want to hurt him

moon: okay  
moon: i won’t 

dong: thank you

moon: just know that i’ll be supporting you no matter what you decide to do

dong: okay

**yucheng** **  
****[Today, 21:51]**

sicheng: hi

**[yuta is online]**

yuta: sicheng!   
yuta: what’s up?

sicheng: i’m going to be leaving again

yuta: what

sicheng: taeil helped me get in touch with his brother, who said he’d help me convince lele’s parents to let us stay  
sicheng: i just have to go to korea to meet up with him

yuta: you’re going by yourself?

sicheng: most likely  
sicheng: i just thought i should let you know   
sicheng: because you deserve that much

yuta: take me with you

sicheng: what?

yuta: i’m coming too  
yuta: i won’t let you go alone again   
yuta: and you can’t change my mind

sicheng: no yuta you can’t come  
sicheng: this is stuff that i have to do alone

yuta: why do you have to do it alone

sicheng: there are just some things i can’t bring you guys into

yuta: well then i’m going as a vacation and i’ll probably hang around my only friend in korea a lot

sicheng: yuta please

yuta: sicheng i don’t want you to go again  
yuta: our time as nct is already limited and then you’re about to leave by yourself?   
yuta: were you even going to tell anyone else?

sicheng: i thought that i should tell you and that you wouldn’t make it a big deal  
sicheng: no one else had to know

yuta: you were expecting me to not care?  
yuta: i don’t know what’s going on and i won’t force you to tell me   
yuta: i just want to be able to be at your side and support you

sicheng:

yuta: i can even pay for my own ticket and accommodations  
yuta: just don’t go off by yourself again   
yuta: i’m sure you know how worried i was back then   
yuta: and now you’re injured and everyone else is in the hospital how can i just let you go like that

sicheng: but you’ll be missing school

yuta: you are far more important than school  
yuta: don’t ever doubt that   
yuta: i’m fine with missing a few days or a few weeks if it means that i can help take some of the burden off your shoulders

sicheng:  
sicheng: i won’t change your mind will i

yuta: absolutely not  
yuta: so might as well just accept it

sicheng: fine

yuta: when

sicheng: preferably tomorrow or thursday

yuta: i’m getting two tickets for thursday then  
yuta: give you one more day with the others

sicheng: do you have enough money for that?

yuta: yeah don’t worry

sicheng: okay

yuta: _sent an image_   
yuta: there you go

sicheng: thank you  
sicheng: i appreciate it but   
sicheng: you’re really doing the most huh

yuta: well you’re my friend  
yuta: i wanna be able to help you as much as i can

sicheng: i see  
sicheng: thank you

yuta: anytime

**renmin** **  
****[Today, 22:12]**

**[minnie is online]**

minnie: hey renjun is it okay if me and jeno come visit tomorrow

**[junnie is online]**

junnie: ofc it is  
junnie: are you guys coming early?

minnie: yeah

junnie: okay i’ll see you then  
junnie: is everything okay?

minnie: might be   
minnie: idk   
minnie: you’re just chill yknow

junnie: thanks 😎

minnie: ofc 😎

**Shrek 5 2k20** **  
****[Today, 2:39]**

**[shrek is online]**

shrek: KUN   
shrek: YALL

**[pinocchio, prince charming, dragon, and three others are online]**

donkey: me and dejun are: running

pinocchio: i don’t know if the nurses will let all of us in

rumpelstiltskin: just break down the door i’m omw

prince charming: omw2

fairy godmother: god what a great fucking time to be crippled

shrek: sorry renjun :(

fairy godmother: don’t worry about me focus on kun ge

pinocchio: i promise that tomorrow in the morning we’ll bring you over

fairy godmother: that’s good enough for me now go smother him

prince charming: don’t have to tell us twice

**freshies** **  
****[Today, 2:45]**

march: your turn next motherfucker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you follow my twt you know why I'm finally updating.
> 
> hey, thanks for all the nice comments on the last chapter and thanks for 400+ kudos. recently my mental state has been declining like a lot and it means so much that you guys actually care. plus add in school and i'm kinda really struggling right now. i'll try my best to get some chapters out tho ^^


	32. wednesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> johnny appleseed: good morning usa  
> johnny appleseed: don’t we love fucking snow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 11:11  
> Taeil: princess yue  
> Johnny: johnny appleseed  
> Taeyong: teayong  
> Yuta: yuTA  
> Kun: kung-fu  
> Doyoung: dingdong  
> Ten: number  
> Jaehyun: uknow  
> Sicheng: soupcheng  
> Jungwoo: jungle  
> Yukhei: yukas  
> Mark: markus  
> Xiaojun: of july  
> Kunhang: kun man  
> Renjun: renning  
> Jeno: jenna  
> Donghyuck: hockey hyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemming  
> Yangyang: sheepsheep  
> Chenle: angel le  
> Jisung: jwisung

**11:11** **  
****[Today, 7:52]**

**[johnny appleseed is online]**

johnny appleseed: good morning usa   
johnny appleseed: don’t we love fucking snow

**[dingdong is online]**

dingdong: you don’t sound too happy

johnny appleseed: i’m not  
johnny appleseed: usually i’d be fine with it but my car is fucking snowed in

dingdong: oh no

johnny appleseed: fml  
johnny appleseed: thank god i don’t have any classes til 1

dingdong: do you need help getting it out

johnny appleseed: nah there’s only one shovel

dingdong: i have hands

johnny appleseed: n o

**[of july is online]**

dingdong: hi dejun

of july: good morning ^^

johnny appleseed: is it really

of july: i’m sorry about your car

johnny appleseed: it’s okay  
johnny appleseed: do you have something you need to tell us?   
johnny appleseed: china line has been avoiding this chat like the plague unless it’s to drop a bombshell

of july: wow you figured it out pretty quickly

dingdong: so what’s up?

of july: well the third person woke up last night  
of july: meaning that there’s only one person left to wake up   
of july: renjun also just spoke his first words   
of july: it was ‘fuck off’ if anyone was curious

johnny appleseed: ahh that’s so good i was expecting something worse ngl

of july: well to be fair we have been announcing a lot of bad things recently

dingdong: why did he have to say fuck you…

of july: me kunhang yukhei and chenle were teasing him for being stuck in bed

dingdong: ohhhh

johnny appleseed: now we just have to find out who the last person is 

of july: good luck with that ^^  
of july: ah do you want a snowblower?   
of july: i just remembered there’s one at a friend’s house   
of july: i can drop it off for you

johnny appleseed: nope don’t worry  
johnny appleseed: i’m almost done anyway

dingdong: how are you texting while shoveling?

johnny appleseed: voice to text  
johnny appleseed: i’ve been using it a lot lately   
johnny appleseed: my new best friend

dingdong: i think taeyong ten and jaehyun would be hurt to hear that

johnny appleseed: i can have multiple best friends   
johnny appleseed: and you’re one of my best friends too

dingdong: uh huh

of july: i’m gonna go now   
of july: have to bother people   
of july: good luck with your car johnny!

johnny appleseed: thank you kiddo

dingdong: bye dejun have a nice day

of july: you too ^^

**[of july is offline]**

**yucheng** **  
****[Today, 9:29]**

**[yuta is online]**

yuta: i probably asked this before but are you going to tell anyone else?

**[sicheng is online]**

sicheng: i haven’t told anyone

yuta: oh  
yuta: and i’m guessing that you don’t want anyone finding out?

sicheng: yeah

yuta: okay will do

**New Group Conversation** **  
** **[Today, 10:10]**

**[Jaemin Na (admin) has added Ren Jun Huang and Jeno Lee to the chat!]** **  
** **[Jaemin Na has changed Jaemin Na’s name to jaemin]** **  
** **[Jeno Lee has changed Jeno Lee’s name to jeno]** **  
** **[Ren Jun Huang has changed Ren Jun Huang’s name to renjun]**

renjun: so how have yall been 

jeno: worried

jaemin: worried

renjun: i think everyone is worried sigh  
renjun: was there a certain reason you guys wanted to come or was it just because i’m the coolest person on this earth 

jaemin: correct me if i’m wrong but  
jaemin: i don’t think anyone in china line has been checking the 11:11 other than maybe sicheng

renjun: correct  
renjun: sicheng is the only one allowed to communicate with you in that chat guys unless he gives another person permission

jeno: that’s kind of weird

renjun: it’s alright  
renjun: as long as i’m allowed to talk to you guys in another chat   
renjun: did something happen in the 11:11 one?

jaemin: sort of?

renjun: oh no  
renjun: is it good?

jeno: we think it’s good

renjun: ?

renjun: OH !!!  
renjun: I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS CONGRATS

jaemin: we wanted to tell you in person ^^

renjun: ah you didn’t have to but thank you so much :(  
renjun: wow this is really good news omg i’m so happy for you two

jeno: thank you ( ´ ▽ ` )

renjun: of course  
renjun: i hope you guys have many happy years together   
renjun: also you know that you can talk out loud if you want right?

jaemin: solidarity  
jaemin: if you can’t talk neither will we

renjun: damn  
renjun: i can say a few words tho

jeno: like?

renjun: i’ve only tried this one phrase   
renjun: just know that it isn’t directed at you guys

 _“_ _f u c k o f f_ _.”_

_“What the heck.”_

_“Wait, no, don’t laugh! You’ll get hurt!”_

renjun: ow

_“You shouldn’t have laughed, Renjun.”_

renjun: your reaction was funny!  
renjun: i had to laugh

_“It’s gonna make it hurt even more.”_

renjun: :/  
renjun: i can deal with a little pain

jeno: let’s just not make you talk out loud (´꒳`∗)

jaemin: i agree with that statement

renjun: fine   
renjun: if you two say so 

renjun: what does that look mean?

jaemin: you’re kinda cute 

renjun: only kind of???!!

jeno: very cute

renjun: that’s what i thought <（￣へ￣）>  
renjun: but why so sudden

jeno: yangyang said that your love language is bullying but you’re strangely nice to us

renjun: i’m only mean to yangyang  
renjun: and dejun and kunhang and yukhei   
renjun: and maybe lele and jisungie   
renjun: and maybe donghyuck   
renjun:   
renjun: you know come to think of it

jaemin: exactly

renjun: huh i guess i never realized that  
renjun: i thought i acted the same towards you two that i did towards everyone else   
renjun: weird

jeno: you didn’t even notice it?

renjun: nah  
renjun: i really didn’t notice anything different   
renjun: ig you guess have passed my subconscious vibe check lol

jaemin: wow we’re honored

jeno: i feel accomplished now

renjun: you’re welcome haha  
renjun: what does it feel like to be the only people i don’t bully

jeno: pretty good ngl

jaemin: excluding the boba drinks…  
jaemin: i felt like a chicken with its head cut off

renjun: sorry :(

jaemin: it’s okay lmao  
jaemin: we got the boba in the end didn’t we 

jeno: yeah   
jeno: and we beat donghyuck lmao

renjun: i still don’t understand how he forgot the way when it’s literally like two buildings down from him and your building is almost halfway across campus

jaemin: it’s weird how h building is closer to v than u is   
jaemin: like don’t you think that they would organize it alphabetically 

jeno: yeah that’s kinda clapped

renjun: it would’ve been easier if you guys were closer 😔  
renjun: we could’ve hung out a lot more

jaemin: we can hang out now 😼😼

renjun: i mean that’s what we’re doing lol

jeno: do you know how long you’ll be stuck in here?

renjun: ehhhh  
renjun: not too long   
renjun: i think if they ramp up the painkillers i could be out by next saturday   
renjun: apparently their main concern is my head but who cares   
renjun: not like there’s much in there to hurt

jaemin: lies you’re very smart

renjun: uhhhhhhh  
renjun: okay whatever you say   
renjun: that won’t change the fact that i have elevator music and a single brain cell that runs into my skull like a bird into glass

jeno: that’s quite a comparison 

renjun: it’s accurate

jeno: we can never know for sure

renjun: sure you can just look at my brain scans  
renjun: no thoughts head empty

jaemin: but you subconsciously vibe check everyone you meet

renjun:   
renjun: one thought head almost empty   
renjun: but does it really count if i’m not thinking about it??

jeno: fair point  
jeno: still i’m sure you’re pretty smart 

renjun: okay okay whatever you say  
renjun: i have a feeling i won’t win no matter what i do

jaemin: wow you’re right!  
jaemin: look at you using those braincells

renjun: don’t patronize me

jaemin: lmao

jaemin: LMAO

jeno: of all the things you could use your voice for you chose to call jaemin an idiot

renjun: it was a good choice  
renjun: altho my voice is kind scratchy 

jaemin: you should wait for your voice to be healed before you call me an idiot again

renjun: so i CAN call you an idiot again

jaemin: i wasn’t about to stop you   
jaemin: you’re not even wrong

jeno: neither of you are idiots stop that

renjun: debatable

jaemin: debatable

renjun: ayy

jaemin: one brain cell gang

renjun: our brain cells should become friends  
renjun: we can bully jeno’s millions of brain cells

jeno: no????

jaemin: idk jeno it sounds like a good plan to me

jeno: bold of you to assume i possess more brain cells than you two

renjun: okay   
renjun: your thousands of braincells

jaemin: maybe a thousand is a stretch  
jaemin: a hundred?

jeno: what makes you think i’m smart anyway

jaemin: you’re an architecture major??

jeno: yeah i fried all my braincells within the first month of school soooo

renjun: we’re all one brain cell gang then

**[jaemin (admin) has changed the chat name to one brain cell gang]**

jaemin: gang gang

renjun: ugh these nurses are kinda lame  
renjun: sorry guys

jaemin: it’s okay!

jeno: you need your rest anyways  
jeno: we’ll be back tomorrow 

renjun: i’m holding you to that

jaemin: don’t worry we would never leave you alone 

renjun: you better not my one brain cell gets lonely sometimes especially without xiao yang

jeno: xiao yang?

renjun: oh  
renjun: lol that’s what we call yangyang’s half a brain cell

jaemin: LMAO

renjun: god i say half a brain cell as if he isn’t smarter than all of us combined 

jeno: really?

renjun: well maybe not smarter than the architecture major but pretty smart nonetheless

jeno: what makes you think that

jaemin: renjun you good?

renjun: sorry sorry the nurse wanted to talk to me for a second  
renjun: but he deals with a lot of technology and algorithms and shit like that   
renjun: i doubt you can manage that with only half a brain cell

jaemin: ew algorithms 

jeno: i could never

renjun: right??  
renjun: he’s smarter than everyone gives him credit for   
renjun: as soon as i can talk i am taking back every mean thing i’ve ever said to him

jaemin: that’s sweet omg

jeno: bullying love language huh

renjun: hm  
renjun: i might have to change that   
renjun: should be nice to people while i still can

jaemin: everyone knows that you care for them even if you’re being ‘mean’

renjun: bleh  
renjun: most people like being cared for in a more straightforward way

jeno: well you’re not a very straightforward person when it comes to expressing your feelings tho 

renjun: oh well  
renjun: i live to serve 

jaemin: no you should be yourself >:(

renjun: what a nice idea  
renjun: doesn’t matter lol

jeno: sigh

renjun: sorry not sorry

jaemin: does this mean we can be more touchy with you??

renjun: you can be more touchy than you already are???

jeno: that isn’t even the half of it renjun

jaemin: i can get so much worse

renjun: good god   
renjun: you know what?   
renjun: do whatever you want   
renjun: as long as like jeno is okay with it

jeno: lol don’t worry  
jeno: i trust nana

jaemin: mwah

jeno: mwah

renjun: you guys are pretty cute

jaemin: you can always join us if you want 😼

renjun: uh  
renjun: i

jaemin: sorry lol   
jaemin: that was a joke

renjun: it’s okay that just took me by surprise

jeno: just out of curiosity are you looking for a partner?

renjun: i don’t think i can manage anything  
renjun: it’s hard to deal with the job and a relationship   
renjun: one day maybe?   
renjun: idk   
renjun: i’d like one but i don’t think it’s possible

jaemin: damn that’s rough 

jeno: in the far future huh

renjun: yeah  
renjun: plus some stuff i do is kind of dangerous and anyone i’m involved with could get hurt

jaemin: robbing banks right

renjun: yeah totally lol 

jeno: well no matter what if they’re your partner they should be willing to put themselves in danger to be with you

renjun: now that’s asking a bit much  
renjun: who would ever willingly put themselves in danger?   
renjun: they’d have to have the brain of a jellyfish to do that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoop whoop there are four days left until yuta's birthday and six until sicheng's i'm mcfucking pumped guys. 
> 
> also i just realized that kun is still the sole admin of the 11:11 chat i have to find some time to give yong admin rights again lol


	33. thursday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sicheng: you already paid a good thousand something for the tickets if i didn’t pay for even the uber i would’ve been pissed
> 
> yuta: yeah i’ve never seen you pissed and i’m not about to break that streak now
> 
> sicheng: good choice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yucheng  
> Yuta: yuta  
> Sicheng: sicheng 
> 
> senior citizens  
> Taeil: ancient  
> Johnny: dad(dy)  
> Taeyong: mother  
> Yuta: emperor of japan  
> Kun: braincells  
> Doyoung: mentally crippled  
> Ten: thaicon 
> 
> greasy  
> Doyoung: hera  
> Jaehyun: zeus
> 
> Shrek 5 2k20  
> Kun: horst  
> Ten: shrek  
> Sicheng: pinocchio  
> Yukhei: prince charming  
> Xiaojun: dragon  
> Kunhang: donkey  
> Renjun: fairy godmother  
> Yangyang: puss in boots  
> Chenle: rumpelstiltskin
> 
> kim chungha enthusiasts  
> Mark: roller coaster  
> Donghyuck: stay tonight
> 
> the children  
> Chenle: lele  
> Jisung: sungie

**yucheng** **  
** **[Today, 4:03]**

**[sicheng is online]**

sicheng: i’m paying for the uber idc idc i won’t listen

**[yuta is online]**

yuta: sigh   
yuta: fine

sicheng: that’s what i thought    
sicheng: you already paid a good thousand something for the tickets if i didn’t pay for even the uber i would’ve been pissed

yuta: yeah i’ve never seen you pissed and i’m not about to break that streak now

sicheng: good choice    
sicheng: i’m already in the uber and we’re coming towards your house so get your ass in gear

yuta: woah   
yuta: okay yeah i’m already ready   
yuta: wow you in the mornings is a different breed

sicheng: in a good way or a bad way

yuta: everything with you is in a good way ;))

sicheng: flirt

yuta: yeah i’ve been told lmao

sicheng: i just need fucking coffee dude   
sicheng: gonna order an entire cup of just espresso no one can stop me

yuta: i wouldn’t even think of it

sicheng: very smart

yuta: why thank you

sicheng: outside

yuta: coming

**senior citizens** **  
** **[Today, 9:10]**

**[mother is online]**

mother: anyone seen yuta?

**[mentally crippled is online]**

mentally crippled: he should be in class right

mother: oh right i forgot about that

mentally crippled: wait   
mentally crippled: no he doesn’t have any morning classes on thursday

mother: what the fuck   
mother: please don’t tell me that we have another taeil case

**[ancient is online]**

ancient: dw yuta isn’t from a rich family    
ancient: not that i know of anyway

mother: not anymore reassuring but thank you i’m sure you’re trying your best

**[dad(dy) is online]**

dad(dy): yong relax   
dad(dy): he could’ve just gone out for a walk or something

mother: why isn’t he responding to my texts then   
mother: we’re out of butter and if he’s out and about it’d be easier to ask him to get it 

mentally crippled: i can go out and get it   
mentally crippled: i promised jaehyun that i’d go get breakfast with him

ancient: just send doyoung then and don’t worry taeyongie

mother: fine fine   
mother: you know the right one to get right doyoung

mentally crippled: you act as if i haven’t been living with you for two years   
mentally crippled: ofc i know which one to get

mother: okay thank you you’re a lifesaver

mentally crippled: come to think of it i actually want some of those lmao

dad(dy): if you’re getting candy then i remember hyuck saying recently that he’s been craving gummy bears

mentally crippled: alright

mother: thank you doyoungie

mentally crippled: anytime 

**greasy** **  
** **[Today, 9:17]**

hera: hey jaehyun do you want anything from target

**[zeus is online]**

zeus: not really   
zeus: why?

hera: i’m running errands for taeyong   
hera: altho thinking about it again it wouldn’t be very smart to go shopping beforehand and then leave butter in the car

zeus: yea that’s true

hera: anyways i’m leaving in like ten minutes

zeus: okay i’ll see you at panera

hera: see you there

**Shrek 5 2k20** **  
** **[Today, 11:03]**

**[dragon is online]**

dragon: @pinocchio where the fuck did you go

**[pinocchio is online]**

pinocchio: hi this is winwin my phone is currently on airplane mode and i’ll get back to you later

**[pinocchio is offline]**

dragon: WHAT   
dragon: now why the fuck you on airplane mode 🤔🤔   
dragon: many thoughts head full

**[prince charming and donkey are online]**

donkey: i am not liking the sound of this

prince charming: what is he doing now   
prince charming: bad feelings all around

dragon: god why is he like this    
dragon: he couldn’t just stay put for another few days

donkey: god how are we going to explain this to kun 

prince charming: fuck

dragon: goddamn it   
dragon: who the fuck is going to be taking responsibilty for everything now   
dragon: age order yukhei

prince charming: absolutely not you know i can’t take sole responsibility    
prince charming: i’m already dealing with the hospital staff

donkey: fine then dejun

dragon: fml   
dragon: okay i’ll go talk to victoria jie later   
dragon: see if she knows anything

prince charming: of all the times he could run off on his own again   
prince charming: isn’t he supposed to be chenle’s main caretaker??

donkey: if something happened to the position he would tell us

dragon: i hate it here what the fuck

**[shrek and fairy godmother are online]**

shrek: what the fuck is happening

prince charming: i thought they took your phone away

shrek: i managed to convince them i was okay but i’m regretting it now

fairy godmother: what the fuck 

dragon: exactly   
dragon: god 

shrek: gonna have to speed up the healing process then

donkey: or you could just let us take care of this

shrek: like hell i will

dragon: if it turns out that i can’t handle it then i will ask jackson ge for help but ten   
dragon: let yourself rest   
dragon: okay?   
dragon: we can take care of this

shrek: sounds fake

fairy godmother: what are you going to do about it   
fairy godmother: you’re just like me   
fairy godmother: stuck in bed   
fairy godmother: you need to let yourself heal properly

shrek: fine fine   
shrek: i’m gonna fucking shut off my phone for the rest of the year good god

prince charming: god i should do that too

fairy godmother: i did that for about two days    
fairy godmother: i couldn’t handle it

donkey: just don’t worry we got this    
donkey: not like me and dejun have anything better to do 

shrek: i’m putting all my trust in you guys   
shrek: but like   
shrek: no pressure

dragon: NO PRESSURE LMAO   
dragon: we’ll try our best now rest you hag

shrek: hag?????   
shrek: the disrespect

fairy godmother: good night hag

prince charming: you rest too renjun

fairy godmother: over my dead body

dragon: N O 

donkey: renjun no 

fairy godmother: renjun yes

prince charming: go to sleep both of you    
prince charming: or at least rest

shrek: okay okay   
shrek: please don’t get too stressed   
shrek: the admins are there for a reason

fairy godmother: even tho basically 2 out of 5 are incapacitated

dragon: st.van is just a different breed   
dragon: he was in the same place as yang but he’s already working like nothing happened

donkey: fr like how the hell did he do that

shrek: probably experience lol   
shrek: you guys have heard of how chaotic things used to be

prince charming: yeah that’s true   
prince charming: but that’s like superhuman behavior

fairy godmother: i’m so super ey

donkey: superhuman best nct 127 tt other than chain you can’t change my mind

dragon: god i knew there was a reason i liked you

donkey: that’s the only reason???

shrek: idk personally i like simon says    
shrek: chain is superior tho 

prince charming: l-limitless gang wya

fairy godmother: here   
fairy godmother: i’m torn between limitless and cherry bomb 

dragon: punch, kick it, touch, firetruck, wakey wakey, and regular in the corner like 🧍♂️

shrek: okay all those are good but like none are better than simon says and chain

prince charming: nothing can ever beat chain    
prince charming: so underrated

dragon: how did we get on this conversation shouldn’t the cripples be resting

donkey: wait renjun did you purposely start this convo to distract us

fairy godmother: yeah and i fucking succeeded

dragon: not anymore go rest you dumbasses

shrek: fine    
shrek: sigh

fairy godmother: i hate you guys

dragon: hate you too

fairy godmother: i’m just kidding ily

donkey: wtf 

prince charming: that’s a first

fairy godmother: i’m trying to be a nicer person

dragon: just be yourself   
dragon: that’s the renjun everyone loves

fairy godmother: loves   
fairy godmother: lol you’re funny you should be a comedian 

dragon: i’m being serious

**[fairy godmother is offline]**

dragon: damn

shrek: that’s my cue to go too

prince charming: rest well!!

shrek: yepp

**[shrek is offline]**

**kim chungha enthusiasts** **  
** **[Today, 14:33]**

**[roller coaster is online]**

roller coaster: hey are you at your dorm?

**[stay tonight is online]**

stay tonight: nope i’m out rn   
stay tonight: why?

roller coaster: i was going to return your hoodie but if you’re out that’s okay

stay tonight: i can be back in like five minutes tops

roller coaster: it’s okay i don’t to keep you

stay tonight: i was just helping sunwoo and eric with something don’t worry

roller coaster: you sure?

stay tonight: yeah ofc   
stay tonight: if it’s better for you i can even go to your dorm

roller coaster: it’s okay   
roller coaster: chan said that going on walks helps him with stress so imma try that

stay tonight: okay    
stay tonight: do you want to stay a little bit?

roller coaster: what about chani?

stay tonight: he’s out with rowoon today   
stay tonight: so you’re more than welcome to hang around

roller coaster: okay 🥺

stay tonight: maybe we go check out that cafe that opened up next to campus

roller coaster: oh yeah i heard it was good

stay tonight: well we got a plan then   
stay tonight: see you in a few minutes ^^

roller coaster: see you :)

**the children** **  
** **[Today, 15:30]**

**[sungie is online]**

sungie: hey lele my mom wants me to drop off food for you guys    
sungie: is it okay if i come now?

**[lele is online]**

lele: uh   
lele: yeah go ahead

sungie: is something wrong?

lele: maybe?   
lele: sicheng disappeared and his phone is on airplane mode so we can’t contact him

sungie: oh no

lele: yeah so dejun and kunhang are gonna have to be temporary leaders    
lele: and yukhei is running around with the hospital staff to help take care of the actual hospitalized members   
lele: meanwhile i’m just sitting here useless

sungie: i don’t know if that makes you useless

lele: i’ve literally been to three places in the past 24 hours   
lele: renjun’s room, ten and kun’s room, and the cafeteria   
lele: and i’ve done nothing but try to talk to them 

sungie: i mean having someone to talk to when you’re in a hospital bed is probably the best feeling to exist   
sungie: speaking from personal experience being alone when you’re recovering is absolute hell   
sungie: so just being there for them is more than enough   
sungie: just because you don’t have an official job doesn’t mean that you’re being useless   
sungie: and i’ve only known you for a month ish but i know that there’s no way that you can possibly be useless   
sungie: you’re the most talented and cheerful person i’ve ever met and you always know how to make people feel better   
sungie: so you’re not useless and i wish you didn’t think that about yourself

sungie: lele?   
sungie: are you okay?

lele: yeha   
lele: i migh t eb cryinf or soemthign   
lele: how teh fukc di d oyu maek me cry wha the fuc

sungie: NO   
sungie: i’m so so sorry i didn’t think that would make you cry   
sungie: i’m so sorry    
sungie: i’m like a minute away but i’m running now

lele: dotn tri p or somethnig 

sungie: i will not   
sungie: i will see you in a little bit and there will be no more tears

lele: oaky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh sicheng and yuta's birthdays... i love them... i love them so damn much... i don't even care if we get interactions as long as they're happy... 
> 
> about the comments, oh god, i'm so sorry for not replying to any of them. i really really want to, and I will!!! but it might take a while...  
> anyways this is the last chapter before i introduce sungchan and shotaro! any guesses for what role they're going to have?


	34. thursday/friday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dongyoung: can i ask you guys for some advice
> 
> [taeil is online]
> 
> taeil: what’s up doyoung?
> 
> dongyoung: so say  
> dongyoung: hypothetically

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> friends 😄  
> Taeil: taeil  
> Yuta: yuta  
> Kun: kun  
> Doyoung: dongyoung
> 
> greasy  
> Doyoung: hera  
> Jaehyun: zeus
> 
> Shrek 5 2k20  
> Kun: horst  
> Ten: shrek  
> Sicheng: pinocchio  
> Yukhei: prince charming  
> Xiaojun: dragon  
> Kunhang: donkey  
> Renjun: fairy godmother  
> Yangyang: puss in boots  
> Chenle: rumpelstiltskin
> 
> yuil  
> Taeil: illie  
> Yuta: yuyu
> 
> ugly squad  
> Shotaro: anime girl  
> Sungchan: tuna

**friends 😄** **  
****[Today, 22:25]**

**[dongyoung is online]**

dongyoung: can i ask you guys for some advice

**[taeil is online]**

taeil: what’s up doyoung?

dongyoung: so say  
dongyoung: hypothetically   
dongyoung: yuta is eating out with his mystery crush and he accidentally lets it slip that he likes the other person   
dongyoung: and his crush says it’s mutual but yuta doesn’t feel ready for a relationship   
dongyoung: but he also really really likes this person and has liked them for years and is scared that if he waits too long the other person will not like him anymore

taeil: ah  
taeil: i’d say that yuta should take his time and not go into anything he isn’t ready for regardless of how much he likes the other person   
taeil: if the other person truly does feel that way about yuta then he’d be willing to wait for yuta until he’s ready   
taeil: yuta has to trust the other person to wait for him

dongyoung: okay  
dongyoung: thank you

taeil: if you ever need any help don’t hesitate to come to us

dongyoung: okay 

taeil: i hope everything turns out well for you doyoungie 🥺

dongyoung: me too

**greasy** **  
****[Today, 22:45]**

hera: hey jaehyun

**[zeus is online]**

zeus: hey doyoung is everything okay?

hera: i’m sorry  
hera: i don’t think i can give you what you want right now   
hera: i’m just not ready for anything   
hera: on top of my dad there’s china line and senior year   
hera: i’m sorry

zeus: you have nothing you need to apologize for   
zeus: i knew already that you were dealing with your own problems and wouldn’t want something like a relationship to get in the way   
zeus: i’m perfectly fine with waiting for you   
zeus: i already said that i would support you no matter what so take your time okay?   
zeus: i just want to see you happy   
zeus: that’s all i’ve ever wanted

hera: you’re so fucking sappy yoonoh jung

zeus: are you saying that in a good way or a bad way

hera: both

zeus: i’m focusing on the good things :D

hera: lol  
hera: thank you

zeus: for what?  
zeus: i’m just doing whatever i want

hera: thank you for understanding

zeus: i would have to be a douche of the highest level to try and force a relationship on you  
zeus: you don’t need to thank me

hera: still  
hera: i really appreciate everything   
hera: even with all the times that you’ve comforted me since his death you never tried to push the boundaries   
hera: never once tried to tell me to get over it

zeus: i’m not that big of an asshole :/  
zeus: i know you need time to heal, and i know how hard senior year can be   
zeus: you amaze me ngl

hera: ?

zeus: all this shit that’s happening and not once have you complained or broken down  
zeus: not that i know of anyway   
zeus: you’re just so strong and i respect that and you so much

hera: ha  
hera: me?   
hera: strong?   
hera: have you seen me arm wrestle?

zeus: not in that way lmao  
zeus: you know what i mean

hera: i do  
hera: thank you for everything you’ve done and thank you for all the things you will probably continue to do   
hera: i’m sorry that i keep making you wait

zeus: for you?  
zeus: i’d wait a million eternities and another decillion years   
zeus: so don’t ever worry about that

**Shrek 5 2k20** **  
****[Today, 12:21]**

**[horst is online]**

**[prince charming is online]**

prince charming: are you allowed to be on your phone ge?

horst: i convinced them  
horst: i have to check all my messages   
horst: there’s a lot

prince charming: you can leave it to me and xiaodery  
prince charming: we’ve got it

horst: it’s not that i don’t trust you  
horst: it’s just that i need to know what i’ve missed   
horst: it’s been almost two weeks 

prince charming: don’t push yourself too hard okay?

horst: i won’t

horst: alright now what the hell is up with sicheng

prince charming: we don’t know  
prince charming: he still hasn’t replied to anyone   
prince charming: but don’t worry we’ll handle it

horst: how are you going to do that?

prince charming: we’ll just improv ^^ we seem to be pretty decent at that

horst: okay okay  
horst: i believe in you guys 

prince charming: thanks ge

horst: you can do it  
horst: i know you can so don’t put too much pressure on yourselves   
horst: know your limits

prince charming: we know 

horst: okay  
horst: good luck to all of you

**yuil** **  
****[Today, 13:25]**

**[illie is online]**

illie: hey yuta care to tell us where you are?

**[yuyu is online]**

yuyu: promise you won’t be mad? 🥺

illie: that really depends  
illie: should i be concerned

yuyu: i don’t know?

illie: where are you?

yuyu: …  
yuyu: south korea…?

illie: what the fuck  
illie: you just decided to dip to korea in the middle of the year   
illie: what goes on in your mind   
illie: actually i’m pretty sure i know what it is   
illie: you’re with sicheng aren’t you

yuyu: i might be…

illie: disappointed but not surprised  
illie: i’m assuming that he didn’t want you to tell anyone?

yuyu: yeah  
yuyu: and since no one seemed too worried about it i figured might as well stay quiet until they freak out

illie: :/  
illie: the only reason that no one is freaking out is because i told them that you went back to japan for a family emergency and forgot your phone at a cousin’s house

yuyu: thanks 

illie: you’ll have to tell them eventually tho  
illie: you know that

yuyu: i know  
yuyu: i’m more waiting for the okay from sicheng than anything else

illie: why did you even go?

yuyu: bc i was sick of being stuck in a supporting role  
yuyu: ik it sounds selfish but like i wanted to be able to actually do something than provide emotional support

illie: so you decided to just leave the country on a whim

yuyu:   
yuyu: wELL WHEN YOU SAY IT LIKE THAT

illie: you really don’t think anything thru do you

yuyu: :/

illie: your mystery crush is sicheng isn’t it

yuyu: u h h h h h h h h h h h h h 

illie: oh my god  
illie: you’re cute but good god you’re so fucking stupid 

yuyu: ik that already!!!! 😠

illie: you know getting involved with him is gonna require a lot of time and effort  
illie: even more than right now

yuyu: idek dude!!!  
yuyu: it could just be like a temporary thing!!!

illie: you flew out of the country,,,,  
illie: so that you could be with him and help him,,,,

yuyu:  
yuyu: idek   
yuyu: i am currently trying to not focus on it bc i already know falling this fast is a mistake

illie: i’m glad you’re self aware at least

yuyu: how could i not be  
yuyu: this is fast even for me

illie: i’m always here for you tho  
illie: you know that right

yuyu: yeah ofc  
yuyu: i’m a little worried about doyoung tho   
yuyu: did something happen between him and jaehyun

illie: i don’t know  
illie: he hasn’t said anything else about it

yuyu: worry

illie: don’t  
illie: you have enough on your plate right now

yuyu: so do you 🤨

illie: i’ll be alright  
illie: at the very least i won’t run off to another country lol

yuyu: 😳  
yuyu: 😒😒

illie: i’m joking loser

yuyu: but haha it really wasn’t my smartest idea

illie: but are you happy?  
illie: forget about the rest of us, are YOU having a good time

yuyu: sort of?  
yuyu: as good of a time as i can have

illie: then it’s all good  
illie: if you’re having fun then who cares about anything else   
illie: wait isn’t it 2 am for you??

yuyu: might be  
yuyu: who am i to say

illie: go to sleep you stupid fuck

yuyu: okay okay   
yuyu: thank you for everything

illie: just don’t die okay?

yuyu: i promise

**ugly squad** **  
****[Today, 15:30]**

**[anime girl is online]**

anime girl: _hey what was that noise_   
anime girl: _it was kind of like something breaking?_

**[tuna is online]**

tuna: _i don’t know i didn’t hear it_   
tuna: _wait why are you even awake it’s literally 4 in the morning_

anime girl: _reasons_

tuna: _bruh_   
tuna: _are mom and dad home?_

anime girl: _i think so_

tuna: _then we’ll be fine_

anime girl: _dumbass go check_

tuna: _why don’t you do it??_

anime girl: _i have homework you loser_

tuna: _okay okay i’ll go check_

anime girl: _okay thanks_

anime girl: _dude you good_

tuna: _i think we have to leave_

anime girl: _what?_

**Conversation with Tingyan Chong** **  
** **[Today, 18:37]**

Tingyan Chong: sicheng.

**[Si Cheng Dong is online]**

Si Cheng Dong: what’s up?

Tingyan Chong: i know you’re busy right now but   
Tingyan Chong: we might have a problem

Si Cheng Dong: what does that mean?

Tingyan Chong: you know the name of one of the people behind this, right?   
Tingyan Chong: ryu hoyeon if i’m not mistaken?

Si Cheng Dong: how did you know?

Tingyan Chong: i’ve been researching this entire time and getting into the backup files from security footage of that night   
Tingyan Chong: but his family, they’re also part of a crime syndicate in korea

Si Cheng Dong: okay?   
Si Cheng Dong: what’s the problem?

Tingyan Chong: the crime syndicate that he’s a part of just attacked another family   
Tingyan Chong: they killed the parents and let two sons get away   
Tingyan Chong: and since you’re in korea and they’re in korea, i was hoping you could perhaps track them down and help them out?   
Tingyan Chong: they might be able to provide us some more information that i wouldn’t be able to find just on internet files

Si Cheng Dong: so i’d have to check the entire country?

Tingyan Chong: you have someone else with you, right?

Si Cheng Dong: yes but he doesn’t know anything about this, about us

Tingyan Chong: then tell him that he’s just picking up friends of yours

Si Cheng Dong: would it not be dangerous?

Tingyan Chong: he should be alright   
Tingyan Chong: if you agree to letting him go, i’ll send the relative location for the sons and wire you some money so he can go pick them up

Si Cheng Dong: you’re sure he won’t be hurt?

Tingyan Chong: you know better than anyone that nothing can be guaranteed here

Si Cheng Dong: then i’m personally against it

Tingyan Chong: i hope you think your options over   
Tingyan Chong: the boys are hiding in a safe place, and your friend is unrelated to our background   
Tingyan Chong: there is little chance of him being put in any real danger   
Tingyan Chong: and if we manage to take the sons to a safe place, we might be able to secure the states for chenle to stay   
Tingyan Chong: that’s the entire reason that you went to korea, is it not? to try and ensure that chenle can continue living here instead of back home?

Si Cheng Dong: okay   
Si Cheng Dong: send me the location, i’ll send him to pick them up asap

Tingyan Chong: good choice   
Tingyan Chong: after he returns with the sons, i suggest both of you return to the states

Si Cheng Dong: noted   
Si Cheng Dong: i’ll see you when i get back then   
Si Cheng Dong: thank you for the tip

Tingyan Chong: of course   
Tingyan Chong: we all care about lele, so don’t hesitate to ask any of us for help, okay?   
Tingyan Chong: even if you think otherwise, you’re not alone in this

Si Cheng Dong: noted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry there wasn't some huge cliffhanger or reveal about sungchan and shotaro but if i put the elkie/sicheng conversation in the next chapter this one would be too short.  
> hehe  
> go go dojae
> 
> also the nct world 2.0 episode? god, this really is just sicheng and jungwoo's world and we're just living in it. how did we ever get so blessed to have people like them in our lives, i'll never understand. 
> 
> i think i updated this out of pure stress for the election hehe. i don't want my rights to be taken away just because i wasn't born a cishet white male. 
> 
> anyways i hope you guys liked it as usual, have a lovely day/night, and until next time!


	35. friday/saturday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yuta: i trust that you would never send me to my death
> 
> sicheng: never knowingly
> 
> yuta: well it’s better than nothing 😄

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yucheng  
> Yuta: yuta  
> Sicheng: sicheng 
> 
> siyong  
> Taeyong: taeyong  
> Sicheng: sicheng
> 
> 11:11  
> Taeil: princess yue  
> Johnny: johnny appleseed  
> Taeyong: teayong  
> Yuta: yuTA  
> Kun: kung-fu  
> Doyoung: dingdong  
> Ten: number  
> Jaehyun: uknow  
> Sicheng: soupcheng  
> Jungwoo: jungle  
> Yukhei: yukas  
> Mark: markus  
> Xiaojun: of july  
> Kunhang: kun man  
> Renjun: renning  
> Jeno: jenna  
> Donghyuck: hockey hyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemming  
> Yangyang: sheepsheep  
> Chenle: angel le  
> Jisung: jwisung 
> 
> ring ding dong  
> Taeil: moon  
> Sicheng: dong
> 
> chem buddies  
> Johnny: johnny  
> Taeyong: taeyong
> 
> johnjae  
> Johnny: john  
> Jaehyun: jae

**yucheng** **  
****[Today, 20:28]**

**[yuta is online]**

yuta: so i’m near the warehouse  
yuta: i just enter and say that thing?

**[sicheng is online]**

sicheng: yeah  
sicheng: they should leave pretty quickly   
sicheng: then we’ll meet at the airport like we went over

yuta: okay  
yuta: stay safe

sicheng: i should be saying that to you

yuta: i’ll be fine!!  
yuta: i trust that you would never send me to my death

sicheng: never knowingly

yuta: well it’s better than nothing 😄

sicheng: yeah  
sicheng: regardless stay safe

yuta: okay you too!!

**siyong** **  
****[Today, 7:56]**

**[sicheng is online]**

sicheng: hey taeyong?

**[taeyong is online]**

taeyong: hi sicheng! what’s up?  
taeyong: is everything okay?

sicheng: do you think it would be okay if two other friends of mine join nct?

taeyong: yeah of course!  
taeyong: should i message them or do you want to be the middle man?

sicheng: i’ll be the middle man  
sicheng: they’re kind of awkward

taeyong: okay that’s totally fine!  
taeyong: what are their names?

sicheng: shotaro and sungchan  
sicheng: shotaro is college freshman and sungchan is high school senior   
sicheng: they just came from korea so they’re not too fluent in english

taeyong: it’s okay!  
taeyong: are they going to the same college as us?

sicheng: no, they had to transfer to the states really really quick so they’re not enrolled in school right now

taeyong: oh, i see!  
taeyong: okay, i would love to let you add them to 11:11 chat but unfortunately i don’t have admin rights anymore :/

sicheng: i’ll see if i can ask kun to give you rights again

taeyong: that would be great, thank you so much!

sicheng: yeah, no problem

**11:11** **  
****[Today, 8:07]**

**[kung-fu is online]** **  
** **[kung-fu (admin) has given admin access to teayong]** **  
** **[kung-fu is offline]** **  
** **[teayong (admin) has given admin access to soupcheng]** **  
** **[soupcheng (admin) has added Shotaro Osaki and Sungchan Jung to the chat!]** **  
** **[teayong (admin) has removed admin rights from soupcheng]** **  
** **[princess yue, johnny appleseed, dingdong, and seven others are online]**

jenna: who??

hockey hyuck: kun was here!!

jaemming: more people?

markus: we’ve certainly been through a lot huh

jungle: idk i’m looking forward to it

uknow: more china line members?  
uknow: but they’re not chinese?

teayong: they’re apparently friends of sicheng’s who just transferred really recently

jwisung: oh

dingdong: welcome to america

princess yue: we’re super glad to have you

johnny appleseed: would they join the new unit?

teayong: i suppose it would be up to them

hockey hyuck: how old are they?

soupcheng: shotaro is your age and sungchan is chenle and jisung’s age

hockey hyuck: omg another freshman 

jenna: so many of us

jaemming: bc we’re superior

teayong: right  
teayong: anyways they’re not super fluent in english so please don’t expect much conversation from them

jungle: where’d they come from  
jungle: that’s like japanese and korean names

soupcheng: shotaro is sungchan’s unofficial brother and they both came from korea but yeah, shotaro is japanese

princess yue: oh!

jwisung: so are they in the states right now?

soupcheng: yeah  
soupcheng: they’re getting settled right now

johnny appleseed: well, i’m looking forward to getting to know them

**ring ding dong** **  
****[Today, 8:50]**

moon: so does this mean that yuta is back with you

dong: yeah  
dong: he’s resting right now 

moon: shouldn’t you be resting too?

dong: have to go to the hospital first and explain why i vanished for a few days

moon: good luck

dong: thanks i’m sure i’ll need it

**Conversation with Sungchan Jung** **  
** **[Today, 10:13]**

**[Sungchan Jung is online]**

Sungchan Jung:  _ so the nct group will help us blend in? _

Si Cheng Dong:  _ yeah, that’s the plan _ _   
_ Si Cheng Dong:  _ i’m sorry to put you two through this _

Sungchan Jung:  _ it’s totally fine, we’re glad that you’re even taking the time to help  _

Si Cheng Dong:  _ of course _ _   
_ Si Cheng Dong:  _ yuta will be there to help with whatever you need, so don’t hesitate to ask him _ _   
_ Si Cheng Dong:  _ he can speak some korean too, so don’t feel pressured to speak only english _

Sungchan Jung:  _ well, shotaro hyung has been talking with him just fine so far _

Si Cheng Dong:  _ good for him, but in case you need something, just ask either of us _

Sungchan Jung:  _ okay, thank you so much _

Si Cheng Dong:  _ no problem. rest well _

Sungchan Jung:  _ thank you ^^ _

**chem buddies** **  
****[Today, 14:53]**

**[taeyong is online]**

taeyong: hey

**[johnny is online]**

johnny: hey what’s up?

taeyong: where are you?

johnny: i’m out with jaehyun right now   
johnny: do you need me at home?

taeyong: no no it’s okay  
taeyong: have fun

johnny: when you say it like that i get worried  
johnny: i’ll come back and bring jaehyun for doyoung and then we can talk okay?

taeyong: are you sure?  
taeyong: i don’t want to interrupt whatever you two are doing

johnny: it’s totally okay  
johnny: it’s not more important than you so don’t sweat it

taeyong: okay  
taeyong: i’ll see you in a bit

**ring ding dong** **  
****[Today, 17:22]**

**[moon is online]**

moon: so apparently elkie just showed up at the company building demanding an audience with bin

**[dong is online]**

dong: seriously?

moon: yeah  
moon: she’s very persistent and kind of bullied the staff into letting her meet him

dong: oh my god i’m sorry

moon: no lol   
moon: everyone aside from the staff that she bullied is getting a laugh out of it   
moon: especially bin

dong: why?

moon: he thinks it’s cute how dedicated she is to chenle’s case

dong: 🤨  
dong: but how are they doing?

moon: well bin has always been on our side so they’re going to have a virtual meeting with chenle’s parents and see if they can do anything

dong: thank god

moon: apparently she told bin to pass a message to me then to you   
moon: she said to not worry about chenle and only about the sons   
moon: did something else happen?

dong: i don’t think i’m supposed to tell

moon: ahh  
moon: okay   
moon: i’m just glad you’re back safely

dong: i was only gone for like 2 days

moon: your point?  
moon: a lot can happen in 2 days

dong: ...true  
dong: thank you tho

moon: idk what you’re saying thank you for but ik that it’s probably something that you don’t need to say thank you for

dong: for helping me out yknow?  
dong: you’ve just done a whole lot for me and the rest of china line and it makes me really happy to know that there’s someone out there who would actually help out people with our occupation   
dong: so yeah   
dong: thank you for caring so much about me and china line and putting so much on the line for us 

moon: woah don’t fall for me too quickly lol

dong: don’t worry i won’t ^^  
dong: i mean no offense 

moon: ik ik it’s all jokes  
moon: i have to go now, have homework i procrastinated on   
moon: adios

dong: bye thank you for everything

moon: no problem :)

**[moon is offline]**

**yucheng** **  
****[Today, 17:58]**

**[yuta is online]**

yuta: i would like to inform you that i am adopting shotaro and sungchan thank you

**[sicheng is online]**

sicheng: y-you are aware that they’re both over 18?

yuta: your point?

sicheng: ...okay, you do you  
sicheng: i’m glad you guys are getting along well 

yuta: well, sungchan is a little quiet but he’s cute  
yuta: i still love him   
yuta: and shotaro has made it his life’s mission to make me fluent in korean

sicheng: how is he doing in that?

yuta: i can ask where the bathroom is!  
yuta: and i can tell someone to go fuck themselves!

sicheng: ...i’m not sure if shotaro is the best teacher out there

yuta: he’s doing his best 😔

sicheng: i’m sure he is  
sicheng: i’ll be coming back in about fifteen minutes? so you can get ready to leave

yuta: you sure?  
yuta: i can stay with you guys for the night   
yuta: it’s not like i’m doing anything tomorrow

sicheng: i wouldn’t want to impose…  
sicheng: you’ve already spent a few days across the world because of me, you should probably go back to the your apartment and explain to everyone where you were

yuta: they thought i went back to japan for a family emergency, so you don’t need to worry about that

sicheng: …

yuta: 🥺🥺🥺

sicheng: i hate that face cause i know i won’t win against it

yuta: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

sicheng: fine!!  
sicheng: i’ll still feel bad tho

yuta: no!  
yuta: i am doing this of my own free will because i like the children so it is in no way your fault

sicheng: you sure?

yuta: absolutely  
yuta: or as ishigami senku would say   
yuta: ten billion percent certain

sicheng: ishigami senku?

yuta: omg  
yuta: you haven’t seen dr.stone?

sicheng: no…

yuta: guess i know what we’re doing starting tonight

sicheng: is it any good?

yuta: it’s the best  
yuta: best show for best boy sicheng

sicheng: i will trust your judgement for this then

yuta: are you saying that you don’t usually trust my judgement?? 🤨🤨

sicheng: perhaps,,, maybe a little,,,

yuta: g a s p   
yuta: what is this betrayal

sicheng: you have to be honest tho, sometimes...  
sicheng: your judgement is a little kooky you know?

yuta: what?????  
yuta: i’m just kidding i know

sicheng: okay okay  
sicheng: if you didn’t, i’d be a little more concerned than normal

yuta: you need to stop worrying!  
yuta: tonight is all for good vibes   
yuta: you’re going to watch dr.stone with me, shotaro, and sungchan, and we can all forget about whatever is stressing us out   
yuta: sound like a plan?

sicheng: yeah  
sicheng: that sounds really nice actually

yuta: i’m glad  
yuta: hurry back but like, don’t die

sicheng: i won’t

**johnjae** **  
****[Today, 20:34]**

**[jae is online]**

jae: so what did taeyong need?

**[john is online]**

john: still not completely sure  
john: he latched onto me and fell asleep almost immediately   
john: but he still hasn’t said anything since waking up

jae: what…

john: i mean stuff has obviously been bothering him for a while but i don’t even know what it is

jae: well to be fair so much has happened so quickly  
jae: doyoung’s dad, taeil’s family, china line almost getting blown to smithereens, china line needing to go back to china, then sicheng and yuta just straight up disappearing for a few days   
jae: i would be more concerned if he wasn’t bothered by anything

john: yeah but i think there’s like  
john: more personal feelings involved?   
john: you know how he is   
john: never satisfied with himself and pushing himself to do stuff he just can’t

jae: yeah i know  
jae: it’s still worrying

john: well i think you should be more concerned about doyoung, but that’s just like my opinion

jae: oh trust me i’m very very worried about him  
jae: but he seems to be somewhat recovering   
jae: he obviously won’t be fine for a while but i can tell that he’s making an effort at least

john: that’s true   
john: he ate breakfast this morning, so that’s a huge improvement

jae: it is  
jae: he’ll recover on his own time   
jae: and we’ll all be here for him when he does, right?

john: yeah ofc  
john: that isn’t even a question

_“One more?”_

_“You are aware that it is almost four? Sungchan and Shotaro are already asleep. I never expected you to actually like it this much.”_

_“I just don’t want to sleep. I don’t like sleeping when stressed.”_

_“You’re on the verge of falling asleep right now though.”_

_“Please?”_

_“Alright, one more. But that’s it. On god.”_

_Sicheng finds out that Yuta's shoulder is incredibly comfortable that night, and even though he wakes up with a stupid crick in his neck, it's the best sleep he's had since Chenle was sixteen._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe go watch dr.stone it's actually really good, lots of science knowledge, very useful
> 
> bark  
> say it back


	36. sunday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> princess yue: _well for sungchan, chenle and jisung are the same age, and for shotaro, renjun, jeno, donghyuck, jaemin, and yangyang are the same age_
> 
> Jung Sungchan: _chenle????_
> 
> Osaki Shotaro: _zhong chenle??????_
> 
> teayong: _is that a problem?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 11:11  
> Taeil: princess yue  
> Johnny: johnny appleseed  
> Taeyong: teayong  
> Yuta: yuTA  
> Kun: kung-fu  
> Doyoung: dingdong  
> Ten: number  
> Jaehyun: uknow  
> Sicheng: soupcheng  
> Jungwoo: jungle  
> Yukhei: yukas  
> Mark: markus  
> Xiaojun: of july  
> Kunhang: kun man  
> Renjun: renning  
> Jeno: jenna  
> Donghyuck: hockey hyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemming  
> Yangyang: sheepsheep  
> Shotaro: shota  
> Sungchan: sungshi  
> Chenle: angel le  
> Jisung: jwisung 
> 
> ring ding dong  
> Taeil: moon  
> Sicheng: dong

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 7:38]**

**[Shotaro Osaki and Sungchan Jung are online]**

**[teayong is online]**

teayong:  _ hi! i’m not sure how much you can understand in english so i’m gonna use my bad korean _

Sungchan Jung:  _ i didn’t know that any of you spoke korean? _

teayong:  _ well mine is kind of bad _ _   
_ teayong:  _ expect many mistakes _

Shotaro Osaki:  _ well i’m sure it can’t be that bad _

Sungchan Jung:  _ are you a hyung? _

teayong:  _ yes! i’m a college senior _

Shotaro Osaki:  _ it’s nice to meet you hyung _

Sungchan Jung:  _ what he said _

teayong:  _ it’s nice to meet you two too!! _ _   
_ teayong:  _ i hope that we can meet in person soon! _

Sungchan Jung:  _ us too! _

**[princess yue, dingdong, markus, and two others are online]**

princess yue:  _ i can speak korean too! _ _   
_ princess yue:  _ by the way, everyone but chenle and jisung are hyungs to you _ _   
_ princess yue:  _ well for sungchan, chenle and jisung are the same age, and for shotaro, renjun, jeno, donghyuck, jaemin, and yangyang are the same age _

Sungchan Jung:  _ chenle???? _

Shotaro Osaki:  _ zhong chenle?????? _

teayong:  _ is that a problem? _

**New Group Conversation** **  
** **[Today, 7:43]**

**[Taeil Moon (admin) has added Shotaro Osaki and Sungchan Jung to the chat!]**

Taeil Moon:  _ no one knows about chenle’s family _   
Taeil Moon:  _ we have to keep it that way _

Sungchan Jung:  _ oh sorry! _

Shotaro Osaki:  _ yeah sorry sorry _

Taeil Moon:  _ it’s totally okay, you didn’t know _ _   
_ Taeil Moon:  _ just for future reference _

**_  
_ ** **11:11** **  
** **[Today. 9:45]**

Sungchan Jung:  _ no it’s fine _ _   
_ Sungchan Jung:  _ i just have a friend with the same name _

teayong:  _ oh! _

Shotaro Osaki:  _ no one else speaks korean? _

dingdong:  _ i do but i am very bad at speaking korean. _

Sungchan Jung:  _ you did fine ^^ _

markus: i don’t speak it but i can understand it

jenna:  _ mine is very rusty _ _   
_ jenna:  _ i haven’t spoken it in a while _

jwisung: i do but my brain cannot comprehend things this early in the morning

Sungchan Jung: I speak little English?

Shotaro Osaki:  ㅋㅋㅋ

Sungchan Jung:  _ oh shut up _

teayong: it’s okay!   
teayong: do you understand it at least?

Sungchan Jung: yes

Shotaro Osaki: I am almost fluent in English!   
Shotaro Osaki: I can hold conversations

jenna: that’s good

dingdong: should we rename them now or wait for jaemin and donghyuck

**[jaemming and hockey hyuck are online]**

jaemming: i have been: summoned

hockey hyuck: renaming???   
hockey hyuck: new people!!!

jaemming: altho, it is considerably easier to rename people when you’ve seen them at least once

hockey hyuck: wait let me work my weeb magic

teayong: oh no

markus: what are you going to do to them donghyuck

hockey hyuck: i don’t know!   
hockey hyuck: the world is full of possibilities!

jwisung: ominous   
jwisung: i apologize in advance on donghyuck’s behalf

**[hockey hyuck has changed Shotaro Osaki’s name to shota]**

shota: uh  
shota: I’m trying to remember the phrase  
shota: oh!  
shota: thanks I hate it

hockey hyuck: LMAO  
hockey hyuck: my weeb knowledge has come in handy

shota: I’m not even a shota!!  
shota: this is Slander

Sungchan Jung:  _ i’d say it fits you, hyung _

shota:  _ i’m going to throw you down a staircase _

Sungchan Jung:  _ woah _

teayong: let’s not throw each other down staircases, yeah?

jaemming: you are not safe either Mr Sungchan Jung

Sungchan Jung:  _ you know nothing about me, you cannot possibly change my name _

jaemming: you are correct, i do not   
jaemming: but shotaro does, does he not?

Sungchan Jung: don’t do it hoe

shota: too late   
shota: hey be glad i’m not putting something as embarrassing as shota

**[shota has changed Sungchan Jung’s name to sungshi]**

shota: for sushi!

sungshi: _oh it’s not that bad_

shota: right  
shota: _thank your hyung_

sungshi: _absolutely not_

princess yue: do you like sushi sungchan?

sungshi: yes!  
sungshi: and sashimi

dingdong: yuta is super good at making that stuff

shota: yeah he made it for us last night

jenna: you guys have already met yuta?

sungshi: _he was with sicheng when we met at the airport_

teayong: oh!  
teayong: i thought that he was in japan for a family emergency

princess yue: they must’ve got back at the same time

jwisung: sus

markus: lowkey

hockey hyuck: highkey more like it

markus: yeah you’re right

teayong: whatever i’ll interrogate him later  
teayong: sungchan, shotaro, do you guys have any experience with performing?  
teayong: like not just dance but either singing or rapping?

sungshi: _i used to mess around with rap but i stopped a while ago_ _  
_sungshi: _we both dance tho_

shota: I haven’t done either singing or rapping

teayong: hmm  
teayong: we’ll have to see what units we can put you in

markus: i guess for now they can be in nct u?

teayong: yeah  
teayong: maybe when we get new members we’ll put them in a fixed unit

jenna: come to think of it  
jenna: me mark and jaemin have almost finished ot7 dream’s song

dingdong: already???

jaemming: we’re just cool ig

markus: cause jeno and jaemin pulled an all nighter 

jenna: bruh

jaemming: bruh

jwisung: good job

jenna: you should’ve stayed up with us

jwisung: no thanks

jaemming: are you trying to force a poor sleep schedule on my baby???

jenna: w h a t  
jenna: i would never

teayong: please do not force poor sleep schedules on anyone  
teayong: and i understand your enthusiasm but you shouldn’t pull all nighters either

markus: they were apparently ‘on a creative streak’

hockey hyuck: bullshit  
hockey hyuck: they just wanted coffee at fucking 1 in the morning and were doped up

jenna: what???

jaemming: now where did you get that idea donghyuck

hockey hyuck: i have receipts of you two pestering me while i was tRYING TO SLEEP

dingdong: go to sleep ffs

jenna: never

jaemming: never

shota: But did you sleep properly the next day?

jenna: no

jaemming: no

teayong: that’s the problem here  
teayong: i will grudgingly accept that you pulled an all nighter but the fact that you didn’t even sleep properly afterwards…

hockey hyuck: but you never sleep the same hours for more than two days  
hockey hyuck: so you cannot hound any of us for our sleeping schedules

teayong: i am Superior and thus can harass any of you for anything i wish to

dingdong: is this not a dictatorship

teayong: it is and i fully accept that

princess yue: get out while you can shotaro and sungchan  
princess yue: ncity is about to fall thanks to its new dictatorship

markus: we unite the rest of leader line to take taeyong down

teayong: aHA you can try

jwisung: last week you literally cried when i showed you a picture of a cat sleeping in the sun 

teayong: it was so SOFT AND FLUFFY AND IT LOOKED SO W A R M

jenna: this should be easy enough

markus: we can literally just tickle him and he’ll give up

teayong: if you tickle me i’m going to lock you in my closet

dingdong: i really doubt that will ever happen  
dingdong: noodle arms looking ass bitch

teayong: at least they’ll get a clean closet  
teayong: you’ll get the rat infested janitor's closet on the fifth floor

dingdong: i’d like to see you try

teayong: i’m literally going to throttle you

dingdong: can you reach?

teayong: YOU’RE ONLY FOUR CENTIMETERS TALLER THAN ME STFU

markus: oh just out of curiosity  
markus: sungchan shotaro how tall are you guys?

sungshi: 185 cm?  
sungshi: _it’s been a while since i checked_

shota: I think I’m 178?

jaemming: jesus christ yall are tall  
jaemming: especially sungchan you’re literally a giant

jwisung: wAIT 185 is taller than johnny what the fuck

hockey hyuck: this is so terrifying

jenna: i… i don’t know if i ever want to stand next to sungchan  
jenna: i already feel short enough

sungshi: _how tall is Johnny?_

princess yue: he’s 184 isn’t he?

dingdong: it’s either 184 or 185 but either way… sungchan is probably taller than him

teayong: this is so horrifying  
teayong: there are people TALLER than johnny??  
teayong: that are asian??  
teayong: i wish i had your genes sungchan :/

shota: He’s too tall  
shota: we should take his height

dingdong: rt

princess yue: rt

hockey hyuck: rt

markus: rt

jwisung: wow hit tweet

shota: (´｡･v･｡｀) ???  
shota: what does rt mean?

jenna: oh it’s slang  
jenna: uhh how do i even explain this 

hockey hyuck: “essentially means in modern slang, “I agree”. It signals one person's commonality with another’s presented comment or statement.” -Urban Dictionary

shota: oh!  
shota: sorry, I don’t know what commonality means

teayong: it’s okay neither do i

hockey hyuck: “the state of sharing features or attributes.: "a commonality of interest ensures cooperation".”  
hockey hyuck: damn i’m actually learning stuff

princess yue: i’ve been alive for 22 years but i have never heard this word before so you’re totally fine shotaro

sungshi: _i don’t think i like english very much_

jwisung: who does  
jwisung: i would rather die than learn english as a second language  
jwisung: shotaro and sungchan you two have my utmost respect

teayong: wait am i stupid 

dingdong: yes

teayong: stfu  
teayong: we never formally introduced ourselves

princess yue: wait you’re right

teayong: i’m Taeyong Lee, i’m a college senior!

dingdong: i’m doyoung kim and i’m also a senior

princess yue: taeil moon and the same as the other two

jwisung: i’m jisung park and i’m a high school senior

markus: i’m mark lee  
markus: i’m a college sophomore

jenna: jeno lee! i’m a college freshman

jaemming: ^^ same age as jeno and i’m jaemin na

hockey hyuck: same age as them  
hockey hyuck: i’m donghyuck lee

sungshi: Its nice to meet you!  
sungshi: _wait that doesn’t look right_ _  
_sungshi: it’s?

teayong: yep! the second one  
teayong: it’s for ‘it is’

shota: English is complicated

markus: it really is

jenna: wait if you two already know china line then have you been able to visit them?

sungshi: _i have only met sicheng in person_

shota: Same here

jaemming: how did you guys meet sicheng initially?

sungshi: one of our family friends introduced us and he offered to help take care of us in the states

princess yue: ahh  
princess yue: that was nice of him

hockey hyuck: the longer i know him the more convinced i am that sicheng is part of the mafia  
hockey hyuck: like how the hell does he know so many damn people

jaemming: yeah me too lowkey  
jaemming: i have been moved to the sicheng mafia agenda

jwisung: lol  
jwisung: wouldn’t it be really scary if he was tho O_O

jenna: i wonder if all of china line is part of the mafia  
jenna: like chenle’s family has to have gotten rich somehow 😒

teayong: i doubt they’re apart of the mafia

dingdong: yeah they’re probably just really well networked  
dingdong: not everyone obtains their wealth illegally anyways

markus: well renjun and dejun did make that 6.2 million once tho

dingdong: okay well that i have no explanation for

jaemming: they said they robbed banks lol

**ring ding dong** **  
****[Today, 8:02]**

moon: wait who knows about you guys?  
moon: cause the children are saying some pretty sus stuff in the chat

**[dong is online]**

dong: it’s just you and jisung  
dong: jaemin might be a little suspicious of everything bc of that ryu hoyeon chat but i haven’t told him anything

moon: jisung knows??

dong: yeah  
dong: he was apparently a witness to some people harrassing chenle about it and chenle had to explain everything

moon: oh  
moon: what about sungchan and shotaro?

dong: yeah they do  
dong: i might explain everything another time  
dong: i have to go rn tho

moon: oh okay  
moon: good luck with whatever you’re doing 

dong: thanks

**[dong is offline]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't realize that it's been a week since i last updated until like a few minutes ago so i kinda panicked...  
> anyways my word count has stayed the same since my last update LOL this is bad. i've been stuck on the same chapter for a whole week jfc
> 
> also about shotaro and sungchan's personalities... i still have to immerse myself in content so if they're a little off compared to their irl selves sorry...
> 
> thank you for the barks last chapter too, none of my irls would say it back :(


	37. sunday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pinocchio: has chenle messaged you guys anything  
> pinocchio: mildly concerning lately?  
> pinocchio: well not exactly concerning but like he wanted to talk but didn’t end up doing so?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sichen??  
> Sicheng: si  
> Chenle: chen 
> 
> lay supremacists  
> Renjun: jun  
> Chenle: le
> 
> pavilion  
> Dejun: old man  
> Chenle: spicy child
> 
> Shrek 5 2k20 ver. 2  
> Kun: horst  
> Ten: shrek  
> Sicheng: pinocchio  
> Yukhei: prince charming  
> Xiaojun: dragon  
> Kunhang: donkey  
> Renjun: fairy godmother  
> Yangyang: puss in boots
> 
> kim chungha enthusiasts  
> Mark: roller coaster  
> Donghyuck: stay tonight
> 
> chem buddies  
> Johnny: johnny  
> Taeyong: taeyong

**sichen??** **  
** **[Today, 9:34]**

**[chen is online]**

chen: ge?   
chen: where are you?

**[si is online]**

si: i’m helping sungchan and shotaro settle a little more   
si: do you need something?

chen: no i was just wondering

si: you sure?   
si: i can go over if you want me to

chen: no it’s okay!

si: okay… 

chen: tell them i said hi!

si: will do   
si: don’t hesitate to come to me if you need anything

chen: yep!

**[si is offline]**

**lay supremacists** **  
** **[Today, 9:39]**

le: hey ge

**[jun is online]**

jun: hey lele   
jun: what’s up kiddo

le: what are you doing?

jun: talking to my nurse   
jun: is something wrong?   
jun: did you eat breakfast?

le: everything’s fine   
le: kunhang ge brought me food

jun: are you sure everything’s okay?   
jun: you know that you take priority over some stuffy doctor so if you want anything   
jun: and i mean ANYTHING   
jun: then just ask

le: i will   
le: but it’s really ok

jun: i will trust you then   
jun: tell me if you want anything okay?

le: okay i will!   
le: good luck!

jun: thank you baby

**[jun is offline]**

**pavillion** **  
** **[Today, 9:45]**

spicy child: what are you doing ge?

**[old man is online]**

old man: nothing much   
old man: just some really mundane stuff

spicy child: mundane stuff?

old man: discussing bills    
old man: really stupid, 0/10, wouldn’t recommend   
old man: why do you ask?

spicy child: idk   
spicy child: no reason in particular

old man: do you wanna talk?

spicy child: no i should probably let you do your stuff

old man: i don’t really want to tho…   
old man: you’re a billion times more fun

spicy child: nope!   
spicy child: you must take care of your responsibilities first

old man: thanks i now have motivation

spicy child: don’t fuck anything up

old man: i won’t   
old man: i don’t think i’ll be long so just wait for me okay?

spicy child: hmm   
spicy child: i guess i will 

old man: we can do whatever you want

spicy child: okok

**[old man is offline]**

**the children** **  
** **[Today, 9:54]**

lele: hey jisungie?   
lele: are you busy?

lele: oh you’re probably asleep again   
lele: sorry to bother you

**[lele is offline]**

**Shrek 5 2k20 ver. 2** **  
** **[Today, 11:06]**

**[pinocchio is online]**

pinocchio: has chenle messaged you guys anything   
pinocchio: mildly concerning lately?   
pinocchio: well not exactly concerning but like he wanted to talk but didn’t end up doing so?

**[shrek, prince charming, dragon, and two others online]**

fairy godmother: yeah

shrek: nope

donkey: nope

dragon: yeah

prince charming: no

shrek: is this favoritism i sense   
shrek: how rude

donkey: it seems like he only messaged people who are actively checking their messages 

pinocchio: yeah that’s what it looks like   
pinocchio: but like   
pinocchio: he never told me if something was bothering him so i was wondering if he told any of you guys?

dragon: i was with him for like ten minutes?   
dragon: he just seemed super tired but he tried his best to be how he was before

pinocchio: hmm   
pinocchio: renjun what did he tell you?

fairy godmother: nothing much   
fairy godmother: he asked what i was doing and just left me alone after i told him

prince charming: you think something’s wrong

shrek: probably

donkey: should i go try to talk to him?

pinocchio: you can try yeah   
pinocchio: but you know how he is    
pinocchio: you know how everyone here is

donkey: it’s worth a try   
donkey: where is he?

fairy godmother: i think he went to yangyang’s room

donkey: okok

pinocchio: good luck hang

**kim chungha enthusiasts** **  
** **[Today, 12:44]**

**[roller coaster is online]**

roller coaster: hey   
roller coaster: wyd

**[stay tonight is online]**

stay tonight: hmm   
stay tonight: depends on what you need   
stay tonight: like if you’re going to tell me to do my hw then i am too busy to entertain you

roller coaster: deja vu recording

stay tonight: in that case i am doing nothing   
stay tonight: which studio are you in?

roller coaster: i’m using the seniors’

stay tonight: okok   
stay tonight: i’ll be there in like five minutes tops

roller coaster: i am not going to ignore the comment about your hw tho   
roller coaster: if you think you’re gonna be able to leave without finishing whatever you have to then you’re sorely mistaken

stay tonight: aha   
stay tonight: i doubt you can stop me

roller coaster: do you underestimate me?

stay tonight: you will need to tie me to a chair in order to even get me to consider doing my work

roller coaster: well then ig i know what i’m doing once you finish recording   
roller coaster: i’m pretty sure that jeonghan stashes rope in here somewhere

stay tonight: kinky ;)

roller coaster: only if you want it to be   
roller coaster: i cannot say i’m entirely opposed to the idea tho

stay tonight: oh?   
stay tonight:  🤨🤨   
stay tonight: are you into that markly?

roller coaster: hmm   
roller coaster: i might be   
roller coaster: what if i was?

stay tonight: then i would be fine with it ;)))

roller coaster: what am i even talking about   
roller coaster: hmm   
roller coaster: maybe this is a conversation best saved for in person    
roller coaster: how far out are you?

stay tonight: i’m like two buildings away   
stay tonight: maybe make it there in a minute

roller coaster: great   
roller coaster: you’ve heard the demo right

stay tonight: ofc i have   
stay tonight: idk if i’m gonna suffer more doing hw or doing that high note

roller coaster: you can do it    
roller coaster: we would never put in a note that you couldn’t reach

stay tonight: cool cool   
stay tonight: i’m still gonna suffer

roller coaster: well at least i’ll be there too right?

stay tonight: yeah thank god for that

**chem buddies** **  
** **[Today, 17:12]**

**[taeyong is online]**

taeyong:  _ sent a video  _ _  
_ taeyong: make this for me

**[johnny is online]**

johnny: i don’t think we have space for a cardboard castle   
johnny: otherwise you know i would totally be on board

taeyong: make this for me

johnny: yong…   
johnny: as much as i would love to we have nowhere to put it

taeyong: what if we get a bunk bed in our room?   
taeyong: and if we go thru our bookshelf and free up some space there   
taeyong: i just really want to do shit i could never with my parents and this reminded me

johnny: hmm   
johnny: even if we get a bunk bed and get rid of our bookshelf we would still need to put the desks somewhere

taeyong: put them in the castle!!!

johnny: then we would have to make it really high and big   
johnny: hmmm   
johnny: maybe it could work?

taeyong: exactly!   
taeyong: god i really have the best ideas

johnny: we would have to get so much cardboard tho

taeyong: ehhh   
taeyong: i’m sure we’ll be fine   
taeyong: if we sell books and the bookshelf i’m sure it’ll be ok

johnny: alright    
johnny: guess we’re building a cardboard castle in our room

taeyong: letsgoooooo

johnny: you’re enjoying this a lot aren’t you

taeyong: well i always wanted one   
taeyong: ig i forgot about it until i saw that video

johnny: hmm   
johnny: if you always wanted one then ig i actually have no choice 

taeyong: hehe   
taeyong: you’re the best

johnny: no u

taeyong: no u

johnny: no u

taeyong: no u

johnny: no u

taeyong: this is never gonna end

johnny: it can end once you accept defeat

taeyong: n e v e r   
taeyong: how dare you even suggest that

johnny: it was worth a try

taeyong: anyways   
taeyong: should we get started today since it’s the weekend?

johnny: yep   
johnny: but like let’s eat dinner first 

taeyong: oh yeah that’s a good idea

johnny: i already heated up leftovers so come out whenever you’re ready

taeyong: okok   
taeyong: i’ll get everyone

johnny: do you know if yuta is coming back for dinner?

taeyong: idk i’ll ask

**twins** **  
** **[Today, 17:36]**

ty: yo are you eating at home

**[yt is online]**

yt: no   
yt: sorry   
yt: assisting sungchan and shotaro with learning english

ty: why do i not trust you with that   
ty: what have you taught them

yt: what do you think i’m gonna teach em   
yt: it’s just like basic conversational stuff

ty: uh huh…

yt: and a bunch of different ways to tell someone to go to hell

ty: there it is

yt: hey that’s a very important skill to have

ty: yeah yeah   
ty: when are you gonna come back

yt: maybe late tonight   
yt: midnight at the earliest

ty: okok see you then ig

yt: yepp   
yt: eat well

ty: okk

**chem buddies** **  
** **[Today, 17:40]**

taeyong: he says he isn’t

johnny: ok   
johnny: everything is set up so just come out when you’re ready

taeyong: ok   
taeyong: god i’m so fucking excited to do this

johnny: you and me both lol   
johnny: let’s hope that we don’t completely give up

taeyong: nah we’re too good to give up   
taeyong: aka YOU’RE too good to give up   
taeyong: i will take on a supervising role

johnny: sigh   
johnny: the things i do for you sometimes

taeyong: hehe   
taeyong:  (´･v･)   
taeyong: yoyo i just had a great idea cause the name of this chat is like ten years outdated

johnny: it was only six years but go on

**[taeyong has changed the chat name to chlorophyll me up daddy 😩😩💦💦]**

johnny: where the hell did you even get this idea

taeyong: donghyuck

johnny: why am i not surprised 

taeyong: do you like it??   
taeyong: it’s very fitting don’t you think

johnny: i suppose so    
johnny: oh god

taeyong: ik it’s not chem but still   
taeyong: i thought it fit the general idea   
taeyong: and we did meet in bio so it’s finee

johnny: we didn’t really talk tho

taeyong: but we had that one lab together

johnny: still didn’t talk much but i see your point

taeyong: are you sure you can see   
taeyong: i thought you were blind

johnny: bold words coming from someone whose cardboard castle I’M building

taeyong: hehe   
taeyong: sorry lmao

johnny: are you really 

taeyong: nope   
taeyong: but i know you’ll still do it for me

johnny: i really think this is emotional manipulation

taeyong: hehe   
taeyong: i’m asian    
taeyong: emotional manipulation and gaslighting come with the no raisining

johnny: i hate how that’s accurate   
johnny: but like let’s not hope to be as fucking traumatizing as our parents yeah?

taeyong: yeah that might be a good idea lmao

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have a lot i wanna address right now so bear with me
> 
> i actually really want a cardboard castle in my room too... where can i get a ijwtbl johnny to make me one upon request...
> 
> anyways chenle has begun to start his little angst episode hehe eventually he'll get into a little more detail
> 
> AS FOR MAJOR ANGST  
> I replied to a comment with this spoiler but I thought I should give all my readers fair access to this little bit of information  
> keep this snippet that i found online in mind as you continue reading  
> "Within six hours of coma onset those patients who show eye opening have almost a one in five chance of achieving a good recovery whereas those who do not have a one in 10 chance."  
> hehe  
> this is up to interpretation! 
> 
> my winwin bias is showing so much through this fic... with the taeil thing, he was at the center, now with the china line thing, he's again at the center, and not to mention that almost every member loves him and talks to him so much ooh boy i'm pretty sure if i counted all the messages that sicheng would amount to at least half of everything haha
> 
> also, if you noticed, luwoo has been removed as a ship from this fic because i cannot feel It from them, and thus cannot write them. i used to be able to but nowadays i find myself unable to do it so i had to remove them. i'm so sorry about that and if i have disappointed any of you guys
> 
> i hoped you guys liked this chapter as usual! have a wonderful day/night and until next time!


	38. monday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rumpelstiltskin: statistically yangyang has used lmao the most since we joined nct, with jisung second place and third place a tie between the rest of the freshmen
> 
> dragon: why do you know this
> 
> rumpelstiltskin: the things i have in my mind are many but all of them are extremely useless pieces of information

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part 1 of the unit fillers — wayv minus kunten and Yangyang and ft. renjun and chenle
> 
> Shrek 5 2k20  
> Kun: horst  
> Ten: shrek  
> Sicheng: pinocchio  
> Yukhei: prince charming  
> Xiaojun: dragon  
> Kunhang: donkey  
> Renjun: fairy godmother  
> Yangyang: puss in boots  
> Chenle: rumpelstiltskin

**Shrek 5 2k20** **  
** **[Today, 9:33]**

**[dragon is online]**

dragon:  _ sent an image _   
dragon: @donkey @puss in boots this could be us but yall are playing

**[pinocchio, prince charming, donkey, and two others are online]**

donkey: damn if you insist

pinocchio: ten might murder you in cold blood when he wakes up and sees that you have photographed his ‘very private’ cuddling session with kun

fairy godmother: i’m just surprised that kun’s body is in good enough shape to be able to cuddle someone who moves around as much as ten

rumpelstiltskin: they’re actually so cute

dragon: ikr

prince charming: need me a freak like that

rumpelstiltskin: frfr

fairy godmother: i can be your freak chenle ;)

rumpelstiltskin: no

fairy godmother: gasp   
fairy godmother: the audacity

prince charming: what about me renjunnie? 

fairy godmother: no

prince charming: “gasp”   
prince charming: “the audacity”

pinocchio: i’m also surprised that neither of them woke up while you were taking that picture

dragon: yeah me too

donkey: their camera sensors must’ve been destroyed or something LMAO

fairy godmother: i saw this one tiktok and it was like ‘people who use lmao instead of emojis are always horny’

donkey: and what about it

fairy godmother:  🤨🤨   
fairy godmother: you’re nasty 

prince charming: is that why xiaohenyang uses lmao so much

pinocchio: i feel like i’ve seen jisung using it a lot too but i have chosen to eject that thought because he is a Child

rumpelstiltskin: statistically yangyang has used lmao the most since we joined nct, with jisung second place and third place a tie between the rest of the freshmen

dragon: why do you know this

rumpelstiltskin: the things i have in my mind are many but all of them are extremely useless pieces of information

pinocchio: why is jisung second place??   
pinocchio: i know he’s almost 18 but that makes me uncomfy

donkey: i think the only person i see using emojis regularly is yuta but like   
donkey: i don’t think…   
donkey: i don’t think that’s correct

pinocchio: actually he doesn’t have much of a libido it kinda surprised me at first

fairy godmother: and how did you come across this information

pinocchio: i literally told you this already   
pinocchio: i’ve been spending basically all of the past week around him and we were talking a lot even before then

prince charming: sus

fairy godmother: i’m gonna call the simp police

pinocchio: i ain’t no fuckin simp stfu   
pinocchio: we’re just friends :))

rumpelstiltskin: that smiley face scares me so i shall not join in on the teasing

pinocchio: good choice :)))   
pinocchio: now as for yukhei and renjun :))))))))))))))

fairy godmother: bless me father for i have sinned it has been over 10 years since my last confession and here are my sins   
fairy godmother: i called sicheng a simp

pinocchio: thank god for making a good confession   
pinocchio: for penance i would like you to die   
pinocchio: and now let us end with the act of contrition

fairy godmother:  O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins because I dread the loss of Heaven and the pains of hell, But most of all because they have offended Thee, my God, Who art all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to confess my sins, to do penance, and to amend my life. Amen.

pinocchio: thank you

fairy godmother: thank you father

dragon: why do you guys know the roman catholic confession rites

pinocchio: i literally went to a catholic school

fairy godmother: me too   
fairy godmother: how did you even know what they were

dragon: i had to go undercover once and learn em 

prince charming: that’s wack dude

dragon: yeah

donkey: dejun big brain    
donkey: dejun sexy brain   
donkey: wow even after all these years he still remembers useless shit like this

dragon: hell yea    
dragon: now would you like to solidify our place as wayv’s best relationship

donkey: you bet your ass i do

fairy godmother: disgusting

rumpelstiltskin: i know

prince charming: need me a freak like that x2

dragon: god ‘x2’   
dragon: yangyang_x2 you are missed

fairy godmother: yangyang rn: ‘quit telling people i’m dead!’

donkey: sometimes i can still hear his voice TT_TT

dragon: can we please get an f in chat for our fallen comrade liu yangyang

donkey: f

pinocchio: f

prince charming: f

fairy godmother: f

rumpelstiltskin: F   
rumpelstiltskin: yall aren’t even capitalizing the f    
rumpelstiltskin: disrespectful   
rumpelstiltskin: fake gamers

dragon: you’re the only one i can trust chenle

donkey: i would say rude but i didn’t capitalize the f so i deserve to suffer

dragon: damn straight   
dragon: how dare you disrespect the memory of my dead boyfriend like that

donkey: i apologize greatly

prince charming: your relationship baffles me

pinocchio: i think it baffles everyone   
pinocchio: i wonder everyday how you guys met each other and were like ‘yep this is the one i like’

dragon: i also wonder that

donkey: i also wonder that 

dragon: oh

donkey: oh

fairy godmother: maybe that was one of the reason lol

dragon: okay but to be fair that barely ever happens

donkey: the chances of us being that in sync are even lower than renjun getting a boyfriend

pinocchio: WOAH

rumpelstiltskin: ate and left no crumbs

prince charming: hello 911? i’d like to report a MURDER

fairy godmother: i’m gonna kill you wong kunhang 

donkey: but you won’t cause that’ll make yangyang sad

fairy godmother: oh fuck off   
fairy godmother: i hope you choke on a bone and die

pinocchio: that was so brutal

donkey: renjun i hope you know i’m kidding and i love you please don’t hate me

fairy godmother: too late   
fairy godmother: dejun when yangyang wakes up tell him that i strangled 1/2 of his boyfriends with his own intestines

dragon: yeah let’s not do that?

rumpelstiltskin: if you do do that then tell me when and where i would like to record

fairy godmother: okok i gotchu

pinocchio: i agree with dejun    
pinocchio: let’s not strangle kunhang with his digestive system

prince charming: that would be kinda hard to clean up

donkey: yeah no kidding

fairy godmother: i will have you know HUANG GUANHENG    
fairy godmother: that i am more than capable of pulling a boyfriend but for obvious reasons i will not be taking any number of them

dragon: i think you’re just being paranoid!!   
dragon: after all i have the same job but with not one, but two boyfriends!    
dragon: not until recently have either of them gotten injured!   
dragon: but i still respect your decision

fairy godmother: see the difference is that your boyfriends know how to defend themselves and what they got themselves into    
fairy godmother: if i just look for a relationship with any random stranger in the us then they are at a much higher risk of injury than yang and kunhang are

pinocchio: yeah i see your reasoning   
pinocchio: but hey it’s not like you need a relationship to be happy

fairy godmother: EXACTLY 

rumpelstiltskin: i just wanna know what it feels like to have a crush on someone!   
rumpelstiltskin: i honestly wonder if i’m aro or something    
rumpelstiltskin: i have been around so many nice and sweet girls and boys and have never felt romantically attracted to any of them    
rumpelstiltskin: i wanna know that feeling!!!

prince charming: i know xiaohenyang make it seem fun but having feelings is very much not so

pinocchio: yes i would not recommend having feelings for anyone

fairy godmother: 0/10 ign rating

dragon: hey don’t rob him of this valuable life experience   
dragon: he deserves to live his life as he wants

fairy godmother: i’m just telling him the ratings   
fairy godmother: yall know what it feels like

donkey: yeah it takes a lot of work    
donkey: i understand wanting to know the feeling but it’s not really good most of the time

rumpelstiltskin: damn   
rumpelstiltskin: guess i ain’t feeling it any time soon

pinocchio: usually you don’t have much of a choice tho

rumpelstiltskin: yeah no wonder xiaohenyang ended up together   
rumpelstiltskin: i feel like you would never have chosen to be together if you could have   
rumpelstiltskin: given how much you all hated each other at the start

dragon: i will neither confirm nor deny that statement 

donkey: babe??

dragon: i’m just kidding   
dragon: maybe

donkey: this is so sick

pinocchio: you do this to yourself i feel no pity for you whatsoever

prince charming: me too

fairy godmother: i’m just confused as to how you guys stopped bullying each other long enough to ask each other out

rumpelstiltskin: ikr

dragon: it’s a mystery to us too

donkey: mystery my ass    
donkey: you guys are hearing it from a firsthand witness, dejun was the one to make the first move on both me and yangyang

pinocchio: w h a t

fairy godmother: no way that’s fucking real

prince charming: i call bs

rumpelstiltskin: unless you have video evidence then i refuse to believe that dejun of all people was the one to make the first move

dragon: i don’t know if i should be offended or something

donkey: he was an actual beast back then

dragon: am i not anymore

donkey: no have you seen yourself

dragon: this is actually emotional abuse   
dragon: toxic relationship check

donkey: you know you love me

dragon: yeah this is emotional abuse   
dragon: i’m being guilt tripped into staying in a toxic relationship

fairy godmother: oh shut up

pinocchio: we all know that you would rather die than break up with either of your boyfriends

dragon: yeah i’m a little selfish like that

donkey: thank god you are bc idk what i’d do without you

dragon: hang 🥺🥺🥺

rumpelstiltskin: ew get your relationship out of here

prince charming: we get it   
prince charming: we’re single

dragon: then don’t be tf

donkey: hoes mad

fairy godmother: you callin me a hoe, scrub?

donkey: yeah   
donkey: you got a problem?

fairy godmother: i’m going to rip your head off your shoulders 

pinocchio: let’s not do that

dragon: oh shit kunten woke up i gotta skrrt before they murder me

rumpelstiltskin: go gay boy go

dragon: fuck you

rumpelstiltskin: no thanks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a lot of things happened quickly so i figured i would add in a little breather for all of the units. regretfully i couldn't add sungchan or shotaro to any, so they will have a significant lack of lines in the next three chapters. 
> 
> yesterday was the five month anniversary of this fic. pretty cool. 
> 
> hrngh the newest NCT World 2.0 episode has absolutely wrecked me 
> 
> anyways i've finally started making the word count on this go up so ig i'll be updating a little more. hope you guys liked it.


	39. monday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> taesteless: i already talked to him about it a little and he said he would probably focus more on wayv activities
> 
> reMARKable: so it seems like yuta and jungwoo guilt tripped him into joining lol
> 
> jungwoosh: well when you say it like that it makes me sound bad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part 2 of the unit fillers — nct 127
> 
> 721 tcn  
> Taeil: ponytaeil  
> Johnny: johnnycake  
> Taeyong: taesteless  
> Yuta: nekomata  
> Doyoung: dogyoung  
> Jaehyun: jaewalking  
> Sicheng: let’s winwin  
> Jungwoo: jungwoosh  
> Mark: reMARKable  
> Donghyuck: haewire

**721 tcn** **  
** **[Today, 21:24]**

**[taesteless is online]**

taesteless: if i could please have everyone’s attention   
taesteless: and if yuta would like to make an appearance in the gc for the first time in decades

**[ponytaeil, johnnycake, nekomata, and five others are online]**

nekomata: it hasn’t even been that long you’re just overreacting

jaewalking: what’s up

taesteless: as per nekomata’s request and what seems like jungwoo’s too

**[taesteless (admin) has added Dong Si Cheng to the chat!]**

jungwoosh: let’s fucking goooo

dogyoung: oh my god   
dogyoung: 10 people

taesteless: i already talked to him about it a little and he said he would probably focus more on wayv activities

reMARKable: so it seems like yuta and jungwoo guilt tripped him into joining lol

jungwoosh: well when you say it like that it makes me sound bad

haewire: does sicheng himself know that he has been added to the group chat

nekomata: nah his phone died    
nekomata: i can tell him tho

johnnycake: yall have literally been together for the entire week

ponytaeil: sus

dogyoung: wait does he want a special stage name?

haewire: i feel like i’m one of the only people who actually has a stage name

jaewalking: yeah i don’t think mine counts lmao

dogyoung: neither does mine

taesteless: you ARE the only person with a stage name donghyuck

haewire: wow i’m special   
haewire: imagine using your real name for your stage name lmao

reMARKable: not a single person calls you that tho

haewire: hush   
haewire: i will get people to call me haechan one day on god

jungwoosh: if you wanted people to call you haechan you should’ve introduced yourself to sungchan and shotaro as that

haewire: my mind isn’t big enough for that

jungwoosh: sounds like a you problem then i don’t know what to tell you dude

johnnycake: well there are like nine new people that could possible take a stage name so you might not be alone for long

nekomata: oh god we really got nine new people in a month

taesteless: the more the merrier!   
taesteless: i personally like that we’re expanding our boundaries

ponytaeil: altho you’ll be the one to suffer when we’re all together    
ponytaeil: mr general leader

taesteless: i close my eyes, i do not see

jaewalking: you’ll be fine

dogyoung: i mean you have kun to help you   
dogyoung: probably johnny too

johnnycake: exactly   
johnnycake: and we’ll see if the children will listen to mark

reMARKable: they won’t

haewire: we won’t

reMARKable: see?   
reMARKable: and it’s not like i’ll get any help from jeno cause he’s too fucking whipped for jaemin to ever deny him anything

jungwoosh: maybe sicheng will help you

taesteless: perhaps   
taesteless: i am ignoring it because it’ll probably be a while until we all meet up again anyways

ponytaeil: i am offended that you think that i will not help you if the time ever came when i needed to

jaewalking: because you wouldn’t

nekomata: you would just watch it all unfold like the uninterested old god you are

dogyoung: you might even join whatever the kids do

ponytaeil: fair point   
ponytaeil: but i still resent you for it

dogyoung: thank god i don’t care huh

ponytaeil: 

dogyoung: oh god i’m kidding i’m sorry   
dogyoung: please don’t use your godly powers to end me

ponytaeil: i will add that to the list of requests   
ponytaeil: please wait 5-7 business days to receive a response

dogyoung: oh no

taesteless: you did that to yourself

johnnycake: kids please pay your respects to our former friend doyoung

reMARKable: f

jungwoosh: f

haewire: F

jaewalking: f

nekomata: it feels really weird to actually see that jaehyun is on the younger half of 127

ponytaeil: cause we’ve been including him in our grade’s activities since like grade 8

haewire: if you guys are including younger people as part of your grade then i would also like to apply

taesteless: no bc you’re an ACTUAL child   
taesteless: freshman looking

haewire: damn 

jungwoosh: i would ask what about me but i already know why lol

nekomata: what do you think the reason is

jungwoosh: isn’t it cause i joined too late?   
jungwoosh: not like it even matters cause the underclassmen have somehow managed to claim me aka yangyang

dogyoung: i don’t think any of us know the answer to that LOL   
dogyoung: cause somehow we’ve gotten sicheng 

jungwoosh: damn   
jungwoosh: fake as hell   
jungwoosh: jk sicheng is considerably more mature than the rest of us

johnnycake: his self control is insane 

**[Dong Si Cheng is online]**

Dong Si Cheng: ?

taesteless: welcome to the group chat of nct 127!

Dong Si Cheng: woah ten members?   
Dong Si Cheng: how are you going to manage with that?

taesteless: it’ll be fine…   
taesteless: hopefully…

Dong Si Cheng: well i don’t know if i’ll be able to but i can help with anything you need?

ponytaeil: you should be focusing on your own stuff rn lol

Dong Si Cheng: eh

haewire: now that you’re officially in a unit you have to choose a stage name   
haewire: i mean you can use your real name but that would be really fuckin boring

Dong Si Cheng: hmm   
Dong Si Cheng: i’m guessing you’re donghyuck?

reMARKable: how could you tell???

Dong Si Cheng: gut feeling?   
Dong Si Cheng: what’s your stage name, donghyuck?

haewire: haechan   
haewire: means full sun

Dong Si Cheng: very fitting

haewire: why thank you   
haewire: my dad picked it out for me

johnnycake: is that what i am now

haewire: haven’t you always been my dad or has my life been a lie??

johnnycake: okay hyuck whatever you say

Dong Si Cheng: hmm   
Dong Si Cheng: i don’t know if i should get a stage name

taesteless: it might help if you had a nickname beforehand?   
taesteless: anything you like?

Dong Si Cheng: there is one…   
Dong Si Cheng: i don’t know if i should use it tho

nekomata: just use whatever name you’re comfy with!

Dong Si Cheng: hmm… 

**[Dong Si Cheng has changed Dong Si Cheng’s name to let’s winwin]**

let’s winwin: most of my friends call me winwin   
let’s winwin: it’s better than letting my real name get out haha

jungwoosh: it’s cute!

dogyoung: yes agreed

jaewalking: do you win at everything you do

let’s winwin: hm   
let’s winwin: i’d say more than 3/4s of the time

nekomata: wow you’re so cracked

let’s winwin: thanks

haewire: you understand what cracked is?   
haewire: i didn’t know you gamed

let’s winwin: chenle gamed a lot on servers that spoke mainly english   
let’s winwin: picked up some words

reMARKable: do you game

let’s winwin: no   
let’s winwin: i can step in for chenle if he has to do something else but i don’t actively play anything

taesteless: sorry to interrupt your conversation but we need to figure out how to work this next album and units

haewire: nah it’s totally okay

let’s winwin: the reason why i was so iffy on joining 127 was bc i didn’t know if i would have time to actually participate in this unit’s activities

dogyoung: yeah that would be kind of hard to juggle

taesteless: i won’t force you to participate in anything you already know you can’t do so don’t worry about that   
taesteless: so ig you’ll just be an unofficial member of 127 until you have enough time to participate?

let’s winwin: yeah that might be the best course of action

taesteless: okay great!   
taesteless: sorry you guys can go back to whatever you were talking about    
taesteless: i just needed to update our sns

johnnycake: you need help?

taesteless: nahh   
taesteless: it’s pretty easy   
taesteless: chenle and renjun are joining dream and not wayv right?

let’s winwin: yep

taesteless: okok i’ll probably text you guys later about positions

let’s winwin: alright

haewire: n e ways   
haewire: wait what games does chenle play

let’s winwin: pubg fortnite csgo league and valorant

jungwoosh: he any good?

let’s winwin: yeah   
let’s winwin: according to what i’ve seen anyway

haewire: i should get him to add me on valorant   
haewire: what if we just all had a giant video game night   
haewire: not even just video games    
haewire: we could all invade the senior apartment and watch a movie or something   
haewire: once china line is freed anyways

reMARKable: that sounds really fun tho

jungwoosh: i would be down   
jungwoosh: prepare to get your ass dragged in super smash bros donghyuck

haewire: i’d like to see you try

let’s winwin: 

jaewalking: hate to bring the mood down but once china line is freed they’re going back to china 

haewire: oh

jungwoosh: if they have to leave then i might have to step in

dogyoung: what are you gonna do 

jungwoosh: step in

ponytaeil: damn so threatening

nekomata: if jungwoo steps in then ig china line is staying

jungwoosh: oh yeahhh

johnnycake: what if we went to the hospital to visit?   
johnnycake: or can we not?

let’s winwin: i think renjun and ten are the only ones who can get visitors   
let’s winwin: i’d have to double check tho

nekomata: that would be really fun tho    
nekomata: we used to do that back in the very beginning

ponytaeil: god    
ponytaeil: the old days before we moved in together and got sick of each other

dogyoung: that was the only thing i liked about high school   
dogyoung: game night   
dogyoung: god those were the times

taesteless: wait even if china line leaves you guys will still be part of nct?   
taesteless: we can like facetime or have a discord server or something to talk to each other

let’s winwin: i don’t know?   
let’s winwin: i feel like it would be so much harder for you guys to try to have a unit across the world

ponytaeil: i think it’s worth it

haewire: me too!

reMARKable: ^

jungwoosh: ^^

nekomata: ^^^

dogyoung: ^^^^

jaewalking: ^^^^^

johnnycake: ^^^^^^

taesteless: guess it’s unanimous   
taesteless: unless you guys want to leave, which we won’t hold against you

ponytaeil: but if you guys choose to be apart of nct even after you leave then we would definitely love it

let’s winwin:    
let’s winwin: i’d have to discuss with the others

nekomata: don’t feel too pressured to stay tho

jungwoosh: exactly   
jungwoosh: only do what you guys want to

haewire: we’ll be here in case yall actually do wanna stay tho

dogyoung: what they said   
dogyoung: we’ll support your decision no matter what

jaewalking: and we’ll adapt to whatever you guys need

johnnycake: nct is a giant family and you guys are apart of that now   
johnnycake: whatever you need, we’ll provide 

let’s winwin: thank you   
let’s winwin: i really mean it 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe  
> this chapter wasn't that funny i almost don't like it but i like the usernames tho they're kinda cool ig 
> 
> anyways i hope you guys liked this chapter! dream's filler will be up by saturday so yeah look forward to that! have a wonderful day/night!


	40. tuesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nana: your parents would probably be kinda pissed if you failed a class in your senior year  
> nana: and you know exactly who they’re gonna blame
> 
> jwi: you know whose problem that sounds like?
> 
> nana: you’re so lucky that you’re a fetus or else i would murder you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part 3 out of 3 of the unit fillers — dream
> 
> nct nightmare  
> Mark: markly  
> Renjun: injun  
> Jeno: nofun  
> Donghyuck: fullsun  
> Jaemin: nana  
> Chenle: dolphin  
> Jisung: jwi

**nct nightmare** **  
** **[Today, 11:07]**

**[fullsun is online]**

fullsun: i’m just realizing how dead this gc is

**[markly, nofun, nana, and one other are online]**

jwi: well we have the other dreamies gc now

nana: i lowkey wanna add them to this gc tho

nofun: i mean ain’t nobody stopping us

markly: what about the other one tho

nana: this one is THE dream gc    
nana: but like i don’t have admin rights so it doesn’t matter what i think lmao

nofun: i can add em

fullsun: whipped

nofun: bruh it’s not a bad idea

**[nofun (admin) has added Huang Ren Jun and Zhong Cheng Le to the chat!]** **  
** **[Huang Ren Jun and Zhong Chen Le are online]**

Huang Ren Jun: is the official dream chat

markly: yep   
markly: we can still use the other chat you made but this one has all the important information pinned

Huang Ren Jun: nah it’s okay lol

nana: nickname   
nana: pick or we pick for you

Zhong Chen Le: uh   
Zhong Chen Le: i have no ideas so go ahead

**[nana has changed Zhong Chen Le’s name to dolphin]**

dolphin: not bad not bad

Huang Ren Jun: hey chief got anything for me

nana: do you have anything for me to go off of?

Huang Ren Jun: no

nana: hmm   
nana: i’ll see what i can do

**[nana has changed Huang Ren Jun’s name to injun]**

nana: a little birdie told me that that was your nickname

injun: thank god i eat birds for fun

dolphin: hello???

injun: you just exposed yourself

dolphin: oh fuck my life

jwi: breaking news, within five minutes of renjun and chenle being in this gc, a murder has been committed

nofun: and what do you think is the cause of that, mr park

jwi: i think it was thanks to the leak of confidential information. renjun seems to have not taken to that very happily

fullsun: do you think that renjun will suffer any consequences?

jwi: no bc anyone who tries to punish him will die as well

nofun: very well said, mr park   
nofun: more at six

injun: wtf

markly: don’t you have school jisung

jwi: school is unnecessary

nana: it is but you should still    
nana: idk   
nana: pay attention???   
nana: your parents would probably be kinda pissed if you failed a class in your senior year   
nana: and you know exactly who they’re gonna blame

jwi: you know whose problem that sounds like?

nana: you’re so lucky that you’re a fetus or else i would murder you

nofun: not even cause murder is illegal   
nofun: just cause he’s a child LMAO

nana: yes

fullsun: quite a wise decision i must say

nana: why thank you

dolphin: hey don’t bully jisung

jwi: yeah jaemin don’t bully jisung

injun: just pay attention in class and you won’t get bullied

jwi: why would i pay attention in class when i can talk to you guys

markly: ik that’s supposed to be sweet but you really should focus

jwi: ah   
jwi: it’s almost lunch anyways it doesn’t matter

nana: what class are you in right now

jwi:    
jwi: ap lit

nofun: bitch pay attention

jwi: no

dolphin: come on   
dolphin: when are you ever gonna need that class later in life

jwi: exactly

fullsun: who cares   
fullsun: you still need to pass

jwi: lol!!!   
jwi: the bell just rang! 

nana: you are infuriating

jwi: but you love me

nana: false i only love jeno

nofun: babe 🥺

fullsun: hey mark you should remove them   
fullsun: we don’t accept relationships in this gc

**[nofun (admin) has muted fullsun for one minute]**

nofun: suffer donghyuck

nana: that’s my baby

markly: oh no   
markly: that wasn’t a good idejasfldj

**[markly (admin) has removed admin rights from nofun]** **  
** **[markly (admin) has unmuted fullsun]**

nofun: WHAT

markly: I’M SORRY   
markly: DONGHYUCK IS WITH ME AND HE JUST SNATCHED MY PHONE

jwi: snatched your phone like he snatched your wig

fullsun: jeno lee i HATE YOU

nana: donghyuck has bf privilege this isn’t fair

fullsun: you also had bf privilege you just didn’t use it correctly

markly: wait me and hyuck aren’t dating :/

jwi: no

dolphin: no

nofun: no

nana: no

injun: no

fullsun: no

markly: et tu donghyuck???

fullsun: yes

markly: damn.   
markly: i guess i was the only one who didn’t know

injun: single gang wya 😔

jwi: here 😔

dolphin: as if you don’t actively choose to stay single   
dolphin: but here

injun: ik that i pull but damn…   
injun: finding an actual bf is so hard

nana: me!!! i volunteer!!!

fullsun: bitch

nana: no u

injun: anyone other volunteers???   
injun: i’m just kidding

nana: :((((((   
nana: gonna make me cry

injun: I’M JOKING   
injun: i would never do that to you

jwi: gay

nana: shut your toddler looking ass the fuck up   
nana: as if you aren’t

jwi: i’m not!

nofun: we all know that’s a lie sorry jisung

jwi: i’m not gay damn   
jwi: i am, in fact, a bisexual

dolphin: y-you’re bisexual??? you have two se xes?? tha’t s so poggers 

markly: that’s from a tiktok right

dolphin: yeah LMAO

fullsun: wow old man mark knows tiktoks??

markly: this is actual bullying

nana: deserve   
nana: give my bf admin again

markly: i would!   
markly: but donghyuck is threatening to hit me if i do!

injun: abuse??

markly: i know!!   
markly: but no one ever listens to me!!!

nana: if you weren’t a coward you would just do whatever you wanted but NOO   
nana: you’re whipped

markly: hey what the hell 

fullsun: yeah what the hell   
fullsun: no one can bully mark except for me   
fullsun: i hope you’re ready to be bitch slapped into the next dimension 

nofun: not on my watch

injun: i’m pretty sure that if you tried to fight jaemin YOU would be the one being bitch slapped into the next dimension hyuck

fullsun: a hoe’s gotta try idk what to tell you

markly: if you get bitch slapped into the next dimension just make sure you bring lunch money with you

fullsun: as you command your highness

markly: bye sweetie have a nice day at school!

dolphin: god they grow up so fast   
dolphin: just yesterday he was learning how to walk and today he’s getting beaten into new dimensions of being

markly: i know

injun: in this scenario are chenle and mark donghyuck’s parents?

fullsun: i don’t know how comfy i feel with a senior not only stealing my man but being my parent

jwi: why is your man your parent   
jwi: we ain’t in alabama

injun: he has a point

nofun: so we’re just ignoring the fact that donghyuck threatened to slap my boyfriend into the next dimension

markly: i am

dolphin: yes

injun: yes

jwi: yes

fullsun: yes

nofun: stfu haechan lee

fullsun: 🥺 wow someone actually used my stage name

nofun: donghyuck** lee

fullsun: i will say this again, i HATE YOU jeno lee   
fullsun: i will never regret taking admin away from you

nana: mark is gonna give it back to him you know that right

fullsun: not if i can help it   
fullsun: actually nvm he just gave me puppy eyes and i could never take his admin away from him

markly: i’m so glad that you decided to spare me

fullsun: i would say don’t get used to it but yeah   
fullsun: you’re definitely gonna get used to it

nana: whipped

fullsun: as if you aren’t??

nana: i never said i wasn’t   
nana: mwah jeno i love you

nofun: omg i love you too

dolphin: on god i’m gonna throw up

jwi: i know    
jwi: can yall get your healthy relationship out of here?

injun: i truly hate it here

nofun: wait chenle do you not pull?   
nofun: i feel like you would

dolphin: i only pull with my money   
dolphin: and even if someone did like me for who i am i’ve never felt romantic feelings for anyone

jwi: that’s rough   
jwi: actually that’s not that bad   
jwi: i hate it everytime i catch myself liking someone so you’re lucky tbh

dolphin: ig   
dolphin: i wish i could have like the experience of knowing what it feels like tho

jwi: hm

markly: it makes you really self conscious of everything you do around the subject of your affection

nana: you act like a complete idiot

nofun: everything they do makes your heart go boomboomboomboomboomboom

dolphin: ew   
dolphin: i don’t think i wanna feel it then

fullsun: it’s not all that bad all the time tho   
fullsun: especially if it’s reciprocated

jwi: i like your fancy words magic man

fullsun: how are you a senior if you don’t even know what reciprocated means

jwi: are you being ableist right now???

fullsun: bitch you know what i mean   
fullsun: i know i’ve used that word around you before so stfu

jwi: it had more letters than i can count so it is a fancy word

nofun: how high can you count

jwi: 4

dolphin: omg same!

jwi: twinsies!

nana: i’m pretty sure i taught you how to count past 4

injun: to be fair i can’t count past 10 so

jwi: exactly!   
jwi: counting is hard!

fullsun: damn   
fullsun: i can count the amount of brain cells mark has and that’s all i need

nofun: how many brain cells does he have

fullsun: enough to see my beauty 

markly: yeah well he isn’t wrong

fullsun: damn right

nofun: whipped

nana: whipped

injun: whipped

nana: jinx you owe me a kiss on the lips

nofun: jinx you owe me a kiss on the lips

injun: jinx you owe me a coke   
injun: OH   
injun: that was not the direction i expected this to go 

nana: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

nofun: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

injun: no thanks

markly: how did you guys use the EXACT same wording as the vine

dolphin: you guys are freaky   
dolphin: and not in that stupid kinky way   
dolphin: i mean you guys are fucking weird

nana: that’s so rude chenle how could you do this to us

nofun: have you forgotten who raised you

dolphin: help?   
dolphin: i barely known you guys for a month??

nofun: they forget their roots so easily

nana: i can’t believe how easily he forgot us

dolphin: i don’t like the implications of what you’re saying 🤨

nana: if only he knew

nofun: i wish we could tell him

dolphin: help???

injun: stop scaring the baby you two

nana: oh alright

nofun: only until he remembers who actually raised him

dolphin: that was sicheng and dejun and not you two?????

nofun: oh… if only he knew…

dolphin: HELP???????

fullsun: no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the last of the unit fillers before we get back to our regularly scheduled angst and bullshit
> 
> the next chapter begins one major event (altho it doesn't last very long, it is very important) and one other, not as important but still sets one ship into motion
> 
> i hope you guys liked this chapter and the next, and i hope you have a wonderful day/night


	41. wednesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> friends 😄  
> [Today, 7:39]
> 
> [yuta is online]
> 
> yuta: _sent an image_  
>  yuta: GUYS I FEAR FOR MY LIFE 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yucheng  
> Yuta: yuta  
> Sicheng: sicheng 
> 
> friends 😄  
> Taeil: taeil  
> Yuta: yuta  
> Kun: kun  
> Doyoung: dongyoung
> 
> foreign swaggers  
> Johnny: chicago  
> Mark: canada  
> Jaehyun: connecticut

**yucheng** **  
****[Today, 3:51]**

**[sicheng is online]**

sicheng: if you’re awake then i’m going to throttle you  
sicheng: i know you keep your phone on silent at night so i think it’s fine to text you right now  
sicheng: um

sicheng: GOD nevermind actually  
sicheng: when you wake up can you tell me when you’re free today?  
sicheng: i need to talk to you about some things  
sicheng: so yeah  
sicheng: get back to me please 

**friends 😄** **  
****[Today, 7:39]**

**[yuta is online]**

yuta: _sent an image_ _  
_yuta: GUYS I FEAR FOR MY LIFE

**[taeil and dongyoung are online]**

dongyoung: calm down  
dongyoung: he probably just wants to tell you that you suck  
dongyoung: i'm jk

taeil: hmM  
taeil: there are a lot of things he could want

yuta: yeah i know jesus 

taeil: your best bet is just going to him and figuring it out for yourself

yuta: 😭😭  
yuta: what if he really is gonna tell me that i suck

dongyoung: he's not gonna do that yuta  
dongyoung: idk a whole lot about your relationship but considering that you two have basically begun to parent sungchan and shotaro i doubt that he has anything against you

taeil: exactly 

yuta: hrnghfffffffffffffff

**[kun is online]**

yuta: oh my GOD MY SUFFERING HAS SUMMONED KUN FROM THE DEAD

kun: i ain't dead yet hoe  
kun: i just saw you freaking out over sicheng and wanted to help alleviate some stress bc he was just talking to me about it 

taeil: forget yuta’s stupid pining how are you?  
taeil: we haven't been able to talk to you in weeks

yuta: hey!

kun: i’m doing as well as a half dead man can do 

dongyoung: is that good?

kun: eh  
kun: i'm not dead yet so i’d say it's a good thing

taeil: what low criteria you have

kun: the fact that i’m even awake is a miracle in itself so i won't look a gift horse in the mouth

yuta: i really hope you'll feel better dude we all missed you sm 

kun: thanks yuta  
kun: anyways that sicheng thing?  
kun: you don't need to worry so much about it  
kun: he's just giving you some very overdue information

yuta: like whether he's a part of the mafia or not?

dongyoung: why is that where your mind goes first

yuta: i can't think of anything else he would need to tell me 

kun: sure let's just say that he's gonna tell you whether he's a part of the mafia or not 

dongyoung: will i ever get to know???

yuta: sorry it's the perks of having your best friend be a member of china line 

dongyoung: wait what about kun and ten???

yuta: they're practically fuckin dead

kun: hey i’m not about to kick the bucket just yet and neither is ten

dongyoung: wait if you ten and renjun are awake does that mean that yangyang is still dead

kun: i will neither confirm nor deny that statement

yuta: that’s a yes isn’t it

kun: i am legally obligated to say nothing

dongyoung: we’ve got im boys

taeil: how’s recovery going?

kun: eh  
kun: it’s not horrible  
kun: i am reminded once again of why i hate fucking rehab

yuta: are we allowed to come visit

kun: i mean if you guys visited renjun then you’ll be able to visit me too

yuta: consent is key!

kun: ik you would’ve come regardless of my answer

yuta: you right

kun: consent is key my ass

yuta: hey i could’ve not asked at all!!

taeil: sigh

dongyoung: sigh

yuta: does this chat have an unspoken agreement to bully me at all times  
yuta: cause if so i would like to block you all

dongyoung: bye bitch

yuta: i hate you

dongyoung: i hate you even more

**[yuta (admin) has removed dongyoung from the chat]**

kun: now now play nice

yuta: fine  
yuta: i’m only taking pity on you because you’re injured

kun: i will take whatever i can get

**[yuta (admin) has added Doyoung Kim to the chat!]**

Doyoung Kim: i hate you

yuta: i hate you even more

**[Doyoung Kim has changed Doyoung Kim’s name to dongyoung]**

dongyoung: well have you replied to sicheng yet?

yuta: oh shit

dongyoung: you’re so fucking stupid

yuta: yes i’m aware

taeil: stop bullying each other or i will tell taeyong

yuta: yikes

dongyoung: bring it on i can take his skinny ass any dayy any time

yuta: no you can’t

kun: he’s right you can’t

dongyoung: hey come on  
dongyoung: have my back

taeil: we’re just trying to protect you doyoung  
taeil: your pride wouldn’t be able to handle having your ass handed to you by taeyong right now

dongyoung: what the heck  
dongyoung: this is bullying  
dongyoung: i was just reminding him to reply to the love of his life

yuta: askdjflasdjf sdllovekofmyqlife?)}$:!:.&#{)])?:$

taeil: yes

yuta: that’s gay!

kun: which you are  
kun: your point?

yuta:  
yuta: forget it  
yuta: i’ll reply to him now  
yuta: thanks taeil and kun  
yuta: doyoung choke

dongyoung: absolutely your highness

yuta: disgusting

**yucheng** **  
****[Today, 7:52]**

yuta: hey!  
yuta: i have a class at 930 so i’ll probably be free at 12?  
yuta: i can take you and the kids out to eat if yall want

**[sicheng is online]**

sicheng: i’ll ask them

sicheng: they said okay  
sicheng: so it’s your pick since none of us are as familiar with this area as you are

yuta: you sure?

sicheng: yeah  
sicheng: altho i still need to talk to you  
sicheng: it’s best if it’s in private

yuta: oh  
yuta: i can go back to the hotel with you guys?  
yuta: or if you’re okay with leaving them during the day you can come back to my place?  
yuta: since everyone is gonna be out all day

sicheng: do you mind coming back to my dorm?  
sicheng: sorry if this is a pain

yuta: no no you’re totally fine  
yuta: do you want me to pick you guys up from the hotel?

sicheng: would that be too much trouble?

yuta: of course not  
yuta: i’ll swing by as soon as my class is done 😄

sicheng: i’m really sorry about this

yuta: what do you have to apologize for?  
yuta: if you have something you wanna talk about then i’m more than willing to help you out  
yuta: that’s what friends are for right?

sicheng: right

**foreign swaggers** **  
****[Today, 10:02]**

**[canada is online]**

canada: hey guys i have an announcement

**[chicago and connecticut are online]**

chicago: you finally asked donghyuck out?

connecticut: you and donghyuck are dating??

canada: no

chicago: :/

canada: if that ever happened you would be hearing it from donghyuck not from me

connecticut: facts  
connecticut: what happened?

canada: i finally got a licensed therapist!

chicago: what??  
chicago: dude that’s so good!

connecticut: i’m happy for you ^^

canada: yeah  
canada: apparently wendy caught wind of the fact that i was struggling a little bit and talked to my parents who talked to me and hooked me up with a therapist friend of theirs :)

chicago: oh god  
chicago: i’m actually proud of you

connecticut: see what happens when you ask for help?

canada: it wasn’t even me who asked  
canada: besides i was going to ask  
canada: but only once it started hindering with my work

chicago: as if it wasn’t before?

canada: but like  
canada: actually messing with me

connecticut: as if it wasn’t before x2

canada: :((

connecticut: we kid  
connecticut: we are super happy for you though  
connecticut: actually 

chicago: god is this what it feels like to be a dad and to watch your child succeed at something

canada: yeah thanks dad

chicago: oh yeah this is it  
chicago: i’m never letting go of this feeling

canada: haha  
canada: i’m glad i could make you happy

connecticut: have you started seeing them already or nah

canada: my first appointment is this thursday

chicago: need a ride?

canada: nah  
canada: wendy’s taking me cause she felt bad about putting me on blast 

connecticut: as she should but i’m also glad she did that because you are finally seeing professionals  
connecticut: god i’m so happy for you

canada: yay i made two people happy today and it’s only 10!

chicago: you always make people happy :(

canada: haha  
canada: lol  
canada: okay

connecticut: i’m glad you told us tho  
connecticut: wow we’re trusted johnny

chicago: i feel tears going down my face

canada: of course you guys are trusted :(  
canada: why would you not be 

connecticut: cause we’re old and no one trusts old people with their business

canada: you guys are the brothers i always wanted so ofc i trust you even if you’re old

chicago: we’re not even that old jaehyun

connecticut: we’re on the older side

chicago: we’re only in our early 20s???

connecticut: for someone who’s barely 20 that’s old

canada: i don’t mean to be rude but jaehyun’s right  
canada: you both are kinda

chicago: g a s p

canada: haha  
canada: i’m joking

connecticut: i’m not  
connecticut: you’re an old man johnny

chicago: if i’m old then doyoung is too

connecticut: your point?  
connecticut: i like it when my men age like fine wine  
connecticut: and doyoung is domaine leroy musigny grand cru

canada: wth

connecticut: i googled that by the way  
connecticut: apparently the highest ranked wine in the world?

chicago: bruh  
chicago: what am i then

connecticut: cheap vodka

chicago: you suck

connecticut: hell yeah i do

canada: i don’t know what you meant by that but i’m pretty sure i didn’t think the right thing

connecticut: no no you definitely did think the right thing

chicago: nasty

connecticut: just like cheap vodka

chicago: how did we get from mark’s therapy to calling me cheap vodka

canada: don’t know but i won’t complain

connecticut: i’m just gonna keep calling you cheap vodka then

chicago: you are the worst

connecticut: hey you shouldn’t say that to someone who has gotten at least 75% of your groceries for the past month

chicago: i’m gonna say it anyway

canada: wait why are you getting his groceries 

connecticut: oh right mark doesn’t know about all that

chicago: do you want to know?

canada: only if you wanna tell me

chicago: idc

canada: idc

connecticut: you two are insufferable  
connecticut: just tell him for future reference johnny

chicago: okok  
chicago: so you know that i like taeyong right?

canada: no????  
canada: what the fuck???????

connecticut: well now you do

canada: wow just gonna leave me with no other information 

chicago: exactly  
chicago: anyways due to some sort of internalized sense of duty i feel the need to be able to let us live comfortably (aka be rich) before i ask him out  
chicago: so jaehyun insisted that he help me save money and stuff so he’s been helping me out with groceries so that i can save and so no one else has to pay for them

canada: aren’t you broke too jaehyun?

connecticut: well i mean i’m also helping out doyoung so i can do whatever i need to  
connecticut: it’s not like i’m BROKE broke  
connecticut: i still have a few thousand in savings and my rich grandfather loves me remember

canada: ohhhh  
canada: yeah i remember now

chicago: so yeah that’s about it

canada: that’s  
canada: pretty nice of you guys actually  
canada: can i help?

chicago: you can help by getting better and seeing your therapist regularly and letting them help you  
chicago: we just want you to be your best self

connecticut: hell yeah  
connecticut: go demarcus go demarcus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah... time for this bandaid to be ripped off... yay?
> 
> anyways hooray for mark's therapy at least. he deserves good things. you all deserve good things too. thanks for reading


	42. wednesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuta is stressed, to say the least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sichen??  
> Sicheng: si  
> Chenle: chen

Yuta is stressed, to say the least. He worries about what Sicheng needs to tell him all morning while he’s getting ready and even during class, even though he should probably be paying attention. Overdue information? There’s only one thing that Yuta can think of that that could be, but he really doesn’t actually believe that Sicheng is part of the mafia. It could explain a lot of things, yeah, but it could also be a really big coincidence. 

But when Yuta swings by the hotel that Sungchan and Shotaro are staying at while living arrangements are made, he tries his best to smile and seem normal, for their sake. He would hate to ruin the time they have together by stressing about something that probably isn’t even that important. Yeah, there was no way that Sicheng was about to confess that he was a part of the Chinese mafia or something. Who would even do that?

Sicheng slides into Yuta’s passenger seat as if it had been created for him, and the younger two fill up the back. Yuta waits until everyone has buckled their seatbelts before beginning to move. 

There’s one place that Yuta frequents for lunch, Lighthouse Tofu. According to Jaehyun, the food there is authentic Korean (or at least tastes authentic), so Yuta chose it to help Sungchan and Shotaro adapt a little bit more to the new country. 

“ _ How have you been? _ ” Yuta asks in choppy Korean, and Shotaro sends him a thumbs-up and a smile as a way of letting Yuta know he didn’t say anything horribly wrong. 

“ _ We’ve been good. Finally found an apartment. _ ” Sungchan makes sure to properly enunciate every syllable, which Yuta greatly appreciates. He knows Japanese and high school level Spanish, but languages have never really been his forte. 

“ _ That’s good! Is it big? _ ” Yuta doesn’t know how to ask anything else, and he doesn’t think that it’s appropriate to ask how much rent is just yet. Judging by prices usually, it’s probably pretty expensive. 

“It’s two bed, one bath. Pretty cozy.” Sicheng replies, and Yuta hums, checking behind him so that he can merge onto the highway. Lighthouse Tofu isn’t far away, about a little more than ten minutes if he doesn’t speed, but it’s currently noon and the roads are relatively empty, for Northern Virginia, so of course he’ll push the limits a little bit. 

“That’s not bad. How much?” 

“A little less than $2000 per month.”

“That’s—”

“Expensive, I know, but considering that it’s right next to Tysons, it has to be expensive.” Yuta grimaces. All of the seniors had needed to relocate to over 10 minutes away from campus because they couldn’t afford the rates of the places closer to their school, where they pay around $1900 per month plus utilities. Now these kids are getting an apartment so close to Tysons that they need to pay an entire extra $100 than three bedrooms for just two. Insane. Yuta hates the concept of money. 

“How are they gonna pay for that?” Yuta asks in disbelief, still internally cringing at the price. 

“Um… Inheritance. Their grandparents died recently and left them a lot of money.” Yuta pretends to not hear the hesitance in Sicheng’s voice that probably meant he had come up with that on the spot. It’s not his place to pry, after all, and if Sungchan and Shotaro aren’t saying anything, then they probably don’t want to talk about it. 

“I see. The world of the rich.” Yuta chuckles to himself, and Sicheng bites his lip. So Yuta drops it. 

“What about you? How’ve you been? Feels like forever since I’ve seen you.” 

“You know we just saw each other yesterday, right?” Sicheng huffs, but still replies. “I’m okay. A little stressed, but who isn’t?”

Yuta stops himself from patting Sicheng’s thigh in an attempt to comfort him. Usually, Yuta does that whenever he thinks someone needs it, but something tells him that he shouldn’t do it to Sicheng. “Well, everything will get better. Just world fallacy. You’re a pretty good person, so I’m sure good things will come later on.” 

“What’s a ‘just world fallacy’?” Sungchan asks slowly, always eager to learn new phrases in English. His voice is a little shaky, as if he’s still not sure in his English skills. Yuta himself thinks that Sungchan isn’t horrible in English, he just lacks the confidence. 

“It basically means that good things will happen to good people, and bad things will happen to bad people.” Yuta explains, and both Shotaro and Sungchan’s mouths make an ‘o’. 

“So, because Sicheng hyung is a good person, good things will happen to him?” Shotaro asks, to which Yuta nods. 

“Yep. Good things will come, Sicheng. You just gotta hold on a little bit.” 

It’s now 1:30, and Sicheng hates it here. Currently, Yuta is staring expectantly at him in his dorm. Minghao is out with Jun at the moment, so it’s just the two of them, and Sicheng hates it. He was recommended by Kun (read: ordered by Kun) to tell Yuta just a little bit about them in an attempt to get Yuta to distance himself. Sicheng thinks that the intention is nice, but he  _ really, really  _ doesn’t want to be the one telling Yuta that he’s actually a part of the mafia and that everytime they talk, Yuta is just putting himself in more danger. 

Sicheng was going to text Yuta last night, but he chickened out under the excuse that either of their phones could be bugged. Saying it face-to-face was definitely worse than digitally though. He regrets every decision of the previous night.

“So,” Yuta starts, and a chill goes through Sicheng’s spine. “what’s going on?” 

Sicheng sucks in an enormous breath and prays that he can get the words out without dying immediately after. It takes him another few seconds to actually talk though. 

“Um, I have something to tell you?” Sicheng offers weakly, and kicks himself right after.  _ This is not the way I wanted this to go.  _

“Go on.” Yuta’s eyes are soft and welcoming, ready to take on whatever Sicheng needs to get off his chest. Sicheng wonders if he deserves it. 

“I—” Sicheng panics and halts in his tracks. Yuta doesn’t say anything, but a more concerned look envelopes his face. It’s silent for another minute as Sicheng gathers his thoughts. He doesn’t even know why this is so hard. He has ordered for entire families to be killed, but he’s struggling to tell Yuta that he’s actually a shitty person who has nothing but bad things headed for him? What a fucking joke. 

Biting the inside of his cheek one final time, Sicheng starts. 

“I understand if you’ll think differently of me after this, I’m totally fine if you cut off all communication with me, actually. I just…”  _ don’t deserve to have you _ , Sicheng thinks as he looks at Yuta’s twinkling eyes, swirling with worry and empathy.  _ I don’t deserve to have you, no matter how much I want you.  _

That’s not a hole Sicheng wants to fall into. 

“I’m…” Man, fuck it. 

“I’m actually part of the mafia.” 

And there it is, finally out in the open. 

Yuta’s eyes widen, and Sicheng can’t tell if it’s out of surprise or out of contempt. 

“So, yeah. I totally understand if you want to leave and never talk to me again. I’m fine with whatever you want, I just needed to tell you. I— You just put yourself in more danger everytime you talk to me, and no one wants you to get hurt, especially me. And, I just… Yeah.” Sicheng chooses to look at the floor instead of looking at Yuta’s reaction. 

“Wow.” Sicheng hears Yuta breath.

“Yeah, it’s definitely a ‘wow’ thing.” Sicheng tries to make himself laugh, but it doesn’t work. It’s far too awkward for that. 

“So, this entire time, while everyone has been speculating about you being a part of the mafia, they were correct?” Sicheng nods, still not daring to look Yuta in the eye. 

“I really don’t want you to get involved or hurt, but you always managed to be with me, even with how dangerous it was. So I figured it was best to tell you exactly why I was so against you being this close. You could’ve gotten injured, you could’ve gotten killed, and I just sit back and let it all happen, and I finally decided to tell you, even if you hate me or never want to talk to me again—” Sicheng can tell he’s rambling, and that it’s bad, but he can’t stop it. He’s never cared for anyone outside of his ‘group’ this much, never cared so much for someone that was a regular law-abiding citizen, and it’s definitely fucking him over. 

“Hey, Sicheng,” Yuta gets out of his chair and kneels on the ground so Sicheng has no other choice but to finally look at him. “It’s okay.”

“What do you mean ‘it’s okay’? I’ve put you in danger, I’m part of the mafia for God’s sake. There is nothing about this that is ‘okay’. How are you saying that?” Alarms sound in Sicheng’s mind, but he forces himself to keep his voice down. It would suck if someone were to walk by and eavesdrop. 

“Did you join because you like killing people and making their lives hell?” Sicheng shakes his head. He had joined because it was an income that a lower middle class family could not pass up. But still, the killing should be a dealbreaker, but to Sicheng, it isn’t. That’s what makes Sicheng so worried about this. Did Yuta not have the same thoughts?

“We all do things we don’t necessarily want to in order to be able to get things that we want. It’s just how the world works. You can count on it. You’ll never be 100% for everything you do, but you do it because it’ll lead you to something that you need. Whether it’s taking a stupid biochem class so you can get into a tech major or joining the Chinese mafia, we can’t always be all for everything. You mentioned being poor, didn’t you? Did you not join so you could support your family?” Sicheng nods slowly. What the fuck is going on?

“If that’s the case, then who am I to judge? I understand your worries, but, Sicheng, if I flew halfway around the world for you, then I won’t drop you over you being part of the mafia. It’s whatever. I’m a college senior, I’ve seen weirder shit. Like Soonyoung Kwon. Not even just a single thing he’s done, just him as a person. You being a part of the mafia? Doesn’t faze me.” Sicheng almost laughs, but Yuta catches the smile that blooms for a split second. 

“Don’t worry about it, okay? You’re still my friend, mafia or not. If you’re my friend, then I don’t really mind putting myself in danger for your sake.” Sicheng doesn’t know if his worries will ever truly go away, but this has to be a start, right?

**sichen??** **  
** **[Today, 1:42]**

**[chen is online]**

chen: yangyang.

**[chen is offline]**

  
Sicheng leaves immediately. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp  
> it wasn't too bad  
> you guys know that yuta's a chill dude and probably couldn't care less if sicheng was part of the mafia
> 
> anyways!  
> I'm like actually past chapter 50 on my draft so  
> i have so many spoilers that I could give but I won't say anything other than that i have an angst idea that deals with something that was mentioned in like the first 3 chapters 🤩
> 
> i'll post another chapter tomorrow for like actual christmas but it's been a while since i updated! so i wanted to give you guys a double update for the holidays!


	43. wednesday/thursday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jwisung: can i  
> jwisung: see
> 
> jungle: that seems awfully sketchy
> 
> jwisung: well i was gonna ask if i could commit arson but taeyong would get sad if i did

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> greasy  
> Doyoung: hera  
> Jaehyun: zeus
> 
> 11:11  
> Taeil: princess yue  
> Johnny: johnny appleseed  
> Taeyong: teayong  
> Yuta: yuTA  
> Kun: kung-fu  
> Doyoung: dingdong  
> Ten: number  
> Jaehyun: uknow  
> Sicheng: soupcheng  
> Jungwoo: jungle  
> Yukhei: yukas  
> Mark: markus  
> Xiaojun: of july  
> Kunhang: kun man  
> Renjun: renning  
> Jeno: jenna  
> Donghyuck: hockey hyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemming  
> Yangyang: sheepsheep  
> Shotaro: shota  
> Sungchan: sungshi  
> Chenle: angel le  
> Jisung: jwisung 
> 
> yucheng  
> Yuta: yuta  
> Sicheng: sicheng 
> 
> markcest  
> Mark’s old account: minhyung  
> Mark: mark
> 
> Shrek 5 2k20 (admins: KN, WW)  
> Kun: horst  
> Ten: shrek  
> Sicheng: pinocchio  
> Yukhei: prince charming  
> Xiaojun: dragon  
> Kunhang: donkey  
> Renjun: fairy godmother  
> Yangyang: puss in boots  
> Chenle: rumpelstiltskin

**greasy** **  
** **[Today, 22:21]**

**[zeus is online]**

zeus: hey doyoung :(

**[hera is online]**

hera: oh no   
hera: who do i have to beat up

zeus: no one   
zeus: i just missed you

hera: idiot

zeus: just kidding   
zeus: well i did miss you but that wasn’t the reason i texted   
zeus: well it sorta was but also not

hera: lol   
hera: okay so what’s up?

zeus: i got called in for an extra shift tomorrow   
zeus: so i can’t make it to dinner

hera: oh no   
hera: should i go visit you at work?

zeus: no no   
zeus: iron age is too expensive

hera: i’ll get everyone   
hera: make an event out of it

zeus: you don’t have to :(

hera: if you can’t come to my place then i’ll go to yours hehe

zeus: oh :(((   
zeus: you’re the best

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 22:27]**

dingdong: who wants to go to iron age tomorrow 

**[princess yue, johnny appleseed, teayong, and nine others are online]**

jwisung: me me

teayong: i’ll go why not

princess yue: me

jenna: me too

jaemming: me three

hockey hyuck: me four

markus: me five

jungle: i’m working :/   
jungle: but ig i’ll see you guys there

johnny appleseed: me six

yuTA: me seven

shota: what’s iron age?

dingdong: it’s a korean bbq place   
dingdong: pretty good

sungshi:  _ i’ll go!! _

shota: me too

sungshi:  _ we don't have a ride though _

yuTA: i can go pick you guys up

shot: thank you hyung ^^

yuTA: yeah ofc!

princess yue: i assume that china line will not be coming

yuTA: apparently something happened so they’re all busy again

teayong: how do you know?

yuTA: had lunch with sicheng shotaro and sungchan and had to drive him to the hospital 

sungshi:  _ oh yeah thank you for lunch hyung ^^ _

shota: it was really good!   
shota: your Korean is getting good too

yuTA: aha   
yuTA: language god   
yuTA: ten could never

dingdong: pretty sure that ten still knows more languages than you tho

yuTA: hush let me have my moment

markus: is there a reason why we’re going to iron age tho

dingdong: cause jaehyun is a loser who has a job

uknow: why am i being attacked   
uknow: tryna get that bread   
uknow: and don’t you also have a job?

dingdong: well banh mi dc doesn’t call me in whenever they want to so i’m not a loser

johnny appleseed: by your logic that means that taeyong and i are losers

hockey hyuck: we all know that apple treats its employees like shit anyway   
hockey hyuck: so taeyong is automatically a loser for working for them

teayong: harassment   
teayong: i have admin rights again so i can be the dictator i’ve always wanted to be   
teayong: i even have a fucking castle

princess yue: it’s a fire hazard

teayong: it’s a castle stfu

jwisung: you have a fire hazard castle??

teayong: yes

jwisung: can i   
jwisung: see

jungle: that seems awfully sketchy

jwisung: well i was gonna ask if i could commit arson but taeyong would get sad if i did

teayong: hell yeah i would   
teayong:  _ sent an image _ _  
_ teayong: i coerced johnny into making it for me

johnny appleseed: sigh

uknow: i doubt you actually had to coerce him    
uknow: he would do anything you told him to no hesitation

johnny appleseed: hey!

teayong: hm   
teayong: you right

jaemming: i, too, would like to commit arson

teayong: leave my child alone   
teayong: if you set it on fire then i set you on fire

jenna: yeah let’s not become our kind in like the 1600s

markus: oop

dingdong: jfc jeno

jenna: accurate comparison   
jenna: can’t tell me i’m wrong

yuTA: well you’re not

jenna: exactly   
jenna: so don’t burn down taeyong’s cardboard castle   
jenna: we have evolved past the need of carpets

teayong: yeah don’t burn it down    
teayong: i worked hard on it

johnny appleseed: YOU worked hard on it??   
johnny appleseed: hmmm   
johnny appleseed: plagiarism

teayong: i designed it!

johnny appleseed: hmmmmmmmmm

teayong: hey!

johnny appleseed: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

teayong: what the heck :(

johnny appleseed: i’m kidding don’t be sad

teayong: :)

hockey hyuck: gay

markus: definitely

princess yue: aren’t we all tho

jwisung: nope i’m a het

jaemming: no the fuck you’re not

jwisung: are you invalidating me and my sexuality?

jaemming: yes

jwisung: okay fair   
jwisung: i hate hets

hockey hyuck: me too smh

jenna: didn’t you think mark was a het at one point

markus: was that why you hated me so much in eighth grade???

hockey hyuck: we don’t talk about it

jenna: lol

teayong: hyuck… he literally cuffed his jeans and you thought he was straight??

hockey hyuck: we don’t talk about it

**yucheng** **  
** **[Today, 9:58]**

**[yuta is online]**

yuta: so   
yuta: how’s he doing?

**[sicheng is online]**

sicheng: he’s still a bit hazy   
sicheng: his memory is intact thank god   
sicheng: refuses to let kunhang and dejun out of his sight so he’s normal mentally at least

yuta: that’s great    
yuta: like actually

sicheng: yeah   
sicheng: but idk   
sicheng: i doubt that recovery is gonna be easy   
sicheng: especially with the 1 in 6 good recovery rate

yuta: wait what?   
yuta: i wasn’t aware of that??

sicheng: something about him showing any eye movement at first?   
sicheng: i was still in shock when the doctors told me about it so it’s a little fuzzy

yuta: oh god

sicheng: yeah   
sicheng: none of the kids know about this but kun and ten do so we’ve been stressed 

yuta: i’m sorry    
yuta: is there anything i could do to help?

sicheng: no no   
sicheng: unless you can guarantee that he recovers completely there’s nothing you can do

yuta: hmmM   
yuta: i think you’re underestimating me

sicheng: oh?   
sicheng: what are you gonna do?

yuta: manifest   
yuta: i’m on witchtok so much to the point that i know more about witches than i do my major

sicheng: i see

yuta: that i’m icy

sicheng: i hope your manifesting works

yuta: it will   
yuta: trust me   
yuta: if not then i can send you anime recommendations and my crunchyroll account to help relieve stress

sicheng: hmm   
sicheng: i doubt i’ll have time to watch any animes anytime soon but i’ll definitely keep that in mind

yuta: okok   
yuta: take it easy yeah?

sicheng: i’ll try my best   
sicheng: good luck with whatever classes you have :)

yuta: thanks 😄

**markcest** **  
** **[Today, 13:22]**

**[mark is online]**

mark: hmm   
mark: this is stressful   
mark: lol    
mark: i’m pretty sure that going to a therapist is supposed to make things less stressful   
mark: whoopsies   
mark: why did i come here…   
mark: oh!   
mark: ooh boy   
mark: this man recommended that i see a psychiatrist too!   
mark: too expensive   
mark: not worth it   
mark: i already know what frickin mental illness i have anyway   
mark: maybe medicine could be beneficial…?   
mark: nah i’m not worth the extra cost   
mark: i don’t even have a fucking job   
mark: i should contribute to society   
mark: even if i fucking hate capitalism i’m pretty sure donghyuck wouldn’t want to be anywhere near a broke bitch like me   
mark: he doesn’t deserve to be anywhere near broke bitches so sad ✋😔   
mark: hmm   
mark: where should i even work tf   
mark: i guess aldi’s?   
mark: high starting rate   
mark: gotta get that bread, get that head,    
mark: probably won’t leave cause i’m lazy

mark: i think i messed up   
mark: i told donghyuck when we were recording that i really do like him but i just wanna wait   
mark: and then i accidentally fucking kissed him bc he hit that high note first try   
mark: we laughed it off but still   
mark: i would hate to get into a relationship with him when even i don’t know what i want or what i’m doing   
mark: that wouldn’t be fair to him   
mark: anything i do would be unfair for him   
mark: still think that it’s a fever dream that he likes me back because i’m a piece of shit but okok   
mark: therapist man told me to not be mean to myself at least once until i see him again   
mark: oh boy   
mark: two weeks i think   
mark: idk i forgot already   
mark: can’t remember shit haha   
mark: this is so bad    
mark: but at least i’m gonna get better right?

**Shrek 5 2k20** **  
** **[Today, 15:19]**

**[pinocchio is online]**

pinocchio: just got out   
pinocchio: they project recovery date at at least 2 months   
pinocchio: still aren’t sure about how well recovery will go

**[horst, shrek, prince charming, and four others are online]**

fairy godmother: what if he never is in a condition to travel…   
fairy godmother: i don’t wanna think about it but

dragon: hey!   
dragon: stay positive!

fairy godmother: it’s positive in a way…

donkey: at least 2 months?

pinocchio: yeah   
pinocchio: but you know the 1/6 rate   
pinocchio: i don’t know if we’re exactly that lucky

prince charming: what 1/6 rate?

pinocchio: recovery rate

prince charming: ohh

horst: us as a whole are not very lucky   
horst: but yangyang is like a walking stick of luck   
horst: you’ve seen the shit he does without so much as a scratch

shrek: that’s true   
shrek: and considering that the rest of us are recovering well   
shrek: we have to believe that he’ll be okay

rumpelstiltskin: but you guys were so much further from the actual thing than he was

prince charming: yangyang’s invincible   
prince charming: besides it’s not as if he has a 0% recovery chance

pinocchio: still   
pinocchio: i’m gonna do a little more research on it   
pinocchio: i wanna know as much as i can

horst: you should rest tho   
horst: when was the last time you had over two hours of sleep

pinocchio: yesterday

shrek: lies

pinocchio: well   
pinocchio: if you add it all up..?

fairy godmother: that doesn’t count

pinocchio: it does if you’re not a coward   
pinocchio: i’ll be fine don’t worry

dragon: you say that but you’re gonna keep working even after you pass out

pinocchio: hush   
pinocchio: i am closing my eyes and no longer looking at your messages because you will only BULLY and HARASS me   
pinocchio: i hate you

horst: we all know that’s a lie

pinocchio: nope   
pinocchio: my eyes are closed i will no longer acknowledge any of you   
pinocchio: now, if you will excuse me, i have more important matters to attend to

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys got so scared for yangyang i'm so sorry i didn't mean for that to happen T_T i'm sure i've made him suffer enough he has literally lost over 25 chapters worth of 'screentime' and for someone who is so close to my bias in wayv i literally suffer with him with every chapter that passes
> 
> a step forward for markhyuck but also a hundred steps backwards because mark has no impulse control :)) this is okay
> 
> as i am feeling in the holiday spirit i will update at least once more before the new year so this is not the last chapter of the year. happy holidays!


	44. thursday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jaemin: can i get a kith uwu
> 
> jeno: please never say uwu again or i WILL divorce you
> 
> jaemin: this is homophobic
> 
> renjun: you think a kiss from me is worth $20?  
> renjun: disgustingly low

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one brain cell gang  
> Renjun: renjun  
> Jeno: jeno  
> Jaemin: jaemin

**New Group Conversation** **  
****[Today, 15:28]**

**[De Jun Xiao (admin) has added Kun Qian, Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul, Yuk Hei Wong, and three others to the chat!]**

De Jun Xiao: we have to get sicheng a break

Kun Qian: i second that  
Kun Qian: but i also don’t want you guys to overwork yourselves for that end

Kun Hang Wong: we won’t  
Kun Hang Wong: it’s not like the workload is extremely different

Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul: besides i’m almost fully recovered with the exception of some stuff so i can help too

Ren Jun Huang: me too  
Ren Jun Huang: i won’t be able to leave bed but like  
Ren Jun Huang: my mind is completely fine to work

Yuk Hei Wong: almost all the paperwork is done anyway  
Yuk Hei Wong: it’s just new stuff for yangyang nowadays

Chen Le Zhong: i can ask yuta to steal him for a little bit?

Chittaphon Leeichaiyapornkul: i don’t think that sicheng would let that happen

Kun Qian: speaking of yuta  
Kun Qian: he knows about us now

De Jun Xiao: wait what????

Kun Hang Wong: why??

Kun Qian: sicheng was worried bc yuta was getting really close so i told him to tell yuta the reason he shouldn't do that  
Kun Qian: apparently he's fine with it tho go figure 

Yuk Hei Wong: when did this happen

Kun Qian: right before yangyang woke up  
Kun Qian: like when he went out for lunch with yuta sungchan and shotaro  
Kun Qian: actually he doesn't know about all of us but he definitely knows about sicheng 

Ren Jun Huang: can we trust him?

Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul: yuta isn’t a blab  
Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul: he’ll keep it a secret  
Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul: none of them would ever leak info as important as this

De Jun Xiao: i hope you’re right  
De Jun Xiao: but yeah lele  
De Jun Xiao: you should ask yuta to get him away

Chen Le Zhong: ok  
Chen Le Zhong: how long should he be in custody

Kun Hang Wong: at least a day  
Kun Hang Wong: preferably a little more

Yuk Hei Wong: will sicheng really let that happen to him  
Yuk Hei Wong: i doubt that he’ll let anyone take him from his work 

Kun Qian: i can just force him to go  
Kun Qian: he’ll respect a proper order from me

Ren Jun Huang: would that really help him destress  
Ren Jun Huang: being forced to take a break?

De Jun Xiao: what else can we do  
De Jun Xiao: he’s been the one working for the past how many weeks  
De Jun Xiao: even me hang and yukhei haven’t been helping most of the time  
De Jun Xiao: we have to do everything we can

Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul: and we have me and renjun back up and running  
Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul: there’s no better time than now to have sicheng tap out

Chen Le Zhong: yuta said that he’s busy today but he can probably steal sicheng from the rest of the week and on sunday

Kun Hang Wong: okay that’s good

De Jun Xiao: i really hope it actually works as a break and he isn’t just stressing the entire time

Yuk Hei Wong: half the time i wonder if he even knows how to relax

Ren Jun Huang: i mean he’s been working for his entire life i understand that he could have some trouble when he’s not

Chen Le Zhong: wait does sicheng like yuta?  
Chen Le Zhong: in that way?

Kun Qian: beats me

Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul: considering how strongly he reacted when you guys called him a simp  
Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul: it could be entirely possible

Ren Jun Huang: as a fellow member of the ‘we have sworn off men forever’ club i forbid you from trying to play matchmaker chenle

Chen Le Zhong: i wasn’t going to!  
Chen Le Zhong: i was just curious

Ren Jun Huang: a likely story

Chen Le Zhong: !!!  
Chen Le Zhong: how rude

Kun Hang Wong: but does yuta like him?

Yuk Hei Wong: oh definitely  
Yuk Hei Wong: willing to bet $20 on that

De Jun Xiao: i think we all know that yuta has at least a little crush on him so that bet doesn’t count

Yuk Hei Wong: sigh

Ren Jun Huang: ik  
Ren Jun Huang: if it were not for sicheng’s basically fucking vow of chastity i would have shoved them in a room together until either asks the other out

Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul: vow of chastity-

Chen Le Zhong: is he wrong tho

Kun Qian: no but that’s quite the odd wording

Kun Hang Wong: still accurate

Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul: don’t harass him

**one brain cell gang** **  
****[Today, 21:58]**

**[jeno and jaemin are online]**

jaemin: hey hey hey

jeno: you up for some kahoot?  
jeno: most of us went to the senior apartment for like game night and we know none of china line checks the gc

**[renjun is online]**

renjun: i might be able to play for a little bit but i might have to leave pretty quick  
renjun: shit happened

jaemin: oh no :(  
jaemin: is everything okay?

renjun: yeah  
renjun: it’s a little frantic but actually everything’s better than usual

jeno: can we know what happened?

renjun: i’ll maybe tell you guys later  
renjun: wouldn’t want to take away from your time with the others

jeno: oh not to worry we’ve had our entire lives with them

jaemin: ofc only if you want to tell us!

renjun: hm  
renjun: yeah maybe later  
renjun: just sent me the code and i’ll join  
renjun: i’ll get some of the others to get in too

jeno: you sure?  
jeno: if you’re busy you don’t have to force yourself :(

renjun: no no it’s really okay  
renjun: what is the kahoot on tho

jeno: we don't know

jaemin: the one we’re doing first is donghyuck and mark’s if that helps…

renjun: oh jesus christ  
renjun: this is gonna be the worst fucking kahoot i’ve ever played

jeno: i actually saw donghyuck making a question for it  
jeno: ‘if peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, where’s the peck of pickled peppers that peter piper picked?’  
jeno: i think i had a stroke writing that

renjun: what the actual fuck

jaemin: actually i’m rethinking doing this kahoot

jeno: let’s hope that mark made it make some sense

jaemin: we all know that mark is too whipped to make any changes to what donghyuck made

renjun: good god  
renjun: never catch me simping for someone like mark does LMAO  
renjun: and like you two sigh

jeno: i ain’t whipped this is slander  
jeno: do not spread lies on my name

jaemin: you’re not whipped? :(

jeno: well  
jeno: uhm

jaemin: (๑´╹‸╹`๑)

jeno: no please don’t be sad

renjun: exactly you’re fucking whipped

jeno: to be fair if you’re not whipped for jaemin then you’re just not human

renjun: fair

jaemin: ehe are you whipped for me too renjun

renjun: what jeno said

jeno: exactly  
jeno: i’m correct jaemin

jaemin: i just have that effect on people damn  
jaemin: too good

renjun: too good

jeno: sigh  
jeno: too good

jaemin: hell yeah  
jaemin: i’m so good

renjun: so  
renjun: you gonna send the code?

jaemin: shit yeah i forgot  
jaemin: 63****

renjun: alright cool  
renjun: just so you know i’m a god at kahoot so

jeno: no matter how good you are you could never be able to answer whatever bullshit donghyuck has cooked up

renjun: you underestimate me  
renjun: i already know the answer to the question you saw

jaemin: what is it?

renjun: fool  
renjun: why would i tell you

jaemin: (๑´╹‸╹`๑)

renjun: you can’t use the exact same kaomoji as before and expect me to still be whipped

jaemin: okay fair

jeno: what about me? :(

renjun: i will never give away my secrets  
renjun: i am going to win idgaf

jeno: there’s not even a prize wth  
jeno: you wouldn’t help us out at all :/

renjun: never  
renjun: it is still a competition and i never lose 

jaemin: wow  
jaemin: so sad

jeno: it’s just one question out of 20 

renjun: no you frickin cheater  
renjun: i save my answers

jaemin: lol

jeno: jaemin beg him 

jaemin: it doesn’t even matter to me lol

jeno: please :(

jaemin: renjun please (◕︿◕✿)

jeno: please renjun  
jeno: just one answer ;(

renjun: i hate you two  
renjun: they’re in peter piper’s palm

jeno: you’re the best

jaemin: watch that not even be an option

renjun: no no  
renjun: i know that’s the answer

jeno: giving us the wrong answer so he can win this is so sick

renjun: no!  
renjun: that is the correct answer  
renjun: if it’s not then i will give you both $20

jaemin: sigh  
jaemin: only $20?

renjun: what do you want a car

jeno: oh?

renjun: no  
renjun: you either get $20 or something of equal value

jaemin: can i get a kith uwu

jeno: please never say uwu again or i WILL divorce you

jaemin: this is homophobic

renjun: you think a kiss from me is worth $20?  
renjun: disgustingly low

jeno: well if you’re so confident that it’s the correct answer then there shouldn’t be a problem right

renjun: i fucking hate it here

jaemin: ໒( •́ ∧ •̀ )७

renjun: fine  
renjun: just for the record i hate you both

jeno: we all know that’s a lie

renjun: i never lie

jaemin: you just lied!

renjun: no i didn’t!

jeno: you did it again!

renjun: i’m going to block you  
renjun: when is it starting?

jaemin: taeyong said we can wait like another five minutes or so for you guys

renjun: cool cool  
renjun: everyone except for yangyang is gonna play

jeno: aw  
jeno: not mr sheepsheep

renjun: he’s not in a state where he can play anyway  
renjun: he’ll be watching over dejun’s shoulder tho

jaemin: hey no outside help

renjun: i just gave you two the answer to the most ridiculous question i’ve ever heard i think that yangyang can WATCH dejun play

jeno: well we still don’t know for sure whether it’s correct or not 

renjun: IT’S RIGHT!!!  
renjun: i’m telling you it’s right 

jaemin: we’ll see  
jaemin: if it’s not then we both get a kith

renjun: i hate you both so much  
renjun: so so much

jeno: no you don’t

renjun: actually i have a medical condition that makes me unable to kiss people  
renjun: if i do then i’ll die  
renjun: so therefore i cannot give you kisses or i will simply Drop Dead

jaemin: hmmm  
jaemin: is that kisses in general or only on the lips

renjun: no kisses  
renjun: anywhere ever

jeno: why are you so against this  
jeno: just give us the kisses

renjun: i would rather give you $100 each than do that

jeno: make it $150 and we’ll have a deal

jaemin: no jeno don’t give into the ways of capitalism!!

jeno: but  
jeno: but  
jeno: money

jaemin: that’s your inner capitalist talking  
jaemin: what did i say about not listening to it

jeno: but with money i can buy shiny things

jaemin: fair point  
jaemin: no!  
jaemin: we have to get the renjun kisses!

renjun: i can bring it to $200

jaemin: no!  
jaemin: renjun kisses!

jeno: i’m sorry renjun  
jeno: you have no choice

renjun: you would kill me so that you can get a kiss????  
renjun: i’m gonna call the police on you

jaemin: kith!  
jaemin: ｡゜(｀Д´)゜｡

renjun: no!

jaemin: give me the kith!!!!  
jaemin: ｡ﾟ(*´□`)ﾟ｡  
jaemin: please!!!

renjun: never!!

jaemin: i’m gonna cry!

renjun: is that a threat or a promise

jaemin: you’re so mean (;﹏;)

renjun: fine!  
renjun: but i already know that it’s correct!

_When Jeno sees the words ‘in Peter Piper’s palm’ on his phone screen and his answer streak continues even after he selects that as the answer, he can’t help but feel a little sad. How absolutely whipped he is._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really typed out Ten's real name every single time, the things I do for Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul
> 
> anyways back on my bullshit, see yall in 2021


	45. friday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> donghyeok: i’m gonna grind your elbows into my morning smoothie
> 
> jaemeon: tasty
> 
> jeneo: n o

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fresh cabbage  
> Renjun: renjeon  
> Jeno: jeneo  
> Donghyuck: donghyeok  
> Jaemin: jaemeon  
> Yangyang: yeongyeong  
> Shotaro: shotareo
> 
> nohyuckmin  
> Jeno: no  
> Donghyuck: hyuck  
> Jaemin: min
> 
> kidz bop  
> Jeno: jen  
> Jaemin: jaem
> 
> 11:11  
> Taeil: princess yue  
> Johnny: johnny appleseed  
> Taeyong: teayong  
> Yuta: yuTA  
> Kun: kung-fu  
> Doyoung: dingdong  
> Ten: number  
> Jaehyun: uknow  
> Sicheng: soupcheng  
> Jungwoo: jungle  
> Yukhei: yukas  
> Mark: markus  
> Xiaojun: of july  
> Kunhang: kun man  
> Renjun: renning  
> Jeno: jenna  
> Donghyuck: hockey hyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemming  
> Yangyang: sheepsheep  
> Shotaro: shota  
> Sungchan: sungshi  
> Chenle: angel le  
> Jisung: jwisung

**fresh cabbage** **  
** **[Today, 11:01]**

**[jaemeon is online]** **  
** **[jaemeon (admin) has added Shotaro Osaki to the chat!]** **  
** **[jaemeon has changed Shotaro Osaki’s name to shotareo]** **  
** **[jeneo, donghyeok, and shotareo are online]**

jeneo: how many people are going to check this gc anyway

jaemeon: i was trying to add him before i forgot   
jaemeon: hi shotaro!

shotareo: what’s going on?

donghyeok: this is the freshman gc   
donghyeok: even if you’re not going to school here you’re still our age

shotareo: so it’s just us?

jeneo: nope!   
jeneo: there’s renjun and yangyang but they’re both dead

shotareo: they’re dead???!!!!

jaemeon: well they’re not dead yet   
jaemeon: but they don’t really check many gcs

donghyeok: isn’t yangyang in a coma or summ

jeneo: renjun said that he was watching over dejun’s shoulder during the kahoots so he’s probably not in it anymore

shotareo: why was yangyang in a coma?

jaemeon: the china line members were celebrating chenle’s birthday and a gas tank in his basement exploded and yangyang was really close to it so he’s been in a coma

shotareo: oh no   
shotareo: that’s horrible

donghyeok: yeah but at least he’s awake now right?

jeneo: that’s what we think at least   
jeneo: renjun still hasn’t told me for sure yet :(   
jeneo: what about you jaemin?

jaemeon: me neither   
jaemeon: how sad   
jaemeon: didn’t even get the kiss cause his answer turned out to be right

donghyeok: what

jaemeon: stuff   
jaemeon: i might explain sooner or later ;)

donghyeok: i’m gonna grind your elbows into my morning smoothie

jaemeon: tasty

jeneo: n o   
jeneo: donghyuck if you could be so merciful as to let my boyfriend keep his elbows 

shotareo: you two are dating?

jaemeon: yep!

jeneo: yes   
jeneo: and i think i like jaemin better with his elbows so please donghyuck

donghyeok: i’m doing this for the good of your relationship   
donghyeok: you can’t be so superficial as to like jaemin less for not having elbows

jaemeon: my elbows are pretty sexy tho   
jaemeon: kinda wanna keep em

jeneo: me too

donghyeok: you think his elbows are sexy????!!!!!

jaemeon: awww baby you think my elbows are sexy (◕︿◕)

jeneo: every part of you is sexy

donghyeok: i hate you all   
donghyeok: shotaro is my new best friend

shotareo: ♡✧( ु•⌄• )   
shotareo: I am honored

donghyeok: see?   
donghyeok: he actually likes me and won’t shove his relationship in my face

jaemeon: you do the same thing with mark????   
jaemeon: almost as bad as us and you guys aren’t even dating yet????

jeneo: hypocrisy at its finest   
jeneo: reason 1 out of a million and counting why we don’t like you

donghyeok: i know you guys are actually just closeted haechan stans   
donghyeok: you don’t need to tell me i already know

jaemeon: you’re delusional

jeneo: ^^

donghyeok: internalized haechanphobia   
donghyeok: it’s okay   
donghyeok: i understand

jaemeon: shotaro tell him how stupid he’s being

shotareo: why don’t you guys like him (｡•́︿•̀｡)   
shotareo: I think donghyuck is very cool

donghyeok: i actually really like shotaro so much better than you guys

jeneo: wait until you know him a little better   
jeneo: you’ll see exactly why

shotareo: you guys shouldn’t be so mean to him ●︿●   
shotareo: I really think he’s nice

jeneo: he’s a nightmare

jaemeon: you just have to wait until he unleashes his inner beast

donghyeok: fuck you i’m a delight

jeneo: okay sweatie

jaemeon: whatever you say donghyuck

shotareo: I’ve only met you once but I think you’re really cool

donghyeok: yep yep   
donghyeok: shotaro is my new best friend   
donghyeok: jeno? who that i don’t know him   
donghyeok: jaemin? you mean jaehyun?

jeneo: damn   
jeneo: i can’t say that i didn’t deserve that

donghyeok: damn right

jaemeon: never wanted to be your friend anyways   
jaemeon: that’s a joke i love you

donghyeok: well it’s one-sided

jaemeon: that’s okay i have a boyfriend who loves me

donghyeok: i hate you

jeneo: hey don’t be mean to jaemin   
jeneo: your noodley arms would never stand a chance against me

donghyeok: just kidding!   
donghyeok: jaemin i love you!

jaemeon: no

donghyeok: jeno you can’t beat me up for beating up someone this rude

jeneo: nope   
jeneo: he is still my boyfriend and i will defend him no matter what   
jeneo: god i love saying that

jaemeon: i love it too jfc   
jaemeon: god jeno is my boyfriend    
jaemeon: still an absolute dream even tho it’s been a few weeks

donghyeok: i hate you   
donghyeok: i hate you    
donghyeok: i hate you

jeneo: you’re just so incredibly jealous

donghyeok: no i’m disgusted   
donghyeok: tf you mean jealous   
donghyeok: i can do that exact same thing but i actually have respect for markly

jaemeon: ew   
jaemeon: you should just kiss him

donghyeok: 

jaemeon: that’s a joke

**nohyuckmin** **  
** **[Today, 11:22]**

hyuck: god i feel so bad about moving here and leaving shotaro out but idk if i wanna get him in drama    
hyuck: he's so sweet like actually    
hyuck: um

min: oh no

no: what happened now

hyuck: you know how we were recording deja vu together

min: oh no x2

hyuck: after i recorded the high note he kinda    
hyuck: kissed me

min: HE WHAT

no: WHAT??????

min: YOU’RE FUCKING JOKING

no: NO FUCKING WAY

hyuck: yes yes   
hyuck: very valid reaction   
hyuck: that was me too

min: THAT’S ACTUALLY INSANE???????

no: WHAT GOES ON

hyuck: yes   
hyuck: i will let you two freak out

min: BRO   
min: I DIDN’T KNOW THIS WAS POSSIBLE

no: I KNOW   
no: DIDN’T KNOW MARK HAD IT IN HIM

min: THAT’S ACTUALLY SO SWEET???   
min: WHEN YOU’RE DOING THE THING YOU LOVE THE MOST HE JUST 

no: HE CAN BE SO ROMANTIC WHEN HE WANTS TO   
no: okay i’m done

min: NOT ME   
min: WHAT THE FUCK   
min: AND YOU DIDN’T TELL US????

hyuck: cause i knew this would happen

min: IT’S BEEN ALMOST A WEEK SCRUB   
min: YOU JUST KEPT US IN THE DARK????

hyuck: not relevant   
hyuck: so yeah now you know

min: alright i am Clam

no: nice to meet you clam

min: as you may be able to see i am very much not calm

hyuck: yes i can see

no: so what happened after?

hyuck: we just reestablished boundaries   
hyuck: he said that he didn’t mean to do it bc he doesn’t want to do relationship things when he’s not ready for a relationship

min: man what the fuck

hyuck: is that a good what the fuck or no

min: neutral   
min: he didn’t mean to kiss you.   
min: sigh.

hyuck: ik   
hyuck: but who can blame him i am extremely kissable and sexy

no: and you’re for sure that he likes you back

hyuck: that’s what he says   
hyuck: i’m taking his word for it

min: can you really do that

hyuck: i don't think he's ever given me a reason to not trust him   
hyuck: should i not be trusting him    
hyuck: how can i like someone if i don't trust them wtf

no: that's not necessarily what we're trying to say   
no: it's just if he does stuff like that and then says he didn't mean to do it it seems like he's leading you on doesn't it

hyuck: he wouldn't lead me on

min: and he probably isn't   
min: it never helps to check tho

hyuck: he said he's depresso espresso and he doesn't want me to have to deal with that so he isn't gonna start dating me   
hyuck: that's all it is

min: if you're so sure

hyuck: i trust mark with my life   
hyuck: he isn't leading me on   
hyuck: i wouldn't let him do that 

no: then that's a good thing and we're both happy for you

min: you can trust us too when we say that we actually love you

hyuck: so i was right and you guys ARE closeted haechan stans

min: nvm

no: nvm

hyuck: nope nope i’ve got receipts now ahaha

no: man fuck

min: sigh

**kidz bop** **  
** **[Today, 11:35]**

jaem: i’m fucking PISSED

jen: oh no it's okay baby 

jaem: stop me from strangling mark with his guitar strings and shoving the wood so far up his ass it shreds his stomach and he looks like a popsicle

jen: okay   
jen: how do you suggest i do that

jaem: use any method you have at your disposal

jen: roger that baby

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 13:15]**

**[jungle is online]**

jungle: i got a work bonus and i’m feeling generous so the first person to reply gets three boba drinks

**[princess yue, johnny appleseed, teayong, and ten others are online]**

jwisung: e

hockey hyuck: me   
hockey hyuck: oh man wtf

jungle: ding ding ding jisung is the winner   
jungle: my orders come in at your demand your highness

jwisung: fucking bet

markus: this is so sad alexa play i dream by elkie

princess yue: i blame it all on my shitty wifi   
princess yue: we should get a better plan

teayong: sure if you can pay for it

princess yue: nvm lol!

yuTA: i’m this close to getting a sugar daddy 👌

jenna: are the fingers supposed to be touching like that

yuTA: yes

jaemming: tell me what website you’re gonna use    
jaemming: have to get that bread somehow

jenna: oh my

dingdong: are you just gonna watch this happen jeno

jenna: whatever makes my nana happy

jaemming: god this is why you’re the love of my life

jwisung: disgusting

johnny appleseed: living the dream

uknow: so happy for you guys but single lives matter too 

sungshi:  _ watching that conversation made me feel discriminated against for some reason _

shota: for real

dingdong: that’s right   
dingdong: jaemin if jeno ever hurts you then tell me and i will make him regret it 

jaemming: even tho he’s your favorite dreamie

dingdong: what makes you think that

teayong: idk   
teayong: just every single interaction you’ve had with him

johnny appleseed: facts

princess yue: your bias is very visible 

yuTA: it is yes

dingdong: no way

markus: no no they’re right

jungle: jeno is very obviously your favorite dreamie and underclassman in general excluding jaehyun

uknow: i am honored?

dingdong: fine   
dingdong: but i will still tear him limb from limb if he is ever unfair to you jaemin

jaemming: i’ll keep that in mind

jenna: why would you do this to me   
jenna: your favorite child

dingdong: i do not support assholes

jungle: yeah get his ass doyoung

sungshi:  _ i don’t think that it’s legal to tear someone limb from limb _ _  
_ sungshi:  _ i could be wrong tho _

teayong: if you were wrong then i would be concerned for this country

hockey hyuck: are you really an american if you aren’t concerned for this country 

jaemming: every single person living in america is terrified of this place   
jaemming: unless you’re a straight white male then there is nothing to fear

jenna: sigh   
jenna: that is the sad truth of this cursed soil

johnny appleseed: are you really american if you don’t hate it here   
johnny appleseed: but when other countries talk shit about us you’re suddenly a patriot

markus: the true american experience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soo
> 
> today marks six months since i started writing this. since then i've received so much more attention on this than i ever thought possible, and i wanted to say thank you all for sticking with me this long. my updates have been so irregular and the plot is a complete mess but you guys have given me so much support despite all that. thank you guys so much. 
> 
> lol i can't write from the heart cause i'm *whips* emotionally constipated but i hope that i could convey some of my gratitude properly. 
> 
> have a wonderful 2021 !!


	46. saturday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [dejun (admin) has added Yuta Nakamoto to the chat!]  
> [dejun (admin) has changed the chat name to get sicheng a fucking break]
> 
> dejun: welcome Yuta Nakamoto  
> dejun: as you may be able to tell from the chat name  
> dejun: this is a chat dedicated to getting sicheng some fucking peace and quiet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> greasy  
> Doyoung: hera   
> Jaehyun: zeus

**New Group Conversation** **  
** **[Today, 1:28]**

**[dejun is online]** **  
** **[dejun (admin) has added Yuta Nakamoto to the chat!]** **  
** **[dejun (admin) has changed the chat name to get sicheng a fucking break]**

dejun: welcome Yuta Nakamoto   
dejun: as you may be able to tell from the chat name   
dejun: this is a chat dedicated to getting sicheng some fucking peace and quiet   
dejun: and seeing as you are a major part in getting him out of the hospital you are required to be here

**[Yuta Nakamoto, kun, ten, and four others are online]** **  
** **[Yuta Nakamoto has changed Yuta Nakamoto’s name to yuta]**

yuta: i see   
yuta: this is a very important group chat indeed

chenle: before we get started, however   
chenle: there are some things we would like to ask you

yuta: fire away kid

renjun: are you interested in dong sicheng romantically

yuta: hm   
yuta: will you guys burn me at the stake depending on my answer?

kunhang: only time will tell   
kunhang: but you must first answer the question

yuta: i feel like you guys already know the answer   
yuta: ik that kun does already

kun: yes but you must admit it properly because you have never said it explicitly

yuta: bruh   
yuta: fine   
yuta: all for sicheng   
yuta: yes i am interested in him romantically   
yuta: will there be a problem with that in the future?

ten: no   
ten: as long as you dont hurt him

renjun: sicheng won’t let some man hurt him lmao

yuta: that’s a good thing right

chenle: hell yeah it is

dejun: but actually that’s not what we need from you rn   
dejun: we must talk to you about your abnormal success rate in making sicheng feel relaxed

yuta: abnormal success rate?   
yuta: he usually seems pretty stressed when we leave each other

yukhei: well he’s a phenomenal actor

ten: au contraire   
ten: whenever he comes back to us after being with you its like he’s released all of his tension and stress 

yuta: seriously 😶   
yuta: here i’ve been thinking that i make him more stressed

kunhang: he loves spending time with you

renjun: we can all tell how it actually helps him unwind

chenle: why else do you think we asked you specifically to take sicheng out

yuta: because i show an unnatural attachment to him 😶

yukhei: well there’s that and the fact that he actually destresses around you regardless of whether he shows you or not

yuta: well ig you guys know him better than i do so i’ll take your word for it

kun: what’s your plan for today casanova

yuta: tf you calling me casanova for   
yuta: i’m just taking him to a park nearby because he seems to really like hanging around the creeks   
yuta: even tho it’s fucking december and it’s cold as shit but all for sicheng   
yuta: then probably go back home and finish watching an anime

chenle: which one

yuta: tanaka kun is always listless

chenle: is it good

yuta: yes if you like slice of life

renjun: this seems like a date

yuta: this is what we usually do??

chenle: so you guys go on dates on the regular 

yuta: it isn’t a date   
yuta: this is just shit that helps him feel better

kunhang: if i’m not mistaken i think he’ll feel better anywhere as long as he’s with you

yuta: well this is the stuff that he has said helps 

yukhei: wait seriously?

kun: didn’t know he would ever tell anyone what exactly makes him feel good

dejun: even i barely have a grasp of it and i’ve known him for almost 20 years

yuta: well he said that he sleeps to the sound of rivers on his phone so i figured that he likes being around that   
yuta: and when we watched our first anime together it seemed like he slept really well so i’ve kept on watching them with him

ten: why do you ACTUALLY act like his boyfriend

yuta: cause i’ve been tasked with helping him destress and ik he’s not the type to voice his needs so ofc i’m gonna pay attention to everything???   
yuta: would you guys not also do this??

chenle: i would try but he’s so good at hiding things

kun: i think yuta is the only person alive who would pick up on these things and actually remember them

yuta: idk what to tell you man   
yuta: this is just what i thought was the bare minimum

dejun: yeah   
dejun: if sicheng ever decides to break that chastity vow of his i would 10/10 approve for you to ask him out

yuta: he has a chastity vow???

yukhei: he told you about him being part of the mafia and not about the way that he has basically sworn off all relationships???

yuta: you guys know about that???

yukhei: oh shit   
yukhei:  _ sorry kun ge _

kun:  _ you’re alright _ _   
_ kun:  _ he was bound to ask eventually _

yuta: what

kun: well yes we know because we are also part of the mafia?

yuta: all of you?

kun: yeah

yuta: oh   
yuta: cool

dejun: just a ‘cool’?

yuta: it’s been a weird week man   
yuta: my lab partner started a fire with water and a paperclip so idek at this point   
yuta: but wdym sworn off all men???

renjun: me and sicheng are people who are like   
renjun: ‘oh our job is too dangerous we shouldn’t get into a relationship bc our partner could be put in danger’   
renjun: yeah

yuta: ohhh   
yuta: that’s understandable   
yuta: no wonder i lowkey get mixed signals from him sometimes

chenle: just getting mixed signals from him is a miracle

yuta: i bet   
yuta: shouldn’t you guys be asleep tho?

ten: sleep is for the week   
ten: wait   
ten: well i mean that works too

yuta: lol

ten: it’s late and my english machine broke leave me a lone 

yuta: oh yeah i can certainly tell   
yuta: exactly why you should go to sleep already   
yuta: kun make him go to sleep

ten: oh i hate you yuta nakamoto

yuta: lol

ten: he just did the fucking grabby hands how the fuck am i supposed to resist this

yuta: don’t   
yuta: good night!

ten: fair enough   
ten: night

**[kun and ten are offline]**

chenle: god i love my dads   
chenle: so sweet

yuta: you sleep too wth   
yuta: all of you 

dejun: could say the same for you

yuta: i will   
yuta: eventually

kunhang: why eventually and not now

yuta: helping with    
yuta: 🤢   
yuta: taxes   
yuta: need to get me a friend that i can marry for the tax benefits

renjun: hm

chenle: well do i have the person for you!

yuta: oh?   
yuta: who are you suggesting young one

chenle: heheheheheh

yuta: i don’t think i like that laugh very much

chenle: it’s totally fine   
chenle: he’s bad at cooking but is good with animals    
chenle: and he’s sexy as hell

renjun: i feel like i already know who this is

dejun: don’t we all 

yuta: all except for me    
yuta: who is this extremely sexy man

chenle: dong sicheng

yuta: yeah you’re funny

chenle: thanks i’m trying to be a comedian in the future

kunhang: this is news 

yukhei: i think you’ll do great in that field lele

chenle: god i knew that i always liked yukhei the most

renjun: not even sicheng?

chenle: well sicheng being first is just a given with anyone who knows him

dejun: facts

kunhang: if you know sicheng and he isn’t your favorite person then you don’t have rights

yukhei: so big brain 

yuta: i’m not gonna marry sicheng he probably wouldn’t even let me get even close to him

renjun:

kunhang:

dejun:

yukhei:

chenle:

dejun:  _ i’m guessing we’re not gonna tell him that we caught sicheng simping for him like two days ago  _

renjun:  _ we are not going to do that correct _

yuta: ???

chenle: nothing!

yuta: anyway if you guys can get sleep then you should

yukhei: only if you do too

yuta: fine   
yuta: you guys better actually sleep too

chenle: yeye

yuta: good night!

renjun: night

dejun: good night!

kunhang: good night

yukhei good night!!

chenle: night everyone

**[yuta, yukhei, dejun, and three others are offline]**

**greasy** **  
** **[Today, 7:29]**

**[hera is online]**

hera: hey ik you’re probably not awake but do you know anything about johnny taking on a bunch of extra shifts?   
hera: you’re like his best friend other than taeyong but he hasn’t told taeyong anything about it   
hera: yong’s just worried

**[zeus is online]**

hera: oh you are awake

zeus: cause i have a special ringtone for messages from you so i wake up to them

hera: cute

zeus: no u

hera: but yeah do you know anything?

zeus: idk if i can tell?

hera: oh   
hera: cause yong’s just worried he’ll overwork himself so he wanted me to ask you

zeus: oh   
zeus: i’m not really sure if it’s my place to tell

hera: that’s fine   
hera: i hope everything’s okay tho

zeus: i think it’ll be okay

hera: does it have anything to do with the sudden influx of groceries that you’re buying for us   
hera: or johnny’s increasingly obvious crush on taeyong

zeus: both

hera: huh   
hera: i don’t really know to react to that

zeus: lol

hera: will he ever confess

zeus: don’t tell him i’m talking to you about this    
zeus: he wants to be financially stable before he asks yong out

hera: wth

zeus: it’s a little wack yeah but i won’t judge   
zeus: he isn’t miserable just yet   
zeus: and taeyong isn’t right?

hera: no   
hera: he’s just worried   
hera: apparently he and johnny have been spending less time together bc he’s always working

zeus: oh

hera: yeah

zeus: and taeyong likes him too right?

hera: yeah   
hera: it’s a little concerning   
hera: cause both of them seem like they would rather die than lose each other but neither of them will make the first move

zeus: really?

hera: it shows more when you live with the fuckers 

zeus: understandable   
zeus: why doesn’t taeyong make the first move then?

hera: i don’t know   
hera: whenever i ask him he just avoids the question and changes the subject so i don’t really push it

zeus: god i hate oblivious idiots

hera: wasn’t that me until just a little bit ago lmao

zeus: oop   
zeus: it doesn’t apply to you cause i could never hate you   
zeus: that’d be illegal methinks

hera: taeyong would tell you otherwise

zeus: the same taeyong who wanted to make couple rings with you 

hera: that’s the bitch

zeus: somehow i find it hard to believe that they’re the same person

hera: it’s funny honestly   
hera: one second we’ll be choking each other and the next second we’re saying that we wanna go to the same nursing home

zeus: what a special bond you two have

hera: you’re coming to the nursing home too   
hera: we’re taking all of nct with us whether yall want or not

zeus: i think we’ll all be sick of each other by then

hera: never gonna get sick of you guys   
hera: but if this unlimited members thing taeyong has going on is really gonna happen then we’re gonna have our own members visiting us 

zeus: i really don’t think it’s gonna last that long

hera: well taeyong has hope so ig i do too   
hera: nct world domination yk

zeus: nct world domination 

**Conversation with Tingyan Chong** **  
** **[Today, 12:04]**

**[Tingyan Chong is online]**

Tingyan Chong: i would like to a lifetime’s supply of cake and steak as compensation for my work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god i miss elkie


	47. saturday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pinocchio: elkie pulled it off  
> pinocchio: we can stay in america

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shrek 5 2k20  
> Kun: horst  
> Ten: shrek  
> Sicheng: pinocchio  
> Yukhei: prince charming  
> Xiaojun: dragon  
> Kunhang: donkey  
> Renjun: fairy godmother  
> Yangyang: puss in boots  
> Chenle: rumpelstiltskin
> 
> 11:11  
> Taeil: princess yue   
> Johnny: johnny appleseed  
> Taeyong: teayong  
> Yuta: yuTA  
> Kun: kung-fu  
> Doyoung: dingdong  
> Ten: number  
> Jaehyun: uknow   
> Sicheng: soupcheng   
> Jungwoo: jungle  
> Yukhei: yukas  
> Mark: markus   
> Xiaojun: of july   
> Kunhang: kun man  
> Renjun: renning  
> Jeno: jenna   
> Donghyuck: hockey hyuck   
> Jaemin: jaemming   
> Yangyang: sheepsheep  
> Shotaro: shota  
> Sungchan: sungshi  
> Chenle: angel le  
> Jisung: jwisung

**Conversation with Tingyan Chong** **  
** **[Today, 12:05]**

**[Si Cheng Dong is online]**

Si Cheng Dong: you’re kidding   
Si Cheng Dong: did you actually manage to pull it off?

Tingyan Chong: i did    
Tingyan Chong: but i did have to make some promises on your behalf

Si Cheng Dong: on my half specifically or all of kun ge’s squad?

Tingyan Chong: all of you   
Tingyan Chong: you guys let chenle get so much as a scratch on him then they’re discarding all eight of you

Si Cheng Dong: terrifying   
Si Cheng Dong: it’s better than nothing   
Si Cheng Dong: do you actually want that supply of cake and steak?    
Si Cheng Dong: cause i know some people who owe me favors

Tingyan Chong: here in virginia or back in china?

Si Cheng Dong: both

Tingyan Chong: just the cake   
Tingyan Chong: the steak might be too much

Si Cheng Dong: okay   
Si Cheng Dong: do you like breeze?

Tingyan Chong: hell yeah

Si Cheng Dong: great i’ll arrange for that

Tingyan Chong: god this was so worth every single second

Si Cheng Dong: and you’re for certain that this is true?

Tingyan Chong: 100%   
Tingyan Chong: so go ahead and tell the rest of kun ge’s squad   
Tingyan Chong: i expect my reward once i come back

Si Cheng Dong: i’ll have it prepared immediately

**Shrek 5 2k20** **  
** **[Today, 12:20]**

pinocchio: elkie pulled it off   
pinocchio: we can stay in america

**[horst, shrek, prince charming, and four others are online]**

donkey: NO WAY

dragon: oh my god

rumpelstiltskin: that’s crazy   
rumpelstiltskin: she’s crazy

horst: wow

shrek: insanity

prince charming: that’s so good!!!!

fairy godmother: what conditions are there

pinocchio: sigh   
pinocchio: i’m gonna copy and paste   
pinocchio: “you guys let chenle get so much as a scratch on him then they’re discarding all eight of you”

rumpelstiltskin: DISCARD????

horst: it’s the nicest i’ve ever seen them   
horst: i wonder what elkie did to make them agree

dragon: some things are better off left unknown

shrek: facts   
shrek: i wouldn’t ever wanna cross her

donkey: no one with any desire to live would ever do that

fairy godmother: even people who do wanna die would never 

prince charming: tldr elkie is not to be messed with

rumpelstiltskin: she’s actually the only one of my cousins aside from you guys that jisung isn’t scared of ironically   
rumpelstiltskin: other than jun

dragon: can someone even be scared of jun

horst: yes

donkey: other than you

horst: he’s literally batshit crazy idk why you guys aren’t at least a little scared of him

prince charming: cause he’s entertaining

shrek: he only acts like that to annoy you kun

horst: whaT???

shrek: LMAO   
shrek: you didn’t know this

horst: i very much did not   
horst: i thought he just genuinely had a screw loose

fairy godmother: no one’s saying he doesn’t   
fairy godmother: but he really turns it up when he’s around you

horst: is this bullying i think it is

rumpelstiltskin: wait can we tell the other members?

pinocchio: go for it   
pinocchio: but like be careful of questions?

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 12:26]**

soupcheng: we’re gonna be able to stay in america

**[princess yue, johnny appleseed, teayong, and eleven others are online]**

dingdong: oh thank god

teayong: rt

johnny appleseed: wait no i’m so happy :(

markus: congratulations on winning negotiations?

soupcheng: thanks but it wasn’t us who persuaded lele’s parents

angel le: it was elkie

jwisung: lele!!   
jwisung: you’re finally back in the gc

of july: we’re all gonna be active here again

yukas: god it’s been so long since i checked this gc

kun man: fr   
kun man: i almost don’t wanna read all of the messages

renning: then don’t idk what to tell you man

kun man: i’m gonna strangle you   
kun man: injury or not

renning: i’d like to see you try

yuTA: let’s not do that yeah?

renning: no   
renning: if i can’t strangle yangyang then i gotta go for the next best

kun man: i actually am going to hurt you

jenna: please do not hurt renjun :(   
jenna: he’s annoying but he doesn’t deserve to be strangled

jaemming: yes yes   
jaemming: strangling renjun would not be very cash money of you kunhang

kun man: okay apparently you two are muscley so i will not fight back

jenna: yay (.◜◡◝)

renning: suck it kunhang

kun man: not yours ew

renning: you have three seconds to hide

kun man: going!

uknow: are there terms and conditions for your stay in america

soupcheng: just don’t let it happen again basically

hockey hyuck: how are you gonna be able to control gas tank explosions tho 

soupcheng: magic

teayong: wait if all of you guys are gonna be active again then where are kun ten and yangyang?

kung-fu: lurking

number: i am making it impossible for kun to type 

of july: yangyang isn’t allowed to be on his phone just yet   
of july: still recovering

johnny appleseed: so all of you are awake now?

kun man: yeah

sungshi:  _ wait, what’s going on? _

teayong: oh right!   
teayong: you and shotaro only know sicheng out of the china line right?

shota: we know the others by name only    
shota: which one is sicheng hyung?

soupcheng: i’m sicheng

shota: ohhh   
shota: that makes sense

sungshi:  _ but what’s this all about? _

yuTA: basically china line got caught in an explosion that made chenle’s parents want to take them back to china for safety reasons   
yuTA: and now they’re gonna be able to stay in the states

sungshi:  _ i didn’t realize that you had so much going hyung _ _   
_ sungshi:  _ thank you for taking care of me and shotaro hyung _

soupcheng:  _ it’s no problem at all _ _   
_ soupcheng:  _ i’m just glad you two seem to be enjoying yourselves _

shota: oh yeah we’re having a lot of fun!

sungshi:  _ everyone has honestly been so welcoming it’s really nice here _

teayong: i’m glad we could make it fun for you guys :(   
teayong: i heard that you guys moved really suddenly so hearing that you guys are enjoying your experience so far is amazing

johnny appleseed: i hope we can continue making it fun ^_^

yuTA: yeye   
yuTA: you ever wanna do anything or want anything then just tell us 

number: yeah you guys hold highest priority as the newest children

kung-fu: damn   
kung-fu: i don’t even have first priority??

number: nope it’s the babies    
number: you are a close second tho

kung-fu: fair enough me too

jaemming: wait wouldn’t china line bar kunten also be babies?

princess yue: no

jenna: ???

johnny appleseed: trauma bonding

jaemming: ohhhh

jenna: makes sense

hockey hyuck: i will also help you guys with whatever i can!   
hockey hyuck: if anyone is ever mean to you then i’ll beat them so just tell me!

sungshi:  _...noted _

shota: I don’t think we’ll ever need you to beat anyone up but, yes, we will keep that in mind

markus: hyuck you shouldn’t be beating anyone up so kindly refrain from doing so

hockey hyuck: hmmm   
hockey hyuck: if you’re asking so politely then i suppose i have no choice but to oblige

markus: why thank you

hockey hyuck: you’re quite welcome

dingdong: you two are infuriating    
dingdong: anyways shotaro and sungchan that’s basically the gist of what’s going on with the chinese members

shota: wait so who’s chinese?

of july: kun (kung-fu), ten (number), sicheng (soupcheng), yukhei/xuxi/lucas (yukas), dejun (me), kunhang/guanheng/hendery (kun man), renjun (renning), yangyang (sheepsheep), and chenle (angel le)

sungshi:  _ that’s… _

shota: that’s a very interesting group you’ve gathered, taeyong hyung

teayong: wait what does that mean???

jwisung: probably that they’re a very weird combination lol

princess yue: yall are so weird

jaemming: what is that even supposed to mean   
jaemming: i thought you two didn’t know who the chinese members were so how do you know they’re an interesting group????   
jaemming: very questionable

yuTA: i mean weren’t sicheng and their parents friends?   
yuTA: so ig they would know of sicheng’s actual friend group and how stupid they are

angel le: HEY

renning: you’re calling me stupid?????????   
renning: that’s it idc about the fact that you’re older than me i’m gonna beat you up yuta   
renning: prepare to taste your own femur

yuTA: what the hell   
yuTA: what the hell   
yuTA: i am so terrified for my life

jenna: you shouldn’t have pissed him off idk what to tell you

yuTA: i didn’t mean him specifically   
yuTA: i just meant china line as a whole is lacking in braincells

of july: it’s cause kunhang is like negative one hundred so the rest of us need to make up for that

kun man: hey what the hell i’m breaking up with you   
kun man: like actually 

of july: nice try but you’re not getting rid of me   
of july: i’ll stick to your side like a leech    
of july: the only difference is that you’ll be taking shit from me

kun man: gotta put that 8 figure salary to use somehow

of july: you suck

kun man: yeah i suck you and we both know i don’t suck at that

uknow: asdfaskdfg

dingdong: how vulgar

angel le: this is what china line has to deal with on a daily

renning: this is why we keep losing braincells   
renning: bc of their endless jokes like this

yukas: someone please make it stop   
yukas: it’s happened so many times that i’m pretty sure my lifespan has been cut in half

soupcheng: just smile and pretend it does not exist :)   
soupcheng: that’s what i’ve been doing ever since they got together :)

kung-fu: so disgusting…

number: i’ve taught you guys well

kung-fu: you’ve taught them well but you’ve taught the wrong thing   
kung-fu: imagine the things you could’ve taught them instead that would not make us not lose braincells

number: where’s the fun in that   
number: this is so much better than having them be church boys

of july: if i was a church boy then i would commit sewer slide   
of july: honest to god

kun man: i seriously would never be able to handle censoring myself   
kun man: i would rather die than go to a private school   
kun man: rip renjun and sicheng

renning: i’m blocking it out from my memory so don’t remind me

kun man: f u i do what i want

renning: try me   
renning: i’ll put you in the bed next to yangyang

kun man: go ahead   
kun man: then i can cuddle him all day with a proper excuse

renning: wait wtf   
renning: no   
renning: i’m not gonna do that actually

kun man: damn

of july: you were so close

kun man: ik

renning: you don’t deserve that

kun man: you’re telling me that i, yangyang’s boyfriend, do not deserve to cuddle him all day

renning: yes   
renning: he will be hurt if you cuddle him because you are Bony and he is Bony AND Injured

kun man: fair point   
kun man: i will trust you as yangyang’s best friend

renning: you better

**New Group Conversation** **  
** **[Today, 11:07]**

**[Zhong Jianyu (admin) has added Kun Qian and Si Cheng Dong to the chat!]**

Zhong Jianyu:  _ I have a mission for you all. _


	48. sunday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yuta: now what’s making you feel so sad baby
> 
> sicheng: BABYASDFLASKDGAF
> 
> yuta: sorry  
> yuta: was that not good?
> 
> sicheng: nope  
> sicheng: it made my heart stop for a second tho 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yucheng  
> Yuta: yuta   
> Sicheng: sicheng
> 
> yuil  
> Taeil: illie  
> Yuta: yuyu
> 
> Shrek 5 2k20  
> Kun: horst  
> Ten: shrek  
> Sicheng: pinocchio  
> Yukhei: prince charming  
> Xiaojun: dragon  
> Kunhang: donkey  
> Renjun: fairy godmother  
> Yangyang: puss in boots  
> Chenle: rumpelstiltskin

**yucheng** **  
** **[Today, 4:34]**

**[sicheng is online]**

sicheng: hi i think i might CRY

**[yuta is online]**

yuta: WHAT?

sicheng: OH MY GOD   
sicheng: you are not the person i wished to message i am so sorry   
sicheng: go to sleep you dumb fuck

yuta: wait no   
yuta: now that i know you’re sad i won’t leave you alone

sicheng: no no    
sicheng: i am emotional and drunk and not in a state where i would be fun to talk to 

yuta: idc as to whether you’re fun    
yuta: i’m talking to you bc you’re my friend and i’m worried about you

sicheng: no non no   
sicheng: i am genuinely going to start crying and just ignore whatever you say at any random point

yuta: i don’t care   
yuta: just talk to me okay?   
yuta: well you don’t have to but i can talk to you if you’re really in such a bad mood   
yuta: i care about you    
yuta: no cap

sicheng: oh my god   
sicheng: i dont fuckinf deserve you   
sicheng: gonna crY brb

yuta: no no please don’t cry    
yuta: it’s okay    
yuta: you do deserve it    
yuta: remember what i said about just world fallacy?

sicheng: but that’s for good peoplr!!!!   
sicheng: i’m not a good person!

yuta: you are a good person!   
yuta: you need to stop saying that about yourself   
yuta: if you were such a bad person then the younger half of china line wouldn’t idolize you    
yuta: all of nct wouldn’t literally be whipped for you

sicheng: i’m tricking them!   
sicheng: acting is my passion   
sicheng: they think i’m ag ood person baut i’m really not

yuta: NO   
yuta: don’t think that don’t say that about yourself    
yuta: you’re a wonderful person sicheng i wish you would believe me when i say that    
yuta: now what’s making you feel so sad baby

sicheng: BABYASDFLASKDGAF

yuta: sorry    
yuta: was that not good?

sicheng: nope   
sicheng: it made my heart stop for a second tho 

yuta: sorry :(

sicheng: no nonononon   
sicheng: i liked it

yuta: oh   
yuta: but what’s going on?   
yuta: why are you going to cry?

sicheng: i’m not   
sicheng: one sec i’m gonna use the new update

**[sicheng has started a video call!]**

**yuil** **  
** **[Today, 6:28]**

yuyu: sigh

**[illie is online]**

illie: oh no that’s never good

yuyu: s i g h

illie: what’s happening

yuyu: *deep breath*   
yuyu: S I G H

illie: dude

yuyu: so    
yuyu: so   
yuyu: yknow how sicheng and company are like part of the chinese mafia

illie: no??   
illie: what???

yuyu: you don’t have to pretend sicheng told me this himself

illie: oh   
illie: then yes   
illie: what happened with them now

yuyu: go out to the kitchen and talk   
yuyu: he said to be a little more careful of bugs

illie: but you just said that you knew about them

yuyu: that apparently is fine

illie: ok

**Shrek 5 2k20** **  
** **[Today, 14:06]**

**[horst is online]**

horst: btw i don’t know if you know this chenle but you’re gonna be moving in with the seniors

**[shrek, pinocchio, prince charming, and four others are online]**

rumpelstiltskin: will we all fit???

shrek: we’re getting a new place   
shrek: it’s an actual house this time

pinocchio: how big is it?

horst: here i’ll send the plans   
horst:  [ https://archivaldesigns.com/collections/mansion-house-plans/products/chateau-de-lanier-house-plan ](https://archivaldesigns.com/collections/mansion-house-plans/products/chateau-de-lanier-house-plan)

prince charming: NO WAY   
prince charming: that’s literally a castle

dragon: do the other seniors even know that they’re changing living arrangements

donkey: would they even accept that they’re moving THERE

horst: no they do not know yet

shrek: we just learned about the house so we haven’t had the time to tell them

fairy godmother: why is it so big jesus fucking christ   
fairy godmother: you could probably fit all 23 of us in there

pinocchio: THERE’S AN ELEVATOR??????

fairy godmother: oh chenle has actually gone into shock

dragon: oh my god it’s 4 mil   
dragon: i’m guessing you aren’t paying for any of that

shrek: ofc not   
shrek: according to the boss if chenle’s is gonna stay here then they’re going to make his stay as comfortable as possible   
shrek: and according to them the best way to do that is to put him with older responsible people in a house that is large bc apparently large=comfortable

donkey: i feel like 7 bedrooms with 8 people would feel pretty empty tho   
donkey: cause i feel like i already know that most of you would rather room with a certain person than have a room to themselves

horst: yeah that’s most likely what’s gonna happen   
horst: taeyong hates sharing a room with anyone other than johnny   
horst: like he tolerated yuta and taeil back in the day but he only really likes johnny as a roommate

shrek: and there’s no way i am letting kun out of my clutches

pinocchio: wait if the semester is almost over why don’t you invite jaehyun to live with you guys?   
pinocchio: for doyoung    
pinocchio: i hear that they have a thing?

horst: oh?   
horst: we could actually

shrek: i’ll tell johnny to offer later

rumpelstiltskin: okay i am finally functioning again   
rumpelstiltskin: i understand that i usually have stuff a lot bigger and better but jesus   
rumpelstiltskin: this one just hits different

prince charming: it’s so majestic

horst: you know apparently the boss commissioned it from jeno

fairy godmother: wait seriously??   
fairy godmother: is it even legal to get it from someone who isn’t a licensed architect?

dragon: when has the boss ever followed the law

fairy godmother: fair point   
fairy godmother: but still   
fairy godmother: he never even told me about this :(

shrek: well like you said it IS not really advisable   
shrek: idrk if it’s illegal but it’s probably not good so they’re keeping it on the low ig

fairy godmother: fair enough

horst: but yeah   
horst: we’re probably gonna move at the very earliest by christmas   
horst: the boss and miss chunhua are pouring almost all their resources towards getting this place built asap   
horst: they really love you so much chenle

rumpelstiltskin: i know   
rumpelstiltskin: i love them too   
rumpelstiltskin: i think i’m gonna go call them and tell them how much i appreciate them real quick brb

pinocchio: cute   
pinocchio: parent-child relationship goals

dragon: i love that for them

donkey: they’re so sweet to each other 

fairy godmother: they’re the only valid mafiosos to ever exist

pinocchio: are the bsd characters a joke to you

fairy godmother: the only mafioso in bsd that is valid is chuuya i don’t make the rules

horst: we are all literally mafiosos

fairy godmother: your point

horst: nvm

fairy godmother: exactly   
fairy godmother: with the exception of sicheng there is not a single one of us who is valid

pinocchio: aw renjunnie   
pinocchio: i didn’t know you loved me so much

dragon: are you really human if you don’t love sicheng tho

prince charming: absolutely not

shrek: sicheng is the final boss of nct   
shrek: most people are whipped for taeil or mark or jeno or chenle but not everyone   
shrek: with sicheng every single person to ever live would jump in front of a bullet for him

pinocchio: i don’t think i need anyone to jump in front of a bullet for me tho   
pinocchio: the bulletproof vest stays on during sex

fairy godmother: until they come at you with an ak

pinocchio: if someone manages to jump in front of an ak bullet for me then they can have my hand in marriage   
pinocchio: if they survive

prince charming: i’m going to take that as a challenge   
prince charming: chenle i need your help

rumpelstiltskin: i would never point a gun anywhere near sicheng    
rumpelstiltskin: that’s illegal and bound to land me in hell

prince charming: damn it

donkey: you’re extremely confident that you can jump in front of an assault rifle bullet in time to save sicheng

prince charming: i have to have faith 

dragon: but if you don’t make it in time then sicheng will have a bullet lodged in him

prince charming: we give him a super thick bulletproof vest   
prince charming: load that shit on like kunhang loads butter on his toast

donkey: oi fuck off

prince charming: you’re gonna clog your arteries

donkey: i thought we were talking about your plan to get sicheng’s hand in marriage not my eating habits

prince charming: why can’t we talk about both

pinocchio: i’m not gonna marry yukhei   
pinocchio: that’s like marrying my little brother tf

prince charming: !!!   
prince charming: this is so sick and twisted

pinocchio: deal with it

prince charming: i might cry

pinocchio: sucks

dragon: seeing this side of sicheng is so weird

pinocchio: i’m hungover man

shrek: you were drinking???   
shrek: aren’t you supposed to go out with yuta today???

pinocchio: i was   
pinocchio: but he said that he’s just gonna come to the dorm and make sure that i am ‘healthy and hydrated’

horst: ironic how telling yuta that we were mafiosos was supposed to make him back off but he’s done the exact opposite 

pinocchio: ik   
pinocchio: i’m scared he’ll get hurt if he gets involved anymore

donkey: yuta’s a big boy   
donkey: if he gets hurt it’s because he himself decided to hang around us

fairy godmother: what kunhang said   
fairy godmother: you don’t have to baby him

pinocchio: i’m not babying him :/   
pinocchio: i’m just worried

rumpelstiltskin: what’s the worst that can happen?

rumpelstiltskin: you’re taking an awful long time to type

pinocchio: we could be seen together with him and enemies could be stalking our every move so they see us with him and that we’re friends so when we leave him alone they could swoop in and kidnap and demand information on us (they’ve done it before to jaemin except they didn’t kidnap him and taeil ended up intercepting the texts) and when he doesn’t tell them, bc he’s a scorpio and he’s stupid (altho i guess that fits in with scorpio)(yes i know i’m a scorpio), they might beat him up and injure him and they might hold him hostage or something and if we don’t give them what they want, which is what the boss will probably tell us to do, they might kill him and dump his body in the potomac river and we won’t find it for days, maybe even weeks and then we won’t know what to tell the rest of nct bc we were the ones who got yuta killed and if they find that out then they’re never going to want anything to do with us and they might even call the police on us for being part of a crime syndicate and then we’re going to have to go back to china and waste all of elkie’s work spent getting us to stay here and then she’ll end up hating us for wasting her time and maybe even the boss and miss chunhua will hate us for making a mess in a foregin country when we were supposed to keep a low profile

horst: 

shrek:

prince charming: 

dragon:

donkey: 

fairy godmother: 

rumpelstiltskin: 

shrek: you’ve   
shrek: you’ve certainly thought this through

pinocchio: of course i fucking have i’ve been stressing about this ever since i was added to the momo but with a glock gc and we started becoming friends

dragon: stop worrying or i’ll smack you with a trash can 

donkey: that is literally NEVER going to happen 

horst: ik that your imagination is sometimes good because you help a lot with predicting possible outcomes but this is the most irrational train of thought i’ve ever seen from you

prince charming: i couldn’t even keep up with it past the second ‘and’

rumpelstiltskin: i almost regret asking

fairy godmother: i say this with the best intentions in mind but sicheng   
fairy godmother: that is The STUPIDEST thing i have Ever Seen

pinocchio: you guys just don’t appreciate my genius   
pinocchio: i can predict the future just watch   
pinocchio: just wait and watch

dragon: i don’t wanna watch you be paranoid

shrek: sicheng you gotta chill   
shrek: seriously

pinocchio: just wait and watch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pretend that jeno is a god tier architect yeah?  
> i mean he probably would be anyway because he's lee jeno and he's good at EVERYTHING and it's n o t f a i r


	49. sunday/monday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ty: i hope every single one of your left shoes gets eaten by rats
> 
> [yt is online]
> 
> yt: what the fuck
> 
> ty: good morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> noren  
> Renjun: renjun  
> Jeno: jeno
> 
> the children  
> Chenle: lele  
> Jisung: sungie
> 
> twins  
> Taeyong: ty  
> Yuta: yt
> 
> cherry bomb  
> Yuta: bomb  
> Jaemin: cherry
> 
> yucheng  
> Yuta: yuta  
> Sicheng: sicheng
> 
> 11:11  
> Taeil: princess yue  
> Johnny: johnny appleseed  
> Taeyong: teayong  
> Yuta: yuTA  
> Kun: kung-fu  
> Doyoung: dingdong  
> Ten: number  
> Jaehyun: uknow  
> Sicheng: soupcheng  
> Jungwoo: jungle  
> Yukhei: yukas  
> Mark: markus  
> Xiaojun: of july  
> Kunhang: kun man  
> Renjun: renning  
> Jeno: jenna  
> Donghyuck: hockey hyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemming  
> Yangyang: sheepsheep  
> Shotaro: shota  
> Sungchan: sungshi  
> Chenle: angel le  
> Jisung: jwisung

**noren** **  
** **[Today, 18:38]**

**[renjun is online]**

renjun: hey you   
renjun: you never told me that you designed the seniors’ new house

**[jeno is online]**

jeno: oh   
jeno: i didn’t know that you knew about it

renjun: i found out earlier   
renjun: but it’s so good???   
renjun: i don’t know a lot about architecture and house design but i’m pretty sure that is professional quality work

jeno: no no no   
jeno: i literally whipped that up in one night bc that’s all the time that i was given

renjun: you made that in one night???????   
renjun: i do in fact believe that you are insane

jeno: if we’re being specific it took me a little longer than 12 hours

renjun: you’re actually crazy   
renjun: absolutely cracked at your job

jeno: it’s not even my job yet

renjun: well it’s going to be bc mr zhong is gonna talk you up so much to his colleagues and you’re gonna start making bank designing houses for the top 1% of china 

jeno: i feel like i shouldn't be surprised that chenle is in the top 1% but i still am for some reason

renjun: i’ve known him for years and it still hasn’t exactly sunk in for me either lol

jeno: how do you really understand that a child who just turned 18 is part of an entire country’s top 1%   
jeno: that would never actually sink in that’s literally insane

renjun: ik :/   
renjun: i just can’t believe it   
renjun: but anyways we’re not supposed to be talking about chenle’s status in the world’s economy   
renjun: we’re talking about how lovely that house you designed in 12 hours is   
renjun: it has a fucking elevator

jeno: yeah   
jeno: mr zhong told me to make it as extravagant as possible and that he didn’t have a budget   
jeno: so that’s what i did

renjun: yeah i can tell   
renjun: that master bathroom is literally insane like a walk in shower????? crazy

jeno: i remembered seeing something like that in a movie before so i just put it in cause i liked the design a lot

renjun: well you should   
renjun: that design is so gorgeous and i haven’t even seen it actually built yet

jeno: thanks (.◜◡◝)   
jeno: i’m so glad you like it

renjun: of course   
renjun: it’s enormous for 7 people tho

jeno: i was told to make it considering that other people would live there too   
jeno: i mean jaehyun will probably move in with them at the very least   
jeno: taeyong would probably invite everyone else over a lot   
jeno: plus chenle’s cousins that make up half of northern virginia’s chinese population

renjun: that’s true   
renjun: how much are you getting paid for it?

jeno: about $5000?   
jeno: i don’t remember the exact price

renjun: damn   
renjun: rich

jeno: $5000 is gonna last me two weeks at the most please   
jeno: if i didn’t have scholarships then i would be dead on the streets by now

renjun: first semester isn’t even over yet

jeno: i know   
jeno: but i’m still struggling this much    
jeno: college is literally a fucking scam

renjun: fr   
renjun: i wouldn’t even be here if i had a choice in the matter

jeno: why don’t you   
jeno: your parents?

renjun: ah   
renjun: it’s more chenle’s parents   
renjun: it’s easier for me to keep an eye on chenle if i’m attending school apparently

jeno: wouldn’t that make it even harder?

renjun: idk   
renjun: i just do whatever i’m told to do

jeno: you’re so obedient   
jeno: are you sure you’re an art student

renjun: ofc i’m gonna listen to the people who are paying my bills

jeno: okay wait that’s true   
jeno: and they’re paying mine now too sigh

renjun: lol   
renjun: they’re not bad people and they're wonderful parents   
renjun: they really love chenle   
renjun: which is a lot more than most of us can say

jeno: oh yeah   
jeno: didn’t kun get disowned for being gay?

renjun: yeah   
renjun: and some of us didn’t even have parents so

jeno: oh no :(   
jeno: what about you?

renjun: my parents were yangyang’s parents

jeno: so your biological ones sucked?

renjun: they might’ve been cool   
renjun: i wouldn’t know   
renjun: they died before i got to know them very well

jeno: i’m sorry for asking :((

renjun: no it’s okay   
renjun: i can’t be sad about people i didn’t know

jeno: but haven’t you only known yangyang since fourth grade?

renjun: wait how’d you know?

jeno: he mentioned it once

renjun: you’re very observant

jeno: i tend to be like that with people i’m fond of

renjun: cute   
renjun: yeah i met yang in fourth grade

jeno: so you were alone before that?

renjun: pretty much

jeno: oh no

renjun: it wasn’t all bad   
renjun: i made some friends so i wasn’t super lonely   
renjun: it was nice not being tied down to a house

jeno: do you still think that?

renjun: maybe   
renjun: it’s better to live without attachments for me

jeno: oh

renjun: it’s okay tho   
renjun: even if i think that i don’t actually act on it   
renjun: so don’t ever think you’re getting rid of me

jeno: i hoped that would be the case :)))   
jeno: you shouldn’t leave   
jeno: you’re a crucial part of nct now

renjun: i wasn’t planning on it

jeno: good   
jeno: i would cry if you left

_ Renjun wants to break his phone. _

**the children** **  
** **[Today, 23:51]**

**[sungie is online]**

sungie: are we really The children if sungchan is also our age

**[lele is online]**

lele: what

sungie: i was just thinking   
sungie: we named our chat this bc we are the children of nct   
sungie: but won’t everyone else see sungchan as one of the children too?

lele: oh   
lele: i don’t think it’s anything we need to worry about

sungie: yeah but like   
sungie: idk   
sungie: i just thought i should talk about it   
sungie: sorry if i woke you up

lele: jisungie it’s not even midnight   
lele: i would never be asleep

sungie: you should go to sleep tho   
sungie: i’m gonna go !!

lele: oh   
lele: you just texted me for this?

sungie: yeah   
sungie: i thought you would have some wise advice to offer or something :(

lele: oh   
lele: sorry idrk what to say asdfaglk

sungie: that’s okay   
sungie: good night!

lele: oh   
lele: good night   
lele: i hope you have a nice day at school tomorrow

sungie: it’s never good if you’re not there but i’ll definitely try!

**[sungie is offline]**

**twins** **  
** **[Today, 7:01]**

**[ty is online]**

ty: i hope every single one of your left shoes gets eaten by rats

**[yt is online]**

yt: what the fuck

ty: good morning

yt: what kind of fucking good morning was that   
yt: i hate you   
yt: what do you want you stupid twink

ty: are you busy

yt: i just fucking woke up dude

ty: what about for the rest of the day

yt: no   
yt: no i am not running your errands for you

ty: no   
ty: jaemin wanted to hang out with you but for some reason didn’t want to ask directly

yt: oh   
yt: okay   
yt: fair enough   
yt: i’ll text him

ty: okok

**cherry bomb** **  
** **[Today, 7:04]**

bomb: hey scrub

**[cherry is online]**

cherry: why am i a scrub??

bomb: when are you free today

cherry: all day    
cherry: oh   
cherry: did taeyong tell you

bomb: yeah   
bomb: why didn’t you just ask me directly kid

cherry: cause i heard that you were with sicheng literally the entire weekend    
cherry: you usually don’t like spending that much time around people

bomb: you don’t count   
bomb: you are my child so i will do anything for you

cherry: oh   
cherry: i see   
cherry: i wanted to talk to you a little bit about something

bomb: oh!   
bomb: is everything alright?

cherry: something’s been bothering me about this whole china line situation and since you’re pretty close to all of them i thought that i could ask you about it 

bomb: ohhhhhh   
bomb: welp i can come pick you up from your dorm at 12 and we could go out for lunch?   
bomb: my treat 

cherry: oh that would be great :(   
cherry: thank you so much

bomb: yeah no problem   
bomb: don’t hesitate to ask me next time tho okay?

cherry: got it

**yucheng** **  
** **[Today, 7:09]**

yuta: hey   
yuta: can i call you?

**[sicheng is online]**

sicheng: sure!

**[yuta has started a video call!]**

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 7:33]**

**[teayong is online]**

teayong: hey i made monday breakfast this week   
teayong: @princess yue @uknow @jenna

**[uknow and jenna are online]**

jenna: oh i’m on my way   
jenna: jaemin said he wants to tag along so

uknow: i’m coming too

teayong: oh!!   
teayong: i’ll make extra food then!

uknow: i’m surprised he’s even awake this early

jenna: he’s barely

teayong: he doesn’t have to come if he’s sleepy :(

jenna: he misses ‘duddles (doyoung cuddles)’

teayong: ohhh   
teayong: ew doyoung

uknow: hey!

teayong: yay doyoung

uknow: yeeee

teayong: god that made me sick to my stomach

uknow: you’re overreacting   
uknow: doyoung is lovely

jenna: i think there’s a little bias here

uknow: no bias   
uknow: only facts

teayong: there’s a lot of bias here   
teayong: @dingdong

**[dingdong is online]**

dingdong: no u jaehyun   
dingdong: also i await the juddles (jaemin cuddles)   
dingdong: or it could be jaehyun or jeno cuddles too i do not discriminate

uknow: yeee   
uknow: sandwiched from both sides

teayong: you have class to get to tho

uknow: hmm   
uknow: my teacher can wait a little bit   
uknow: doyoung is infinitely more important than a scam of an education

jenna: yeah yeah   
jenna: i second that   
jenna: doyoung takes priority over some crusty ass white man’s lessons

dingdong: you guys :(

teayong: no

dingdong: except taeyong   
dingdong: choke on your sins

teayong: the only thing i’d ever choke on is a dick so no   
teayong: besides i don’t have enough sins to choke on

dingdong: you’re so ANNOYING

teayong: only to you baby ;)

dingdong: you’re the worst

teayong: not in bed that’s for sure ;)

dingdong: STOP

teayong: that’s not what you told me your safe word was

dingdong: p-please   
dingdong: i’m gonna cry and then jaehyun will come and beat you up

teayong: he would never   
teayong: i’m making him food

uknow: it’s okay doyoungie   
~~ uknow: i eat and then i smack him ~~

teayong: woah woah woah

jenna: let’s pump it up!

dingdong: di da dam di dam di dam

uknow: loona world domination

teayong: why would you reveal your plan to me when you still haven’t even gotten here yet

uknow: you didn’t read anything   
uknow: dude this new update is cracked

**[uknow has deleted one message by uknow]**

teayong: what the fuck!!!!   
teayong: i didn’t even read the patch notes!!!!

dingdong: this is why you do

jenna: it’s the video call addition, users can delete their own messages (admins can delete any messages), there’s a moderator role now for chats with over five members (can add and remove members, can change chat name, can mute member messages), admins can now ban people from a chat and can mute people in video calls 

teayong: seriously???????   
teayong: oh i’m gonna have fun with this   
teayong: thanks for the tldr jeno

jenna: yeah np

dingdong: this app becomes more and more like discord with every update

**[teayong (admin) has given moderator access to johnny appleseed]** **  
** **[teayong (admin) has given moderator access to markus]** **  
** **[teayong (admin) has given moderator access to jenna]**

dingdong: what about me bitch

teayong: not you   
teayong: never you

uknow: not johnny being the only nonleader with mod or admin rights   
uknow: bf privileges

teayong: not dating

uknow: yet

teayong: not dating   
teayong: anyways door is unlocked so have fun   
teayong: get here safe

jenna: we will

uknow: i’ll only do it for the food and for doyoung   
uknow: not because you told me to   
uknow: loser

teayong: you suck

uknow: but you’ll still feed me right? 🥺

teayong: of course i will   
teayong: i would never starve any of you   
teayong: not even doyoung   
teayong: i guess…

dingdong: wow thanks   
dingdong: i feel so loved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh man oh man oh man
> 
> i swear to you all that i've seen your comments and i will reply to them, i just don't have the energy to do it at the moment. i haven't slept since sunday. 
> 
> addressing last chapter's "foreshadowing", yuta is going to be fine. sicheng is just paranoid.  
> but i am planning to have someone kidnapped in the future during a particular ship's arc. i've already given a hint toward which character it will be, and since it's a single hint hidden in thousands of words, i'll give a hint to what chapter it's in: 
> 
> the only chapter in which kun and doyoung's private chat appears. 
> 
> last thing!  
> this is gonna be my last chapter for a while since i'm kind of failing some of my classes (not actually failing but my parents' standards are high) and am taking a break from the fandom. maybe give me a few weeks and we'll be back to normal. in the meantime, please take care of yourselves!


	50. monday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shrek 5 2k20 ver 2  
> [Today, 11:08]
> 
> [fairy godmother is online]
> 
> fairy godmother: guysss  
> fairy godmother: something is wrong with chenleeee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chlorophyll me up daddy 😩😩💦💦  
> Johnny: johnny  
> Taeyong: taeyong
> 
> Shrek 5 2k20 ver 2  
> Kun: horst  
> Ten: shrek  
> Sicheng: pinocchio  
> Yukhei: prince charming  
> Xiaojun: dragon  
> Kunhang: donkey  
> Renjun: fairy godmother  
> Yangyang: puss in boots
> 
> yucheng  
> Yuta: yuta  
> Sicheng: sicheng
> 
> friends 😄 (admin: YT)  
> Taeil: taeil  
> Yuta: yuta  
> Kun: kun  
> Doyoung: dongyoung
> 
> doyu  
> Yuta: thing 1  
> Doyoung: thing 2

**chlorophyll me up daddy 😩😩💦💦** **  
** **[Today, 9:40]**

**[taeyong is online]**

taeyong: yo yo yo

**[johnny is online]**

johnny: hey there   
johnny: what’s up

taeyong: come to the studio!!!   
taeyong: when you’re free ofc

johnny: oh no   
johnny: should i be worried?

taeyong: perhaps!   
taeyong: i am on a creative streak and i do not know what i am going to do next!

johnny: ohhh   
johnny: alright alright   
johnny: i’ll get going now   
johnny: hold on for just a little bit okay?

taeyong: i will definitely try my best!   
taeyong: please hurry!   
taeyong: i feel like i’m gonna die if i don’t get someone other than the wall to bounce ideas off of!

johnny: that would not be good   
johnny: i’m getting in the car now    
johnny: if you want i can call you while i drive so you won’t explode

**[taeyong has started a video call!]**

**Shrek 5 2k20 ver 2** **  
** **[Today, 11:08]**

**[fairy godmother is online]**

fairy godmother: guysss   
fairy godmother: something is wrong with chenleeee

**[horst, shrek, pinocchio, and three others are online]**

dragon: what’s going on??

fairy godmother: he keeps frowning and not even my usual teasing can make him actually be present in the room   
fairy godmother: this kid really shouldn’t go into acting

pinocchio: hm   
pinocchio: it’s getting worse i see

donkey: getting worse?

pinocchio: you know he loves us right   
pinocchio: but he’s never actually seen us as people that he can trust with his negative feelings   
pinocchio: if that makes sense

horst: i’ve noticed it too   
horst: no matter how close we are it’s like he can never get over the fact that his parents pay us   
horst: like there’s a part of him that is always telling him that we’re nothing more than bodyguards

shrek: well that’s stupid

prince charming: it’s called insecurity ten you literally have it all the time

shrek: shut up you’re so loud   
shrek: i can hear you all the way from here

prince charming: i Am loud   
prince charming: you cannot tell me to be quiet

shrek: i just did fucker

prince charming: shut up you fucking gremlin   
prince charming: shorter than my knees looking ass

shrek: i’m literally going to kill you

prince charming: you wouldn’t be able to reach

shrek: wHORE

prince charming: are you mad that i can actually be one ;)

shrek: we’re supposed to be worrying about chenle you stupid fuck

prince charming: i was literally explaining why chenle couldn’t trust us with his deepest darkest thoughts and how you also suffer from the same problem

shrek: i don’t like you

prince charming: sure   
prince charming: is it possible for us to make chenle forget about that tho…

pinocchio: trust me   
pinocchio: i’ve been trying for the longest time but nothing will let him forget about it   
pinocchio: it’s so internalized despite everything i’ve tried 

dragon: so we can’t get him to talk

fairy godmother: i’d assume our best bet is to wait for him to tell us himself but i don’t know if we should wait that long   
fairy godmother: what if it’s something life threatening????

horst: okay it’s probably not that bad   
horst: chenle knows to at least tell us about stuff like that   
horst: especially with the terms for our staying in the states

fairy godmother: you’re right that was dumb

donkey: but what else could it possibly be?

shrek: maybe he’s just lonely   
shrek: we’ve been working so much lately and we’ve had no choice but to leave him alone for a lot longer than usual

pinocchio: i’ll see if i can get him to go out with jisung sometime   
pinocchio: we’d have to divert manpower so he could have protection tho

prince charming: i can tail them   
prince charming: my work is almost done anyways

horst: you sure?   
horst: you should take a rest while you can

prince charming: no   
prince charming: chenle comes first remember?

horst: alright   
horst: sicheng?

pinocchio: yeah i’m texting jisung now   
pinocchio: but he’s in school so we won’t be able to do much for another two hours or so

shrek: well it’s better than nothing so please

pinocchio: yeah yeah   
pinocchio: i’ll take care of it

dragon: you’re the best :)))

pinocchio: yeah yeah yeah   
pinocchio: whatever    
pinocchio: bleh

donkey: we know you love us

pinocchio: nah   
pinocchio: i only love chenle

fairy godmother: rude   
fairy godmother: but fair

prince charming: we all love chenle

horst: everyone loves chenle

shrek: it would be a sin to not

**yucheng** **  
** **[Today, 12:32]**

**[sicheng is online]**

sicheng: so how’s it going with jaemin?   
sicheng: any weird questions so far?

**[yuta is online]**

yuta: not yet   
yuta: but maybe because i’m trying to keep his attention on college and like his relationship with jeno

sicheng: oh   
sicheng: i see

yuta: don’t worry!   
yuta: i remembered everything you told me to say when he asks!

sicheng: that’s good   
sicheng: just call me if you need anything okay?

yuta: do not fret sichengie   
yuta: i will definitely leave out of nowhere and call you if jaemin asks anything suspicious 

sicheng: :/

yuta: i’m kidding!   
yuta: don’t worry i know what you mean!

sicheng: you’re sure?

yuta: i’m absolutely sure!   
yuta: i listen to you very well!

sicheng: that’s good   
sicheng: thank you for listening to me

yuta: it’s cause you’re part of the mafia and you might kill me if i out you!

sicheng: seriously? :(

yuta: NO   
yuta: tis but a joke   
yuta: i listen to you because you deserve to be listened to :(   
yuta: you’re so sweet and you honestly deserve the world for the way that you care so much for everyone and of course i would listen to you, regardless of whether you’re part of the mafia or not

sicheng:    
sicheng: thanks   
sicheng: i really needed that 

yuta: ofc   
yuta: i’d have to be crazy to not give you the love you deserve   
yuta: especially with that stupid mission thing!   
yuta: fuck the police

sicheng: thank you   
sicheng: for everything   
sicheng: i mean it

yuta: it’s really no problem   
yuta: you deserve nothing but the best   
yuta: seriously    
yuta: i will never stop telling you this but you deserve to have the world served to you on a silver platter

sicheng: you are the cheesiest person i’ve ever met

yuta: but you like cheese so it’s pretty good for me isn’t it?

sicheng: oh   
sicheng: i guess

yuta: sorry if that made you uncomfortable

sicheng: no no   
sicheng: i liked it   
sicheng: well   
sicheng: um   
sicheng: yeah   
sicheng: i liked it

yuta: i was hoping you’d say that   
yuta: anyways jaemin looks sus so i’ll talk to you later   
yuta: cool?

sicheng: yeah   
sicheng: that’s cool

yuta: okay   
yuta: stay safe yeah?

sicheng: i will   
sicheng: you too

**friends 😄** **  
** **[Today, 13:51]**

**[dongyoung is online]**

dongyoung: i am going to make a Decision please wish me luck

**[taeil, yuta, and kun are online]**

taeil: not a good or a bad decision?

dongyoung: i don’t know how it’ll turn out so i am just going to call it a Decision until we see the outcome

yuta: well good luck ig 🙄🙄

kun: good luck doyoungie

taeil: i hope everything goes well :)

dongyoung: how is it that every time i come into this chat i find another reason why yuta is not valid

yuta: who knows   
yuta: i’m just not valid in every single way

dongyoung: yeah i know

taeil: are you going to tell us what this decision is?

dongyoung: i love you taeil but no   
dongyoung: sorry

taeil: no that’s okay   
taeil: i just hope that whatever you’re doing it goes well for you

kun: me too!   
kun: if you ever need any help then just tell us!

yuta: not me bitch 🙄

dongyoung: fuck you

yuta: i’m kidding   
yuta: good luck   
yuta: i’m guessing it has something to do with jaehyun so i wish you even more luck than usual

**doyu** **  
** **[Today, 13:55]**

thing 2: why is it that you only have braincells when i wish you didn’t

thing 1: oh so i was right?

thing 2: no   
thing 2: yes   
thing 2: no

thing 1: well whatever you have going on with jaehyun i hope it turns out well for the both of you   
thing 1: you deserve that much at least

thing 2: thanks   
thing 2: god that felt so weird coming from you

thing 1: ikr   
thing 1: i never thought i would hear you thank me in my lifetime

thing 2: let’s agree to never do that again

thing 1: yeah   
thing 1: that was weird   
thing 1: anyways i hope you have fun choking on jaehyun’s dick 

thing 2: bold of you to assume i have a gag reflex   
thing 2: besides you should be worried about yourself   
thing 2: sicheng is definitely packing

thing 1: bold of you to assume that i would be the one on my knees

thing 2: you’re a fucking pussy bitch   
thing 2: ofc you’d be the one on ur knees   
thing 2: ik you love be topped

thing 1: god you know me so well

thing 2: femboy

thing 1: furry   
thing 1: at least i can handle the pain of piercings   
thing 1: pussy

thing 2: go to hell

thing 1: ofc    
thing 1: i have a kingdom to run you stupid hoe

thing 2: uh   
thing 2: hell ain’t your domain   
thing 2: i am literally the spawn of satan    
thing 2: satan is my daddy

thing 1: so jaehyun is satan

thing 2: WHOREASDFKAJFLG

thing 1: i know you love me

thing 2: i really fucking don’t   
thing 2: i hope you break your shins

thing 1: i could never   
thing 1: i’m too fucking graceful to do such a thing

thing 2: uh huh   
thing 2: on a serious note

thing 1: ew seriousness

thing 2: shut the fuck up yuta nakamoto before i shred your skin into a paste   
thing 2: how are things going with sicheng?

thing 1: eh   
thing 1: i mean we’re friends   
thing 1: i found out that he’s not looking for a relationship    
thing 1: like ever

thing 2: oh

thing 1: it’s whatever   
thing 1: i’ve been fine without dating anyone for the past however many years i’m sure i can manage another few decades

thing 2: but you’ve never really fallen for someone this fast or this deep   
thing 2: you’re sure you’ll be okay?

thing 1: yeah   
thing 1: i’ll be fine   
thing 1: thanks for worrying

thing 2: i’ll never do it again

thing 1: yeah   
thing 1: that’d be great lol   
thing 1: so are you and jaehyun gonna start dating?

thing 2: i’m gonna meet up with him today and we’ll see where it goes   
thing 2: i think i’ve recovered enough to the point where i can focus on my own happiness again   
thing 2: my mom told me that he wouldn’t want me to be hung up on him forever anyways   
thing 2: i’m going to try to move on

thing 1: oh

thing 2: yeah   
thing 2: besides i don’t want to leave jaehyun hanging on a string for any longer

thing 1: you’re so strong doyoungie   
thing 1: i really hope that you two will be okay   
thing 1: you deserve it   
thing 1: if you ever need anything   
thing 1: even if it’s just for me to be a bitch   
thing 1: just tell me aite?

thing 2: yeah   
thing 2: altho i have both you and taeyong to be a prick to

thing 1: well   
thing 1: let’s give taeyong a break   
thing 1: he’s been dealing with your bitch ass for the past decade or so after all 🙄🙄

thing 2: fuck you

thing 1: ahaha

thing 2: thanks yuta

thing 1: of course   
thing 1: anytime you need me okay?

thing 2: yeah   
thing 2: good luck with sicheng

thing 1: i don’t need luck   
thing 1: luck needs me 😎

thing 2: forget i ever tried to be soft with you

thing 1: i don’t think i will    
thing 1: i’m gonna take screenshots and then send them to the gc

thing 2: your lifespan has been shortened to five minutes

thing 1: thank god

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a little less than two weeks. i think that's pretty good. i'm still failing but i've decided that i no longer care enough. i should be working on literally anything else but this but yknow  
> here i am  
> hope you guys have been doing well  
> i'll reply to comments when i have more than four hours of sleep lol i'm so sorry  
> i will say that one of you got both the hint that i forgot i gave and the one in the chapter that i gave you and the correct person. it made me really happy that you made the connection haha


	51. tuesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sicheng: hey yuta
> 
> [yuta is online]
> 
> yuta: hey bestie❗️❗️❗️

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yucheng  
> Yuta: yuta  
> Sicheng: sicheng
> 
> greasy  
> Doyoung: hera  
> Jaehyun: zeus

**yucheng** **  
** **[Today, 0:28]**

**[sicheng is online]**

sicheng: hey yuta

**[yuta is online]**

yuta: hey bestie❗️❗️❗️

**[sicheng has started a video call!]**

_ “Hi! How are you?” _

_ “Hey, Yuta. I’m doing well, just a little tired. How about you?” _

_ “I’m doing great, thanks for asking. Sorry to keep you up.”  _

_ “No, that’s okay, I don’t really care. How did things go with Jaemin?” _

_ “Well, he asked.” _

_ “What does that mean?” _

_ “He showed me that conversation with that Number Withheld guy and wanted to know what they were talking about. He said he trusts you, but, in his words, ‘they’re just too sketchy for me to completely trust, and if they’re involved with something dangerous, I want to know’.” _

_ “I thought I told him to delete it?” _

_ “He did! He just had the screenshots from when he texted you about it!”  _

_ “Oh, I see. And what did you tell him?” _

_ “Exactly what you told me to. Told him that I didn’t know anything about it, and that they were probably just some person who was paying attention to Chenle’s family business. But it didn’t look like he really bought it.” _

_ “The part about you not knowing anything about us, or the part about Hoyeon being a fan of Chenle’s family?” _

_ “The second part. Ugh, I feel so bad lying to him. I don’t think I’ve ever done that to him.” _

_ “I’m really sorry about this, Yuta. This is exactly why I told you to keep your distance though.” _

_ “I know, I know, I did this to myself. I think it’s worth it though. You guys are worth it.” _

_ “Oh.”  _

_ “How about the other thing? The mission that Chenle’s dad gave you?” _

_ “Yukhei promised that he’d take care of it. Me and Kun said that we’d help, but he claims that he doesn’t need any.” _

_ “Do you think he will?” _

_ “Maybe. Yukhei is capable, but this is a big job. He has all the resources needed, but still. We worry, y’know?” _

_ “Yeah, of course. I’m already worrying.” _

_ “You just worry too much.” _

_ “I do, don’t I?” _

_ “You really do.” _

_ “I wouldn’t call it a bad thing though…” _

_ “You literally flew across an entire continent and the biggest ocean because you were worried about me.” _

_ “My point still stands, it’s not a bad thing.” _

_ “Okay, Yuta. You do you.” _

**greasy** **  
** **[Today, 0:31]**

**[zeus is online]**

zeus: hey doyoung   
zeus: you got home okay right?

**[hera is online]**

hera: jaehyun you literally dropped me off

zeus: just in case!   
zeus: you never know what could happen!

hera: you’re cute

zeus: ??   
zeus: have you seen yourself?

hera: yeah   
hera: i never said i wasn’t

zeus: oh i see   
zeus: you have a point

hera: but yes i did get home okay   
hera: thank you for not crashing lol

zeus: no problem   
zeus: i would never crash when i have such a precious passenger

hera: :(   
hera: you’re too sweet like actually

zeus: you deserve it

hera: hmm   
hera: do i really?

zeus: y e s   
zeus: you deserve the world and luckily for you i am willing to give it to you

hera: disgusting i’m going to cry

zeus: please don’t   
zeus: if you cry then the rest of the year is going to be cursed so please don’t do that

hera: it’s because of you   
hera: so fucking sappy   
hera: where did you even learn all this

zeus: i was born with it   
zeus: valentine baby yknow

hera: i can tell   
hera: i never thought that i would be the recipient of it tho

zeus: really?   
zeus: guess i haven’t done a good enough job of showing you how much you matter to me 

hera: stop!!!   
hera: you are literally making my heart feel so full right now    
hera: you actually make me feel Things that i didn’t know i could feel   
hera: you suck

zeus: suck????

hera: yes   
hera: i don’t like you

zeus: really :(

hera: no   
hera: i do like you   
hera: very much   
hera: that is literally why you are my significant other now

zeus: oh yeah!!!   
zeus: :D

hera: how could you forget something like that   
hera: i don’t know if i should be sad or not

zeus: wait please do not be sad i’m sorry   
zeus: i swear i didn’t forget i was just not sure if you were okay with me bringing it up or not

hera: jaehyun

zeus: yike

hera: i literally said we could label whatever this is because i was okay with you bringing it up    
hera: all the time   
hera: no matter what   
hera: you can bring it up

zeus: oh   
zeus: sorry

hera: you have nothing you need to apologize for   
hera: ik i’ve been…   
hera: a little off lately   
hera: but from now on you can just treat me like normal okay?   
hera: i’m trying to get on with my life by doing the thing i’ve been wishing for for years   
hera: so let’s just go back to normal yeah?

zeus: okay    
zeus: sorry   
zeus: do you ever want to tell the others

hera: ofc i do   
hera: i just gotta tell taeyong first bc he said if we ever got together and he wasn’t the first person to know then he’d castrate me and i don’t really want that to happen   
hera: i’ll tell you when i do that so we can announce it to the gc okay?

zeus: okay   
zeus: i don’t think it would be very good if you were castrated so take your time!   
zeus: i don’t really care if or when everyone knows so long as you’re happy

hera: o//w//o

zeus: ew nvm

hera: LMAO   
hera: i’ll definitely try my best to not lose my dick

zeus: O_o

hera: lol   
hera: for someone who’s so incredibly sexy you certainly are very innocent

zeus: haha   
zeus: i’m just a child

hera: am i breaking a law if you’re a child

zeus: well   
zeus: maybe not that young

hera: you gotta tell me if you’re a minor kiddo   
hera: i can make you a snack or something

zeus: no!   
zeus: i’m literally 20 

hera: okay   
hera: i trust you ig 

zeus: sigh   
zeus: what have i done to myself

hera: gonna have to get used to it baby

zeus: well   
zeus: if it’s you then i’ll gladly get used to whatever i need to

hera: hey jaehyun

zeus: whatsup

hera: i think i like you

zeus: yeah i certainly would hope so   
zeus: i like you too baby

hera: hell yea   
hera: winning at life rn

zeus: actually i think i’m the one winning here   
zeus: god imagine having the most beautiful man in the universe as your boyfriend   
zeus: oh wait    
zeus: i don’t have to imagine

hera: stop :(   
hera: you’re so freaking cute i don’t know if i hate you or i love you

zeus: i really hope it’s the second one hehe

hera: if you keep making my heart stop then it’ll be the first

zeus: oh no   
zeus: how can i stop being like this when i’m born with it   
zeus: maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s maybelline

hera: were you born with that stupid good looking face too

zeus: are you describing my face as stupid or using it to describe the word ‘good’   
zeus: but yes i was born with this too

hera: both

zeus: you know what    
zeus: i can’t say i care much as long as it comes from you

hera: favoritism

zeus: i will not deny that   
zeus: you’re my favOriTe

hera: stan loona?

zeus: stan loona and stream favOriTe   
zeus: gotta get jinsol that free promo

hera: i keep forgetting you guys are cousins

zeus: she’s been giving me the silent treatment for the past month because i forgot to feed her fish when she was out of town

hera: for an entire month???

zeus: yes   
zeus: i literally only forgot it once out of the 15 times i had to feed it and she has ignored me for an entire month   
zeus: it’s so sick

hera: i don’t know what to tell you man   
hera: i don’t know jinsol very well but even i know to not fuck with her fish   
hera: how is that thing even alive   
hera: don’t they only live for like 2 years

zeus: 3-5   
zeus: and she’s only had it for a year

hera: seriously???   
hera: i remember her having one back in sophomore year too

zeus: she got a new one   
zeus: she was in mourning for half a year when the old one died 

hera: no offense to her but she's actually kind of strange

zeus: she would take it as a compliment

hera: why is she like this

zeus: she's special like that

**New Group Conversation** **  
** **[Today, 2:22]**

**[Taeyong Lee (admin) has added Johnny Seo, Mark Lee, Kun Hang Wong, and three others to the chat!]** **  
** **[Taeyong Lee (admin) has given moderator access to Johnny Seo]** **  
** **[Taeyong Lee (admin) has changed the chat name to misfit]** **  
** **[Taeyong Lee has changed Taeyong Lee's name to taeyong]**

taeyong:  _ sent an audio file _   
taeyong: you have all been selected for the next nct u track that has been created   
taeyong: sungchan yangyang and kunhang this is your chance to show me your rapping skills   
taeyong: listen to the track and i’ll meet you guys on friday and we can go from there   
taeyong: good talk

**[Jeno Lee is online]**

Jeno Lee: go to sleep old man

taeyong : do you think me a Fool who would sleep at 2?

Jeno Lee: i think you a fool yes correct

taeyong : i regret selecting you for this EXTREMELY special unit

Jeno Lee: sucks cause i’m already here baby and i ain’t goin nowhere

taeyong: how very sad   
taeyong: do you forget that i am admin and can remove you

Jeno Lee: do you forget that i immediately download any track that i am to be included in

taeyong: oop   
taeyong: ig you can stay :/

Jeno Lee: thanks ig

**[Jeno Lee has changed Jeno Lee’s name to jeno]**

jeno: wait yangyang is part of this unit?

taeyong: yeah?   
taeyong: OH SHIT

jeno: i can’t believe you forgot

taeyong: i can’t believe i forgot    
taeyong: oh my god

jeno: so what’s the plan for that

taeyong: i guess we’ll have to do it without him   
taeyong: i’ll still leave him in this chat in case he at least wants to listen to the track but i don’t know if   
taeyong: yeah you get it

jeno: yeah yeah

taeyong: we’ll have to postpone the other tracks that he’s supposed to feature in   
taeyong: split this next album in half i suppose   
taeyong: or like repackage it

jeno: how many is he planned for?

taeyong: three plus the wayv unit song

jeno: probably a repackage or something   
jeno: unless you want to postpone the entire thing

taeyong: we have to get out some songs by culture night tho

jeno: that’s true

taeyong: so we’ll just repackage   
taeyong: as for this song tho…   
taeyong: we’ll see how things go

jeno: that seems good   
jeno: sleep   
jeno: the elderly need their rest

taeyong: so do infants

jeno: then we both sleep

taeyong: make sure you’re actually sleeping kid

jeno: i could say the same for you gramps

taeyong: night brat

jeno: good night you old fart

**[taeyong and jeno are offline]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really don't know how to write lucas and jungwoo... this is a big problem...


	52. wednesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bunnyboy: you’re the best
> 
> catboy: i know
> 
> bunnyboy: i’m gonna pretend to have not read that
> 
> catboy: ;)  
> catboy: soft boy hours are over time to be a little bitch again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> furries  
> Taeyong: catboy  
> Doyoung: bunnyboy
> 
> greasy  
> Doyoung: hera   
> Jaehyun: zeus
> 
> 11:11  
> Taeil: princess yue   
> Johnny: johnny appleseed  
> Taeyong: teayong  
> Yuta: yuTA  
> Kun: kung-fu  
> Doyoung: dingdong  
> Ten: number  
> Jaehyun: uknow   
> Sicheng: soupcheng   
> Jungwoo: jungle  
> Yukhei: yukas  
> Mark: markus   
> Xiaojun: of july   
> Kunhang: kun man  
> Renjun: renning  
> Jeno: jenna   
> Donghyuck: hockey hyuck   
> Jaemin: jaemming   
> Yangyang: sheepsheep  
> Shotaro: shota  
> Sungchan: sungshi  
> Chenle: angel le  
> Jisung: jwisung

**furries** **  
** **[Today, 2:21]**

**[bunnyboy is online]**

bunnyboy: i want you to punch me in the arm

**[catboy is online]**

catboy: why tho

bunnyboy: i told jaehyun i would do something an entire 24 hours ago and i just remembered it i feel like a dumb fuck

catboy: wbk   
catboy: i’ll definitely punch you tho

bunnyboy: me and jaehyun started dating

catboy: I’LL DEFINITELY PUNCH YOU THO   
catboy: do i have to castrate you

bunnyboy: no you’re still the first to know

catboy: no fun   
catboy: congrats tho doyoung   
catboy: you guys will make it far i can tell   
catboy: i’m glad you’re okay enough to go through with this   
catboy: you deserve to be loved in the way that he does   
catboy: you deserve to be happy

bunnyboy: bro   
bunnyboy: dude   
bunnyboy: you’re making me soft

catboy: nothing wrong with that bro   
catboy: sometimes we all need to be soft for a bit   
catboy: so let me be soft with you >:(

bunnyboy: okay okay   
bunnyboy: thank you yong   
bunnyboy: you know i wouldn’t have made it this far without your support

catboy: of course   
catboy: it’s the least i can do for you

bunnyboy: seriously   
bunnyboy: you’re the best

catboy: i know

bunnyboy: i’m gonna pretend to have not read that

catboy: ;)   
catboy: soft boy hours are over time to be a little bitch again

bunnyboy: aren’t you always

catboy: not any more than you are

bunnyboy: i take it back i hate you

catboy: too late   
catboy: i have receipts

bunnyboy: god you’re so fucking annoying

catboy: oooohhhh you wanna kiss me so bad

bunnyboy: ew   
bunnyboy: disgusting   
bunnyboy: you are revolting   
bunnyboy: i’m blocking you   
bunnyboy: you suck

catboy: you’re just mad i’m right

bunnyboy: i’m mad that you think you’re right

catboy: i’m only reading two words out of that message and i think you can guess which ones they are

bunnyboy: suck a dick

catboy: only if it’s yours ;)

bunnyboy: why am i friends with you

catboy: cause i’m sexy and irresistible 

**[You can no longer send messages to this user.]**

_ “That’s rude!” _

_ “Oh, cry me a river, Taeyong!” _

_ “Shut the fuck up! Do you know what time it is?!” _

_ “Sorry, Taeil.” _

_ “Sorry, Taeil.” _

**greasy** **  
** **[Today, 2:34]**

hera: so i just told taeyong i’m so sorry i completely forgot

**[zeus is online]**

zeus: that’s fine lol   
zeus: there was no rush anyways

hera: i have to let the world know that you’re mine as soon as possible

zeus: wow you just made my heart fall out of my chest that’s amazing

hera: put it back in

zeus: you have to do that yourself   
zeus: take responsibility for your actions 

hera: nahh   
hera: campus is a little far   
hera: if i’m gonna put your heart back in then you’ll have to wait until morning

zeus: i’m gonna dieeee   
zeus: oh nooo   
zeus: you would leave me without a heart for hours???

hera: i would in fact   
hera: it does not seem like my problem 

zeus: how rude

hera: yeah but you know you love me 

zeus: i do actually   
zeus: and i’m glad that you know that

hera: oh n o here come the feels

zeus: they’re not that bad… right??

hera: i’ve been in my feels twice just in the past hour   
hera: it’s bad!!!!!

zeus: oh no i’m sorry

hera: it’s okay ig 🙄   
hera: whatever for you

zeus: :)   
zeus: i guess we tell it tomorrow bc it’s late and i wouldn’t wanna wake anyone up O_o

hera: you’re so considerate 

zeus: hmmm   
zeus: only sometimes

hera: all the time

zeus: i cannot even count the amount of times that i’ve tricked one of my family members into giving me more money than i usually got each christmas 

hera: ok uh   
hera: tbh i’ve done it too before LMAO

zeus: you are literally my soulmate

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 8:36]**

**[dingdong and uknow are online]**

uknow: morning everyone

**[princess yue, johnny appleseed, teayong, and twelve others are online]**

yuTA: you’re getting an early start

teayong: i’m actually surprised to see this many people awake at a time that isn’t like midnight

hockey hyuck: it’s better than having like all 23 of us online at the same time   
hockey hyuck: it would be so hard to keep track of people

jwisung: my head would honestly start hurting   
jwisung: i think even before like china line joined it hurt me

jenna: there were only like fourteen of us but it got so confusing

jaemming: only fourteen?????

markus: there’s no way that that’s real

angel le: well there was nine new members right   
angel le: 23-9=14   
angel le: basic math markus

dingdong: yall shut up please

sungshi:  _ what’s going on hyung? _

shota: if you’re awake earlier than usual, then something has to be going on, right?

dingdong: yes now hush

teayong: COULD IT BE

dingdong: taeyong please shut the fuck up for ONE second

princess yue: oh now i’m interested

jungle: please do tell

uknow: me and doyoung are dating!

jungle: OMG BESTIE CONGRATS 

yuTA: I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN

teayong: I KNEW IT OFFICIALLY BEFORE YOU YUTA SO SUCK MY DICK

yuTA: I WOULD RATHER N O T

johnny appleseed: congratulations you two!!

princess yue: congrats!

sungshi:  _ wow congratulations hyung!!! _

shota: congratulations! i hope it goes well for you guys!!

hockey hyuck: congrats you old farts

markus: congrats !!!!!!!!

jaemming: wow copying me and jeno   
jaemming: fan behavior

uknow: :/   
uknow: okay

jenna: jaemin you know i love you but stop baby

jaemming: okok   
jaemming: congrats ig ._.

jenna: congrats from me and jaemin !   
jenna: he's actually smiling like an idiot rn so don't mind him

jaemming: lies being spread on my name

jwisung: congratulations    
jwisung: does this mean i am formally adopted by you two

dingdong: yeah you’re being adopted for the second time

angel le: congratulations! i’m so happy for you!

uknow: thank you guys :)

teayong: i would like to say it here   
teayong: i was the first one to know   
teayong: thank you

yuTA: why does it even matter who knew first   
yuTA: i know you threatened him to get him to tell you anyways

teayong: hey now you have no evidence of that

yuTA: sure   
yuTA: and even if you knew first i was the one who gave him advice so HA   
yuTA: i am directly tied with these idiots getting together and am better than you

teayong: i won’t deny the first part of that message but i will deny the second with every single one of my breaths

yuTA: i’ll make sure johnny steals as many of those as he can so you can shut up for once

johnny appleseed: let’s be civil    
johnny appleseed: we’re in the presence of a newlywed couple

dingdong: newly wed…

uknow: newly wed???

hockey hyuck: yes newly wed   
hockey hyuck: aren’t you guys in your 20s shouldn’t you know how to read

shota: are we just ignoring that johnny hyung is stealing taeyong hyung’s breath????

yuTA: we do it all the time don’t worry about it

shota: oh ok!

dingdong: donghyuck shut the fuck up

hockey hyuck: i don’t think i will :]

dingdong: can someone take this kid’s speaking privileges away he doesn’t deserve them

teayong: sure!

dingdong: don’t do it hoe

**[teayong (admin) has muted dingdong for one minute]**

uknow: no :[   
uknow: don’t do doyoung like this

teayong: i’ll actually do whatever i want

jungle: i can hear doyoung screaming at you to go fuck yourself from my dorm

princess yue: seriously???

jungle: yes

johnny appleseed: he was actually yelling that lmao

jungle: i have super hearing what can i say

markus: do you really now

jungle: i can hear your eye roll from my dorm so yes i do

markus: i wasn’t rolling my eyes   
markus: chan can testify   
markus: hi i’m chan and i testify that mark was not rolling his eyes

jungle: hi chan!   
jungle: altho i doubt that’s really you

markus:  _ sent an audio recording _

teayong: oh hi chan!   
teayong: gosh what a good kid   
teayong: you should switch with him mark

markus: wow okay i guess   
markus: i know for a fact that vernon and josh would appreciate me more than you guys

johnny appleseed: jOsH

jenna: jOSh

markus: can’t say shit around here anymore

hockey hyuck: you and chan both got that dump truck 🥵

markus: i feel objectified

hockey hyuck: good that means you have basic reading comprehension

**[dingdong is offline]**

uknow: LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE TAEYONG   
uknow: THE FUCKING DISRESPECT

teayong: oh chill out loverboy he’s just doing grocery run

uknow: I’M SUPPOSED TO BE DOING YOUR GROCERY RUNS HOW DARE YOU MAKE HIM DO THEM

yuTA: jaehyun calm down   
yuTA: he’s going to your dorm bc he missed you

uknow: oh   
uknow: i still don’t like you taeyong

teayong: and that’s fine    
teayong: i still don’t care regardless 

uknow: you suck

teayong: yeah okay fair

johnny appleseed: nooo you don’t suck taeyong   
johnny appleseed: i would tell you off jaehyun but we do need to eat so

uknow: that’s what i thought 

johnny appleseed: you little shit

uknow: oh?   
uknow: i guess you’re starving for the next two weeks

yuTA: oh god you’ve gone too far johnny

princess yue: how dare you do this to us

johnny appleseed: just go buy your own groceries gah damn

yuTA: why tho   
yuTA: jaehyun he’s sorry

johnny appleseed: i never said that

princess yue: johnny say you’re sorry or i will never do anything for you again   
princess yue: i will sue you for 2x your worth

johnny appleseed: ahaha jaehyun i’m just kidding you’re so sexy

uknow: i hate you

johnny appleseed: i know you don’t actually

uknow: so true bestie

jungle: i thought i was your bestie how could you

uknow: i’m sorry jungwoo   
uknow: you’ve been replaced

jungle: this is so sad   
jungle: yuta you’re my new bestie

yuTA: hell yeah   
yuTA: bye taeyong you fucking hoe

teayong: ok

yuTA: be a little more sad about it

teayong: i have taeil   
teayong: taeil would never switch up on me like that

princess yue: you’re so right king. 

teayong: taeil is objectively the best out of all yall

jaemming: why did you say yall   
jaemming: that makes me uncomfy

markus: we literally live in the south

jenna: i’d like to think of nova as a middle between the north and the south

jwisung: just by using yall you confirm that you are in fact part of the south

angel le: isn’t the mason dixon line in like maryland   
angel le: of course we’re in the south

hockey hyuck: tf is a mason dixon line

angel le: isn’t that the thing dividing the north and the south????????

hockey hyuck: do i look like the kind of person who paid attention in geography chenle

angel le: okay fair


	53. thursday/friday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kun Qian: hey shotaro, sungchan  
> Kun Qian: we need your help with something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 11:11  
> Taeil: princess yue  
> Johnny: johnny appleseed  
> Taeyong: teayong  
> Yuta: yuTA  
> Kun: kung-fu  
> Doyoung: dingdong  
> Ten: number  
> Jaehyun: uknow  
> Sicheng: soupcheng  
> Jungwoo: jungle  
> Yukhei: yukas  
> Mark: markus  
> Xiaojun: of july  
> Kunhang: kun man  
> Renjun: renning  
> Jeno: jenna  
> Donghyuck: hockey hyuck  
> Jaemin: jaemming  
> Yangyang: sheepsheep  
> Shotaro: shota  
> Sungchan: sungshi  
> Chenle: angel le  
> Jisung: jwisung 
> 
> siyong  
> Taeyong: taeyong  
> Sicheng: sicheng
> 
> kim chungha enthusiasts  
> Mark: roller coaster  
> Donghyuck: stay tonight

**11:11** **  
** **[Today, 1:28]**

**[number, kun man, and renning are online]**

kun man: i forgot!   
kun man: there’s less than a week left until christmas!!   
kun man: do you guys have plans?

**[kung-fu, soupcheng, jungle, and four others are online]**

jenna: i don’t!

jaemming: probably gonna spend christmas eve with my family but christmas day is all free

kung-fu: i don’t think i have any lol

renning: yeah no shit lmao

yukas: i think all of china line is free

jungle: i’m free too 

sungshi: me and shotaro hyung are also free!

kun man: do you guys wanna get together or something?

renning: i don’t think most of us are able to leave the hospital yet

number: maybe like a group facetime?   
number: i don’t think we could fit all 23 of us in a room LMAO

yukas: facts

soupcheng: the hospital staff would probably get mad at us if we even tried to get more than 5 in one room

kung-fu: not even probably   
kung-fu: they definitely would

renning: they got upset when dream came to visit me i don’t think 23 members is gonna work

jenna: that’s like a whole class worth of people 

sungshi: maybe the video call feature?

jaemming: yeah yeah   
jaemming: an entire day spent in the video call lol

jungle: well maybe not the entire day cause i sleep until like 1 on christmas

kun man: late at night then!

number: is everyone else free?

jaemming: i know that jisung is

jungle: unless jaehyun has plans with doyoung then he’s also free

kun man: i don’t think that yangyang is physically capable of being busy lol

renning: wait a sec christmas is on a wednesday this year that’s so nasty

jenna: well next year it’s on a friday!   
jenna: so we make up for it

renning: oh you right

**siyong** **  
** **[Today, 8:05]**

**[taeyong is online]**

taeyong: hey sicheng!   
taeyong: i’m guessing you already know but the seniors are gonna be moving to a bigger place so i was wondering if you wanted to live with us too?   
taeyong: since it’s better than the crusty ass dorms at school

**[sicheng is online]**

sicheng: uhm   
sicheng: sure!   
sicheng: i would love to!

taeyong: ‘uhm’?   
taeyong: you don’t have to !!!

sicheng: ik but i was just thinking that minghao would have to find another roommate but then i remembered that he has someone else he can stay with 

taeyong: ohhh   
taeyong: well we would be honored to have you with us

sicheng: i would be honored to join :]

taeyong: yay!

sicheng: do you guys know when you’re gonna be moving in?

taeyong: nope   
taeyong: at least before the next semester starts they say

sicheng: ohhh

taeyong: yeah lol cause apparently this thing has been in construction for a lot longer than even kun knew

sicheng: really?

taeyong: yeah   
taeyong: since november O_o   
taeyong: so chenle’s parents knew all along that they were gonna let him stay in america

sicheng: omfg   
sicheng: you’ve gotta be kidding me 

taeyong: ikr   
taeyong: they terrified all of us for no reason

sicheng: that’s such a them thing to do tho

taeyong: they’ve done that before?

sicheng: not this exact situation but they like making us work to get what we want regardless of what their plans are

taeyong: well it’s good that they’re teaching you guys persistence,,,

sicheng: i guess :/

taeyong: anyways yeah!   
taeyong: that’s all i needed   
taeyong: how’s your day going

sicheng: it’s pretty good   
sicheng: we found out that yangyang has a severe concussion and some damage to his eardrums but it’s nothing life threatening

taeyong: that’s amazing!!   
taeyong: how is his recovery going?

sicheng: he acts the same but just a little quieter lol

taeyong: he ONLY has a concussion and ear damage?   
taeyong: i’m not a medical student but i thought that it would’ve been a little more severe than that

sicheng: well he broke four of his ribs, his shoulder got dislocated, and he sprained his neck   
sicheng: there was a piece of debris stuck in his thigh and needed 11 stitches near his stomach but these are all things that the doctors took care of like immediately

taeyong: ohhhh   
taeyong: that makes more sense 

sicheng: what about you?

taeyong: pretty good   
taeyong: i just woke up so not really much for me to talk about

sicheng: i see

taeyong: that i’m icy

sicheng: lol   
sicheng: i actually have to go take care of some stuff so i’ll talk to you later

taeyong: okay good luck!

sicheng: thanks   
sicheng: have a nice day taeyong

**[sicheng is offline]**

**New Group Conversation** **  
** **[Today, 20:41]**

**[Kun Qian (admin) has added Si Cheng Dong, Yuk Hei Wong, Shotaro Osaki, and one other to the chat!]**

Kun Qian: hey shotaro, sungchan   
Kun Qian: we need your help with something

**[Shotaro Osaki and Sungchan Jung are online]**

Shotaro Osaki: does this have to do with the fact that all of you are part of the chinese mafia?

Kun Qian: it does   
Kun Qian: sungchan, your parents were murdered by the same people who just tried to attack chenle   
Kun Qian: the explosion that put most of us in the hospital?   
Kun Qian: it was them

Sungchan Jung: oh

Kun Qian: i’m sorry if it’s a sensitive topic but we need to take them down as soon as possible   
Kun Qian: we can’t afford to wait anymore, especially since the boss told us to do it within the next three months

Shotaro Osaki: you only have three months to take down the entire Ryu clan?

Kun Qian: unfortunately   
Kun Qian: so we really need your help with this

Sungchan Jung: i’m willing to help with whatever i can

Shotaro Osaki: me too   
Shotaro Osaki: if it’ll help make you guys safe, then I’ll help with everything

Kun Qian: you guys are lifesavers   
Kun Qian: okay first off   
Kun Qian: we’re going out tomorrow

Shotaro Osaki: are you allowed to leave the hospital?

Kun Qian: you’re*   
Kun Qian: sicheng and yukhei were never admitted, and they’ll be the ones that you guys will work with   
Kun Qian: me and ten are gonna take care of the logistics, so just focus on whatever sicheng and yukhei need from you

Sungchan Jung: oh

Kun Qian: also congratulations, sungchan   
Kun Qian: it seems like you’re using more english

Sungchan Jung: thanks hyung   
Sungchan Jung: I think i’m getting used to it a little more now

Shotaro Osaki: by the way   
Shotaro Osaki: does Yuta hyung know about you guys?   
Shotaro Osaki: because it seems like he’s super close with Sicheng hyung and he was even the one to pick us up in Korea

Kun Qian: he does   
Kun Qian: but we’re really trying to keep him at a distance   
Kun Qian: we don’t want anyone to get hurt

Sungchan Jung: how many people other than us know?

Kun Qian: just taeil and jisung

Shotaro Osaki: okay   
Shotaro Osaki: when are they gonna take us out?

Kun Qian: probably around lunchtime   
Kun Qian: or at the asscrack of dawn   
Kun Qian: any time when people aren’t out and about

Sungchan Jung: asscrack of dawn?

Kun Qian: like extremely early

Sungchan Jung: oh   
Sungchan Jung: i think english is a little too confusing still

Kun Qian: it’s okay   
Kun Qian: it’s a hard language but you’re already doing great!   
Kun Qian: it’ll get easier since you live in a place where people speak english all the time

Sungchan Jung: this is hard

Shotaro Osaki: now you know how I felt when I first came to Korea

Kun Qian: oh that reminds me   
Kun Qian: how did you guys even become brothers?

Shotaro Osaki: oh   
Shotaro Osaki: my parents were close with his and they eventually couldn’t fund a child so they just sent me to live with Sungchan’s family

Kun Qian: i’m so sorry :(

Shotaro Osaki: it’s okay I don’t really care anymore   
Shotaro Osaki: they were just doing what they thought was best for me   
Shotaro Osaki: that’s the official story though, I’m not really sure what actually happened

Kun Qian: what makes you think that there’s more to it?

Shotaro Osaki: I overheard Sungchan’s parents talking about how mine disappeared about a year after I went to live with them

Sungchan Jung: wait really???   
Sungchan Jung: you never told me

Shotaro Osaki: never needed to   
Shotaro Osaki: plus it was probably something sketchy considering that your parents were also involved in something sketchy

Sungchan Jung: oh you’re right

Kun Qian: oh   
Kun Qian: i’ll see what i can find out if you want me to

Shotaro Osaki: only if it isn’t too much work for you    
Shotaro Osaki: I don’t mind not knowing about them!

Kun Qian: i’m going to because you guys are helping us out with stuff like this :)

Shotaro Osaki: you don’t have to but thank you :]

Kun Qian: of course   
Kun Qian: just tell me if you guys need anything okay?   
Kun Qian: i will everything in my power to make it happen

Sungchan Jung: thank you hyung 

Kun Qian: don’t mention it

**kim chungha enthusiasts** **  
** **[Today, 7:03]**

**[roller coaster is online]**

roller coaster: hey i doubt you’re awake but i have something to tell you

**[stay tonight is online]**

stay tonight: unless it’s that you won the lottery and you’re giving me half i don’t wanna hear it   
stay tonight: i’m kidding   
stay tonight: what’s up markgarita

roller coaster: that’s a new one

stay tonight: what can i say i have an enormous brian

roller coaster: yet you can’t even spell brain correctly

stay tonight: it’s 7 in the morning ofc i can’t spell   
stay tonight: now what do you want kid

roller coaster: i’ve been seeing a therapist for a little bit 

stay tonight: ON GOD???????   
stay tonight: i’m so proud of you mark   
stay tonight: i don’t know what’s wrong but i do know that i want you to be as happy and healthy as you possibly can

roller coaster: oh gosh    
roller coaster: i know you’re a nice person but sometimes when you’re nice to me i get whiplash

stay tonight: shawty give me whiplash

roller coaster: oh no i’m having flashbacks

stay tonight: that song was so good   
stay tonight: especially when taeyong said that it was about his sister   
stay tonight: that was the best part of us promoting cherry bomb

roller coaster: i don’t know what you’re talking about that was so awkward

stay tonight: yeah yeah   
stay tonight: but i’m actually really happy for you i hope you know that

roller coaster: thank you hyuck

stay tonight: how long have you been seeing them?

roller coaster: a week

stay tonight: so you haven’t even had like a second session lol

roller coaster: nope   
roller coaster: i just thought i should tell you now before like my next session

stay tonight: well thank you   
stay tonight: you didn’t have to tell me but i’m super happy for you

roller coaster: i thought i owed it to you   
roller coaster: you’ve been super good to me and i can’t imagine that i would even be sane if not for you

stay tonight: you give me too much credit

roller coaster: no i give you the exact amount of credit that you deserve   
roller coaster: i really really appreciate everything that you’ve done for me

stay tonight: stawppp you’re gonna make me blush

roller coaster: you’d probably look really pretty

stay tonight: okay now i’m blushing for sure   
stay tonight: you suck mark lee

roller coaster: sorry :[

stay tonight: i’m kidding!   
stay tonight: but still i really do appreciate you   
stay tonight: thank you

roller coaster: keep that up and we’ll end up like  [ this ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSnKX7kAgIc)

stay tonight: hmmm   
stay tonight: maybe i wouldn’t mind

roller coaster: that is so gay

stay tonight: have you met me

roller coaster: that’s true   
roller coaster: me too tho

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in which i remember that in this fic it's currently december 19/20 and very close to christmas despite it being march irl
> 
> oopsy by weki meki has been taken off of spotify and i am Livid. they will not get away with this.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! i hope you liked it!
> 
> keep me company on twt : [aestia5](https://twitter.com/aestia5)


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